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    Home » More Stuff » Philip the Poodle

    Philip Got Fixed & Came Home Stoned

    December 14, 2022 by Karen 46 Comments

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    This week my dog Philip became a boy. Help control the pet population — have your pets spayed or neutered. Well, Mr. Bob Barker I did just that and now my dog is stoned, pees weird and his ballsack is a hanging, shrivelled mess.

    Blue standard poodle in Suitical on sofa in front of Christmas tree.

    Not high, but not, not-high either.

    There is a debate about when to get your large male dogs neutered. 10 years ago there was no debate, you did it when your dog became 6 months old or started to look at you with humpy eyes.

    Now research is showing that large dogs in particular should be left as long as possible before neutering. This allows the dog to reach maturity before being altered which in turns helps prevent certain illnesses later in life.

    It also allows the dog to grow to its full potential making dogs who are neutered later bigger and more muscular.

    So instead of 6 months, some vets are recommending neutering at 1 year. 24 months even, if you can tough it out.

    I didn't have that kind of resolve, I used up all of my resolve last week when I bought dry popcorn instead of Ruffles and dip at the grocery store.

    You can read about how I plotted to put an all inclusive resort out of business by eating all their bacon here, because that fiasco is what led to me having to snack on dry popcorn and carrots for the next couple of as long as I can handle it.

    I opted to get Philip neutered at 16 months around the middle of the recommended age of 1-2 years . And approximately 5 months after he began eyeing everything as a potential partner in porn.

    At the vet's office while I was picking him up after his surgeries (I also had his stomach tacked so it can't flip - a known issue with barrel chested dogs) Lip seemed subdued from the sedation but nothing noteworthy.

    Between the vet's office and my living room Philip went from a little bit slow to a drooling simpleton.

    Would you like to save this stuff?

    We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.

    I immediately texted everyone in my family to tell them Philip was stoned. It was almost funny, but not quite, but probably would be by tomorrow - so I clicked record on my phone.

    By the next day it was indeed funny. Still a bit sad, but mainly funny because he woke up feeling fine other than NOT being able to get comfortable.

    I clicked record on that as well.

    Please enjoy.

    We're now 3 days out from the neutering and Philip is back to normal and in a week and a half he'll be able to go play with Sterling again.

    Philip is 60 pounds and 25" tall at the shoulder. He is a large dog.

    There is something no one tells you when you get your 1-2 year old dog neutered. Especially a BIG dog with a royal sized set of door knockers.

    How big? I was going to get a curtain made to hang off of his tail.

    With neutering, they don't get rid of the whole handbag - just the coins inside the purse. Once they take the actual money out, you're left with a deflated sack that hangs down, empty, pathetic and without purpose; a lacky sack.

    If you have an interest in the before and after shots of Philips testicles (because you're human and even though you don't WANT to want to look - you wanna look), you can click here to read this tiny post about them.

    I've been assured this entire experience from the arrival of Snoop dog to the withered birthday boy balloon between his legs are perfectly normal.

    Philip Got Fixed & Came Home Stoned

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    1. Shal Biacsi

      December 02, 2023 at 1:16 am

      I love the video of Phillip! Thank you for sharing that. Poor baby. But glad he recovered well. I’m looking at having my 2 yr old Dutch Shepherd (95# very big boy) neutered…..well he will be close to 3 by the time it gets done since vet is booked out for the next 7 months. Where did you get his amazing post-op onesie?! I love that!! Ollie had to be in a cone once and it was such a horrible ordeal and he kept maneuvering out of it even while still somewhat “stoned” from anesthesia. I tried the donut collar too but he got out of that too and then disemboweled the thing. Something like Phillip’s onesie (love the adorable little snap flaps at the back too) looks like a perfect alternative to the awful cone.

      Reply
      • Karen

        December 04, 2023 at 1:05 pm

        Hi Shal! He is a big handsome boy! I actually borrowed the suit from a friend who also has a standard poodle. It's called a Suitical and you can get it on Amazon for about $35US. It's actually meant for post-op and it worked really well as you can see. :) ~ karen!

        Reply
    2. TriciaD

      January 15, 2023 at 11:53 am

      I have a cat that is suppose to be a TCC (tea cup cat) he will be 2 years old in May. I've never had a cat before. So a few months ago he was going wild and making this horrible meowing jumping up in the window and he got out a few times so I'm crying and so afraid for him because he is so small. He showed up the next day. So I want (need) to have him neutered soon. He has never even been in a carrier before. How long are they "high" so I kinda know what to expect. I'm so glad I found this page. I was checking out how to fill a Swiffer bottle and the boiling water worked like a charm. I'm going to be on here all day there is so much cool stuff. Thanks so much!

      Reply
      • Karen

        January 17, 2023 at 11:26 am

        Hi TriciaD! I've had several cats and none of them came home from their neutering/spaying appointment like this. They were just tired and groggy. Your boy should be fine. :) And welcome to my site! ~ karen

        Reply
    3. Maria

      December 21, 2022 at 7:45 am

      Fyi Testicular prosthesis for dogs are a thing. See Neuticles.com

      Reply
      • Karen

        December 21, 2022 at 10:28 am

        I know they are! Someone told me a few months ago.😆 ~ karen!

        Reply
    4. Fran Schwitek

      December 16, 2022 at 11:35 am

      Hilarious! Poor Philip!

      Reply
      • Caril

        December 18, 2022 at 3:52 pm

        That is strange that they leave the sac. Here in USA they remove everything. Glad he is feeling better. The video was just to cute

        Reply
        • Addie

          December 21, 2022 at 3:03 am

          Ahhh...NO they don't....My poor Bill was 2 years old and he had the floppy disks when he first came home...and I live in Arizona, USA. It does shrink back once they start running around. IF they are too old sometimes it does not fully shrink back...yuck!!! It is quite a site. Maybe you have only seen young dogs..then it isn't so noticeable.

        • LB

          June 17, 2023 at 8:11 pm

          You can ask to have a scrotal ablation performed. The surgeon will remove the scrotum and testes.

    5. Robin Prothro

      December 16, 2022 at 6:17 am

      That huff at the end though... 🤣

      Reply
      • Karen

        December 16, 2022 at 10:02 am

        Love the huff!! ~ karen

        Reply
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