Rectangular Wreath

So sure, I could have stopped at the Square Christmas Wreath. But I didn’t.

I didn’t stop at the square wreath because I am a rebel the likes of which you have never seen.  I run with scissors,  use Canadian coins in American parking meters and drink almost expired milk.  I am rebel, hear me pour.

Using the same materials and methods I used for the Square Christmas Wreath made out of plumbing pipe, I created this wreath. It’s not circular, it’s not square. It’s a rectal wreath. No. Rectangular is the word I was looking for. It’s a rectangular wreath.

I put it together out of old stuff my niece was going to throw out.  My niece throws a lot of things out.  She certainly isn’t a hoarder.  She’s a part of the lesser known subcategory of mental illnesses.  She’s a Chucker.   Don’t ever give her presents.  In one of her frequent mad fits she will chuck it.   Many a thing has been chucked from her basement, drawers and garage.  On more than one occasion I’ve seen her open up her closet only to stare into it, rapidly blinking, realizing she’s chucked all but one pair of jeans.  Blink, blink.

So before she had a chance to ditch all of  her old Christmas garland, pinecones and lights I grabbed the box and ran home with it.  Along with a pair of slightly used Sevens.

In making this wreath, the only change I made was the length of the plastic pipes, AND I used some PVC cement at the joints.  With such a big wreath, it’s a lot heavier and more prone to falling apart.  (the pipes slip out of the elbows)  Other than that, you make it exactly the same!




I hung the wreath on my front door for photographic purposes, but it is now hanging proudly on her front door. Where it will delight the neighbours and warm people’s hearts. Until she decides to chuck it.


28 Comments

  1. Once again I am #awestruck.
    Karen, you gotta come up here to Yellowknife and do some kind of “The Art of Doing Stuff whilst wearing a Canada Goose Parka”.
    Because supplies aren’t always easy to get up here and because skilled labour is conspicuously absent, we have a DIY culture up here (I’m a misfit) and We’d LOVE YOU. Come up?

    • Karen says:

      Nancy – I’d actually LOVE to go to Yellowknife, but at the moment it isn’t what you’d call “monetarily possible”. I *am* ready for when the time comes though. I own a Canada Goose parka. Perhaps I could sell it to fund my trip. 🙂 ~ karen

  2. Helen says:

    I gotta say, the “rectal wreath” thing made my eyebrows go up.
    thanks for smile and great idea (again)

  3. Sherry Jarwin says:

    I am in love with this website. Thank you for sharing your wisdom! I Iook forward to following you!

  4. Jenn says:

    You just diagnosed me: I’m a Chucker. My husband is a Saver. Our attic is a disaster area for which I’ve abandoned all hope.

  5. Kate says:

    Rectal wreath…ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay.

    I can’t wait to see what your google search look like after this post.

    Great job by the way!

  6. Anna says:

    I see you “renamed” the title of this post? I do admit the original was a bit “offputting” and a curiosity to see what you had done. I love your posts, so keep up the good work!

    • Karen says:

      Hi Anna! I did rename the post, but not because it was off putting … I renamed it because there were problems with the link to it. I tried renaming it to fix the link. 🙂 I have nooooo problem with being off putting. 🙂 ~ karen!

  7. Sue says:

    Oh,Karen, you never fail to make me smile. Rectal wreath BHAHAHA! And it is absolutely stunning! My bf (ex, sometimes…well, too long of a story) ANYway, he is a chucker, throws out everything and drives me nuts!

  8. Oh, my! I have GOT to go raid my hubby’s plumbing stuff!!! I love it! It would be perfect to go around the oval window in my front door!

  9. Laura says:

    your rectal area is certainly cuter than mine.

  10. Patrice says:

    Am I seeing things? It looks like an animal behind the silver leaves? It’s in all pics but most notably in the second one???? Love the wreath so I plan on making my own. Thanks for the post!

  11. Bill Grigg says:

    I am eagerly awaiting your trapezoidal or dodecahedron wreath. Or perhaps a PVC Star of David?

  12. Teresa says:

    Oh, I looooove the rectangular wreath. So luscious.

    What does your workspace/craft station look like?

    My apologies if you have covered this interesting aspect of your life previously. I am about to go to bed and feel confident that I would have already fallen across it if it existed. I <3 your blog.

    xo

  13. When you get more famous and get your own show, can I be your sidekick? I have all the credentials – cute, funny, witty, snappy dresser, inability to take teasing well…..all qualities you want in an imaginary sidekick right?

    High Five to you sister! Awesome project.

  14. Janelle says:

    Wow, good eye, Patrice! It looks like a bat. Beautiful wreath, Karen. I love how tall it is!

  15. Virginia Dunn says:

    What is the critter behind the wreath… cat or bat?? I love to come see you everyday… I have done many of your projects with my great grandchildren… they think I am the clever one and I don’t wanna break there little hearts… sooo I haven’t given you credit yet… LOL!!!

  16. Kelly Kline says:

    Wow, what a stunning wreath!! I love it! I am going to make this for my front door this weekend! A great prodject to do with my daughters 11 and 7. Thanks so much for posting! I LOVE your website and get so much inspiration from it!! I’ve been hunting for the white glass globes, and have found 4. Can’t wait to start that project. And oh the beautiful fire pit!! I am also going to the dollar store to make the hostess gifts, so clever!! You are so awesome, and Thank you so much!!!

  17. Skye says:

    I just found your website, from craftzine.com, and I love it. Thank you for being honest and funny and crafty! And I do see a bat behind the wreath, unless it’s a stuffed animal.

    • Karen says:

      Sky – LOL. I’ll have to go take another look. Thanks for browsing my website! I appreciate it. In an honest, funny, crafty kind of way. ~ karen

  18. Vandana says:

    Hello Karen,
    I love your site. This wreath is great and The Tree Stump Table was awesome. You really are a very talented girl!

  19. Parker says:

    Hi Karen,

    Soooo….there truly is a critter in that wreath, right? I’m thinking cat, but….how the heck would a kitty come to be hanging out in a wreath? I swear it looks real/alive…..?
    Luvin your blog. 😀

  20. Ei Con says:

    I’m betting the mystery bat/cat is actually a cast iron door knocker. A fox head perhaps?

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