Songs I wish they’d never, ever, ever play on the radio again.
Because I hate them.

This post is going to rile a bunch of you up, so I want to say simmer down right now. You’re going to get the chance to have your say at the end of this post.

But for now, the floor is MINE. And here it begins.

There are certain songs that are played on the radio that I get excited for no matter how many times I’ve heard them. I get all giddy and dancey and if I’m in my car I roll my windows down and turn the music up loud so everyone can hear the beauty of Sweet Home Alabama and therefore know just how cool I am. Yup. That’s me. I’m the one who is SUPERcool and I want you to KNOW it, guy standing at the bus stop. You’re a straight up asshole if you don’t love Sweet Home Alabama. And this is coming from someone who has an extensive collection of hardcore punk.

I have the same reaction to just about anything by John Cougar (not Mellancamp). THEN there are the songs you rarely hear on the radio which is a whole ‘nother stratosphere of music euphoria. For me that includes Ramones, Yaz, Elvis Costello, and all but one song from Talking Heads. (more on that later) I still get pretty pumped up over hearing Adele on the radio even though any sane person would be sick to death of that CD after playing it over and over and over and over and over and over at home. But I’m not.

I love every and all musical genres (with the exception of new country which I think should be called country for people whose soul was eaten by a sequin). Yes, I know, this is where a lot of you are getting irate. Listening to new country is like listening to a bunch of 15 year old suburban white boys sing the blues. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. I love Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Patsy Cline and the rest of them. I equally love singer songwriters, jazz, classical, and rap. I think Eminem is a genius and Japan was the most underrated band of the 70’s. I still love all the alternative music I listened to in the 80’s yet also have a special place in my heart for Michael Jackson. The last person I thought was a true musical genius was Amy Winehouse. The point of all of this is to let you know I love music. All of it. (with the exception of sequin cowboys and cowgirls … rhinestone cowboys on the other hand are A okay by me)

At this very moment I can barely get this post written because I’m listening to Prince’s Purple Rain and I’m pretty sure I’m actually channeling Prince. You know how that is. When a song is so good and you love it so much you feel that just by listening to it, maybe lip syncing or singing if you’re the type, YOU are the song. You feel every single emotion in the song. YOU are the champion, YOU won’t stop believin’, YOU are a tiny dancer, the walrus, the wrecking ball.

That’s the beauty of music. It connects us. It makes us feel in a way nothing else can.

Sometimes that feeling is rage.

If you’re me that feeling of rage might come about when you hear Rock Lobster by The B52s. If you’re me that song might make you want to Google Guantanamo Bay torture tactics. I wish I could take the one and only copy of it left on the planet and smash it into a million pieces, gather it up, burn it, then bury it. In an unmarked grave. Then I’d sit an elephant on top of it.

Songs that stir up similar rage in me are My House by Madness and Burning Down the House by Talking Heads. Both bands had so many songs that were so much better but for whatever reason these two were the most radio friendly I guess. They may be friends with radio but they are not friends with me.

So there you have it. The songs I hate and WISH someone would officially retire from radio play (and wedding play and bar play and bar mitzvah play and bat mitzvah play).

Now you get your chance. If you could retire a song from the radio forever and ever amen, which one would it be?

I’m curious and I don’t wanna miss a thing.

Have a good weekend!

302 Comments

  1. T2 says:

    All you have to do is turn on any “iHeart Radio” station and you’ll hear the most detestable songs – over and over and over again – day after day. I want to jam a sharpened pencil into each eardrum.
    My level of hatred for Madonna, Michael Jackson, Pink, Prince, and every other artist they’ve ruined for me is unmeasurable. I seethe every day, grinding my teeth. Oh – and the puss ballads by Chicago and Foreigner too.

  2. Ken MacAlister says:

    “Seven Nation Army” by The White Stripes! I am so sick of the endless chants of it’s stupid chord progression at sports events, especially college football, that I will watch many games with the sound off. Sports bands and stadium music directors have so thoroughly beaten people over the head with this stupid song that I just can’t take it anymore! STOP PLAYING THIS STUPID SONG!!!!!

  3. Kathy says:

    I know I am late to this ‘song’ party but after reading all the comments I have to add my most disliked so called song. Maybe it’s because of the holidays being near, but this reminded me of the one I really hate. ‘Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer’!! Gag me. A lady that I worked with long ago just loved that tune and called it her fave Christmas Carol. Hello??? That is not and never will be considered a ‘Christmas Carol’. Christmas Carols are Silent Night, O Holy Night, What Child is This and so on. So instead of listening to the radio for Christmas music; I play my wonderful Andrea Bocelli Sacred Arias and the Christmas album he made a few years ago; Johnny Mathis Christmas music must be played and the Nutcracker music. I also must play The Piano Guys; love Carol of the Bells / God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen. Rant over! Now back to browsing more of the new site look. By the way; I am really loving the new look. Great job Karen!! 😉

  4. Lilyka says:

    I think we may need a separate column for some of the most grueling music ever written: Christmas ditties. I love me some Winter Wonderland and Chestnuts Roasting, but if i ever hear Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, i start screaming loud enough to drown it out. It’s the only sane response.

  5. “Feelings”

    *shudders*

  6. Normandy says:

    I have a recurring nightmare…
    I’m in a Nursing Home, gagged and tied to the bed.
    They are piping in music over the sound system.
    It’s the Beatles…
    Don’t get me wrong, they wrote some great lyrics both as a group and individually. But at 65 I’ve heard them enough.Beatles Muzac…in the elevators? REALLY? It’s torture. Especially the early releases. Stop the elevator. NOW! Let me OFF!
    Just so you don’t think me insensitive, a Lennon song is forever one of the sweetest memories of my life.
    My husband held our just home born son and danced around the living room, singing with John Lennon to “beautiful Boy” Darling Boy. A six and a half foot man cradling a small newborn baby ~ it was magic…
    More touching since Lennon had just been murdered.

  7. Susan says:

    I agree that Amy Winehouse music is genius. Such a shame we didn’t hear more. Anyone out there like Brent Dennen. Great young singer songwriter. I bought his CD when I heard the song, The One Who Loves You the Most on a TV commercial and I can say I like every song on the album. I think we all dislike the music that was going out of vogue when we were taking an interest in music for the first time. I pretty much don’t like the new crooner craze. Dare I say Buble

  8. leslie says:

    Anything whiney (New Country, Whine Country, Black Crows, etc.). Can’t take Neil Diamond. Love Stevie Wonder (except for the Ebony and Ivory musical mishap that I’m sure Paul McCartney held a gun to his head to make him do).

  9. Sabina says:

    ABBA – I hate anything by ABBA…yet I know all the words to all the songs, talk about RAGE! LOL!!!

  10. Bonnie says:

    Tie a Yellow Ribbon

    Honey

    Achy Breaky Heart

    Three of the most horrible “songs” ever!

  11. Shannon says:

    Has nobody put the Marcarena????? I loathe that song and if I never hear it again it is too soon!

  12. Nancy says:

    I’m so late to this party, just back from vacation and had to voice my opinion if only to get it out to the universe.
    I cannot turn the channel fast enough for ANY Jewel song and especially You were meant for me.
    That whiney sad voice singing “break the yolks, make a smiley face”….jeez it’s hurting my teeth from saccharine already!
    Thank you, I feel almost better!

  13. Kari says:

    I am musically bipolar. I love all genres. I didn’t realize it until my friend put my iPod on shuffle at a party and it’s so random it’s embarrassing! I agree so hard about new country. I don’t know what their problem is. Besides some stuff by Kacey Musgraves and a few indie artists (Secret Sisters!) new country is gross. But yeah, for me, good music is good music. I like it all, bluegrass and punk, too. My Brain Is Hanging Upside Down is one of my favorite songs, actually.

  14. Donna says:

    One Tin Soldier…. but I LOVE Burning Down the House

    • Karen says:

      I kindda have a soft spot for One Tin Soldier, lol! ~ karen

      • Donna says:

        urgh.. blech! It’s treacle!
        … and thought of another… ‘I’m on top of the world, looking down on creation….’ Kill me now!! I’ts going to be in my head all day and I know all the words for some bizarre reason.
        ~d

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