Twinkle lights are the Dolly Parton of the lighting world. They're cheap, cheerful and in abundance at drag shows. Seriously, when in doubt ... add twinkle lights. Then add some more. That's what I did with the epicly troublesome hoop chair I bought a few weeks ago. To recap:
The chair wouldn't fit in my car.
Returned with truck, the chair was gone.
Chair was just on loan out of store for high profile photoshoot (which they didn't admit to, but I suspect was porn.)
Chair is supposed to return to store next day, doesn't. Chair has gone AWOL.
Chair returns to store 2 days late smelling of cigarettes and cheese.
Get chair home.
Spray paint cushion of chair in moment of Pinterest induced idiocy.
Throw out chair cushion cover, sue Pinterest, sew cushion, sit, relax, watch porn.
You can read the whole shebang in Part 1 of the epic tale, and Part 2.
With the basics of the chair done I could finally get around to doing what I wanted to do with the chair from the very beginning. Stand in it with my arms and legs spread while rolling down the street singing Mama Mia as loud as possible. Once I got that out of my system I did what my friend Marta suggested I do with the chair.
She said I should cover it in twinkle lights so it would be like sitting in a planetarium.
So I did.
Only I think of it as sitting under a constellation. This, in honour of Canada's Tragically Hip. Allow me to introduce you to the Star Chair. Known in Canada, as The Bobcaygeon.
See? Everything's better with twinkle lights. At first I only had one set on it. Then I added more. Because that's the twinkle light rule; if some is good, more is better. Like makeup. Or vodka.
Oh Marta. I owe you. I love it and I never would have thought of it. It's too much. I know it's too much. But like with Dolly, too much is just enough.
The lights are battery operated which I'm normally opposed to but this set passed all the tests.
- They use "C" cell batteries, not AA or AAA so they last a long time.
- The lights have a built in timer. Turn them on and they turn themselves off 4 hours later. Then they come on at the same time the next night.
- They're LED so the bulbs last forever.
They're the kind of teeny, tiny lights on copper wire that you can bend and mould to go in any direction you want. I just wrapped them around the chair and squished them in place. Anywhere they didn't seem to want to squish I just added a squirt of glue. The instant kind that inevitably glues your fingers together giving you an entire night's worth of entertainment as you try to pick it off of your fingers without picking off your actual skin.
Again, if you want the same lights this 2 pack by Kohree were the best ones I could find.
The chair is a hit with everyone who has seen it and sat in it.
Wondering about why I call it The Bobcageon? That's thanks to The Tragically Hip's iconic song.
"It was in Bobcaygeon where I saw the constellations reveal themselves one star at a time."
That's exactly what it feels like to be in this chair at night. In the middle of a constellation. I may not have a cottage in Bobcaygeon. Or Gord Downie melting at the sight of me. But I do have my very own constellation.
Karen, I love you and your writing but also the links to the original Saga of the Woven Half-Watermelon Chair of Indeterminate Color are broken and since the whole thing is literary gold, I thought I'd gently nudge you to restore them for those among the internet brethren not as familiar with the Wayback Machine as I. Give us back the Saga of the Chair, lady. You owe it to posterity.
Also, I've been meaning to hunt down a couple of these bastards since I was able to curl my entire body into one and swipe at passersby in comfort.
Sincerely,
Definitely Not A Cat
Just discovered your blog 2 days ago, signed up for your newsletter. 2nd article in I see this post at the bottom of the page. When I saw "constellations " and "Bobcaygen", I knew it had to be a reference to The Hip! 💛
Good job as usual Karen. Love the chair and I live not far Bobcaygeon. I need one of these chairs
Love the chair!!
Years ago I had a stuffed toy golden retriever that was too cute! About 18" so not tiny. Displayed cute stuffed golden retriever on bookcase shelf. Wanted to make even more cute. Wrapped little sparkly lights around head, neck, body. So cute. After about an hour of this cuteness there was a funky burnt smell and it began to smoke. Yup, golden retriever had multiple burn holes. So glad I was able to rescue pup. I haven't felt ok around tiny sparkly lights since,,,
There are definitely some advantages to living in a border town. I didn't know until recently that most of the U.S. doesn't know about The Hip or bloody Caesars. I really want that chair! Well done!
You are just too cool...
I really can't recall this level of genuine enthusiasm for something so ridiculously "Dolly Parton" over-the-top goopy-goofy-ridiculous. What happened to your personal too-cool-to-care 'tude that we've all come to know as "authentic Karen"?
Sigh.
Let me know when you have returned to "All I care about are my chickens and my community garden share tomatoes which are twice as tall as yours, MartiJ, so bite it!" eh? Or maybe... yeah, I'll probably read whatever you have to say anyway. :)
I'm thinking about adding twinkle lights to my dog's crate😂 Love the chair!❤
Thanks Rachel. I'm pretty fond of it too. :) ~ karen!
Perfect, absolutely perfect
Thank you Karen for writing this . . . beautifully done. Your posts usually make me smile or laugh. This one? A quiet tear.
Oh wow... that is perfection!
https://www.bradsdeals.com/deals/hanging-egg-chair-with-stand-265-shipped-p309671?c_id=2158&u_id=21898207&d=071617&utm_source=email&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=bradsdeals.Daily_Newsletter_Female_07162017&u_g=f&v=dd_8
Look what I found........
Your CHAIR could have a "lover" AND make BABY eggs.....😜
LOVE the twinkle......and you
Have a great day
Karen
I'm not sure if that is a baby? Is it? I wonder ... if it is much smaller maybe I could fit it in my living room! ~ karen
There's an ache in the beauty of a summer night, isn't there? 'Bobcaygeon' captures it, so does your chair. It was outside in my backyard last night as the fireflies danced in the dark. So fleeting.
Thanks for the excellent Epic post. I was seriously laughing out loud for hours after Part 1. Made my husband read it too. He laughed in all the right places. Bought two orders of those fairy lights from your link. Thanks for the great deal!
Love the chair and really appreciate you introducing me to Tragically Hip - REALLY loved that song. The lyrics are written by a genius! I went on the click on Last Song and heard just plain real people singing it filmed all over Canada. What is the story - it was so sad and people were so moved. Did they quit producing, die, or was it just a song? I keep my twinkle lights up for months wrapped around a collection of angels that sit in a 1 foot tall, 8 foot wide window that is above my headboard - so I don't need to cover it at night. It makes me feels so good. I just really wish I could buy the twinkling kind again. Seems they just make whole strands that flick off then on instead of individual lights randomly flipping off and on. Now they are more like dying neon lights instead of twinkling fairy flickers. Don't need the dying neon's in my bedroom window! Not the type of advertising I appreciate.
Look at Christmas time - I bought some last year to use for the summer.
Does each light twinkle or just the whole string flash on and off? Do you know the brand? Would love to get some.
Hi Mary W, the Hip are a quintessential Canadian band, much beloved by their fans. In 2016, the leader, Gord Downie, was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. A possibly final concert was held last summer in Kingston with the event broadcast across the country. Gord has continued to inspire Canadians with his courage and advocacy for the rights of our indigenous peoples. This year he and the band members are recipients of the "Order of Canada".
I assume "whole shebang" is the name of the porn you watched?
PS: you spelled hole wrong.
Snort. 😏
I love that song. It just reminds me of cottage country. Your chair is awesome.
The song is very nice, love the video too. I wikid Bobcaygeon, a real place with population of 3525. LOVE the chair too, lights are great. I can see that at night you would feel like you were in a constellation. Well done my friend, well done.
Yup Bobcaygeon is a couple of hours from where I live. It's a little cottage town basically. ~ karen!
FABULOUS! Now I have a new obsession to strive for, thanks a lot, lol!