Strawberry plant decoys

I’ve never had much luck growing strawberries.  Mainly I think it’s because I’ve never planted them.  I’m not saying I’ve never had strawberry plants in my possession but I’ve never actually planted them.  A couple of years ago I had some that a neighbour gave me but I just sort of sat them on top of the soil and thought about planting them until they died, at which point I felt a huge amount of relief because now I could just throw them into the compost bin which seemed way easier than planting them.

Last year I did plant some strawberries but it was late in the season so I didn’t get any fruit from them and any flowers that did form I pinched off to make stronger plants for this year.  The few berries that did form had curious looking holes in them.  Bite marks I suppose you’d call them.  So no go on eating those. For me anyway.

This year I have committed to actually growing strawberries, taking care of them and making them into jam which I will then smear on bread, crumpets, and my tongue.

P.S. and also my fingers.

P.S.S. I know you’re supposed to leave the P.S. until the end of whatever you’re saying because it’s an afterthought.  But this was an afterthought to my previous thought so as far as I’m concerned is perfectly acceptable.

If I was going to call this year THE YEAR OF THE EXPLOSIVE STRAWBERRY PATCH THAT ATE THE WORLD I was going to have to figure out how to a) grow them and b) keep them for myself.

So the first thing I did was put them in a HUGE container that keeps them off the ground and away from whatever is in my garden that has teeth.

This planter is from my pals at Lee Valley (who I write for). It’s meant for other things I think, but it works perfectly as a huge strawberry planter.





And look. I’m already successful.  I have strawberries.




Did I fool you?  I’m hoping I did.  If not then I’m hoping I can at least fool animals with brains the size of a grape seed.  Apparently, and I’ve never tried this before, but if you put out some decoy strawberries before your real strawberries ripen you can confuse all things with mouths.


All you have to do is paint some small rocks red and set them in with the strawberries. Now, I’ve seen people do this where they actually paint the rocks to look with strawberries, with little seeds and a bit of white near the top. I did not do that. It’s the sort of thing I’d love to do but I had to use my time wisely on rock painting day because I had a very important appointment with the last 5 episodes of Empire that night. Which I needed to be rested for of course otherwise I’d fall asleep during them.



What happens is the birds or moles or voles or passing neighbours mistake the red rocks for actual strawberries and break a tooth. Or a beak. At the very least they  get disturbed at the low quality of produce in this section of the garden, so they make a mental note to not waste their time coming back. When the REAL strawberries grow in, the offending bird, mole, vole or neighbour skips them thinking they are also not worth biting into.

And that my friends is how I’m going to make this THE YEAR OF THE EXPLOSIVE STRAWBERRY PATCH THAT ATE THE WORLD.

If my decoys work I may also be making this THE YEAR OF THE EXPLOSIVE DENTAL BILLS FOR MY NEIGHBOURS.

You’ve been warned.

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  1. Becky says:

    I did this. I did the seeds, and leaves at the top. They were so believable, that I totally fooled the UPS man, and he tried to pick one of my berries.
    The confused look on his face was priceless…. I never lost a berry to a critter. Only to the rolly polly bugs. bastards.

    • gayle woodworth says:

      I painted little rocks to look like strawberries too! (Gotta love Pinterest). It took some time, but they
      look completely real too.

  2. Ardith says:

    You and Becky are priceless, and kindred spirits. Thank you for making my day, uh, rather evening.

  3. Robert says:

    This sounds like a very interesting year. I hope you get huge strawberries, export quality of course 😀

  4. barbee says:

    Just saw this same thing on fb. Wouldn’t have helped with our dog Jack, who was blind but could find every single berry

    • Karin says:

      I just had to comment – I just lost my Jack, the blind dog. He could find anything, anywhere if it was edible.

  5. Edith says:

    Hi Karen,

    I’m dealing with this very problem right now. It’s my first time growing strawberries here in Texas. I’ve got them off the ground in planters but each and every one of my juicy red strawberries has been poked, drilled, gnawed or otherwise mutilated. I guess it’s too late for this year, but I’ll remember this trick for next year.

  6. Tanya says:

    in year 3 of trying strawberries on my south facing apartment patio ( aka the burner)I finally have a couple berries that are looking like they might actually be edible! Might be too late for the decoys but what a great idea.

    Thank you again for making me laugh and giving me information I can use. I love your writing!

  7. Laura says:

    This isn’t really a comment. It’s just a rock painted to look like a comment. I hope you don’t break your tooth on it!!

  8. Barbie says:

    What a GREAT idea! Never heard of that before. I am going to do that this year!

  9. Mindy says:

    Really? Does it work? According to the internets, I mean. I had an almost ripe strawberry last week. First one of the season. Went to check on it for the three-year old today. I was going to be nice and give it to her. Instead, she learned how to say, Bastards, really loud. Slug, bird, or squirrel, whichever one stole it is a bastard.

    • Karen says:

      LOL! Dunno if it’s going to work. The Internet says it does but the Internet is a big fat liar, so that’s why I’m trying it out. I know just a jumble of bird netting over the plants will help but it’s also stupid ugly, so I wanted to try this method. ~ karen!

  10. Debbie says:

    What I have used is black plastic on the ground with the plant sticking out. No slugs this way. Net on top to keep the birds and stupid people out.

  11. Stephanie Hobson says:

    When I was about the age of Mindy’s child my mother tried to grow strawberries. She couldn’t figure out what (who) was getting them before she could. It was me! I also ate the leaves off of her two rose bushes – they tasted like lemon. Unfortunately they didn’t survive.

  12. Marna says:

    LOL! Cleaver idea! I used to have a large strawberry patch in Arizona, only had to worry about my dogs digging in it, not eating anything. Here in Texas I don’t have much luck, I guess between the weather and creepy crawlies and critters, no luck. Same things happens to most of the garden areas. I have tried netting, which helps.

  13. IRS says:

    Karen, while I would never question the wisdom of your matching wits with slugs, bugs, and other assorted vermin, I am rather surprised that this method works. The whole method relies entirely on said vermin’s ability to remember, but I am very skeptical that anything with a brain the size of a grape seed has a better memory than your average goldfish, whose memory has been estimated to last all of 4 seconds. Then again, I should shut up, since I have spent the last half hour looking for my keys. In any case, I will try this method, since I also have been unable to produce any “unsampled” berries. P.S. LOVE Lee Valley. Their catalogue is garden porn. I think I will pay them a visit today, and traumatize my credit card.

    • judy says:

      traumatize my credit card.!!!!!!This is going to be my Mantra from now on. I will no longer go forth and wreck each months budget. I will think of my Credit Cards as dear little helpers being severely traumatized by my overuse of their talent for raising me to the heights of Acquisition fever and the depths of despair that what gets charged must then be YIKES!!!paid back. Reality-ain’t it a Bi**ch!

      • Julie says:

        “Dear little helpers” LOL…I’m using that! Btw I once knew someone who actually considered her available credit to be her bank balance!

        • IRS says:

          Ha! Your friend who thinks her credit limit is her bank balance is still smarter than the credit card industry. A person’s FICO score rules their financial existence, yet the way it’s calculated is ludicrous. I recently had my credit limit on one of my cards cut in half – because I wasn’t using it enough. You would think that would be good, yet it caused my FICO score to drop. The ants and squirrels and bugs who eat your strawberries are brilliant compared to the financial services bunch. OK, back to gardening,

    • Karen says:

      Oh, animals have a fantastic ability to memorize and remember things. Especially related to food or things that hurt/bother them. Just look at squirrels. They bury their walnuts etc., all over the place and then can go right back to wherever it was in the late winter or spring to find them. They stand up on their haunches to look around and get their bearings and can then zero right in on where they buried something months ago. Slugs? Not so much. ~ karen!

      • IRS says:

        Sorry, Karen, but I have to take issue with you about squirrels. Throughout spring and summer, I coexist quite peacefully with them, and even find their babies adorable. But in late summer through the fall, I start to loathe those glorified rats with couture tails, with the intensity of a thousand suns. It’s because those four legged little morons think that every one of my many &@$! pots and planters has an acorn in it, and they dig them all up. They damage plants, and scatter soil everywhere. Then the next day, whether or not I have cleaned up after them, they dig the same pots all over again. Bastards! They are the animal world equivalent of the person who wanders around looking for their glasses, while wearing them on their head.

        • IRS says:

          Hmmmmph! I played the video, and my conclusions are as follows:
          1) The squirrel in that video must have come from the yard of Stephen Hawking, or some similarly brilliant person. MY squirrels, on the other hand, arrive for work every morning at my yard, in the short bus.
          2) Alternately, my squirrels are sadistic bastards who amuse themselves by digging in my pots, just so they can sit on top of my fence, watch the vein in my forehead throb, and laugh their furry asses off.

        • Karen says:

          LOL!!! ~ karen

        • amyfaith says:

          It’s definitely #2. I have the cousins of your squirrels in my yard and I hate them with the fury of a thousand white hot suns.

        • Becky says:

          I put plastic forks in my planters. They are buried juuust under the surface of the soil, pointy side up. the critters won’t dig because they poke themselves. I havne’t lost a planter in years.

          My Grandma had a mourning dove using one of her planters as a nest, and the forks worked for her too.

  14. Ann says:

    Love Lee Valley….

    We have the occasional bad berries, but our issue is with ants and I don’t think they give a flip about painted rocks. I am sure many bugs find their way to the berries by smell, which I think they do with their feet. My philosophy in general is to be able to grow enough of something that we can share with the birds, bugs and still have enough for us. It has worked so far for our strawberries, blueberries and Scarlet Goumi’s. Last year we had to net the goumi’s but this year the mockingbirds are leaving plenty for us, plus some.

  15. Jack Ledger says:

    What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry? If you weren’t so sweet, we wouldn’t be in this jam!

    What a sad response to such a brilliant blog but it is all I have this morning.

  16. Janet says:

    I tried growing strawberries one year (in pots so they’d be off the ground) and squirrels ate almost every one of the berries so I’ve never bothered again. I hope you have better luck!

  17. Tim says:

    I’m allergic to strawberries, to the point of anaphylaxis (yes your produce could KILL me dead!!!) so I’ll take the decoys! 😉

  18. Mary W says:

    I have five strawberry plants that keep growing and having babies, even though I do nothing. No water, weeding, fertilizer, NEVER poison. They are for my granddaughter and she manages to get about 2 or 3 every day for about a month. Some have been eaten and she is learning to throw for T-ball with those. Mostly she just loves finding things to eat outside and always asks first. They are planted in my flower bed with some mint, sage, basil, a fig tree and hog plum tree. One year I got enough plums for jam but this year -too much rain (so sorry California!). I’ve shown her which to eat, which to smell, which to pick, and which to never touch. By 4 she was eating cherry tomatoes, chives, dill, stevia, mint, etc. and could tell the weeds to pull. The deer are in our yard but don’t eat as much as the squirrels do. I just try to have a little for everyone. What do squirrel do for us anyway? – there must be some good besides eating them. Learning acrobatic tricks? Cat food? Cute only goes so far. Strawberries are now almost done for this year here in Florida. I love to paint rocks and just let them lay in the garden for fun. All kinds – stripes, stars, circles, words, faces. Sadie helps paint those also. You can see my garden is just for fun.

    • Karen says:

      I always wonder about planting stevia. Do you use it kind of like a sweet thing on top of cakes? Or … how do you use it? I’m not a huge fan of it as a sugar replacement because even though it’s sweet it tastes like licorice. Which I love. Just not in my peanut butter cookies. So. Is the plant just grown for fun for you? Or do you actually use it somehow? ~ karen!

      • Mary W says:

        It is SO sweet that just a nibble is enough. I don’t even eat the leaves, just sort of mush it around in my mouth then spit it out. If you bite down, it is just overwhelming. So maybe if it were steeped then used as a sweetener? I just love having something different to nibble when in the tiny garden with Sadie. It freezes and doesn’t come back – or at least if it did, I didn’t recognize it and pulled it out. End of my stevia journey. The best way to eat it in the garden is in a mint leaf sandwich (tiny bit of stevia) to a whole lot of mint and that was a very fun treat. Extent of my stevia knowledge.

      • Cred says:

        For those that do use it as a sugar sub, you can harvest and dry it and grind into a powder. Or just a leaf added to a pot of tisane or tea. If you grow in pots, it can be brought in for winter. Very poor germinator so I bought a plant from a CSA who did the hard part.
        I don’t like it much as a substitute for the aftertaste, too. But it’s not bad in tea. Mostly I grow it for fun.

      • Becky says:

        I think you can soak the leaves, like making extract, and use it as a liquid.

  19. jaine gayer says:

    Karen, you crack me up and I wish you luck with the strawberries. As for me and mine, I’m just going to go to a farm and pick their strawberries but of course I will use your strawberry jam recipe that I just know you will be posting.

  20. Jody says:

    Let me get this straight. Duck decoys bring in ducks. Strawberry decoys scare off vermin. Who knew? What does a man decoy do?

  21. Karol says:

    I recently visited a u-pick blueberry field with a friend and for the first time ever saw a “propane cannon”. This field had six of them scattered about, and they go off alternately about every 45 seconds with a shotgun blast noise to scare of predators. Ha! Good one… the birds didn’t even flinch, but we did. My ears are still ringing, although we were able to pick 16 pounds of berries in an hour.
    I hope your red rocks work better! Good luck, Karen.

  22. Sherry (BTLover2) says:

    I’ll be very curious to see how things turn out for you. I bought two strawberry plants last year (which morphed into many more). They have all been planted into pots. I have some strawberries this year but they are all very small and deformed. I need to find out what that’s all about (any ideas?). I’ve picked the few that were ripe, and though not real pretty, tasty. I hope you have tremendous success and share all your tips with us, the little people.

    • Anne says:

      For Sherry re your small deformed berries – it’s often due to poor pollination early in the season. Yes, they are tasty but small and warty. This happens to apples too. I don’t know what you can do about it other than encourage bees and hope for dry weather when the plants are in bloom.

  23. ~JackieVB says:

    We’re at the height of strawberry season here in Virginia – I’ve had pretty good luck with them this year, only lost a few to ants and slugs so far. I’ve never tried pinching the flowers off for more vigorous growth, I guess I’m just too impatient to lose a season for that!

  24. Olivia says:

    More importantly…. I love those pots! What are they called? I can’t find them on the Lee Valley site.

  25. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    I saw those pots at an Amish greenhouse recently..I was thinking about getting one for an herb garden..they look perfect for strawberry plants..I never had any luck with strawberries..maybe if it works for you I will try again next Spring..Good luck!

  26. Patty says:

    We use the same pots to grow our strawberries. We stack them on poles and have liquid fertilizer fed to them twice a day. We plant them in coconut fiber which helps cut down on the bugs. We also have a tier strawberry bed in which the plants are in a sandy soil. Due to its location we usually cover that one with netting. We run into the problem of ants but a couple of ant traps seem to fix it.

  27. Melissa in North Carolina says:

    I’m with Olivia, where can we find info on the pots!!!

    Cute post!!!

  28. Melissa says:

    Great idea for birds, but my issue are the damn rolly pollys. Smash them all to hell.
    I’ve also heard that putting rock/ceramic eggs in the nesting box is a good way to break the egg eating habit, because the hens hurt their beak when trying to peck one open, and then give up on the rest of them. Supposivly.

  29. Cred says:

    I’m going to give these decoys a go. I only have a couple of potted strawberries but it’s chipmunks not slugs that get mine, so I’m hopeful this will work.
    Btw, I saw similar stacking pots in dollarama for $3 each. They are exactly like ones I’d seen online, for at least double that price, designed for growing strawberries but the shipping was prohibitive.
    When I saw your pots in a previous post I was waiting patiently to see what you did wih them. Now, I have to see if they still have them. Yours are a much nicer colour- dollarama’s are a lovely plastic terra cotta but better suited to my budget.

  30. Nancee says:

    I’ll be honest, I didn’t go through all of the comments on this piece. But I hope someone told you that those darling little roly polys, aka pill bugs, the ones that roll into cute little balls when you touch them lightly, eat strawberries to the stem.
    Yes, thousands of pill bugs will swarm a strawberry patch, mate and reproduce, and all of the family will feast on your strawberries.
    I had about 50 strawberry plants at one time. The previous years I had a steady supply of organic strawberries picked the morning I ate them.
    The next season, all of my berries were eaten by this horde of pill bugs, roly polys, doodle bugs.
    I’ve never looked at the the same since.
    Oh, P.S. There aren’t any organic methods to control pill bugs except to stand there early in the morning and pick them out and throw them in the compost bin, where they will live happily everafter. Little buggers.

    • Eva says:

      I heard cinnamon would keep the pill bugs away. I haven’t tried it but I’m hopeful. The ones we have here in Arizona don’t even roll into balls. The one redeeming quality of the dumb things and the ones in my yard don;t even do it. Rude.

      • Nancee says:

        I would guess you have sow bugs then. They are like cousins, but not the same. And they eat just about anything. That’s their job in this live, and great in a compost pile. When the compost pile gets hot, they move to the outside where they can still chew things into smaller pieces for smaller microorganisms.
        (I researched these arthropods for an article. It was very interesting.)

      • susan says:

        I use cinnamon to keep ants away, but didn’t know it helped with other bugs. I get the largest container I can find, at warehouse outlet or restaurant supply stores.
        Between the cinnamon and cocoa bean mulch, my garden smells lovely after a rain! 🙂

        I have heard also that red Christmas ornament bulbs (not glass due to breakage, of course) also work as decoys for tomatoes. Never tried it, though.

  31. A guy says:

    All the guys I know who visit “Theartofdoingstuff” are not commitment-phobic-do-nothing-slugs.

    P.S. Just saying.

    • Karen says:

      It’s the exact same joke I would have made this year, last year or 10 years ago. Don’t read too much into it. ~ karen!

  32. anne says:

    Looks like you will have a bumper crop of berries. I tried last year didn’t do well, however I do love homemade strawberry jam…so I buy them , freeze them and in November when cranberries are in I make a “Christmas Jam” with them.

  33. janpartist says:

    Hey-did you switch from Mon, Wed, Fri to Tue, Thur posts???? Curious minds want to know.

    • A guy says:

      I think Monday was a holiday (Victroia Day) in Canada and Karen may have taken the day off.

      Today is Wednesday, isn’t it?

      • janpartist says:

        Today is Wednesday, indeed! But, I was referring to the dates on the last posts which were the 14 and this one which is the 19. So, I thought maybe she was switching up again. Maybe it is just a holiday thing. What do I know of Canada, except I have traveled there and it’s beautiful!

  34. Suzanne says:

    Fat finger problem…
    Second try to post.
    Don’t know if this works on dirt, but synthetic sweetener (chemical) will keep ants away. The scuttlebutt is that that’s what saccharine was originally invented to do. They take it back to their nests, but when they eat it, they explode. Works on counter tops in Muskoka…

  35. IRS says:

    Karen, I have a question for you. In the last photo, you have a potted plant next to your strawberries. Do you know what that plant is called? I have one in a hanging planter that hung from a tree branch last summer. The tree shaded it, plus the location only gets a bit of morning sun anyway, yet the plant still suffered from sunburned and bleached leaves. It wasn’t fertilizer burn, since I’m way too lazy to feed anything but myself. I took it in for the winter, and it is still recovering. Since I see that you have it next to your strawberries, and they like lots of sun, I was wondering why my version of the same plant hated sun. I would love to know what it is called, so I don’t have to call it “Vampire Plant”, and I can look up it’s care.

  36. Janet says:

    Karen, check out my strawberry canning experience and you probably won’t worry so much if you have more than a few berries, trust me, I haven’t done it since.

    • IRS says:

      Janet, that all sounds perfectly awful. I don’t make jam because I’m too lazy, it has far too much sugar in it, you need way too much crap, er, equipment for it, and did I mention I’m lazy? But I do love strawberries, so I just bought a Vitamix. I figure that anything I enjoy eating can first be frozen, then pulverized into ice cream-ish goodness. And you can add a generous dash of booze, which I don’t think would work in jam.

  37. Molly says:

    Just found your website and it’s the most entertaining, informative and inspirational DIY I’ve ever seen. Your wit and writing are a joy and I look forward to it with my morning latte.

    THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Mike says:

    What a novel idea!! I should have done this long ago when I planted my first garden and all I got was weeds. I could have painted the weeds to look like vegetables and people would have thought I planted a real garden. No kidding though, this is a great idea. Thanks again for a great blog!

    • Karen says:

      Well … I have still to determine whether or not it works. I will keep you and everyone else updated. ~ karen!

  39. Mindykin says:

    I had high hopes that your decoy strawberries were the wild strawberry weeds that have taken over my (real) strawberry patch, and that you were going to tell me how to eradicate them. Pulling, spraying, and burying with mulch have not worked; I am now considering a blow torch. If I ever get rid of the weeds and coax the real strawberries back to production, I will make decoy strawberries to deter the bunnies–but since they only eat the real ones, not the weed ones, they may be able to discern the difference between rocks and real ones, too. Maybe I should just go buy berries at the Amish farm down the street…

  40. SK Farm Girl says:

    Totally diggin your ride there sista; freakin cool broom – love it! What’s the skinny on it?!?!

  41. Carol says:

    Hi Karen
    I have had tremendous luck at growing sweet potato sprouts and rooting them as you described in a post a few months ago. I have not seen your post on planting and harvesting them. My rooted sprouts are waiting patiently in their rooting water glass on my kitchen counter along with the 3 sweet potatoes in their sprouting water glasses. The last frost should be soon and I would really like to regain some space on the kitchen counter (under a corner southwest facing window where my orchids also love growing).

    My friend Larraine introduced me to your blog which I love. I am something of a kindred spirit but not so energetic as I am quite a bit older now.

    Looking forward to your reply

    Thanks, Carol

  42. terri says:

    Got lucky today: clicked the wrong button and got your home page! Obeisance to Lee Valley for that. I LOVE Lee Valley!
    I have now spent over an hour enjoying all your links and lots of comments, and have pondered wisecracking several times, but it’s time to drink the last cup in the carafe and get started on my day full of haftas. Can’t resist, though,wowing everybody with one of my clever ideas to block the slugs (Oregon’s State Mascot) — (Oregon’s State Flower is moss, by the way) — from stealing, or leaving slime all over, my strawberries. Mine are planted in a half-barrel sitting on bricks. I mined the world of stuff in the garage and came up with copper wire, which I simply affixed to the outside of the barrel. Once around. This is my strawberry barrel’s third year with no invasions! Another clever invention that I devised in 2008 was plastic tubing between the sides of the kitchen range and the counters. Forget those plastic “covers” the catalogs sell. Just measure the width of the crack, get about 5 feet of the tubing and cram it in there. No drips, eggwhite trails, crumbs, etc. have yet made it past the tubing. And it’s almost invisible! Back in 2008 I sent this idea with photos to The Family Handyman magazine but they didn’t use it. About 5 years later, long after I’d quit subscribing, I saw it in one of their magazines, with a different picture — but it was MY invention! I wrote saying “Where’s the $100 I was supposed to get in 2008?” but now it’s owned by Reader’s Digest and they ignored me. >sob< I have lots of other cool ideas. My favorite is the 3"x 5"sign by the doorbell that has restored peace to my porch. I haven't had any solicitations since I put it up a year and a half ago. Hell, I'm almost 83 and I need my nap!!! I guess whoever wants to can make one. Here's the text:

    I am not in the market for anything you might be selling, preaching, or needing, and that includes carpet cleaning, financial help, “The Word,” new siding, my vote, cookies or candy, and I don’t drink anything out of aluminum cans, so I don't have any for you. If I know you, you can arrange by phone to visit. Otherwise, just go away quietly.
    Thank you.
    So keep up the good work with your stellar advice!!!

    The old broad with the bitchy resting face

  43. Olga says:

    There is no way this will work! lol I have being growing strawberries for 2 years now, and the 1st year is the only time when we actually could try the few berries that we got. This year we got way more strawberries, and we got 0 to eat, because between, roly polys, birds and probably mice our strawberry plants can’t keep up…and we can’t keep up with strawberry eaters. Urgh, I was debating if I should just dig them out and forget about growing em again, but now I definitely going to try red rock trick first. Thanks.

  44. Gail says:

    Bird netting!! Wrapped the blossoming plants with bird netting and put rocks to hold down so squirrels cannot get in….

    • Karen says:

      Hi Gail. I know technically bird netting works but it’s so horrible to look at and tangly. I’m experimenting with other things that might work as an alternative. ~ karen!

  45. cheryl seals says:

    KARENn Priceless that the UPS man tried one, that’s what he get for stealing berries ! Will be trying this as i have a alot of deer thaat think my yard is their own personal berrie patch..Will see how this works with them, an i’ll let ya know…

  46. ronda says:

    I’m playing catch-up with all the older posts, so just found this one. Love the Lee Valley strawberry pots! Will have to get one for next year. Too late for this summer.

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