Take Your Hand OFF That Pumpkin Spice Candle Right Now.

I have what I think might be an alarming and confusing message for you all.

It is not fall.

So just take your hand off the pumpkin spice candle and BACK AWAY.

That’s right.  Keep going.  Light the lemongrass one.

Honestly.  Why are we all such dingbats about this?  We dream of summer, long for summer, write poems about summer but once it’s here we think You Know What?  I really like flannel.  I want to put on my damn flannel.  Why, WHY, WHY summer, are you holding my flannel hostage.  Then around the middle of August people snap and start lighting apple pie candles and wrapping themselves in sheepskin rugs. While wearing flip flips.

IF YOU ARE STILL SCRATCHING MOSQUITO BITES IT’S TOO EARLY TO DECORATE WITH PUMPKINS.

It’s going to come.  Actual fall.  On September 22nd in the Northern Hemisphere as a matter of fact.  But that’s just a date.  Fall might come earlier or it might come later.

I understand retailers have muddied the waters a bit and many of us have actually lost our natural, seasonal compasses. It happens.

So in case you’re a bit iffy on when it’s actually fall here are some tips.

10 No-Fail Signs It’s Fall.

  1. Instagram is filled with shots of people pretending they’re happily picking apples even though they just had a huge fight in the car on the way to the orchard and never even thought of picking apples before the invention of Instagram.
  2. Costco is sold out of all their Christmas wrapping paper.
  3. You drop kick the hanging baskets you stopped watering 3 months ago into the garbage.
  4. You dip into your pajama drawer for the warm ones and they have that drawer smell.
  5. You stop shaving above the knee.  And below the knee. Bully through the week of itchiness then happily revel in skin that feels like a plushie for 6 months.
  6. You start to forget your neighbours’ names again.
  7. You spend 4 nights in a row Pinning wintery craft things like whimsical cross stitch patterns you’ll never actually do because – binge watching season.
  8. Your hair is staticky and you broke a nail making the bed.
  9. You realize yet again, you look dorky, not adorable in hats.
  10. Black nail polish.

O.K. so  now that you feel more comfortable in recognizing the season of fall on your own, you can enjoy this last long weekend of the summer.

Enjoy it, do something summery, eat a hamburger, skateboard on a boardwalk, get sprayed by a skunk.

Just back away from the pumpkin spiced candle.

Have a good last long weekend of the summer.

 

 

 

 

 

→Follow me on Instagram where I’m sure to go apple picking.←

 

Take Your Hand OFF That Pumpkin Spice Candle Right Now.

64 Comments

  1. Lynn says:

    I am with Karen each season in it’s time. Here in Alberta it’s been nuts this year with weather swings 30+ one day next day lucky to get 15+ , yesterday here it home at night it got to 6+ an only up to 16 during the day. Little or no rain till this last week I feel so sorry for the trees they have been prematurely turning slowly for the last month an a half in my area.
    As for the stores well they have always tried their best to grab everyone’s money as soon as they can . It is getting very very stupid though I have to say. Oh how I wish for the good old days , when they didn’t do that. Thank god we cut the cable so we don’t have to see all those dang commercials.

  2. Shelagh says:

    Kids go back to school
    There’s heavy dew on the Adirondack chairs
    Sun is setting earlier
    Single digits overnight last night ( Celsius )
    Starlings are gathering in flocks

    ITS LATE SUMMER

  3. Karen says:

    It seems that at the beginning of every school year, the temps soar to record levels. To my kids, back to school clothes shopping always meant new shorts, cotton tops and sleeveless attire while everyone else it seemed was hurrying to buy sweaters, corduroy and flannel … like they wouldn’t be able to find any of that in October or November!!

  4. Kelly says:

    My favorite sign of fall is the apple picking pics on instagram. Spot-on! Down here in Richmond Virginia, the humidity capital of the world, Hobby Lobby stores put Christmas stuff out in July. Insanity!

  5. Jenny says:

    I love fall but winter lasts so long in Northern Iowa/Southern Minnesota that I’m in no hurry to say goodbye to summer! I don’t mind the slightly cooler weather we’ve had this last week, but I need to wring out the last bits of enjoyment from our patio and playing outside with our baby!

  6. Cheryl says:

    My husband pushes summer beyond anyone else I know-last year he was in for a swim in the North Atlantic on Nov 25!!!!
    Cooler nights are nice for sleeping but I will not rush the end of my favourite season either.

  7. Meg says:

    It was around 100 in Boston this week, puke. Oh, do you use Centigrade? Probs. It was 37+ with high humidity. (Heat index/how it felt – 108F/42C ) While I can barely contain my excitement for the upcoming fall, I certainly have no mistake that it isn’t here yet! haha

    • Karen says:

      It was the same here a couple of days ago. 40 degrees C and that was WITHOUT the humidity. I kill myself laughing when people say to me “You’re from Canada. It’s cold there, right?”. ~ karen!

  8. Julia says:

    Karen-my sweet dingbat of a cat got sprayed by a skunk directly on her face last week . It was the worst ! Let’s not joke about skunk spray.

  9. Sabina says:

    #ilovesummer #beachbum #foreversummer 😎☀️🏝 #babypleasedontgo

  10. lisaMC says:

    Fall? We still have FIREFLIES twinkling at night–for real–and I live in NY.
    (The state not the city for all you USA-ians who don’t realize that New York is a big ash state extending all the way to the Karenian border, with real people living there–as long as you ignore the pilfering zombies in our infamous capitol, Albany.)
    But seriously–FIREFLIES???
    It is not Fall. Also because I haven’t canned a single jar of anything. Not. A. Single. Jar.
    Proof.

  11. p says:

    i heart you!

    i don’t heart summer, however. unless i’m in Alaska, which feels like December in Kentucky. what candle do you recommend i burn in September?

    • Eileen says:

      how about the one that smells of school supplies?
      : )
      Laughing about the no pumpkins until no mosquito bites…I guess that’d mean none here until around end of November. I guess they’d be cheaper then?
      And can I just add selling chrysanthemums in the August heat to that list of execrables?

      • Karen says:

        Yes! That ALSO makes me crazy!! Nothing more depressing than walking into a grocery store and they’ve lined the entire outside of it with mums for sale in the middle of August. ~ karen!

  12. Linda says:

    I love Autumn, too. When my hair doesn’t stick to my forehead and sweat is not dripping down my back, I will think about all those good fall coziness things. And…this really puts the brakes on fall decor…I know that I replace my fall look with Christmas tidings. I will eat on the porch until I see my breath and will know I have done justice to this summer season.

  13. Heather says:

    Guilty, as charged! Yesterday I said to my husband, “I’m sad summer is over.” He was adamant that it is not over, and encouraged me to go for a swim, telling me, “The water is still 28 degrees!” I jumped in and all of a sudden it was summer all over again. I won’t think fall again until the leaves change colour.

  14. Kari in Dallas says:

    Drawer smell. Nailed it.

  15. Marie Anne says:

    Yes! Yes! Yes! I am always fighting this battle with everyone around me! They’re the same people who wish its Friday on Monday, and complain about the weekend being over at noon on Sunday. No wonder life goes by so fast if you’re rushing through days, weeks and whole seasons!

    • Dawn says:

      Agreed – being a musician does this too you as well. We’ve starting polishing up the Christmas tunes right about the middle of August. Nothing rushes the Christmas spirit like practicing Sleighride in a tank top and shorts.

  16. M says:

    Good post!
    I push Summer to the max, love Fall but Summer is not over until it is over. Fall will get it’s chance to push on into Winter. Winter gets short changed because I pull Spring into place at the slightest hint that it is around the corner. I want to see thoser leaves growing.
    If you are outdoors enough you can actually feel the changes as they happen, feels really nice.

    I agree that businesses are way too pushy with the products for the next season, influencing the way we live. I refuse to succumb to their pressure.

  17. Ulli says:

    I went to the Horta store the day before yesterday…
    They were putting up Christmas deco! 😱
    August 29th!!

  18. MrsChrisSA says:

    And here on my side of the world, we are getting ready for summer!!

    Blossoms on the trees, new growth – my bestest time of the year!!

  19. Lois M Baron says:

    I went into a store last week and the Halloween stuff was right next to a display of Christmas ribbon. It’s wrong. All wrong. SO wrong.

  20. Nikki Howser says:

    HAHA! Love it, esp your plushie legs comment 😂😂 I too am Team Not Fall! I think it’s ridiculous that sbux rolled out their psl this week. Come on. Who wants a cozy latte when it’s 95 F out??

  21. Marlene Eastman says:

    Vacationing in Tofino! Had to layer up and wear socks and shoes for an evening on Long Beach …. 14 degrees!!

  22. Tina says:

    I’m really ready for fall! I don’t like summer, especially this one that’s too hot, too humid, and way too long! I’m ready for SNOW!

  23. Linda says:

    Get old. Shaving anything becomes a non issue.

    • Teri says:

      Oh god yes! Nobody warned me that hair that used to be elsewhere on my body would migrate to my chin. Less ‘No No’ and more WTF?
      Teri on the left coast

      • Cheapdiva says:

        Hahaha – I DO tell you friends and family women under 50 that this WILL happen. They give me the same look I used to give my father when he would say, “the older you get, the faster the years will go by”. I was sure dementia was setting in with him (uh, no, he was right). So, young women everywhere – you’ll be able to shave your legs less and less, but start plucking and shaving your face!!!

      • Lynn says:

        Well said , I was thinking just that.

  24. Katy says:

    OMG, “that drawer smell”! It got cool here in SW Idaho last week and I have already encountered that! Luckily it’s back to normal summer temperatures here.

    I wholeheartedly agree with you. Each season in it’s time and not before! I love Fall-when it’s time for it! In the meantime 💐🌞🌸

  25. MaryJo says:

    Well said, Karen!

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