That Day Has Come

As you know, I’m partaking in a Christmas Pledge.  I have vowed to get the majority of the stuff I need to get done, finished before December 4th.  If you read the original post you know that I said the first nice day there was, I was going to put up my outdoor lights and garland, even if it meant not having a post for you that day.

That day has come.

Sorry, but that’s the way it is.  No post for you.  Suck it.  (I use that term because a couple of months ago someone emailed me asking me not to use the phrase “suck it” because they were offended by it because they were boring and stupid.  I told them to suck it.  I also may have spelled it wrong.)

It’s a balmy, “somewhere above freezing”, and it isn’t raining or snowing so I’m going to get out there before a vicious wind comes and frostbites my fingers off.  I still have to wrap my presents and I pretty much need my fingers for that.  I also  need my fingers for pointing at people who are wearing ugly shoes.

The disaster of doing the outdoor garland and lights isn’t so much putting them up, it’s getting the huge Tupperware containers out of the basement and up the 18″ wide staircase I have.  It’s running the extension cords, setting the timers, dragging out the ladder, redoing the bows, replacing the lights and trying to work in a snack or two.  The snacks are kind of the most important part.  Especially since I *know* I have pepper cheese and garlic crackers waiting in the kitchen.

Right there in the kitchen.  Just over to the left of my shoulder.  Creamy Boursin Pepper Cheese.  In the kitchen.

 

 

 

 

O.K. I’m back.  I’ll have to move onto the aged white cheddar when I need a mid-garland snack.  The pepper cheese is gone.

So in lieu of an actual post today (which this seems to be turning into somehow) just for fun, today I’m gonna throw out a sentence and I’d like you to finish it.  All 4 of you who aren’t partaking in the American ritual that is “Black Friday”.    Which sounds about as festive as Yellow Bruise Saturday, or The End is Near Monday.

While I’m out struggling with ladders and garland and expensive cheese products I’d like you to finish this sentence for me …

 

 

And so none of us feel like selfish jerks, feel free to format your sentence like this …

“All I want for Christmas is world peace and a flat screen television.”

or

“All I want for Christmas is world peace and an Hermes bag.”

or perhaps

“All I want for Christmas is world peace and an antique wire egg basket.”

See?  Like that.  No one’s a selfish jerk.  I love family, friends and the general warm feeling the holidays bring out in most people.  Until they get in a parking lot.  But there’s nothing wrong with liking presents either.  There just isn’t.

Begin!


 

 

 


119 Comments

  1. Meg says:

    All I want for Festivus (a holiday for therestofus) is someone to pay for my dental work. No, that’s boring… A Google TV! no, that makes me feel materialistic… Oh, I know! A sewing machine! There we go, nice and in the middle.

    Also, I’m participating in Black Friday as I type. For $10 foundation from Sephora. On the website. While I drink aforementioned cider. This is how Black Friday should be.

  2. Lynne says:

    All I want for Christmas is World Peace and all six of our children, their spouses and our two beautiful grandbabies under our roof for Christmas!

    Karen have you ever used Pepper Boursin instead of cheddar on your burgers?? Best. Burger. Ever.

    Heading to bed before I eat my weight in pepper cheese and crackers…looking forward to seeing the results of your struggle with ladders, garland & lights 🙂

    • Karen says:

      Lynne – That’s not fair. You’re making the rest of us look bad. You’re supposed to wish for something stupid, useless and materialistic. Or something for my chicken coop. ~ karen

    • Nicole2 says:

      Oooh, Boursin burgers, that sounds good! I’m soooo gonna try that!

      • magali says:

        My boyfriend and I hosted our engagement party this weekend and amongst other things served sliders with garlic Boursin and slices of green apple! they really are the best burgers!

  3. Laura says:

    …is a warm puppy. And a new car since we’re dreaming.

    • Aimee says:

      I’ll second that! Especially the puppy part (though I will take a dog of any age from a rescue, but there is something special about a puppy)! 🙂

      • Gayla T says:

        I can supply the puppy and I am the rescue. These are little sweet 7 lb Maltese taken by me from one of those notorius Missouri puppy mills. I have a male and a female so take your pick. The female was not preggers when she came to live here but is now and due in about a week. Imagine my surprise when I walked into my kitchen and saw doggie porno. I never had dogs that aren’t “fixed” so I never thought about her being a slut. (hope that word doesn’t offend anyone). I have the dogs to socialize and they are doing well and using the piddle pads great, now. Or, you can wait for the new baby or babies depending on how bad she was,

  4. Michelle says:

    All I want is health for those I love, and a lovely warm Canada Goose jacket for me, ’cause while it’s it’s still a little above zero in S. Ontario, I know that icky -30 degrees with the windchill is just around the corner 🙁

    • Karen says:

      Michelle – I have a red Canada Goose parka!! I love it! And …. I got it for Christmas one year as a matter of fact! ~ karen

  5. cheri says:

    All I want for Christmas is to win the lottery. Oh, and world peace……and a new set of mixing bowls.

  6. cheri says:

    ..and a new sofa that cats haven’t scratched to smithereens. Ok and a new car since mine is 16 years old. (and running great) and new kitchen counter tops and new flooring AND counter tops in the bathrooms. Thank you.

  7. Robyn says:

    My two front teeth. So I can eat my turkey!

    Just kidding – I still have all my originals! I haven’t yet reached that age where I can take them out and let them soak in Steradent overnight. Yet.

  8. Meg says:

    All I want for Christmas is a decent paying job, someone to fix my sewing machine and maybe an engagement ring. That’s not asking for too much, is it?

  9. Lynne says:

    Ok then…
    All I really want for Christmas is a hot tub nicely placed on the deck off of our master bedroom. Covered with a Gazebo that magically removes the snow from itself so we don’t have to climb up onto the roof to shovel.
    While I’m at it, lets add decking that always keeps the path from my room to the hot tub free of snow and ice 🙂
    Completely selfish and materialistic but it would be soooo appreciated during the blizzards & the -39 C temps that are just around the corner!!

  10. SK Farm Girl says:

    All I want for Christmas is my family together! So we can hug, drink, eat, hug, drink, eat, then argue! Really I want my family together for Christmas and if you really insist on buying something I want a pair of those cool rubber boots Karen was giving or one of those beuatiful maple rolling pins. Just saying . . . 🙂

  11. Stéphanie says:

    All I want for Chrismas is end of AIDS, Cancer, war, and a Longchamp bag (if not possible, the Longchamp bag would be satisfying)(Ok I’ll take any pretty new bag).

  12. Aimee says:

    All I want for Christmas/Solstice is world peace and for my husband to surprise with something I really love. The surprise is the best part of the gift!

  13. Belinda Philp says:

    sexy shoes, new clothes (with my pre-babies body to go in them) and a handbag

  14. Marti says:

    A website that re-launches MONDAY to wild success and going viral.

    (Is that the same Meg above me with the jowl bacon, h-hocks and collards? I’m half-Southern and I don’t eat jowl anything! Although Martha White set my mouth to watering… ! And Karen, I had a great Thanksgiving in spite of not winning one of your book lotteries!)

    Tell us who told you to stop saying suck it, so we can cyber-mock them further, please?

  15. Mary says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and an Audi S5 coupe. That’s all.

  16. mel says:

    all i want for christmas is a bouncy castle, a mini horse and an eames rocker chair.

  17. Dawn says:

    All I want for Christmas is… to redecorate my house without being moaned at for not ‘planning it properly’ first. Perfectionist husbands can be a right pain in the… Oh, and Marmite egg cups. And world peace. 😀

  18. Pati says:

    All I want for Christmas is for my hubby to get the off shore job he’s put his resume’ in for so I can turn into a lady of leisure . ;o)

  19. All I want for Christmas is world peace and a Kindle. Oh, and for someone other than my mother to subscribe to my blog.

  20. Brenda says:

    someone to tell me they planted lots of tulips in my yard, honestly Karen I thought that was the best little gift idea EVER !!

  21. Farquist says:

    I want to cuddle my new grandson who lives in a different city but is coming for Christmas for a whole week and a box of wine and the ability not to use run-on sentences.

  22. Bev says:

    world peace and a new chicken coop for my yard!

  23. LA says:

    All I want for Christmas is…..a fun filled Christmas with my extended family and friends……..and…a renovated bathroom, shiny new hardwood floors (gosh, I would even settle for shiny refinished hardwood floors), and my husband to agree that we need those things….I am sure there is more….but then I would totally look selfish!!

  24. Katharine says:

    All I want for Christmas is the perfect coat.. Which I’ve not yet located. But my husband has good taste.. Maybe?

  25. Julia says:

    All I want for christmas is world peace and a pair of boots that don’t give me elephant feet but are warm and waterproof! I am in England, there is rain…

    looking forward to seeing the lights up!

  26. Gloria says:

    ….I want a new car too….2012 Mustang GTO….in red please…..

  27. Clare says:

    all I want for Christmas is world peace, and for my kids, friends and family to be healthy and happy … and …

    my own place! So we can get out of this horrid Beige Palace we have been renting, and into somewhere I can paint the colors that I like. And also start putting down some roots in this new country we are living in!

    And yes, I know I should be grateful for having a roof over my head and enough to eat, and grateful I am buying a house, not losing one, and I truly truly am, but life is too short for beige. Especially on the walls, ceiling, floor coverings, tile, counter tops. Beige. Everywhere.

    We are currently in escrow, so I my Christmas wish is that we close before Christmas. Not so I can spend Christmas in my new home, but so I can spend Christmas painting it. Any colour that isn’t beige.

    Apologies to the beige lovers out there …

  28. Michelle says:

    All I want for CHRISTmas is world peace (of course) and a fancy Sony Alpha DSLR camera! I’m hoping to be able to take nice “blog worthy” pictures for my brand new baby of a blog and to be able to take good pictures of the family!

  29. Polly says:

    All I want for Christmas is a remote car starter, a set of nesting glass mixing bowls, and world peace.

    Ah, world peace. Can’t wait to find that under my tree…

  30. Cricket says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and no children throwing up. Oh, wait. That was what I wanted for Thanksgiving. All I want for Christmas is world peace and a serger. And no children throwing up would be nice as well.

  31. Dotti says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and more time. With all the scientific progress that we make every year, why can’t they find more hours in a day?! and here in Florida, we have to worry about getting the outdoor decorations up without heatstroke or sunburn…so we have to wait for a day when its cloudy or a “cool” front has moved through and the temperature drops below 80.

  32. Judith says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace, single payer health care in the US AND all four of us under one roof.

  33. Nicole2 says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace…and an iPad. And to my friend Lynne who works for a medical supply company, if you’re reading this, please don’t give me an eye pad and think you are being sooo funny.

  34. Cindy Marlow says:

    All I want for Yule is world peace and a 3 week paid trip to Desert Hot Springs, California. Wait…I GOT the paid trip to Desert Hot Springs! I guess it would be selfish to wish for anything more.

  35. Jonalynn says:

    all I want for Christmas is for no one to go hungry, my husband’s back to stop hurting him and an immersion blender.

  36. jen says:

    All I want for Christmas is for our house renovations to be finished! Though…I have a feeling that’s a much more attainable goal for next year!

  37. Amy says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and a pair of diamond stud earrings.And I always refuse to do Black Friday – I’m not that crazy or desperate. Except I’m waiting for the guy to come repair the 12 yr old dryer so I’m probably going to have to go get a Black Friday deal on a new dryer today and that’s probable what I’m going to get for Christmas this year. Woo Hoo!

  38. All I want for Christmas is a Silhouette Cameo Cutter and all its add-ons.

    Suck it world peace.

  39. Alison says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and a phone call home from my son who is a boot camp with the Marines until late January. We were told not expect a phone call on Christmas in case they weren’t allowed to call, but Thanksgiving sucked without him and Christmas is going to suck without him, too. So, please, Santa….I just want to hear his voice.

  40. Maggie says:

    All I want for Christmas is to end homelessness, that awesome bird cage pendant light from Conran’s and to get my dining room chairs reupholstered with any fabric my little heart desires.

  41. Laurence says:

    All I want for christmas is world peace, a new job and a place to call home!

  42. Rose says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and for my husband to finally get me something that I didn’t have to go out an purchase myself and then act all excited that “he” got me something that wasn’t a book, or a video game so that we can play it together. Squee!!!

  43. KB says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and a backpiece (tattoo) of the Virgin Mary. Yup!

    Have fun with your decorations Karen!

  44. Ruth says:

    world peace is good but REALLY want a VERY GOOD non-stick frying pan.

  45. Lindsay says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace and a cute little starter home. Complete with white-picket fence, water features and small dog running around the yard. (I thankfully already have the dog. 🙂 Lucy. A 15 mo old Shih-tzu.)

  46. julie says:

    All I want for Christmas is world peace, for ALL of my kids to be home at the same time [especially my son who lives in NYC and is trying to be a singer/actor but so far is working at a gallery/rare bookstore….so come to think of it, I also want for someone to DISCOVER him, because he is truly unbelievably talented and come on, most famous singers SUCK], and to get this awesome cute tiny chaise longe {?lounge?} reunholstered because it’s been in my garage for 2 years and I’ve decided I can’t learn to upholster complicated things and can’t I please just PAY someone professional to do it? Oh, and one more thing: for my sisters & their families to FINALLY come to MY house for Christmas, because I’m tired of being the family who ALWAYS has to travel. [and besides, my kids will all be home!]

  47. AmieM says:

    All I want for Christmas is World Peace, and to not have to worry about rent next year, and somehow afford to do the Inca Trail in the spring.

  48. Nancy412 says:

    A pint of judgement. No, I never did know what that meant, but, it was a kids book and my Mom thought it was cool

  49. Jenn says:

    I’m gonna get all gooey & say “a day with my newborn son and our family”.

    That, and my ankles back. Really, it’s the simple things.

    • Karen says:

      Jenn – You’re allowed. You’re pregnant with your first born. If it was the second, or third, I wouldn’t allow it. I think you should also ask for a full day body massage at some point. Before or after the birth. Your choice. ~ k

    • Jenn says:

      OK, in the past few minutes I’ve added a couple of things to my wish list:

      1. To rid myself of the Midnight Oil earworm you got going with this post’s title: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qspbF5owcZk

      2. To drink some gluhwein – my fav holiday beverage.

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