My resume reads a little differently than most.
Mainly this is because I’m not very good at writing resumes, and partially because I’m in a creative field. People in creative fields tend to be given a little bit of leeway in terms of their resume structure and content. And math. We’re also given a LOT of leeway with anything to do with math.
Under the “Awards and Accolades” section of my resume, I have that I am a one time loser at the Geminis (Canada’s equivalent of the Emmys … I was nominated but didn’t win) and also featured prominently is the fact that I once caught a fly in midair with my LEFT hand. That takes a certain hand/eye coordination normally only seen in professional hedgehog jugglers.
I acquired my skill for fly catching while growing up in a horse barn. It is at this point that my mother is reading this and screaming at her computer screen that I DID NOT GROW UP in a horse barn. I am not referring to my mother’s housekeeping skills, but rather to the fact that I had a horse, Albany, all through highschool.
And with horses, come flies. And big poos. So whilst hanging around the barn I got quite skilled at catching flies. And hopping over poo.
Catching flies with my bare hands is a skill that’s come in handy on many occasions, but most often in my kitchen. By sliding your hand across the counter (or whatever surface the fly is on) at lightening speed, you can easily catch a fly without having to squish it with a flyswatter.
Why don’t I just use a fly swatter? ‘Cause I don’t know about yours, but mine is covered in old fly guts. Not something I want mashed onto my counter. Nor do I want freshly mashed fly on my counter.
Want proof? Want to see exactly how to do it? Good. I was hoping you would.
How to Catch a Fly
No flyswatter? No problem. Besides, flyswatters are grotesque. How to catch a fly with your bare hands. Anyone can do it! Provided you naturally have cat-like reflexes or … have played a lot of…
You may have noticed I smashed the camera as I caught the fly. Oopsie on that.
And in answer to your question … no I don’t think touching a fly is grosser than squished fly on my counter. I just don’t. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another Gemini to lose.