How to Catch a Fly with Your Hands.

My resume reads a little differently than most.

Mainly this is because I’m not very good at writing resumes, and partially because I’m in a creative field.  People in creative fields tend to be given a little bit of leeway in terms of their resume structure and content. And math. We’re also given a LOT of leeway with anything to do with math.

Under the “Awards and Accolades” section of my resume, I have that I am a one time loser at the Geminis (Canada’s equivalent of the Emmys … I was nominated but didn’t win) and also featured prominently is the fact that I once caught a fly in midair with my LEFT hand.   That takes a certain hand/eye coordination normally only seen in professional hedgehog jugglers.

I acquired my skill for fly catching while growing up in a horse barn.  It is at this point that my mother is reading this and screaming at her computer screen that I DID NOT GROW UP in a horse barn.  I am not referring to my mother’s housekeeping skills, but rather to the fact that I had a horse, Albany, all through highschool.

And with  horses, come flies.  And big poos.   So whilst hanging around the barn I got quite skilled at catching flies.  And hopping over poo.

Catching flies with my bare hands is a skill that’s come in handy on many occasions, but most often in my kitchen.  By sliding your hand across the counter (or whatever surface the fly is on) at lightening speed, you can easily catch a fly without having to squish it with a flyswatter.

Why don’t I just use a fly swatter?  ‘Cause I don’t know about yours, but mine is covered in old fly guts.  Not something I want mashed onto my counter.  Nor do I want freshly mashed  fly on my counter.

Want proof?  Want to see exactly how to do it?  Good.  I was hoping you would.

How to Catch a Fly

 

No flyswatter? No problem. Besides, flyswatters are grotesque. How to catch a fly with your bare hands. Anyone can do it! Provided you naturally have cat-like reflexes or … have played a lot of…

You may have noticed I smashed the camera as I caught the fly. Oopsie on that.

And in answer to your question … no I don’t think touching a fly is grosser than squished fly on my counter.   I just don’t.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have another Gemini to lose.

 

49 Comments

  1. smee says:

    found your blog this morning at about 7:30. It’s now 12:45 and my husband is wondering what the heck? Anywho, the fly catching is awesome, however I still have a gushy spot for our handsome Mr. Obamahumalahhumalahoohoohsweetmercymargaret, aka Mr. President. Who frankly, can kill anything in my house he’d like to as long as I got to watch.

    You? I’d just like to have lunch with, you’re hilarious. (as long as we don’t eat yogurt)

    • Karen says:

      Welcome smee. I do eat yogurt. But I don’t need to have it at our lunch. I’ll probably order a burger. ~ karen!

  2. Nancy says:

    Hi Karen, I can tell you how to kill a fly and it is pretty foolproof. When you see a fly land.. put your hands about a foot apart, a few inches above the surface, fly in the middle. Wiggle your fingers just a tiny bit. Supposedly this confuses them because their tiny brains cannot handle input from 2 sources at one time.(apparently flies are not good multitaskers) Quickly clap your hands together above the fly.. Splat.. Gross… NOW…. go wash your hands. Keep in mind flies take off upwards and backwards…Oh…hairspray works great for any bug…I cannot kill a spider though… I have to catch and release on those… Usually with a cup and some kind of sturdy paper to slide underneath so I can escort them out of the house…Love your attitude and your writing.. ..I landed here after searching for chicken coops… My compliments on the luxury establishment you have provided for the hen party!!!!… I’ll be back… I am a figure it out kind of person through and through….and I consider humor to be one of the basic food groups… later, nc

  3. Robin says:

    Teeheee – I’ve been doing that for years, lol. We used to have frogs when the child was young and this was how I got some of their food into the tank. Before the frogs, I used to have a freshly-boiled bowl of water at the ready and would throw those dastardly flies into it. I don’t like using fly spray or swats – yuck. I know (I think) that they do some good in cleaning up stuff – outside – but I HATE them. In summer they make a complete mess of the ceiling and walls. I’m ordering screens for this southern hemisphere summer!
    Just recently found your blog and I LOVE it!

  4. Angela says:

    I caught a fly with chopsticks once. I actually forgot about it until the friend I was eating with at the time of the fly capture reminded me the other day. I figured no one would believe me, so I stored that information away. Apparantly, she tells all of her friends.

    Maybe I should add “fly ninja” to my resume….

  5. Stacy says:

    Is it weird that I’m more impressed ith this than anything I’ve seen all week? You are amazingly talented!
    Stacy

  6. Shauna Rudy says:

    I am super impressed, but I’m not sure I understand what the trick is. Is it the sliding? Do they not see you coming from the side? Teach me, Master Karen! (And in return, I will teach you my surefire trick for killing mosquitos.)

  7. Kristy says:

    I have just awarded YOU the Versatile Blogger Award!! :) I really love your blog and thought everyone should know it! :)

  8. Cynna says:

    Haha–that’s great! Reminds me of a day during the summer of ’76 when my friend John and I were bored and sitting in his parents’ kitchen. He came up with the idea (I think it was bong-hit inspired) to catch flies, shake them to temporarily stun them, then tie a long hair(we both had long hair)around each of their necks. Then John taped the end of the hair(s) to the ceiling of the kitchen. When the flies came to, they flew in circles like whirly-gigs. Amusing to us but not to his mother. Good times.

  9. nancy (aka moneycoach) says:

    I just bought two daschunds instead…

  10. Del says:

    Have you considered taking up Ninja training? Or maybe you’re really adopted from a Shaolin monastery and you have THE gene. You know the faster than Bruce Lee thing. My husband catches flies with his hands and he’s a fourth dan karate dude. Don’t know if it’s one of the necessary abilities to gain a black belt but if it is …you’re on your way!

  11. Shauna says:

    Watching the chickens catch flies in mid-air is fun too;)

  12. Evalyn says:

    I would much rather catch a fly than smash one. I don’t have many “that’s just gross” moments, but smashing bugs is one. I. cannot. do. it. I catch live bees in my hands in order to put them outside. And spiders. And beetles. And flys. And moths. All buglife that should be outside, and NOT IN MY HOUSE.

    And how can touching a bug with your hand be less gross than cleaning up bug guts? And wings. And tiny legs. And . . . yeah.

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