The Best Post I’ve Ever Produced.

No matter what your job or what it is you do, every so often, everything comes together for you.   You are the epitome of efficiency and excellence and everyone around you is in awe from the moment you walk into work until the moment you leave.  You scanned the most groceries, won the case or sold the most.  You looked great, felt great and just glided through the day.

As a blogger every once in a while this happens too. You create a post that all other posts will be measured up against. A post so creative and original and riveting that you figure you might as well pack it up now because you’ll never write a better post than this.  No one will ever create a better post than this.

This is not that post.

This is the opposite of that post.  Which is really just as impressive an accomplishment.

I decided to change things up a bit by doing a nice long video for you where I just walk around my garden and talk about it and what’s going on in my life.  Not that anything out of the ordinary is going on in my life, but this video was going to be different than my normal videos because it wasn’t going to be a quick, edited, 2 minute piece.  You and I were going to spend some quality time together wandering through my community garden looking at everything.

I even brushed my hair so I’d look super cute. I considered wearing the Elvis wig I bought but went with brushing my hair instead.  It seemed more practical.

I think it was around that point that things started to fall apart.

My phone froze up making the video, I couldn’t get my microphone to work, my tripod tipped over and after reviewing what footage  I did get, I noticed I didn’t look super-cute so much as super-tired and super-in-need of a bleach job.  Note to all: never record a video the day after returning from 5 days on Beale Street in Memphis.

So what I have for you now is half of a video, featuring bad sound quality, saggy skin, dark circles and hair in need of 14 buckets of bleach.

Please enjoy.

 

 

I’m taking this as a sign.  No more long meandering videos.

And no more going anywhere without at least one wig.

78 Comments

  1. Paula says:

    I tried Belgium White Carrot – Lunar this year and I love it. It got to be really big and as I did a raised bed with cardboard on the bottom, it hit bottom and made the end curl into a funny shape. Btw, it is really cool to hear your voice.

    • Paula says:

      Also, I really like the video and I didn’t have a problem with the audio and I wear hearing aids so that says something. I grew Parisian carrots, too and I loved them because we were able to eat them so early in the season and keep on growing more.

  2. Chris says:

    As a failed gardener, I thoroughly enjoyed your video!!

  3. Tracie says:

    Well, I could be wrong, but did you actually refuse to crack open that purple carrot due to there being very few?? Hrumph! Anyway, you did have surprisingly dark roots, I must say (I could have just been uppity about the carrots)…but speaking as a woman of 50 some years, who was duped into having teal hair over a month ago, (and has not figured out what to do with it since) I can not judge. Also, at the risk of sounding somewhat, shall we say, rainbow-ish, those are pretty spectacular knees, lady! I always notice the knees, as they show the age first in my opinion. Not that you need to worry. Hence the spectacular knees…p.s. I can’t wait for your Halloween segments…

    • christine hilton says:

      I know! The knees! And no cellulite.

    • Karen says:

      I did refuse because of that, my hair is back to it’s natural platinum at the moment, and I’ve never noticed my knees so now I’m going to have to rewatch my own awful video, lol. ~ karen!

      • Michael says:

        Karen
        I would like to place an order of 2 dozen purple carrots and your Legs.
        I have always been a leg man and yours are as good as they get!
        Thanks
        Michael

        • Karen says:

          O.K. Well I’m going to keep them for a while, what with needing them to pick carrots and get around the garden and all but I’ll keep you in mind ~ karen!

  4. Ardith says:

    Love the “bad” video. Love the carrots. Envy the green thumb. Cheers, Ardith

  5. Kathleen says:

    As humorous on video as in written word. Perhaps next time Tippex drawn on your hair parting would make the need for bleach look less obvious? 😉

    Really enjoyed hearing your voice.

    Once again, thank you for a wonderful start to my day. (07:03 here in SA)

  6. Marna says:

    I thought the video was good, you looked good too. Please do more longer videos I enjoyed it. I didn’t grow any carrots this year, usually do. I will have to try some of the varieties you mentioned, never tried anything other than the usual orange in regular length and shorter ones. 🙂

  7. Grammy says:

    Other than the audio fading in and out, the video was great. We all come here to see whatever you’re offering and don’t require extraordinary production values — just you looking cute (dark roots and all) and being amusing while you show us something interesting. If you get a large enough crop of them to break one open and take a picture, I’d love to see a cross-section photo of the purple carrot.

  8. Karen Too says:

    Well, you have 4 or 5 different kinds of carrots, I have 4 or 5 carrots. I say, good work! Really good work! Looks like a spectacular day!

  9. MissChris from SA says:

    My thoughts on this post:

    1. You are very brave doing a video! Who was the cameraman or did you have to position the camera and then
    run into place etc.?
    2. You are right about the bleach job – but it does not look that bad!
    3. Yes, you do look tired – why?
    4. People like you should really not wear such short shorts because it really p’s people like me off no end –
    no hail damage (cellulite) and a damn fine pair of pins! No fair!!!

    Other than that – the video was an absolute delight – please don’t stop making them!! 🙂

    • Karen says:

      Miss Chris … My actual job (or up until 3 years ago) was being a television host, lol. So making a video is no big deal. Second nature. I have lots of videos actually if you sign up to my The Art of Doing Stuff Youtube channel you’ll see them all. 🙂 Hair was fixed this weekend. I made the video the day we got back from Memphis and I was tired. So I look tired, lol. Thanks about the legs. ~ karen!

  10. Mary Edmondson says:

    To be continued in another post we hope. Loved the video and want more. Please?

  11. Louise says:

    You bleach your HAIR?!!!
    And I thought you were a perfect Scandinavian-type goddess.
    But good grief, woman; those legs! I agree with MissChris (above); you have the legs of a teenager and it’s heartbreaking to the rest of us. I’m not even sure my legs ever looked that good!

    • Barbara H. says:

      The hair! I had the exact same response as you – don’t know why I never considered that it was a bleach job. Loved it all. A bit jealous of it all, especially the carrots. Thanks for the great start to my day, Karen.

      • Karen says:

        Hi Barbara H! I was white haired until highschool then I became dirty blonde haired. The growth always looks black because it’s up against something pure white (the bleached platinum hair). Will be harvesting my carrots this Sunday hopefully! ~ karen

  12. Maura says:

    Great to see you nonetheless!
    I will take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this delightful blog. I have learnt so much and laught so much!
    You are the best…roots and all!

  13. Teresa from Texas says:

    You are the most unpretentious, and funny person I’ve ever had the delight to (not) meet! (note to self: get out more).

    Loved the video!

  14. Coralie says:

    Loved the video:-) Your sweet potato patch looks good, really lush and green but you didn’t say whether you eat the leaves or not. Did you know they (the leaves) make a fabulous substitute for spinach? This means you don’t have to double up and grow spinach too, which I find really handy. Why grow two crops when one will do the job and sweet potato are so easy to grow. I grow my patch of red sweet potato for tubers in the garden and then grow some in big pots or hanging baskets and feed them lots of nitrogen for the greens. Young leaves are lovely in salads and older leaves are cooked exactly like spinach in any recipe you like.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Coralie. I don’t eat the leaves. I’ve just never got into the habit of it. Swiss Chard is my cooked green of choice. 🙂 ~ karen

  15. Alana says:

    I am so glad to hear you say after a certain point you couldn’t be bothered! It’s good to know that you, too, are human! Loved the video!

  16. maggie van sickle says:

    I grew the very same carrots Karen and the purple carrots did not grow very well either. It stumped me as to why they remained very small but they were tasty. I will try again next year and put the seeds farther apart. That might help. Happy harvesting.

  17. Leisa says:

    I hope u were serious about the Elvis wig because you would make the perfect Tiny E (Elvis)! Do you remember that SNL skit? Hilarious

  18. Danica says:

    Can we pay you to come and help us start our garden next year. I live in Hockley Valley. It’s nice here. The drive is pretty. The house will be stocked with oreo cookies.

    I am not kidding about any of the above.

  19. Lindy says:

    Gripping stuff. No really. Loved the way you gripped that purple carrot. And then disappeared out of shot. I am YEARNING for part two. The cutting garden. Hurrah. And then you will be doing the flower arranging one. Do we have to send money for that?

  20. Catherine Vosper says:

    Very nice and very entertaining. I’ve never followed a blog before, I sure like it!

  21. Mary W says:

    It was fun walking in your garden and hearing about the veggies. I think the purples are probably closer to their ancestors than the other types of carrots – not as hybrid-upped and I suspect the more ancient the veggie, the smaller it is. Your garden is still lush and so full of suppers! Those carrots would make a great lunch salad and wonder how you do prepare them for eating raw. Wash and eat? Or do you fix a beautiful plate with wonderful dressing and crunchy bread – take a gorgeous picture to make us drool – then eat. Can’t wait to see your harvest. Loved the short video and wish your filming had gone longer but I would have been trying to strangle the tripod or at least have thrown something to get rid of the frustration. Tell us – do you curse, stomp, just keep going, yell, kick the camera? How do you get rid of that frustration? or maybe it doesn’t build up in you? tell us your secret, please.

  22. lisa says:

    I thought it was great! More videos!

  23. Jillian says:

    Thank you for sharing your full grown garden! I am always interested in other peoples gardens and their success’s. I am so jealous you have sweet potatoes! I wanted to grow them but forgot to put them on my list last winter and by the time I realized they were missing it was too late. However, since I have never grown them I probably would not have been successful. So it was a good thing you did and gave your tips.
    By the way, you look fantastic! And instead of saying “your roots”, say “new growth” which correlates to your love of growing your garden lol
    Thank you for all you do and are

  24. Ev Wilcox says:

    Thanks for the vid Karen! Your garden is just as lush as I thought it would be! If there was nary a weed to be seen I would worry about you! Please do another vid-the cutting area maybe, and the tomatoes, even if they are mostly picked. You are our inspiration on gardening, as well as crafting and being an extreme D-I-Y’er!
    Enjoyed it a bunch. BYW-you looked just fine-like a real gardener!

  25. Serduszko says:

    I planted plain orange carrots in my NJ garden this year for the first time. I felt like such a rebel! Who plants carrots!?!? :). Apparantly no one in NJ.. They all thought i was crazy!! Lol! I don’t know why I did not plant them until now! So easy to grow and really yummy! From this year forward I’ll be planting them each year. Thanks for the inspiration! :).

  26. Sarah says:

    Reminds me of George Costanza. Always go out on a high note! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YaaZZN9VYs

  27. Tara says:

    You are just the best.

  28. Mary says:

    Fun to see your garden. Love that even your credits were funny! Thanks for sharing!!

  29. leslie says:

    Do you do impressions?

  30. Amie M says:

    I hate bugs in my bra!!

  31. Elen G says:

    “Please Send Money.”

    That was my favorite part. rotfl

  32. Jan in Waterdown says:

    So just what was the thing you picked up and tossed aside in the beginning? And whatever it was, I can’t believe you weren’t wearing gloves! Sorry to sound like your mother, I know you already have one but I didn’t see her jumping in here so I decided to do it.

  33. Sabina says:

    Hysterical! I’d love to sit and kibitz over a bottle of wine with you sometime, lol! The first carrots I ever grew were Atomic Reds and they were the sweetest, creamiest most real-carrot-flavored carrot I’d had in a long time! Last year I tried the Parisienne carrots and, well, have you ever washed a whole bag of golf balls? They (carrots, not golf balls) tasted good but it was way too much work cleaning them so this year I went back to the Atomic Reds and also sowed a row of Tri-Color heirlooms – purple, orange and white – gorgeous and delicious! I will have carrots into December or January.

    • Karen says:

      Atomic reds? I can’t remember if I’ve grown those but I don’t think I have. I have grown Atomic purple however and liked ’em. I’ll look for reds next spring. 🙂 ~ karen!

  34. Jody says:

    You’re funny. I like that. Could you please do a post on how to determine when root veggies are ready to be harvested. Right now I have beets and radishes and no idea if they’re ready to be plucked out of the ground or in my case, container. I had fingerling potatoes but pulled them last weekend since the leaves had all died off.

    • Karen says:

      OH! Excellent question. Most root vegetables are ready whenever you want to eat them. They don’t have to ripen like a tomato or red pepper. Once they’re big enough to eat you can eat them. Beets have a reputation for going woody when they’re too big but it isn’t true. At least I haven’t found it to be true. So you can either eat them now if they’re big enough or leave them in the ground to continue growing. Either way they’ll be good. Ditto for carrots. Radishes have a tendency to split the longer you leave them in the ground mainly because of fluctuations in weather and moisture. But if they look edible, they are edible. And yes, good move on the potatoes. Once the leaves start to look haggy and die back the potatoes are ready to harvest. ~ karen!

  35. Gordy says:

    Great video Karen. Started my day with a smile. You always look super cute btw. Cheers, Gordy

  36. Ben says:

    Oh honey, you’re fishing for compliments now. You know you have a religious following of readers and the best site on the web. You make everyday fun with your projects and humor and videos. We love that you have regular problems like the rest of us and talk about that too. You’re beautiful and funny and talented and you bless the world with your gifts and we love you all the more.

    I wanna see the Elvis wig on you…

    You are AMAZING!!!

  37. Barbie says:

    I LOVED this!!! DO IT AGAIN!!!

    • Karen says:

      Wow. An “all caps” kind of love, lol. I’ll see if I can find a better mike, iphone, and dye job and give it another go. Maybe some Restylane or Juvederm too. ~ karen!

  38. Carolyn says:

    Thanks so much for giving us a quick and far-too-abbreviated crop tour of your community garden! As other readers have requested, please continue doing some more. All we need now is a glass of wine, margarita or other beverage of choice for the stroll…

  39. Linda says:

    YOU always inspire me Karen. You inspired me, myself and I to make a garden bench to work on because of a blog you posted as well as making raised beds. You are a smart one, I loved the video even if it was a bit of a headache for you. Thanks for posting it. Keep up the good work.

    • Karen says:

      OH, you’re kidding?! That’s great. My garden table is my favourite thing about my community allotment. LOVE it. ~ karen!

  40. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    I loved it too…make some more like this anytime!

  41. Leslie says:

    Karen,
    Thank you so much for making my day. You are funny, funny, funny. Oh, and exceptionally talented!

  42. Janice Mortimer says:

    If I took a picture of my garden, I think you would cry….well maybe laugh…both? I actually think you would laugh so hard you wet your pants and cry. My tomatoes are still hanging, green and hard. The plants are dying but the tomatoes are fighters. At least the ones the deer dont seem to fancy so there must be something wrong with them. They ate the good green ones and left the rest. My carrots never grew. I pulled one out to curse it for not growing and shoved it back in the hole so it could warn the rest of the lazy buggers about my contempt towards them. The deer liked my kale so I didn’t get any of that but they left the bitter lettuce leaves for me to chew and choke down. My celery is growing but no where near done. Pathetic.

  43. markus says:

    Encore!, Encore!

  44. Merrilee says:

    Actually quite enjoyed the video garden tour- albeit brief. I missed your garden-along, hope you’re going to do some more of those types of classes. Maybe some DIY Halloween decorations- my favorite holiday since it’s my birthday!!

  45. Maureen Locke says:

    One of my favourite posts I think… next to the frozen yogurt tampon one. lol Both video posts I might add. Going to go over and check out your you tube channel. Really enjoyed spending those short minutes with you. You’re so much fun. Thanks Karen. 🙂

  46. As always…you are fabulous! Cheers.

  47. Carol Ann says:

    You crack me up.

  48. Janet says:

    Love the garden…hated to see the vid end. How do you make Swiss chard, it just showed up in my grocery store and want to try it but never know what to do with greens so that they don’t end up musth and bitter.

  49. Linda says:

    Good thing you didn’t find the bug in your bra before your mike fell off, eh?

  50. Marci says:

    I love a long meandering video of your garden. I hope you’ll take us back when you harvest all your bounty. Sadly since I started gardening for other people my own vegetable growing has shriveled so I will enjoy the harvest vicariously. Through you.
    If you agree to do your part.

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