I have a puppy. Holy crap. He's so much harder to take care of than sourdough starter. And yet - nobody mentioned that. Not a single person I told said, "You know it's gonna be harder than raising sourdough starter don't you? " What the hell, people?!
Listen, before we even get into this post with its assortment of terrible, blurry pictures of the 8 week old puppy, I have to wonder out loud - why didn't I get something easier to take care of? Like a soufflé. Or 17 babies.
At least when you bring a brand new baby home it just lays there. Yeah, it might scream for extended periods of time but you can eliminate that problem with a $2 set of earplugs and some Gin.
Speaking of elimination, were you aware that a puppy needs to eliminate every hour? Or maybe he doesn't. 🤷♀️ It's a game of risk ... and chance! Will he go? Or won't he? You could roll the dice and wait 2 minutes until you yourself have finished peeing while being stared at by a dog to take him out, but then you run the risk of having two messes to clean up.
Again. WHY people, why?? Just a little nudge and - Hey, remember that time you always kill your sourdough starter?
The First Week With a new Puppy
Is completely exhausting. There's no time to get showered or groceries and definitely no working. Your time is divided between making sure it only eats inside the house and only poops outside of it.
When I first started thinking about getting a dog a couple of years ago, I imagined me and my pup creating beautiful portraits together. Me behind the lens, he standing regally, staring directly into the camera with a certain glint in his eye evoking the spirit of his mentor Tyra Banks.
The reality of portrait taking with your new puppy evokes something a little more avant garde than your standard Vogue shoot.
You are not on mushrooms. These are the portrait shots of my dog ...
I'm quite proud of this one. I was taking a photo of his face. Yes, it's his ass, but it's *almost* in focus. A soufflé on the other hand will certainly move during a photoshoot, but in general is much better behaved.
Have I mentioned I ate a fistful of dog kibble by accident?
Instead of walking around with my phone constantly I am now walking around with a treat pouch. Dog does something good - I give dog treat. Dog doesn't attack my ankles - I give dog treat. He knows exactly what to do to make me give him a treat.
It is the Pavlovian response in reverse.
Near the end of the week I sat at my computer with the treat pouch on my lap, the dog at my side and a small bowl of mixed nuts beside my laptop.
I don't think I need to explain it any more than that but I would like to say that the treats were surprisingly fishy.
I'd like to really hammer down on the fact that I didn't just put the nut sized handful of treats in my mouth and spit them out. I chewed them. Crunch, crunch, crunch. Yup, this makes sense - nuts are crunchy, deduced my brain.
But they're not fishy.
Not wanting to waste food and feeling moderately irrational after the shock of it, I walked over to the dog's food bowl and spat the partially chewed treats in. I felt like a seagull feeding her young.
Oh. I didn't mention that? I thought I had. K. Moving on.
I can't say for sure, but from what I remember upon waking up from a terror faint, this was the exact moment he got the Zoomies for the first time.
We were outside for another supermodel photoshoot. The above photo is a very accurate representation of how that went for us.
The Zoomies last from approximately 6 - 7 p.m. and involve chasing imaginary scary things, biting the air, biting my pants, biting my feet, biting while doing somersaults, and generally terrorizing anything in his path.
That's right. Between 6 and 7 he becomes a predator land shark who trained with Cirque de Soleil at some point.
This is normal.
This is another shot from the Zoomie photoshoot. That's a leg. I believe. If I gave this one above a zippy title I could probably sell it to one of the more forward thinking art galleries.
In this next shot I came very close to photographing almost half of him.
In the end, over the course of 3 weeks I got one photo that I could use for identification purposes on a flyer if I had to. If, say, my puppy was carried off by a gaggle of little girls wanting to smooch and dress him up like Ariana Grande.
So that is the photo I have left to the end to introduce you to my new blue Standard Poodle ...
PHILIP
(Lip)
If you're fan of the show Shameless you probably instantly recognize the name Lip. That's exactly where my new puppy's name came from after a long list and several days of being called STOP THAT, You're so cuteeee, Hi Puppy! and OMG that reeks.
I didn't really want a human name for him but he ended up being Philip with the nickname Lip because it felt right. The same way saving a large handful of potato chips at the bottom of the bag so you can eat them tomorrow as a snack at 4 o'clock feels right.
I'll continue trying to get a good photo of him. Maybe one where he's actually looking at me for instance. I could take one while he's sleeping but that feels like cheating. Also it would be a terrible photo because being black, when he sleeps he just looks like a hairy snow tire.
Over the next 2 years his coat will clear from black to blue. I'll explain more about what a "blue" poodle is in my next post on Philip.
Philip's breeder ultimately selected him for me based on his personality and temperament. Aside from the Zoomies every night he's the calmest, nicest puppy I've come across.
After being home one week he could sit, lay down (with luring), wait and walk at my side.
And he requires a lot less feeding than sourdough starter.
→Follow me on Instagram where I often make a fool of myself←
Claire
He's a real cutie! What do Ernie and the chickens think?
Karen
Ernie is actually coming around very well. I knew she'd be much better with a dog than another cat. They still aren't what you'd call friends, I'm letting Ernie sniff the dog out at her own pace and am still keeping them separated for the most part. The chickens don't care about the puppy, but the puppy has suddenly developed an interest (barking, bouncing, running in circles) in the chickens on the other side of the gate, lol. ~ karen!
Jamie
Standards are truly the best dogs! My sister had a silver and now two blacks. So interested to see Lip as he grows and watch his color develop.
Karen
I know, I can hardly wait to see how he turns out! ~ karen
Scout
Grandpa always said " Dogs are no trouble. " After his caught many skunks, got arrested a million times, stole golf balls from players at the country club and removed the carpet in the den, he still said it. 'Cause they were best pals. Meaning "Dogs are worth the trouble." Or.... 'cause Grandma wouldn't let him swear.
Karen
Ha! Probably a bit of both. But mostly the swearing thing.😆 ~ karen!
Bea
Congratulations! There is nothing better than a dog. And puppyhood is exhausting, trying, and painful ( those sharp little teeth).
I have a Wheaten ( family allergies)- I love my boy…
Poodles are amazing, so smart, and loving. Best decision ever….
Karen
He's a handful when I'm here alone with him, and he's PERFECTLY behaved when anyone else is around, lol. ~ karen!
Shawna
Awwww! Got yourself an adorable terrorist. That’s what they are for about a year….maybe 2. If you survive, it’s awesome after that. Good luck until then. 😉
Karen
Thanks!! ~ karen!
Robert
so how are the hens handling Lip?
are they getting along?
or does he think they're the perfect feathery chewing balls?
I seriously can't believe you actually did it!
YOU F I N A L L Y GOT A DOG!!!
Karen
I did! Like a crazy person I added a dog to my life. The chickens are behind swinging gates so the dog can't get in. They don't care about him very much but he's suddenly become extremely interested in those feathered things just out of reach. ~ karen!
Denise
I hung in there, proud I hadn't laughed, snorted, or guffawed.
At "hairy snow tire," I downright cackled!
*CACKLED*
Welcome, Philip!
Karen
Maybe that'll be his stripper name. ~ karen!
marcia
Your 1st week with Philip, aka as "Lip" sounds like it was so much fun! I laughed at your antics together 😂 He really is a handsome boy, and he really does have a nice back half (as shown in one of your photo). Sounds like Philip has you wrapped around his paw already! Dogs do that.
They make you fall for them really quick and your life is never the same again. It's so much better 💗 Talking of zoomies, well, my Gus (who is a Maltese and 6 yrs old) still does zoomies every day. You have years of fun ahead - enjoy and love him to bits, Karen.
Karen
Thanks Marcia! I may have to move if he's still Zooming at 6 years because he'll be across my entire house in about 2 strides, lol. ~ karen!
Sarah
Congratulations on your beautiful Standard, Lip! He’s gorgeous and brace yourself for when you fall head over heels in love with him.
Hint: I found it really works to leash my older pup to my waist so they couldn’t sneak off to go pee or poop.
I had a “poodini” who was always able to get out of the kitchen where I corralled him using baby gates. Sure enough he’d escape and go poo in the front hall. That’s how he got his nickname “Poodini” LOL
Karen
WE had our first poo inside the house this morning. Immediately after eating breakfast he ran to the front all (I forgot to close the baby gate on the kitchen) and pooped right by the front door. At least he got the location kind of right. 😝 ~ karen!
Sarah
You may have a budding ‘poodini” yourself. They are so smart that I get outwitted at times🤣😂😅
Mike
Oh my god. It took me a half hour to get through this because I was laughing so hard. Tears, can’t breathe, laughing so hard it hurts and then repeat… I should mention I have a 3 month old Lakeland terrier (Finn_for_the_winn_ on Instagram)! And can relate to this almost exact experience! Cheers to new puppies!
Karen
The struggle is real. REAL.😂 Good luck! ~ karen
Ferrigan Debbie
We have Lucy. She’s our pandemic puppy. We’ve always been a two dog pack and so, 10 months or so after we’d lost our old girl, we adopted Lucy to keep our Willow company. For the first 6 months after we got her (at 8 weeks) she was Lucy 8 hrs a day and Lucipher the rest of the day. And yet, we love her more than dill pickle chips!!
Karen
Well that's saying something! Andddddd now I have a craving. ~ karen!
Arleen
Smart girl getting a purebred poodle instead of some sort of oodle. You will love that pup.
Nancy Ann Page
Ahh, Lip is heartbreakingly beautiful....
Mary Lou Bean
Congratulations and welcome to the world of crazy female parents of dogs. Boy dogs can really seduce their moms. Fortunately, you are the perfect person to make our case. Philip is the perfect name,,,”Phillipe” is soooo French! Lip, I love it!
Kat - the other 1
Mom once bought two new treats for the dog.
One box looked like oreos, the other nutterbutters.
My brother and I eyed the boxes suspiciously, they didn't QUITE look right...
Youngest sister came into the room, ripped open the boxes and ate at least one of each before mom came in and told her they were dog treats! LOL! 😂
Rip sweet puppy :(
Hughanne Nopper
Congrats! Two rules, a tired dog is a good dog and out of sight means in trouble.
Enjoy!
Kat - the other 1
The same applies to children. ;) lol!
Vaughan
Oh, you're so lucky. I have a Standard and my boy is now 8 and is starting to slow down a bit. He is a love.
As many folks have said poodles are insanely smart and my guy Ravi was house trained in a few months. They are lovely companions and follow your moods closely. They are very sensitive and can get their feelings hurt.
Do crate-train yours, so if he ever needs a crate he won't freak out. Vets use crates a lot.
My boy knows all his toys by name, I have forgotten the names for many as he has at least 30 or so. He's smarter than me....
This is my 2nd poodle and I'll never have another breed. My one before this lived to 12 and only died b/c of a brain tumor. Very healthy otherwise.
You're in for many happy years - enjoy!
Karen
THanks! And yes I've absolutely noticed he follows my mood and is very sensitive. I can't wait to really get training with him. He loves learning and it's the best way to tire him out. Way better than just playing. ~ karen!
Kate
Love him!! Strap in and enjoy the ride! When the last of our three dogs passed, we decided to try being dog-less to see what it was like to not have to plan life around a dog. It lasted one year. Now there are two dogs back in the house - one for us and one for the dog, of course.
Katie Kirkpatrick
From what we see if him ;) Lip is a handsome guy. It sounds like you have the extortion thing with your garden boots under control at a very early age. Congrats! You are on your way to cohabitating with a poodle. Our mini-poodle Teddy is three and a bit and is smarter than us. Lots of laughs ahead for you!
Karen
I grew up with a miniature. :) ~ karen
Marilyn Meagher
Well better you than me , but I’m happy for you , and Lip. Lol
Karen
It's still easier than making maple syrup.😂 ~ karen!