What I’ve Been Doing The Past Week.

Menopause, shopping for cannabis with my 84 year old mother, and the wheels falling off.  Also I tried another YouTube hair curling tutorial. So yeah, shit went down this week. 

Actual text from Thursday

 

I spend one hour each night watching television.  Mostly dark series like Killing Eve, Ozark, or Shameless but none as detrimental to my hair as a Hallmark Christmas movie. I blame the Hallmark franchise of Christmas movies on this …

 

It starts in November, and by December I can’t help myself.  I wake up one morning and decide I’m going to have to curl my hair. It’s not a thought so much as a compulsion after watching hours and hours of Hallmark starlets, with a head full of not too uptight, not too loose curls. I’ve never liked curls. They’re too curly for me. I’ve never liked Christmas sweaters, dainty necklaces or saying Oh Gosh but after a month of watching I enter what I assume is some sort of Hallmark hypnosis.

This is how I end up curling my hair. Once or twice a year I give it a shot, it fails in a rather epic way and I walk around for the rest of the day as if this is a totally normal and good look for me. The next morning I retire the ambition of curls until the next round of Hallmark seasonal movies comes on television.

I want to make it clear that I don’t blame Hallmark entirely, I blame YouTube beauty Vloggers.  Specifically the ones who do hair tutorials, upload them, and expect me to be able to replicate what they do. Last time I watched a video on doing a type of rag rolling technique in order to look exactly like Charlize Theron.  You can see the startling results of that here. 

This time, I wanted to dry my hair with a diffuser to easily bring out “the luscious natural curls that were just waiting to blossom from my head“. That was the description. So that’s what I did. I diffused and diffused and diffused with my billion dollar hairdryer until I flipped my head back up and saw Nick Nolte staring back at me.


I would never have even tried to achieve head blossom curls even a year ago but something’s changed in that time. I think my meno is pausing. 

I had some blood tests last month that I think confirmed it.  I’m not entirely sure because my doctor didn’t walk me through the results. I read and interpreted the test results myself online. My doctor is retiring at the end of the month so if you aren’t scabbing up from some sort of radiation poisoning, she’s maybe not going to get back to you.

If it’s true, this would ALL MAKE SENSE.   I have had a bizarre series of random symptoms (including the gut wrenching anxiety that started earlier this year) over the past several months. None of which I’ve ever heard of as being related to menopause.

Want to know why?  Because menopause is relegated to the same level of medical concern as “my kid stuck a peanut up his nose.” The only time I remember any sort or real discussion in public about menopause was when one study thought maybe hormone replacement therapy could give you cancer and all the doctors stopped prescribing it giving us a world of 45-60 year old women screaming their way through a medical crises with no medical help at all.

Don’t think going through menopause without hormone replacement therapy is a medical crises?  Picture this conversation: 

Doctor:  Hello man person.  You had a heart attack, you might have had a stroke, I’m going to have to remove both your arms and legs and you have cancer in your eyeballs.  And oh yeah, it looks like all of your testosterone is gone. 

Man Person: Nooooooo!!!!  My testosterone is gone???!!!!!

Turns out the whole women shouldn’t use hormone replacement therapy thing is pretty close to bullshit by the way.  More on that in an upcoming post I plan on writing called Hey menopause, what the f*ck?

How this relates to hair curling, is that one of the things that can happen during menopause is your hair can go from straight to curly. Or in my case straight to curlyish in the back and sort of just weird in the front. I figured with these random curls that started naturally blossoming from my head all I needed was a diffuser to enter my Hallmark movie life. You can see from the photo above that this is yet another time I was very, very wrong.


This possible menopause thing is probably what’s also causing my anxiety. I got it back in February and thought it was because of the health scare I went through. But now that I’m sort of connecting all the dots, it seems like menopause might be the asshead in this scenario. 

I gave CBD oil a shot and thought I noticed it helping a little bit, but it’s so hard to tell because it takes a while for CBD oil to take effect in your system. I stopped taking the CBD mainly because of the cost and because I really wasn’t 100% sure if it was doing very much. A few months later I noticed my anxiety had gotten really bad and I started taking it again it. It does seem to help, but I wouldn’t say that CBD is the magic drug it’s touted at yet. 

That realization led me to meeting my 84 year old mother in the parking lot of my local pot shop. She has a fascination with anything different or interesting so I knew if I told her I was going to the new “drug store” as I call it, she was going to want to go.

I wanted to see if they had some strain of pot or something that would help me calm down before bed and sleep. I’d been waking up relentlessly with panic attacks for months and I was exhausted. 

Her bravado ended the minute we had to actually walk through the parking lot and into the small drug den  with the cheery yellow “Hello Cannabis!” sign out front. She refused to show the attendant her identification as is required when we walked in.  When she realized he really wasn’t going to let her in without showing it she basically waved her wallet in front of his face and said There. You saw it. This is stupid.

And just like that my mother had made another friend.

We went in and stared blankly around. It’s set up like a 1980’s catalogue store with a long counter of sales people ready to grab something from the back for you, and a row of tables down the centre of the room where you can flip through their online catalogue and fill out a request form for whatever you want.

Looking up, I saw my neighbour Wayne behind the counter and he waved us over. Betty was in it now.

I told her to relax. I imagined she was worried someone would see her there, but I reminded her that if they were seeing her, she was also seeing them. That calmed her down some. Once she realized it was a store like any other that she could browse for home accessories in she let loose.  

It was quite a mother daughter day. Daughter buying a couple of THC and CBD options for debilitating menopausal anxiety, mother contemplating if 1 or 2 handblown glass pipes would look better as a coffee table accessory.

We put on the THC virtual reality glasses …

.. and discussed the paintings that were displayed in the outer room.  She liked them. Wondered if they had anything to do with pot. Other than the bright colours, they did not.

In the end I had to drag her out of there. My mother liked the new experience. Next month I’m thinking of taking her to visit someone in jail.


Last Tuesday I walked to the grocery store at night with my antique wicker market basket. As one does.  If they’re an idiot.

I’ve done it once before and loved how much easier it made walking home with groceries. And also so much more stylish than a regular bundle buggy. I mean I might be going into menopause but I’m not at the bundle buggy stage yet. 

Just as I was in the middle of crossing the road at a stoplight, my wheel fell off.  Which would have been bad enough. But I didn’t really notice it even as I was suddenly scraping my cart across the road. When a spark caught my eye, I looked down and noticed one wheel was back near the sidewalk curb and all that was sticking out from my market basket was a metal axel. 

By now the crosswalk light was in that alarming state where it counts down how many seconds you have left before being run over by a car. There wasn’t enough time for me to make it to the side I was headed towards so I had to turn around, in the spotlight of everyone’s headlights, lift my market basket and hobble my way towards my wheel. 

This was all on the way to the grocery store, so I didn’t have to worry about getting all the way home on one wheel. The basket was carried to the store where a cashier gave me the one thing that can be used to fix anything.  Duct tape. 

Wheel attached, groceries purchased, I made my way home with my duct taped cart, reminding myself all the way that if this were a Hallmark movie a handsome lawyer/rancher would have hopped out of his truck to help me with my market basket situation.

And my hair would have been curled.

87 Comments

  1. Eileen says:

    webmd on L-thyanine:
    •Avoid beer, wine, and mixed drinks (alcohol) while taking this product.
    •This product may cause you to be sleepy. Take extra care driving and doing tasks that you need to be alert for.
    Take extra care and check with your doctor if you have:
    •Anxiety

    Huh? This makes it sound like it could worsen anxiety?
    Actually, just the fact that you have to swear off alcohol would do that…just sayin’

  2. ErinG says:

    This group has really helped me navigate perimenopause.
    http://www.menopausechicks.com
    Shirley’s book “Mokita” is a terrific resource.

    Love the Hallmark hypnosis idea – I’m totally distracted by those gals’ hair too

  3. Pam says:

    OMG – I loved this post for so many reasons… I’m 57 and have been having hot flashes for about 5 years. And cold flashes also! Loved reading all the comments and suggestions for menopause. I’ve tried CBD, a tincture that has low level of THC, magnesium and black cohosh root. So far nothing has worked. The hot flashes and hormones are totally disrupting my sleep and are more than annoying during the day. I’m going to look into THeronine… thank you to whoever suggested that. As for the curly hair… my daughter turned me onto manesbymell. IT’s two sisters that do a lot of YouTube videos and explain the process and products for curly hair. I haven’t tried it yet but she has had great results.

  4. whitequeen96 says:

    I was lucky (preening a bit!); my menopause was easy. I think I only had 3 or 4 hot flashes, and not much else. But that’s because fat women have an easier time of it generally, because fat stores hormones (so I’ve been told). So finally, fat was good for something!
    I love your take-your-mother-to-a-head-shop story! I was pretty fascinated the first few times I went. I had to get CBD for my son’s seizures and I was sitting next to an elderly woman in the waiting room. I finally turned to her and said, “YOU don’t look like a druggie!”
    I think your idea of taking your mother to visit a jail is a great idea! I’m sure she really would find it interesting!

  5. Kim says:

    God I love everything you say.
    Makes my day!

  6. Ecoteri says:

    one of my good friends, who is a pharmacist, says “better living through pharmaceuticals”. Another friend wisely recommended that I go straight to the hormones and not suffer for 2 years trying what she called “hippy dippy cures”. she had a tonne of girlfriends who experimented with all kinds of alternatives and were mad as barking dogs (her words – she’s Australian) until they ‘caved’ and took HRT and became human again.
    I was on the murder/suicide team so my family Doctor was totally willing to get me on HRT when I asked. He also knew that my home life was dreadful and that I had very young children – fool that I was to wait so long. So HRT for the win, I avoided the morgue and jail.
    .
    As for the hair? Mine is naturally curly. I have tried all kinds of potions to keep the frizz down. Recently I was in a place where I didn’t have my usual expensive de-frizz stuff, so in desperation I used body lotion. I will never go back to expensive de-frizz stuff. Body lotion takes out all the frizz, gives my hair even more body, it is really soft, and it smells lovely. So that is my extra advice – use body lotion on your hair… I am not sure how it will work out with your straight hair, Karen, but I bet you will share photos for our laughing pleasure!

  7. Melody says:

    I can’t help with the menopause thing, but maybe with the curls. My hair is also curly/wavy, but I didn’t really know until I was past 30. Before that, I had spent all my time blowing it out and then curling it with hot rollers. I think you need product to make the curls clump together before you diffuse or air dry. Possibly also just curls in the back and straighter in the front. The layers you usually have in the back of your hair probably help release the curls.

  8. KiwiKat says:

    In the past two years (since she turned 70) my mothers hair is straight on top and grows crimped underneath (like 80’s rare skirt and neon leg warmers crimped) and sticks out everywhere…her hairdresser has just about given upo trying to fix it and mum is settling in to the “I’m old, I don’t give a s…..” mindset….

  9. Lanie Day says:

    I did menopause at the same time as:
    divorce
    financial ruin
    kid off to college
    moving to a different city
    dating
    caring for a family member with dementia
    going back to college
    raising a grandbaby
    and a partridge in a pear tree

    Pot is wonderful for relieving menopause rage, depression, and anxiety ! Antidepressants made me feel like nails on a blackboard, although I did stop crying at the littlest things. Anti-anxiety meds put me to sleep. Hormone replacement therapy was costly and I had no health insurance. (a shout out to all the fat cats in the USA government) A little marijuana was sometimes the attitude adjustment needed.

  10. Lisa says:

    My menopause story: Called my brother, the doctor. Told him I thought I needed HRT. He asked me why. I said because I either want to kill myself or everybody else. But I’m worried about breast cancer. Brother said, “If we’re talking about murder or suicide, I think maybe you should try the HRT (no fam history of BC).” Then I got the patch. No murders or suicides were committed and I slowly cut the patch down over the course of about a year. I MADE IT. Now I’m post menopause (63) and am care-taking my demented mom. Anxiety is back. It’s hard being a girl…
    I also fully endorse the weighted blanket! Help me sleep like nothing else. You can make one yourself, because you know how to do everything. But I bought mine and it has saved me lots of sleepless nights.

    • Cathy says:

      Many, many yrs on HRT, and I still have small flashes. But I’m trying to get off them at age 68. I’ve thought about a weighted blanket but I’m in the fence. What weight/brand do you recommend? Insomnia is stil an issue, even though I’m retired.

  11. Vikki says:

    I had a HORRIBLE time with menopause. (still do.) One doctor looked me straight in the eye and said “it’s all in your head.” !!!! Like he would know!! Another gift of menopause you haven’t gotten to yet is—weight gain. No matter if you try to exist on air, you will put on weight. A lot of it. Plain iceberg lettuce will automatically make you gain 5 pounds. And your menopause will not recognize any effort at exercise. So many gifts…….
    But I did like your Nick Nolte comment. (snort!!)

    • Lisa says:

      I was advised to get one that’s about 10% of your body weight. Mine’s 13 pounds. I bought mine from Mosaic Weighted Blankets. I love them because you can design you own from their fabric selection. And because the company was started by a woman who years ago became the mom of an autistic child. She learned to make them for him. Now she has a large company that sells directly on the web.

  12. Leslie says:

    I went through menopause about 9 years ago with virtually no trouble. And I’m calmer and nicer than I was before (which is only sometimes nice).
    I was on a low dose of anti-depressants anyway. Maybe that helped.
    But now my main worry is my thinning hair. My hair was already fine and thin to begin with, but now one can see my scalp!
    I’m trying Rogaine. Meanwhile, my doc gives me a vaginal estrogen cream, which I’m not crazy about but is, honestly, essential.
    Good luck! There are some definitely upsides to having gone through ‘the change.’

  13. Renee King says:

    Wow! Menopause. ;-) Cannabis is not something I would have thought of for symptom relief. For other things though…

  14. Paula says:

    My “menoperm” started just like yours, curling in the back. Slowly, slowly it moved to the front and then I let it blossom. Secret to my happiness was in finding a great hair cutter (who, incidentally has retired from that but comes to my home at a greatly reduced price) who will do what I want. Menopause wasn’t bad but 20 years later I still have night sweats. Now I smell like a high school locker room after a boys’ basketball game every.single.morning. Oh well, could be worse. I like my curly hair!

  15. Carol says:

    I’ve had horrible hot flashes for years (had a hysterectomy 28 years ago . . . am 59 years old now). A month or so ago I started using Estro-Life (Paraben Free – $29.95 on Amazon) in the morning and Progesto-Life ($18.95 on Amazon) in the evening. I noticed the difference the very first day. I may have a hot flash a couple times a week now (instead of multiple per hour), but even those are nowhere near the intensity they was before. The products are made by Smoky Mountain Naturals. No more brain fog and I feel amazingly better all around! I have no connection to Smoky Mountain Naturals . . . just a very satisfied customer. I wish I’d found these products 15 years ago!!!

  16. Carol Marais says:

    OMG! I had the easiest menopause ever and had no idea it was due to the anti depressant. (Guess I thought I was special.) I highly recommend this approach to the process.

    • Melissa says:

      Not all antidepressants help. I had been on Zoloft for years and I still had hot flashes on and on every night. I was seriously sleep deprived. My doctor added venaflaxine and that seriously reduced the number and intensity. Not perfect, but much better. Also improved my “impatience” level.

    • Melissa says:

      PS, I couldn’t take any forms of estrogen. It gave me (I know, TMI here) vaginitis. I had to weigh bad sleep at night to feeling uncomfortable all day long. Sleep won out.

  17. Marcia says:

    I didn’t have a really terrible menopause (which I took to be my reward for having horrible cramps since my period first started). I had what I would call mild hot flashes, and I don’t remember the mood swings. But the hot flashes were enough for me to try to figure out a way to ease them. I was in that generation where HRT was bad, so I searched for a natural solution. I read that taking vitamin E would help with hot flashes. You start with one capsule and gradually work up to an amount that eases the symptoms. It seemed to help.

    As for your hair…I found these things called Curl Formers that I love! I too am hair styling challenged and have spent hours putting rollers in or trying to blow dry some semblance or style into my fine, bodyless hair only to look in the mirror and immediately stick my head under a faucet to wash it out and start over. Then I found the Curl Formers. My hair is about chin length right now and that seems to be the optimum length for me. Here’s a link to the ones for shortish hair, but there are many choices. You just have to make sure you get a kit with the hooks to start with: https://amzn.to/2LVOvsn

    Good luck!

  18. Beth P says:

    oh god, please write more about the insanity of menopause. I’m actually weaning off the crazy pills I went on for anxiety now that I’m mostly through.

    I use light therapy for the sleeplessness. We all have receptors in our eyes that when exposed to bright light in the morning help regulate our melatonin and circadian rhythm. I’m a non-believer but was desperate and it’s helped. I sit and do email/calls overseas on the weekdays so it’s easy to have it on for 20+ minutes. Sleeping helps with managing the anxiety.

    Supposedly so does meditation, but I just can’t. But when I can’t fall asleep or flash awake in the middle of the night, I design fonts in my mind out of things like spaghetti, twigs, bobbypins. This is because I’ve already learnt the alphabet backwards.

  19. Denise says:

    Menopause is like one of those surprise boxes you order from hatcheries where they throw in whatever weird bird they have left over that day. I think someone sits upstairs and randomly picks out unrelated symptoms to throw at menopausal women just to screw with us…. I drew phantom fevers. I had gone through so many labs I was anemic, and countless courses of antibiotics but every month brought another week-long high fever with no other symptoms. Then I found a chat room full of women discussing their menopause fevers and I realized what was going on. Thank God for Google…

  20. Alice says:

    My anxiety was giving me severe chest pains. Finally went to doctors and had blood work done, ECG and chest x-ray. All clear. I do however have the beginnings of anemia. Am now eating more iron rich foods. My pains are gone. Doctor also gave me Ativan for when I really need it. Have taken 1 in the past six weeks. I’ve also started taking Metamucil Fibre pills every day – just 2. This has also helped. Just some thoughts.

  21. Kari in Dallas says:

    Menopause is bullshit. It’s yet another thing no one prepares you for. Kind of like period cramps, weird hairs growing everywhere, and the importance of cleaning out your shower drain.

    I’m over it, but quite pleased to know I’m not the only one pissed, anxious and carrying around 10 extra pounds of water weight gain (yup, another thing no one tells you.)

    God I wish weed was legal here in Texas. For now I have to rely upon the kindness of my neighbors and my son. And that’s even weirder.

  22. Amy says:

    Did your cholesterol jump? I just had some blood work done for my annual physical, and my cholesterol, which last year was 158, jumped to 213. My appointment with my doctor isn’t till this coming Thursday, but this bums me out. I switched to a whole food plant based diet a couple of years ago to help bring down my cholesterol, and now that menopause has hit (I think about 3 months ago), it looks like that isn’t enough. I’ve been fortunate in that I haven’t had any other symptoms, but I do eat a lot of soy on this diet, which I understand helps a lot with that. Then again, maybe my week-long trip to Paris a few weeks ago had an effect. I tried to eat mostly healthy there, but can’t get away from butter there!

    • Lisa says:

      From reading about cholesterol, it seems cholesterol is necessary to repair your cells, and the real danger is having too much LDL, which can clump and clog as opposed to HDLs which are larger and fluffy. So it is the ratio of these two that is important. Mine was high too (and may still be, although no one seems interested in checking) but my ratios and HDL were good. There seems to be controversy about cholesterol medication and its possible side effects.

      • Amy says:

        Lisa,

        Thanks for your reply. Yes, my LDL jumped as well, and HDL didn’t move much, so my ratio is now terrible. My ratio was great before. I will talk to my doctor on Thursday, she had sent me a note with my lab results asking if I had gone through menopause because it turns out that is a factor.

  23. Charlene says:

    Menopause is a bitch! I was determined to get through it because it is a natural stage of life. I bought enough hand held fans to compete with my collection of reading glasses. Then my doctor (a female who has yet to experience MP) sent me to the “boob” doctor to get a second opinion of my ultrasound. He said the ultrasound was fine but then said “Have you thought about hormone replacement therapy?” I was shocked as I had not said anything about my long nights of hot flashes. I guess the fact that the bags under my eyes were bigger than my boobs was a tip off. He suggested some reading material (on the internet) and said to discuss with my doctor. That went something like this:
    Me: I think I need HRT.
    Doctor: You’re post menopausal and I only subscribe it for premenopausal.
    Me: When the hell did menopause happen? The last time I was here a few months ago I was pre and now you claim I’m post? My hot flashes are worse not better. Boob Doctor said…
    Doctor: Then why didn’t he prescribe it for you?
    Me: Because you are my doctor!
    Doctor: What do you want?
    Me: I don’t want horse piss.
    Doctor: Well I will only do this because you are in good health. It would be easier if you had had a hysterectomy.
    Me: This would be easier if I could get some sleep! Women are not bitchy because of the actual lack of hormones as much as the actual loss of sleep. I want patches.
    I then released her throat and she wrote me a prescription.
    My next visit I told her how many lives she saved (including hers).
    Hope you find a solution that works for you! And thank you for addressing the topic.

    • Marcia says:

      I don’t want to laugh because I’m sure your experience was horrible, but this “I then released her throat and she wrote me a prescription.
      My next visit I told her how many lives she saved (including hers)” was just hilarious.

      • Cherie says:

        This post made me laugh out loud. Thanks. It’s crazy busy on Dec. 17th — my gawd, Christmas is just a week from now — but I read every single one of these comments. Maybe by Dec. 28, I’ll be ready, the tree will be decorated, and I will…. I had the world’s worst menopause. It started, I swear, on my honeymoon in 1989. My poor husband had married a screaming harpy who kept him up all night for all the wrong reasons. At 75, I still get the occasional hot flash. Go, Karen. This, too, will pass. Merry Holidays.

  24. Mary W says:

    Smiling and reading your blog while comfortably sitting in my easy chair drinking coffee, I casually clicked to the 16 yo in bed and as I do every time, I laughed out loud, peeked back at the surprising picture, then laughed again. I need to make a copy, layer another plain paper over the top, hang it on my kitchen wall, then write over the top – open if your day needs help. It has to be a surprise as that makes it magic. I can see it over and over again in my head after the first surprise viewing – pure magic. I love you.

  25. Christine says:

    Please dont hate me. I went through menopause without any symptoms,not one hot flash EVER. I mentioned it to my G.P. one day and he kinda rolled his eyes like l was dumb and said “Well of course you don’t.You are on Prozac.lt helps regulate your hormones.” Just a thought.

  26. Leslie Best says:

    So a good week then?! 🤣🤣

  27. Noreen Mckechnie says:

    Going through menopause I had cold spells, not many but they sure were weird. Must say that it was good to hear someone else endured them. I really want to recommend a book The Vagina Bible by Jen Gunter. She gives a great deal of common sense as a woman gyno .

  28. Ann says:

    I was just about to suggest L-theonine. It’s supposed to be wonderful for anxiety.

  29. John says:

    I appreciate these updates; they feel almost episodic and digestible without being flippant. Kudos on striking that balance.

    However, a smidge of proofreading could help.

    I read your posts aloud to my partner, who enjoys them as well.

  30. Jen says:

    I actually curled my hair last night too…for the first time in years. I was unaware of the #Hallmarkeffect…but it all makes sense now. ;)

    This was so freakin funny. The pic of your Mom at the counter alone…pure gold.

  31. Jane says:

    Now that’s what I want for Christmas: that antique wicker market basket! What a gorgeous piece!

  32. Deb says:

    Hey Karen

    Loved this one. I tried a perm ONCE a long time ago. When my deaf two year old ran from the room screaming knew I would never do it again. Haha. Have you thought about a weighted blanket. I was sceptical, but got one in the fall. Was having trouble sleeping through the night, I would wake up and then my head wouldn’t shut off. Anything and everything would be racing through it. Use it regularly for about two weeks to get me back to some kind of regular sleep. Now when the mice start running in my head, I use it again, it seems to have done the trick for me. BTW, I’m 61 and was premenopausal til I was 56 then IT hit. I’m not one for pills (my problem is I forget to take them, so I figure why waste the money). so have gone through IT without anything. Keep up the hilarious posts, I love when I wake up in the morning and get to read you posts.

  33. Maria says:

    I have a lifelong experience with my hair doing weird things on different sides of my head but since menopause, my hair has been curly. It was straight before. Not blossoming curly but a nice full body curly. It’s very nice. Sometimes you just deal the hand life gives you though and put down the hair dryer. You got to know when to fold’em. Know when to hold’em. Know when to walk away and when to run. kinda thing.

    Anxiety is definitely a thing in menopause. It was for me. The lowest dose of lorazepam worked best. I took it at night right before bed. Since you have this doctor, you could ask her.

    Another thing I learned about menopause from Downton Abbey Season One is there is the BIRP. The Biological Imperative to Re Produce. The mom on the show got pregnant with a human during menopause. In your case, I bet it’s more baby chicks :)

  34. Val says:

    I heard a very smart herbalist (Guido Masé) about depression/anxiety and he’s right on. And when I say “herbalist” I’m not only talking about one particular “herb” although herbalists have been using cannabis for years. Did you realize the root can even be used for pain and it has no THC or CBD. I have a root lineament I was given and it really does work. So.. back to Guido. He said “Depression comes from thinking about your past, Anxiety from thinking about the future”. That is why being in the now (moment, present…) is so great. You are in a space of no anxiety or depression just appreciating what is in front of you. (unless you are freaking out about loosing your “wheels” in the middle of the street. I love Hallmark movies, they make it all shinny, bright and perfect for a while. How about some oat straw infusions (tea but it brews longer at a slow simmer). They are very calming and nutritious. (and good for your hair) Horses eat oats and look how good their hair looks :)

    • Karen says:

      I eat oatmeal every morning! Plus I throw in a handful of my homegrown wheat berries. So I’m covered. :) The anxiety really is due to nothing. I’m not worried about a thing. :/ Although his explanation of depression vs anxiety is brilliant! ~ karen

  35. Kim says:

    I don’t have a CBD, market basket or curly hair story but I can offer a more positive meno-story. Age 49, totally out of the blue, not only hot flashes but also COLD flashes (what?…cold flashes?!) and many sleepless nights. I was an RN yet had never heard of cold flashes, but, oh yeah, learned from Dr. Google and my older RN co-workers that they’re a thing. Was reluctant to try anything too out there (being a nurse and all) but after four months, decided on black cohosh and after four months of it I was back to my ol’ self. That was 10 years ago and nary a hot or cold flash or any other meno-symptom since then. I wish you a short, uneventful menopause – although that would make for less funny blogs.

    • Lush says:

      OMG!!! I have been having these for ages & had no idea they were related to menopause!!! I get really, really, really cold &have to put on socks, jammies & even a wrap or sweater then go to bed. Only to later have to throw everything off when I come back to “normal” temp.

      My health folks have been banging on at me about MP for years but now when I finally started to ask they have become totally disinterested. Frustrating to say the least.

      Thank you.

      Lush

  36. Wendy says:

    Nick Nolte BRILLIANT ~ I thought you looked like Christopher Lloyd from back to the future. Love Betty, I can’t imagine sitting in Hello Cannabis parking lot, and she has her nose up to the glass inside! To be honest I thought they were dildoes at first.

  37. Belinda says:

    Karen, This is the first close up I’ve seen of your gorgeous skin. My gosh, you Canadian girls age well. I hope you have functional medicine doctors near you. The trio of hormone drops they sell are nothing short of amazing; They are not inexpensive, but you won’t have to take them long.
    For the hair, have you tried air drying and putting in velcro rollers after a couple of hours? Please don’t make fun of me. I offer the suggestion in peace. These rollers work Hallmark Christmas movie scale miracles.

    • Karen says:

      No! I have terrible skin! Very dry. I started using Dermalogica products about 8 months ago (the serum and a heavy nighttime moisturizer) and I was STUNNED at how well they worked. I had chicken skin on my neck and it’s almost 100% gone. I can’t pinpoint what it does on my face, but it just evens everything out, lightens dark spots and makes everything more glowy. ~ karen!

      • Debbie says:

        Your skin does look great. At 60 my skin isn’t too bad but don’t ask about my eye lids. Have you tried any of the eye products? Inquiring minds want to know.

  38. Cathy says:

    My story: total hysterectomy at age 44, went on hormone replacement therapy—HRT—
    Then inexplicably at age 55 they quit working. Next 10 yrs my Doc and I tried all sorts of doses, patches, and creams. Finally settled on what I’m told is a quite high dose of estrogen but I still had some hot flashes. Mild ones but not totally gone. But at least the crying stopped and I was finally convinced that other people didn’t hate me nor were they trying to get me fired. Insomnia reared it’s ugly head but I soldiered one. Retired now, age 68 moved 2300 miles from hometown with my Fella to the desert. New doc, says my problem is likely vascular, not hormonal. I cut dosage in half then 12/1 greed to stop completely for 3 months. Does the fact I’m typing this very personal info to you, a stranger, at 3:30 am Az time for even more strangers to read seem odd? Did I mention I’ve had 2 hot flashes since I began typing this? Have I mentioned how jealous I am my Fella (and dog) are enjoying blissful REM sleep? Well I’ve got news, sister, YA CANT FIRE ME FOR BEING RETIRED!! So there. Oh wait, did I just yell? Sorry.

  39. Trish says:

    I couldn’t take it and got the bio identical pellets inserted. Every 12 weeks! Good luck.

    • Lora says:

      What amazed me was the utter lack of discussion from my OB. I hadn’t been in two years – was pretty much “done” and she says – “well, you’re done with M.” No questions about symptoms, not even a fake look of concerned interest. When I asked her about my sex is I need redesign to go to a second sex class. Ummm – no I do dont. I left – literally in tears. I was so eager to hear the medical side of the side of this experience only to be told to go to a class..? She was young. I hope she gets more support when she goes through it.

  40. Heather says:

    Hi Karen,

    You are so funny! I love reading your posts, you surely do not look 47, you hardly have any wrinkles at all.

    You could try and get some Theonine for your anxiety. It is totally toxic free, natural and has no side effects. My 80 year old mother-in-law (with dementia) lived with us for nearly 3 years and she suffered from anxiety which got worse with each passing year. It did my head in ! I got on google and discovered Theonine, it is an extract from green tea without any of the bad things, and it really works! I tell people about it all the time, my son takes it when he has something big coming up and my husband should be taking it but doesn’t. I don’t need it haha.

  41. I love you, Karen! You always give me a good laugh and inspiration.

    Re menopause — it’ll pass. Just hold on until it does.

  42. Julie Anne says:

    You’re the best. Thanks for all laughs.

  43. Judith says:

    You seem too young for menopause but I’m surely wrong. I was 47 and convinced I was dying. But it was only good old menopausal symptoms.
    It was as if my entire system went out of whack. My thyroid wigged out, my face fell in, my hair went wonky and I kept fainting. I took hormones and started bleeding in all the wrong places. I couldn’t sleep through the night either. The only part I enjoyed was the hot flashes because I was always cold from my thyroid issues. Suddenly I was so freaking hot. I loved it. I asked my dr. Why this was all happening at once and he said “ well Mother Nature never intended humans to live this long. Breeding years are over so your body is just shutting down.” I was 47! Now I feel fine but it was ugly for about four years.
    So welcome to the crones club. It does get better.

  44. Jani Wolfe says:

    You are so frigging funny!! Had a sad day, all day, so reading this made me forget my sorrows. I laughed so hard that I peed myself and had to jump off the chair before it went through my jeans.
    Thank you so much for getting me out of my funk. I really needed it and you came through like the trooper that you are.

  45. suzanne says:

    The anxiety was horrible!!!!! Worse than the hot flashes. It will get better. Give me ALL THE HORMONES! I’m hoping you share your research on the topic as it’s scary and contradicting. Good luck to you and see you on the post menopausal side. Your mother is adorable.

  46. Kay says:

    Fantastic! When you find out how these Hallmark peeps get their teeth so white that they glow in the dark, please let us know. Don’t get me going on “When Calls the Heart”! I was merrily watching it until I realized how perfect the teeth, hair and makeup was out in the Klondike wilderness of the 1800’s.

  47. Elida Zamarron says:

    Is Nick Nolte still there… I miss him……….
    OMG!!! I pee’d myself reading this…..ROFL

  48. SuzyWyz says:

    I have found that a paper clip works really well when the wheel falls off. In fact my cart still has that same paper clip. As far as the farmer goes, his high school girlfriend came to town and right now they’re in the middle of trying to save Christmas. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  49. Wendy Thomson says:

    I’ve always had difficult hair. But, when I reached menopause to my amazement my hair started to curl. But, true to form it only curled in clumps, here and there on my head. After years of trying to deal with it I’ve now resorted to getting a perm a couple of times a year. So, thank you for your confession, I’ve told people this and always get a bug eyed look of disbelief.

  50. Marilyn Meagher says:

    Hahahahahahahahahah. Too much.

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