This week I realized that sometimes I hate people, but I'm still a good person because I don't tell them I hate them, I just quietly seethe and wish awful things upon them. Like producing a dense loaf of bread.
There are so many factors going on right now that could very well lead to a complete meltdown of society. I'm sure you agree.
The most tragic of course being the fact that all the world's baking supplies have been kidnapped and held hostage by a disorganized conglomerate of people who don't bake.
I could deal these people who are hoarding the flour that they will never bake with but THE DAHLIAS. The dahlia tubers are also disappearing into the hands of people who don't garden.
Don't get me wrong, I don't blame these people for suddenly wanting to become bakers and gardeners, I mean that's what my entire site promotes; doing stuff. It's just that, at the moment, I hate those people.
If you read last week's post you learned about my obsession with Charlie McCormick and his dahlia border. I decided to apply it to my house, running the complete length of my picket fence. This week I organized an entire colour scheme for my dahlia border.
Table of Contents
Dahlia Colour Palette
The only problem is from the time I made my orders to the time they were received, tubers were already sold out. I'm now missing and on the hunt for two water lily dahlias to replace the Yvonne Pink and Pam Howden and something to step in for the salmony Parkland Tribute dahlia which was also unavailable.
In order to maintain my sanity I'm going to imagine they're safely tucked in someone's dirt right now, not the bottom of their shoe closet.
COOKIES
After being assaulted with all manner of cookies on Instagram last week I wiped my face of dahlia tears, took some flour out of the safe and got baking.
I made ginger snap cookies that were so ugly I didn't take a picture of them but were so delicious I had to tell you about them. Don't ask for the recipe though because I'm not allowed to share it. It was offered to me by someone I follow on Instagram with the condition I don't share it. So I won't.
The notion did make me smile a bit. That in this age of the Internet where recipes are shared faster than hand sanitizer at a hospital, people are still keeping recipes secret. There's something inherently old fashioned and charming about it that I love. Of course I can say that since the recipe was indeed shared with me.
If, on the other hand, he had said he had the world's best ginger snap recipe but he couldn't share it with me, I would have lumped him in with the baking thieves and dahlia hoarders.
HAIR
Yup. I curled my hair again. Actually, I only had to curl the sides side the back is now, inexplicably curly.
I don't hate it. I don't love it. I accept it. According to one Instagram reader I look ... and I quote ...
"... like a frugal billionaire that donates a lot to charity, does yoga and surfs every day right outside her house every day just to humble-brag."
I think I look like Moira Rose. So we're both right.
My friend hair and makeup artist Andrea told me to get this T3 curling iron so that's the one I got. I am incapable of good judgement on my own when it comes to hair products.
WALKIES
I am doing my best to force/cajole/trick Betty into walking.
It takes quite a long time just to get around the block because she's always stopping to conduct a non-existent orchestra.
Betty on the left, me on the right.
Just kidding. We were doing shadow puppets and it was her turn to attempt an elephant. You can see it if you look really hard.
Just kidding. She was yelling at a neighbour who was smoking pot.
Just kidding. She was beckoning him over.
First Flowers
No community garden still (it probably won't open up for another week) but I did manage to scrabble a few flowers together from my front yard to make a small bouquet.
2 regular and 1 specialty tulip plus a bunch of muscari (grape hyacinths) didn't make much fo an arrangement so I added the only other green stuff around, climbing hydrangea and a few wisps of honeysuckle.
TIDYING
The highs and lows in one's life can be measured not by the actual events but by how we react to them. This week I reacted by pathologically tidying. What's pathological tidying? I'm not entirely sure of the definition but I *can* tell you that it takes place at 3 o'clock in the morning.
In the past week I've cleaned up my front yard, back yard, organized, swept, vacuumed, put away and categorized most of my belongings. I also took my basement apart and reconfigured my grow light set up and all the seedlings I started. 3 a.m. seemed to be the most appropriate time to do this.
The pathological tidying isn't because I have more time on my hands, I'm still working the same amount I always have, it's because I'm wanting to feel some sort of control I think.
That and the fact that when you literally go nowhere other than home, you really want the home you're in to be as nice as possible.
Also, I found my sofa was getting gritty with cheese popcorn powder, potato chip crumbs and desperation.
Thinking of putting in a cutting garden now are you? Here are some of the things I grow most years that do well and aren't difficult to keep alive. Along with flour and yeast, eggs seem to be hard for some people to find as well. Here's my quick guide to seeing if your eggs are still fresh just by looking at them. Because today we need all the fun we can get. Even if it's in the form of slicing a cucumber. This is a pretty quick and easy plate rack DIY. I made two of these (as you can see in the post) but only had one of them in my kitchen. This week I brought the other one up from the basement and that resulted in 3 hours fo rearranging my kitchen. I'm sure you've been there. In keeping with my relentless (and uncharacteristic) clenaing and tidying, this week I showed you how to refill a Swiffer wet jet. Shaving without shaving cream! Yup, another thing I did this week because I do it every week. I was pleasantly surprised to see how many other people use this trick! Bacon wraps are normally reserved for Christmas but these are extraordinary circumstances so I urge you, for your own mental health, to make some. I found 3 in my freezer this week and it was like finding 3 miniature, tasty psychiatrists.What I've Been Doing This Week
Growing a Cutting Garden.
3 Ways To Tell How Old Your Eggs Are Just By Looking At Them.
Fun way to slice a cucumber!
An Easy DIY Plate Rack.
Finally! How to Refill a Swiffer Wet Jet Bottle.
How to Shave Without Shaving Cream.
Salty & Sweet Bacon Wrap Appetizers.
→Follow me on Instagram where I often make a fool of myself←
Jacquie Gariano
Love today's post, still catching up on e-mail, as usual, But I just love them all. Love the hair. Looks great. I, too can't wait for my hair stylist to open, Gov Newsome says in "the next couple of weeks" not soon enough. Beautiful flowers. We have planted our garden here in Roseville, CA. near Sacto. Hot days coming this weekend. I also have been being good about not hording (not really difficult with all the horders there are here) but even so. I also can't flin flour or yeast. I have been ordering mine from King Arthur Flour in Vermont. But even they have a long waiting time. I can't wait till I can go back there. Have kids and grand kids there and spend the summer each year to escape the heat here and take cooking classes.
Keep well and keep letting us share your life, I just love you and your "stuff"
P.S. I would be up at 3AM doing "stuff" too if I didn't live with my daughter and son-in-law who frown on my traipsing around in the middle of the night, esp in my Jammies.
Petra
If you are still looking for those Dahlia's... check out Eden Brothers. At least on the website it doesn't say yet: sold out! Good luck: https://www.edenbrothers.com/store/15-dahlias.html?utm_source=Eden+Brothers+Newsletter&utm_campaign=283c06b57b-200509E+15%25+15+Dahlias&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_a64e0a53b2-283c06b57b-44534901&mc_cid=283c06b57b&mc_eid=f4c2b2e1bb
Karen
Hi Petra. I ended up finding sources for all the dahlias I wanted. :) They'll be planted this weekend. Yay! ~ karen!
jayne penticost
I just LLllloooovveee your writing Karen; so blunt but in a nice way and your choice of diction; well, it is truly amusing!!! I have tried to follow some people before but I get bored very quickly; you on the other hand are quite a riveting read!! We have a lot in common too; my brother-in-law shows dahlias and grows them in our allotment, my daughter is a Betty (Downs Syndrome) 40 in June, and I`m a qualified chef for my sins. Anyway, my darling, keep up the good work and being a secret misanthrope is not a sin in my estimation???!!!
Karen
Well thanks Jayne! My fingers are crossed that you don't get bored with me. Although it's inevitable. I mean, I'm honestly quite bored with myself at this point, but my community garden opens up tomorrow so that's likely to change. ~ karen!
Gary Boutin
Hi Karen, I thought you hair was fine. I really didn't see any curls it looked natural to me, I guess that the point. New Air Iron, we men buy tools you should get the tool that makes your life easier, if it an flat iron then that your tool. As for the bread flour, people are just going crazy it will end soon. I hope! As for the flowers you choices are beautiful and should make your home wonderful. The only flower I am planting this year is Marigolds to protect my plants. It get so hot here in Riverside California (Southern California) that nothing lives unless its a cactus. I really like how you stated you hated some hoarders, but you also would make them rock hard bread. That's what I like about this Blog is that you are genuine. Today my pole beans and my bush beans came up, so happy. As for carrots and peppers, only one pepper came up. Arg. Have a great day looking forward to reading more. Gary
Karen
Thanks Gary! And good luck with your peppers. One is all you need so keep it alive, lol! ~ karen
Jill
Same, girl, same. I'm glad people are doing things and getting back to their roots, but stop hoarding things! I know sourdough is having a moment right now, but unless you're a cray person (like me) who refuses to waste the daily discard...sourdough uses SO MUCH FLOUR! and our stores are out of flour. I wish everyone's new hobby of choice was composting, or swatting mosquitoes...or something that still adds to the net benefit of our planet, but without consuming hobby resources. lol.
Joyce
There are two old ladies in my ‘hood who bragged about all the stuff they “stocked up on”. I just know neither of them have ever baked bread in their lives! My neighbor and I pick up flour and yeast and tp for each other when we shop.
I cut my hair with these little bitty scissors, I look like a 90’s rocker! Today I grated lavender soap and made soft soap for our dispensers! Later I will cut down dog food sacks to make planting bags for potatoes.
I am getting used to this locked down stuff!
If Spring would come I could plant,
Christine Hilton
The new hair makes you look younger.That is all that matters.l have a ginger recipe that bites you.The secret is candied ginger,ginger and cayenne.l dont make them much anymore because l could never eat less than 12 at a time.
Karen
I secretly altered this recipe and added candied ginger to it as well. :) ~ karen!
Tina
As far as shaving without shaving cream, I bought a bottle of Kirkland shampoo and conditioner in one and don't like the way it makes my hair feel. The conditioner is too heavy for my hair. So instead I use it as shaving soap/cream. The conditioner is great for freshly scrapped skin and my legs and pits feel wonderful and soft afterward. My alternative would have been to toss it so I find this much better!
Cherie
My husband re humanity: "I am not prejudiced at all. I hate everyone equally." He is not really that awful, but he is less sociable than I so not finding the isolation as difficult. Messenger video chats and Zoom are saving my sanity. On the curling iron: everyone has spent an inordinately high cost on something they own and clearly that curling iron does the job and gives you pleasure, so why not? I got teased/chastised for spending a few hundred on a natural fibre body pillow. It and I have a very happy relationship and I NEVER feel guilty or that I have to justify the expense of it -- and my back, too, loves it. Happy curling!
Jacquie Gariano
Always spend money on something you love and that gives you joy and pleasure. You are worth it, always.