My mother says she doesn’t believe in massage.  The same way you’d say you don’t believe in ghosts or unicorns. I can understand not believing in Going out of Business Sales, but massage?  Betty has a healthy scepticism of a lot of things including but not limited to men, cheap shoes and expiration dates on food.  So when I told her I was thinking of writing a book I expected the same healthy amount of Betty scepticism she had for many other things in in the world.

And I got it!  “Someone wants you to write a book?  Who? What would you write about?  What makes them think you should write a book?  That’s weird.”  Betty isn’t necessarily convinced I’m a writer, although in these past few years I suspect she’s coming closer to realizing I do indeed write things.  Curiously that doesn’t necessarily make me a writer.

Like a lot of people, my mother associates being a writer with having things printed on a page that are either delivered to your door or bought in a shop.  If it is free, is delivered on your computer and doesn’t involve any swarthy characters or plot twists … it’s not really writing.  And I kind of agree.

Well not really, but let me explain.  It used to be, to have others read your writing you had to go through other people, smart people who wore tweed and smelled of paper before anyone else in the world was allowed to read your writing.  These bookish people who instantly knew 1,437 different synonyms for any given word off the top of their heads were known as editors, agents and publishers. If you could find a bunch of those kind of people who would all confirm that you were a good writer they might allow you to make your writing public.  Books, magazines, newspapers.  Print.  Actual ink to paper print was the only way for a writer’s work to be made available to the world not so long ago.

Unless you count television and movie writing which no one does for some reason even though without those writers your favourite shows wouldn’t be your favourite shows.

Now?  Now anyone with a keyboard, a few fingers or even a mouth with a pencil in it can tap out anything they want and send it not only to a few bookstores, but to the entire universe with the click of the return key.  Now everybody can be a writer.  Maybe not a great one, maybe not even a mediocre one but a writer nonetheless.

But even I, someone who writes in exactly that way, clacking away on my laptop keyboard until it’s time to send it out into the world, thinks that a having a book makes you a “real” writer. It’s partly because of the notion that some really intelligent people, people who have been trained to spot good and bad writing are willing to let you into that circle of printed word authors.  They believe in you.  THEY think you’re a real writer.  Or at the very least they think you’ll make them money, which is really what it boils down to for the publishers.

For me, writing a book is more about ego than anything else.  A writer makes almost no money on their first book and if that first book doesn’t sell well there is no second book.  But it’s a book.  A hard covered book that the writer can put in their bookshelf or on their coffee table and marvel at.  That’s my book.  I am a writer.  It’s ego.

As it turns out I don’t have time for ego.  Writing a book takes an insane amount of time.  I knew that when a literary agent from New York (being from New York makes anyone seem more valid) contacted me a couple of years ago and asked if I was interested in writing a book.  I knew I didn’t have time, I knew I used all my best ideas in my blog and yet I knew I wanted to write a book.  Why?  Ego.  I wanted to see that book, printed and sitting on my coffee table.

It took me a year to write the proposal for the book (you have to write a proposal which your literary agent then shops around to publishers) with the help of my agent. She’s GREAT.  She just gave me little bits at a time to do and made it almost manageable. But a year?  It should not take someone a year to write a book proposal.  Once it was finished we were both really, really happy with it and so she sent it off into to the next round of smart, tweed clad people, the publishers and THEY liked it too. And that’s where things ground to a halt.  You know who didn’t like it?  The sales department.

We had written a proposal based on my blog, so it was DIY projects, engaging writing and great photos.  By the time I finished the proposal the demand for DIY books had disappeared.  NOW people wanted “lifestyle” books according to the sales departments at every publisher.  I didn’t even know what a “lifestyle” book was.  I still don’t.    So Maria, my agent, asked if I’d consider redoing the proposal and making it a “lifestyle” book.  She believes in me and the potential success of my book.  I’m guessing Maria also believes in massage.

But for now the book is on hold.  I haven’t said no, but I’m not exactly rushing to write another proposal for a book that may or may not be accepted by the smart people and which I’m guaranteed to make no money on after spending 2 years writing it, a year promoting it and … and … and …

Judging from my last sentence there, it’s probably a wise decision.

So no book for now.  But writing? I’ll continue writing.  Because I am indeed a writer.  And I don’t need no smart person telling me so.

Have a good weekend!


  1. Hedwigg says:

    Tell your mom Betty you love her for always inspiring your new creative prompts.
    Also hug your chickens from me. 😁

  2. Stan Nowak says:

    I’ve been fortunate enough to have been published in various media, hardcopy and electronically – mostly about Dundas history – and I must admit that there is a special thrill about seeing your name out there in ‘black and white ‘ attached to a story or article that’s been a ‘labour of love’ (at least I have felt that way with anything I have written). It’s said that everyone on Earth has at least one good book in them, plus it’s so easy now to get stuff ‘out there’ nowadays! So I say to anyone who has – and wants – to write their story, Go For It! You will feel great for doing so!
    That being said, I’m working on a book now about ghosts in Dundas (working title: “Spirits Having Stayed”), so if anyone out there in the AODS e-universe has a story or two to pass along, please do share: basil.cottage@sympatico.ca

    • Karen says:

      I have a story about my house when I first moved in! ~ karen

      • Stan Nowak says:

        Oooo, please do tell – maybe you can write a post on it and invite readers to share their own thoughts and experiences. I personally DO believe in ghosts and would have a couple of tales to pass along

  3. Mark says:

    The lifestyle thing reminds me of the saying: I’m not poor, I just have a low income lifestyle.

    And you rock as a writer!

  4. Grammy says:

    You are a writer. A good one. You already know that. And people who know about writers know it, too, because one contacted YOU to ask you to write a book. Literary agents don’t make money unless they represent someone whose material sells, so they aren’t given to just contacting folks out of the blue because they like to be nice and make others feel good.

    But here’s the deal: publishing executives are fickle. What they wanted yesterday is just a little bit different from what someone else wrote last night, so today they want something just a little bit different from you. It will always be so. Remember what it was like when you were in television? Didn’t they always want something just a little bit different than what you wanted to do? And change their minds based on what someone else did? And didn’t you feel like you would rather do something where you had control and not the know-nothing fickle executives who consider the “talent” as just so much meat? Yeah, you remember.

    I’d buy whatever book you wrote in a minute. Lots of people would. If I wanted a frigging “lifestyle” book I could just further line the pockets of our dismal President’s vacuous daughter by buying her “lifestyle” book. I wouldn’t spend a nickel on such a book as hers. It’s cheap hard candy when I’m hungry for a really good bowl of chili.

    So, write a book if you want to, and write only the book you want. A lot of people would buy it. But, if you don’t want to spend your time compromising what you do in order to please some marketing whiz-kid who will be somewhere else by the time the wheels of commerce turn enough to actually get your book on some coffee tables, just keep doing what you do now. You’ve got a good thing going here.

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Grammy. I know I’m a good writer – or at least could be if given more than an hour a day to devote to it, and yes indeed I remember those television days. Every point you made is right. :) ~ karen!

  5. whitequeen96 says:

    Karen, I think you’re absolutely wonderful! You have a loyal and devoted following here because of your wit, creativity, and incredible hard work ethic. Mix those things with a substantial amount of wisdom, plus your insane energy, and you have written your own success story.
    Yes, publishing a book sounds very tempting. But I’ve reached the age when one recognizes the wisdom of the saying, “Don’t spread yourself thin!” If you’re not champing at the bit, not BURSTING with the need to write a book, don’t dilute your magic by taking on too much. (Besides, I’m still adjusting to 3 posts a week, versus the 5 you used to do, so I selfishly don’t want you to change anything!)

    • Karen says:

      That was two years ago, lol! ~ karen

      • whitequeen96 says:

        I know, and I still miss those 2 other posts. I would come here at the end of a hard day, looking for laughs and comfort. It was my reward. I’ll probably adjust in a couple of more years.

  6. Leslie Barnard says:

    I have thought for years that you should write a book but what I was picturing was a novel. Some story out of your head that gets you jazzed and curious and giggley. Something that you get entertained by. Something that is an adventure to write- that unfolds itself as you write it. By the time you’re done, the Universe, in all it’s wisdom, will have unfolded whatever means by which you should get it published. What about self publishing? what about a kickstarter? You have all these loving fans who will contribute. Who want you to write… Anything!
    If you’re inspired, follow that inspiration.

    • Karen says:

      I really just plain old don’t have the time for something that has so little return on time invested. :/ ~ karen!

  7. I totally understand your dilemma and feel your pain Karen. My husband, a firefighter, spent 5 years writing a children’s book about a kid, time traveling and fighting fires. Wholesome, exciting, nonviolent, adventurous, funny, everything you want in a tweener kid book. Editors loved it, Agent loved it, publishers loved it but the sales marketing people said it had to be about ZOMBIES!!! Because that’s what kids want now. ZOMBIES!!! So we self published and it sold out in local stores but that’s about it. Lots of time and money for nothing.

  8. Beth says:

    You could put your blog posts into a book and have it printed. Then you can put it on your coffee table.

  9. Erica says:

    You’re a great writer! And you have a great lifestyle. I would read anything you put out.
    I want to be a writer someday too. I’ll try not to wait til some smarty-pants tells me I am good enough. I’ll just go with what I’ve got!

  10. Audrey says:

    You write what you want, not what the world thinks they want to hear from you. You have amassed a following of folks who share your interests and appreciate what you do in your real world and how you tell that story. You’ve already written a book here. But I do understand the ego thing as I wrote a family history book and am damned proud of it. I self-published and sold over 100 copies to my family.

  11. Alena says:

    Please rework your proposal so it LOOKS like it will be a lifestyle book but please don’t change anything else. We love you as you are!

  12. Benjamin says:

    You can borrow my lifestyle idea of rainbows an glitter farts for your book if you need an idea.

  13. Becky Couch says:

    There is something “different” about you Karen. You stand out in a variety of ways. Your unique “lifestyle” is very intriguing and quite amazing. You are one disciplined, motivated, driven, creative Badass woman (not to mention killer humor and wit). I think you should consider staying on course with this book idea! One last thought…very few bloggers have your integrity. When you give an idea, product, process your stamp of approval….I trust it 100%. Don’t rule the book idea out….you have much to offer!

  14. shannon says:

    I agree with what so many others have said: if you want to write the book, write it. And I don’t know wtf a lifestyle book is either.

    I’ve often wondered if you would write a book, and I would definitely read it. But definitely do not self-publish! Glad you’re using an agent.

  15. Joanne says:

    First, I love your blog… I discovered it late-ish so I haven’t had a chance to go through all your previous writing – and when will that happen?? I don’t know, but I’m glad it’s there for the perusing. That’s whats so special about a blog – to your readers – it’s all there, past and present. However, I think I can understand the satisfaction you would get from an actual printed book. I do love books, too. I own several dozen (and keep buying) books on origami even though I could probably find everything I could imagine online.
    My daughter has been trying to get her own story published for years – it’s very frustrating – and it’s very tempting to give up. I want to be encouraging and optimistic but it’s a powerless feeling dealing with rejection from all those who have the “power”. So, I would say the same to you – keep the possibility open and I hope it happens for you. Positive thinking, right?? (oh pul-ease…snore… I’m boring myself, now…)
    In the meantime, please please keep doing stuff and telling us about it!!

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Joanne! But honestly, this is a bit of a backwards situation. I’m the one who doesn’t want me to write a book. :) Good luck to your daughter! ~ karen!

  16. And you know words, you have the best words.

  17. jaine kunst says:

    I read your blog everyday and I don’t waste time reading crap even by those writers who please the tweed clad people and are on the best seller lists. So write your book, or don’t but if you do, I’ll buy it because you is smart, you is funny AND you is a writer!

  18. Mary W says:

    Yes! You are a brilliant writer. I never considered the TV show writers to be “writers” until I read your argument. I always knew they wrote brilliantly since they kept be so VERY entertained but “writer” was reserved for the book form of writing, only. Never even considered playwriter as a “writer” until I typed the previous sentence – what a very tiny lens I used. A brilliant “writer” is someone that lets me experience another place/action. I not only experience other things through your writings, I learn from them, also – hence BRILLIANT it is! Thank you so much. (I think the very word writer is the reason for the misconception – it images visual thinking written down – which of course is paper full of writing.) Which leads to the obvious next question – why is there two t’s in written but only one in writer?

  19. JMHO – I’ve had three fiction books published, written for newspapers, had a column in a newspaper, written for trade journals, short stories published, a few articles in the American Mensa mag, had a quarterly column for an on-line mag, articles published in international mags, and a five-year run writting a column for a national mag. You are so correct about the book “ego” thing. It is something all authors need to experience…ONCE, and then done.

    Writing a column for a national mag brought me the most joy and compensation, with no travel required for book signings, etc. The best part is that I still have treasured friends from all over the globe, and am still close with my editor (the mag went bankrupt).

    If a publisher would accept your previous columns as a collection, then it would be worth your effort, but the compensation to write a book versus time spent … well you know that already.

    I adore your writing style (we write similarly), and anything you do will be a resounding success, and I will certainly purchase it because I love ya’ girlfriend!

    • susan alexander says:

      Sure wish your column would allow editing or spell check…”writing” not “writting” dang! Oh well…it is early here and I haven’t had coffee yet because I read your column first thing. :-)

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Susan. But for now the only thing I’m selling are bread proofing cloths. :) ~ karen!

  20. Linda in Illinois says:

    Why write a book about something you are not so passionate about? DIY, gardening, chickens, antiques, food, house, tips, decorating, etc. all great things to know from someone who knows “how to do stuff”. Don’t write a book about lifestyles if that is not something you are passionate about. Stay true to yourself Karen.. be you not a yes man.

    • Karen says:

      I think their idea is the book would be about my “lifestyle”. I’m not sure how that translates into chapters, but that’s the idea. :) ~ karen!

  21. Heather says:

    Interestingly most people here are suggesting you write the book. I say, do what you do or do not want to do. You ARE a writer.end.of.story. Your post about the process makes for interesting reading.

  22. Kelly says:

    I’m reading whatever you put out into the world, paper or no. But if you do decide to do a book, please come do you book tour near me. I’ll host it, for Pete’s sake. OR (new idea I just had) skip all the book work and do a TAODS blog tour!!! With DIY demos!!! And snacks!!!

  23. Ev Wilcox says:

    You write girl! I read, sometimes a lot! I will buy your book. I am smart, and I will buy your book! (You could sit it your gargantuan garden plot and think and write write write!) By the way, did you level the two plots together or not?! Anyway, you write girl!

  24. Alice says:

    My mother, who is 94, recently published her first book of poetry. (She’s been writing forever…or at least a good portion of her adult life.) She used createspace.com, which allows print-on-demand printing. You still need an editor — but you have much more creative control — and don’t have to convince anyone else your book is worthwhile.

  25. Francie Thornton says:

    Skip all the other people and write and publish it yourself. You can sell it on Amazon etc. I have an award winning author cousin (also a ghost writer) who does this and is very successful. you have enough of a following to do it. You don’t need “smart people in tweed” etc. because, obviously, they aren’t that smart.

  26. Suzanne Reith says:

    Go for it Karen. In your spare time, of course.

  27. marilyn meagher says:

    If your hearts not in it your book would suck…so wait til the time is right. Hopefully while Betty’s still around so you can give her the first signed copy. Lol.

    • Karen says:

      LOL! I’d actually like to write a novel or a life guide. It’s adding in all the DIY stuff that’s mind boggling. Just let me write without having to come up with an additional 150 creative ideas and I’ll be fine! ~ karen!

      • SusanR says:

        You don’t need to come up with 150 creative ideas. A lifestyle book from you might be about how you decided to become a blogger, and what that has meant in terms of your life changing, as a result. Not HOW to become a blogger, so much as how you decided to become a blogger, and how that changed your life, and how you changed as a person. That would be the lifestyle part. You live the lifestyle of a blogger now. You went from the lifestyle of a TV host, which is very public, to the lifestyle of a popular blogger. You COULD throw in a few DIY things – your favorite DIYs on the blog, as a sort of filler, like Nora Ephron used recipes. Then it wouldn’t be a DIY book, it would be a lifestyle that included a few DIY projects that were hits on your blog.

        You’ve already, to some extent, written about what it’s like to be a blogger, and why you decided to try it. It would just be more of that. How has your life changed, as a result of starting this blog? How have you had to adapt your lifestyle to maintain this blog? How has having this blog changed your life? Would you have been able to do the kitchen overhaul if you hadn’t had this blog? Would you have been able to have chickens and do the vegetable gardening you do without this blog?

      • Sue in PA says:

        So what about a novel about a badass woman from Canada with a whacked out sense of humor and a potty mouth who does DIY projects and blogs about them? I’d buy it in a heartbeat!

        I ran across your blog through Pinterest a few months ago and immediately subscribed. Love reading it and the responses! You all crack me up!

  28. Linda sieve says:

    Write the book already.

  29. Catherine Vosper says:

    But your DIY is your lifestyle, why can’t they see that?

  30. Claudia says:

    I am not a do it yourselfer. But I read your blog religiously. Because you’re a great writer and I’m fascinated by your lifestyle.

    In fact, I would love to spend all day nesting. It’s an amazing fantasy! Decorating, building, gardening, the beautiful accoutrements…So I would read a book about your lifestyle in an instant.

    I want to know everything about you. You have learned so much! Entertainment, photography, using your hands and your body, having so many fucking vegetables its mind-boggling – what the hell do you do with them?

    And your deep relationships with the chickens. Your mother is skeptical about men? Don’t we all wish we could get rid of ours!

    You are the master of your own domain. This is a lifestyle I want to read more about – the sales person was right. It’s you we are interested in. So take THAT, Karen’s ego!!

    And a final note: I suspect I am not alone in absolutely adoring you.

    • Claudia says:

      PS your “lifestyle” also appears to include a huge sense of humor. Also instructive. And uplifting. So open the door to a behind-the-scenes look at what it’s like to be you, an inspiration, and make it both happy and sad, like the blog. Xoxoxo

    • Karen says:

      Thanks for saying that Claudia. My intention wasn’t really for this post to turn into a lovefest for myself, but I’m not gonna lie, it feels pretty good, lol.

  31. Leticia says:

    What in Glob’s name is a “lifestyle book”? Does it mean you should take pictures of yourself doing DIY projects and holding chickens, since that is your lifestyle?

    I once worked closely with marketing people and my constant question was “Does that even work?”. Their answer was “It does, it makes people buy more!”. Maybe I am immune to marketing schemes and just find them annoying, not enticing, I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that I come here for your wit, not your chickens. :)

  32. Emie says:

    Yes.. You ARE a writer. I hear similar talk amongst people who make art. Seems that calling yourself an artist is more difficult than giving oneself the title of “artist”. The act of making art makes one an artist just as the act of writing makes one a writer!

  33. whitequeen96 says:

    Here’s why I don’t write a book. You have to travel around the country on a book tour, staying at all kinds of hotels with miserable Continental breakfasts and rush around frantically and hope that people show up for the book signings. But the WORST PART would be having to go on Oprah (because of course my book would be that good!) and having people I haven’t seen in 30 years shriek, “Oh my God, look what’s happened to her! She’s gained so much weight; look at her double chin and her wrinkles – how tragic!” And then all the tabloids would run features with pictures of me in my perky, petty past, right next to pictures of me in my pitiable present. And then EVERYONE in North America would be talking about how I was such a heartbreaking example of a woman who let herself go.
    Yeah, that’s why I don’t write a book. :)

    • danni says:

      wow! Me TOO! That and the fact that you have to write what you know, and I plan on taking all the really good stuff with me to the grave, never EVER to see the light of day…. :D

      Karen, they contacted you because you were good and stood out so shame on the dopes that don’t know this fact, they need to loosen their ties and get some medicated cream for that tweed rash on their (horse’s) ass!

    • Suzanne Reith says:

      Please Whitequeen96, write that book. You and Karen could book tour together. It would be hilariously successful.

    • Karen says:

      From the sound of your comment maybe you should write a book, lol! Well done ~ karen!

  34. If they really want a book, and you really want to write it, bang it out fast, (no time-sucking revising!) and then give it to an editor who knows your blog well. She can tweak it into shape while you go merrily on creating material for your next book, living large with your chickens and your gardens and your home and all the other lovely things that fill your days. I’m pretty sure all of us blog followers would buy your book, because we all love you for the happiness and humour you bring to our days. A Karen book would make a great go-to gift for my women friends. : )

  35. Andy Fiarfax says:

    The world is a mad place, tastes change faster than we can keep up with!

  36. Swinnen Lisette says:

    You are a good writer. Just rename your book : Lifestyle : Interiordesigns to create yourself like a pro

  37. Pam'a says:

    You know you are, and so do we, or we wouldn’t be here. ;)

  38. Sera says:

    You should write a book. I say that because I love your blog and I’ve gotten in the habit of buying and reading the books of food bloggers, not for the recipes as much as for the long form writing that takes place.
    I just finished Dinner, A Love Story and now I have nothing to read while my daughter watches Daniel Tiger next to me. I would go back to reading blogs but the thing is, I want her to see me read physical books and smarty Pants magazines like the Atlantic.
    Maybe by the time she’s 10, books will all be digital and we won’t have the smell of printed paper between our fingers, but I hope not. I love that smell.
    So I’ll buy your book, whenever you get around to writing it.

    • Karen says:

      Ooo! My friend is a writer for The Atlantic. :) And yes, she … as the writer … is a smartypants. Maybe I’ll ditch ALL of this and become a smartypants journalist. ~ karen!

  39. Melissa Stinson says:

    You are indeed a very smart person. And, in time, I know there will be a book on my coffee table written by you. I have no doubt.

    But, in the meantime, we will still get to enjoy your blogs, for which I greatly look forward to.

  40. Nicole says:

    I think you should do what your heart tells you to do – and it sounds like, at least at the moment, your heart is kind of “meh” about the book thing. Good on you for recognizing that and being able to admit it, not just to yourself, but to your agent and to us, your readers.

    You blog about what you’re passionate about, be it chickens or antique-shopping or decorating. If you were suddenly passionate about writing a book, you’d blog like crazy about it. Which… might not be as interesting to read. Which I wouldn’t like. And it’s all about me, right? Many bloggers-turned-book-authors seem to suddenly start just blogging about how you should buy their books. And that is not fun to read. Not as fun as learning about loofahs (or however they’re spelled) or linen aprons.

    • Marianne says:

      I agree. Write about what you want, not what the sales people think is sellable. If and when you get the urge to write a book for your own satisfaction, I’ll bet it will flow out of you, without only minor sessions of what feels like teeth-pulling and mental torture. And maybe some angst. Please keep writing the blog. You are like a late night friend, guaranteed to make me laugh or think or be inspired or all three at once.

      • Exactly. What’s the point in writing ‘to order’ when they might decide something else is the in thing by the time you’ve finished? Just write what you want, when you feel like it. Whether it’s blog or book.

        As for massage, I’m with your mother. Hate it. That might be because a physical therapist once tried that to make my dodgy neck more flexible and I ended up blacking out and not being allowed to drive home.

      • Karen says:

        Thanks Marianna! Those are the exact three of the four things I try to do with my posts. Laugh, Think, Inspire, Learn. ~ karen!

    • Karen says:

      It *is* all about you. ;) ~ karen!

  41. TucsonPatty says:

    I believe in massage, and even massaging your ego, if that needs done, also! I would also buy the book, but you need more buyers than your audience here on the blog, even though we would all tell all of our friends and tell them to tell…
    But, I also read about book tours/signing and it seems hella lotta work. You like home too much!
    Someday…my friend! You’ll do it if it needs done! It ain’t that hard, any of it, someone very smart and wise and sage once told me! ; )

    • Karen says:

      Yeah, it’s a huge amount of work. HUGE. I’ve spoken with a few friends who have very well known blogs that have written books and it’s a GRIND. And not necessarily a pleasant one. ~ karen!

    • Teri says:

      Margaret Atwood apparently has collaborated with her stepson to create a distance signing device (true, read it in the new yorker just three days ago – although the article was in a slightly older magazine). Well, she mused about it and he created it and it exists and is used by fancy people like lawyers for distant signing of important documents. You could do a stay-at-home book tour, sign the books using all the modern technologies of the day, give your little talk on a big TV screen, and sleep in your own bed every night!

  42. Paula says:

    Definitely write the book. I, for one, would be content with one post a week if that means that you would have more time for your book. I would love to read a book that you could write.

  43. Valerie says:

    Karen you should reconsider and write this book….the subject could be many of the replies you receive your followers, this would be a complete hoot.

  44. Edith says:

    I’ll read whatever you write….and I’ll pay for it whatever it costs!

  45. I had a poem published in a book when I was a youngster. Gotta say, I felt pretty damn special.

  46. Flash says:

    I will buy one when it eventually is written

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