Your Official 2014 Oscar Ballot


You didn’t think a little thing like a 12 hour time difference and an inside out stomach would keep me from watching the Oscars did you?

Nope.  The Oscars will be taking place like they do every year, smack dab in the middle of my living room.  Which is exactly where I’ll be on Oscar night.

My trip to Thailand will be complete and I will be home for the Oscars by this Sunday night!  It’s one of the first things I checked when we booked this holiday.  Will I be home for the Oscars and will the trip interfere with the semi-annual sale of back ribs at my local grocery store.  Both checked out so I agreed to the trip.

I mean a trip to Thailand is great and everything but the Oscars only happen once in a lifetime.  If you’re a Monarch Butterfly.

This year I’ve seen more nominated movies (I can’t quite bring myself to use the word “films” unless I’m wearing a monacle) and performances than ever before so it’s going to be a really fun Academy Awards for me.  Sure, the fella won’t be here to add his zippy comments, but the cats will be and I’m thinking of letting the chickens in for the night.

Between the appetizers, my statuettes  and analyzing  the dress choices during the preshow it’s a pretty full night.  The dress analyzing usually takes place over the phone with Betty and often ends with one of us choking on our own spit after gasping in horror at someone’s poor bra choice.

So as I do every year, I have for you an official Oscar Ballot so you can play along with me in picking the night’s winners.



Oscars 2014

To get the ballot just click on the link or picture above and then print it.

 As I do every year, I’ll be eating a table full of appetizers including antojitos, quesadillas, assorted olives, along with a 15 year old bottle of partially crystallized Creme de Menthe.

By the end of the night I’ll feel bloated, a little bit sick, and confident I have way better taste than most of the stylists and stars in Hollywood.

Until then I’ll be watching my nearly 80 year old mother get drunk on Singha beer while wearing a leopard print bathing suit on the beaches of Phuket.  Better than any Oscar performance to date.



  1. Marti says:

    What? You’re still there? Must be feeling better! Hoo-Ray! And uhhhh, thanks, I guess, for the drunk 80 year old in leopard print mental image.

  2. Natika says:

    Clearly your mother rocks! I hope you’re feeling better and able to enjoy the rest of your trip! I have seen maybe three movies this whole year and I doubt any of them were Oscar worthy. I wonder if I can random pick and be lucky anyway?

  3. A vision of you, with cats, appetizers, Oscar statues, and CHICKENS!!
    I hope the new kitchen is not finished!
    Why don’t you complete the mix and get mother to come round in her bathing suit?

  4. caroline says:

    I only watched Blue Jasmine and August : Osage County and both Meryl and Cate were amazing but i think i love Meryl just a bit more, and of course i will be keeping my fingers crossed for our own Belgian film The Broken Circle Breakdown, the only film that had me crying and trust me that doesn’t happen often.

  5. mary liz says:

    I think I am in love with your mother! Hope you have replenished all the electrolytes you shot out the other day. Enjoy the rest of Thailand. . .hopefully I will be there in a month, any tips?

  6. Jody says:

    Please please bring back the warmth of the sunshine, cool breezes and humidity. It is still cold and dry here in the Hammer. Can’t wait to see photos and hear more about your trip–?The Art of Doing Thailand?

  7. Tigersmom says:

    How do the cats get along with the chickens?

    Are they big enough to not be seen as prey?

    Good to hear you sounding like you feel better.

    Have safe travels and kiss Betty for me. ; )

  8. Ev says:

    Your statuettes are awesome! It will almost like being there, except for the cats and the girls! Tell them to not hog the antojitos! Glad you aren’t sick anymore!

  9. Allison says:

    It must say something about me that the only Oscar nominated films I’ve seen this year are Despicable Me 2 and Frozen. . .

    Enjoy the rest of your trip!

  10. Mary Werner says:

    Go, Betty, Go!

  11. Melissa in North Carolina says:

    I have a visual of Betty on the beach with her beer and her leopard print bathing suit. Gee, thanks.
    Love you, Betty!

    Glad you are feeling better. Safe travel home.

  12. Anita says:

    LOL. I’m glad that I’m not the only one who plans my life around the oscars!! 😉 Seriously, it is my superbowl. Love your blog Karen! Enjoy the remainder of your trip!

  13. gabrielle says:

    Is someone going to streak? I only watch the Oscars if someone streaks. I prefer an unscripted moment!

  14. Marion says:

    You mother sounds incredible! Glad you guys are having a good time (I’m assuming you are feeling better). I can’t wait to see a recap post of all the amazing places you have visited!

  15. martha says:

    Your mother is a true gem! Gotta love a women thats willing to go for it! So happy you are feeling better. Have a safe trip home.

  16. God Bless Betty. I can see her now. She is stylin!!

  17. Nancy Blue Moon says:

    I think I’ve said it before..I want to be Betty when I grow up!

  18. Debbie says:

    All I want to know is who the chickens pick.

  19. kelliblue says:

    CLEARLY, we need proof of this. Hilarious, photographic proof. 🙂 Safe travels till then!

    …my nearly 80 year old mother get drunk on Singha beer while wearing a leopard print bathing suit on the beaches of Phuket.

  20. Barbie says:

    Looking forward to the Oscars myself this year! Glad your feeling better and still having fun! Thanks for the post! I AM looking forward to lots of pictures of your trip!!

  21. Carole-ANN says:

    Karen you kill me. I sure wish I was travelling with you. So much fun!

  22. Bols says:

    I think that you now HAVE TO post a picture of Betty with her leopard basking in the sunshine at Fuck*it.

  23. Bols says:

    Actually, come to think of it, Betty should have been nominated for an Oscar, at least in the “Best Supporting Actress” category.

  24. Sally A. says:

    Cosmo has this fun poster of Oscar winning dresses…well, dresses worn by the Oscar winners…since 1929

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Sally! I actually put that up on my Facebook page yesterday. 🙂 It’s great isn’t it? ~ karen!

      • Sally A. says:

        Yes! Maybe one day I’ll join the rest of the planet and get on Facebook. Are you back safely? Hope so! Enjoy the show tonight!

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