You didn’t think a little thing like a 12 hour time difference and an inside out stomach would keep me from watching the Oscars did you?
Nope. The Oscars will be taking place like they do every year, smack dab in the middle of my living room. Which is exactly where I’ll be on Oscar night.
My trip to Thailand will be complete and I will be home for the Oscars by this Sunday night! It’s one of the first things I checked when we booked this holiday. Will I be home for the Oscars and will the trip interfere with the semi-annual sale of back ribs at my local grocery store. Both checked out so I agreed to the trip.
I mean a trip to Thailand is great and everything but the Oscars only happen once in a lifetime. If you’re a Monarch Butterfly.
This year I’ve seen more nominated movies (I can’t quite bring myself to use the word “films” unless I’m wearing a monacle) and performances than ever before so it’s going to be a really fun Academy Awards for me. Sure, the fella won’t be here to add his zippy comments, but the cats will be and I’m thinking of letting the chickens in for the night.
Between the appetizers, my statuettes and analyzing the dress choices during the preshow it’s a pretty full night. The dress analyzing usually takes place over the phone with Betty and often ends with one of us choking on our own spit after gasping in horror at someone’s poor bra choice.
So as I do every year, I have for you an official Oscar Ballot so you can play along with me in picking the night’s winners.
To get the ballot just click on the link or picture above and then print it.
As I do every year, I’ll be eating a table full of appetizers including antojitos, quesadillas, assorted olives, along with a 15 year old bottle of partially crystallized Creme de Menthe.
By the end of the night I’ll feel bloated, a little bit sick, and confident I have way better taste than most of the stylists and stars in Hollywood.
Until then I’ll be watching my nearly 80 year old mother get drunk on Singha beer while wearing a leopard print bathing suit on the beaches of Phuket. Better than any Oscar performance to date.