I Love You So Much You Make Me Sick

I love you so much you make me sick.  No honestly.  My love for you is so strong I’m physically ill.  Yup.  I’m not talking to *you* of course.  Unless you’re my boyfriend.  Are you my boyfriend?  You’re lucky if you’re not ’cause I’m mad at him, ’cause he made me sick.  Because I love him.  Nothing contagious.  Don’t worry.

Confused yet?  I’ll try and explain this to you as best I can.  Have you ever done something for someone to support them just because you love them?   Stand out in the rain cheering your father the marathoner on.  Maybe you’ve cut your hair a certain way because you know your husband or wife likes it that way.  Even if you don’t.  Or perhaps you’ve sworn off wearing high heels in the house because it terrifies your dog.  Either way it’s a show of love and support.

I love and support my boyfriend all the time. This time it made me sick.  Why?

Because  my boyfriend does CrossFit.

Why does that make me ill you ask?  Well that’ll take a little bit of explaining.   CrossFit is a community that likes to do things to the extreme.  It’s a method of working out that really just incorporates all the things you used to do  in gym class.  Things like jumping rope, chin ups, sit ups and handstands among other things.

The difference between gym class and Crossfit is the vomitting.

CrossFit’s mascot is called “Pukey”.  Basically, if you aren’t close to or actually throwing up, you aren’t working out hard enough.  When my boyfriend first joined this rope jumping band of lunatics I went with him.  He thought it’d be nice if we did something together.  So I took some classes.  The truth is, I went to CrossFit exactly twice.

After the first time I was so sore my muscles routinely gave out every time I tried to sit on the toilet.  No joke.  I’d get halfway’s sitting down and my legs and stomach muscles would collapse in pain and I’d crash in a heap on the toilet seat.  Then I would wince and say Ow.  And then I’d spend the next 1/2 hour trying to  to stand up again without using my legs.

This is a picture of me 3 days after my first Crossfit workout.  My boyfriend thought taking me for a brisk walk would loosen up my sore muscles.  I had to look for ramps to walk down because I couldn’t physically step off a curb.  I know this because when we first started our walk I tried to step off a curb.  And I fell down.

 

 

The second CrossFit class I took (yes, I went back because I wanted to be loving and supportive) I got a “special instructor” for the “special pupils”.  The ones just starting out.  My special instructor was a guy who taught CrossFit on the side.  You know … on his days off from Extreme Fighting.  Nope.  I’m not joking.  Needless to say, class 2 of CrossFit didn’t end any better than the first.  Unless shock is better.  If shock is better then I did much better the second time around.   Because class 2 ended with me going into shock.  Just for a few hours.  I used those hours to contemplate the sanity of my boyfriend who loved CrossFit.

You see, he too went into shock during his first or second CrossFit class. But he loved shock!  He thought shock was fantastic. The owners of the CrossFit gym made him sit down and drink some juice until the nausea and chills passed.  He was treated special because of his shock and he liked it.  When I told my “special instructor” I was feeling sick and asked whether people actually threw up while working out his response was Not as many as I’d like, keep goin’. I didn’t get any juice.

It’s amazing the pain we’ll put ourselves through to support someone we care about.   My boyfriend continues on with CrossFit.  He loves it.  And I continue to support him.  From the couch.  With a Costco sized bag of Cheezies.

As a comparison, this is what my boyfriend looks like after a self induced CrossFit workout while on vacation.

 

This man's favourite movie is Driving Miss Daisy.

 

Happy, fulfilled, laughing.  Clearly one of us has an issue.

I’m getting off track here.  So the point of this is, my boyfriend takes CrossFit.  CrossFit members like to do things to the extreme.  Because of this I felt quite ill this weekend.  His gym has decided to go on a Meal Plan.  Not a diet.  A meal plan.  Their leader has challenged them to eat better for 8 weeks.  We already eat well. I cook everything from scratch and I always have at least 2 vegetables with dinner.  What more do these people want?

We just finished our first week of “eating better”.  And I’ve never felt so sick in my life.  No potatoes,  no rice, no grains, no bread, no starchy stuff at all for this first “detoxing” week.  My body is revolting.  So to speak.  It’s kindda cute actually, considering my age and all.

I’m writing this post from the comfort of my bed with two cats laying beside me, showing me their love and support.  I’m feeling lethargic, muddleheaded and have I pains shooting through my stomach.  These are the symptoms I can tell you about.

My boyfriend?  He’s being supportive.  In fact, he just called to see how I was doing.  From CrossFit.


59 Comments

  1. Laura says:

    Crossfit is stupid. Just wait until his ligaments and tendons start to protest. & then his joints. It gets pretty ugly.

    • Karen says:

      Laura – I tend to agree in terms of how hard it is on the body. But there’s no stopping him. He loves it with all of his heart. Funny. I’ve never seen someone indifferent about CrossFit. They hate it or the love it. It’s the Donald Trump of the fitness world.

    • Suzy says:

      Wow-I just printed a recipe for chocolate pecan sticky buns because READING your post about Crossfit made me woozy and I figured it must be low-blood sugar. Maybe you need a drink, like a White-Russian?

  2. Whitney says:

    Don’t be too surprised if you find you can’t eat certain foods after you finish this detoxing thing. Cutting foods out completely tends to bring out sensitivities and allergies. Especially with the starches. It’s better for you in the end though. Sorry you feel like poo. It’ll pass! I promise!

  3. Shauna says:

    You are a good woman!! Who deserves lots of flowers and a weekend spa retreat!! (just in case the fellow is reading)

  4. kim says:

    Okay, I am trying to think of something to say that would be supportive of your “new eating plan” and your being sick but…..my brain has not gotten past the picture of your boyfriend!!!! WOW!!
    No..still can’t think of anything…Maybe I better look at him again!!!

  5. Rebecca says:

    Karen, please tell me if I’m out of line saying this, but although your body may be revolting, your boyfriend’s is definitely not. That stupid exercise looks good on him!

    I hate exercise. I mean formal exercise. I like sports and riding my bike to get from A to B, and I walk a lot, but going to a gym, or doing something called CrossFit sounds like torture. Luckily, I seem to have been blessed with a pretty good metabolism, but there’s no guarantee that’ll stick around!

  6. Pam'a says:

    Wait. He’s not even *there* and you’re doing that wretched detox diet?? Why, Karen, why?? I am sending a spiritual cookie. Can you taste it?

  7. clelia says:

    HAHAHAHA my boyfriend does NOT do cross-fit (thank goodness!) but he does do the “Meal Plan” and it drives me nuts. I try to be supportive but it just leads to me hiding my junk food in the glove box of my car which then leads to ant infestations. Watch out for those.

  8. Farquist says:

    If you look up the work “forlorn” in the dictionary, there’s that picture of you in your pirate mitts.

  9. Susan says:

    Pretty nice looking hunk of walking graffiti! I have a neighbour who cross-trained like that, for the Olympics, triathlon, I think. He’s in his 60s now and can’t stop. He told me that he has terrible arthritis and it’s painful but if he doesn’t keep training, his muscles seize and he’d be crippled. I believe excesses should be only occasional and only when you’re young enough to still think the pain is funny.

  10. magali says:

    I felt sick just reading the “what is crossfit” description on their site.

  11. Jane says:

    Sorry you feel bad! This was a great post (as usual) and that picture of you is hysterical – such a sad face! I rode a horse again after years of not riding one, and I not only collapsed half way down to the toilet, but I couldn’t open my legs to wipe! (sorry!) It was pretty awful. I felt compelled to open that pix of your BF as large as it would go and stare at it for a good 5 mins. The scenery is just gorgeous!! (and your BF is pretty cute too;)

    • Karen says:

      Jane – I rode horses and competed for years! I swear, there’s no better way to get every bit of your body in shape! Plus it’s a whole hell of a lotta fun! I know *exactly* what you’re talking about with the “getting back on the horse” pain. It’s awful! ~ karen

  12. Tanya says:

    My cousins do Crossfit… I just don’t understand it. Devoting your life to pain! They went on the Paleo diet also (felt so sorry for them at Thanksgiving). However, they do look awesomely fit!

    • Karen says:

      Tanya – My bf was given the choice of “whole” foods of Paleo diet. The problem is we aleady eat Whole Foods. It think it’s eating all someone else’s recipes that’s making my stomach wacky! ~ karen

  13. Laughing out loud reading that post just cause my guy is into stuff I don’t like at all … karate three times a week, squash twice a week and hockey ….me, I’ll take a walk or a short bike ride. I’ve never participated in any of these activities and nor do I have the inclination to….but of course I’m supportive. I chalked it up to the face that he has more energy than me being 7 years younger and all. Last month his SI Joint gave out on him and he’s been hobbling around ever since seeing a chiropractor and a physiotherapist…. me?…. I’m still taking walks and riding my bike…something to be said for moderation.

  14. Lindsay says:

    I mean, on a positive note, apparently this results in a boyfriend that looks like yours…

  15. Joni Nawrocki says:

    Oh god, Karen, this sounds awful. I tried a bootcamp workout a couple of years ago. Horrible experience. My joints hurt for 2 months — especially my hips. Among other things,the instructor had us flipping these tractor tires across the room. Ugh! Dumb idea for an outing for the playgroup mommies. I’d much rather drink wine and eat artichoke dip.

  16. Nancy says:

    I’ve done it. The second time I was driving home from it on the freeway and I thought I would crash my car. I dug frantically through my bags and found a half-drunk water-bottle and gulped it as though I had been lost in the desert for days. I made it home, but kept myself from panic by telling myself I could exit at any off-ramp if I wanted to. And it was night. I still work out HARD, but at my own level, not other people’s. I’ve met many former X-fitters who complain of injuries. You funny.

  17. Jacqui says:

    Sorry you feel so bad but thank you for the out loud laughter from your descriptions. I recently gave up wheat, corn, almost all dairy and black tea (that was the hardest) and I feel much better…now.

    Bikram yoga is one of those “I think I’d rather die than do this again” activities that I have now been doing for two years but I think you are wise to pass on CrossFit.

    I hope your boyfriend knows how lucky he is…

    • Cat says:

      I’ve never had a bikram instructor try to make me do more than I thought I could handle, I remember the first month being too hot and only being able to hold the poses once rather than twice the first week, but there was never any excruciating pain after, just hunger and a new respect for cool spring breezes.

  18. Jaimee says:

    Newcomers to CrossFit should not be introduced with the level of intensity it seems that you were. That’s bad CrossFit juju. If you want to be supportive again slowly ramp up on the intensity. Learn tecnique first and work on gradually increasing your intensity to avoid the symptoms you were experience. Not that you won’t still get sore, really sore at times, but it won’t be like what you were experiencing.

    And for the record, I’ve been CrossFitting for almost 4 years and the only thing that makes my joints hurt is running.

  19. Liz S. says:

    So I went through and I read “What is CrossFit”. Yikes! That sounds like what my brother-in-law is doing in the military. But’s he’s doign it to survive in a war zone. After reading the general introduction, my eyes began to wonder around the page and I saw “CrossFit Kids”. WHAT! Go check out the CrossFit Kids photo. There are preschoolers doing this stuff. I’m all about my kid being healthy and burning off that extra energy, but he should not being able to do perfect push ups at age 4.

    • Karen says:

      Liz – LOL! A very good friend of mine is a CrossFit Kids instructor! She’s great with kids because her “real” job is that of a Child Life Specialist. But um, yeah … I say stick em out in a playground with some rusty monkey bars and call it a day. That’s how I got fit! ~ karen

  20. Renee says:

    My sister joined a Crossfit gym (if you can call a garage full of heavy things and concrete a gym) because she used to be a gymnast and now that she’s older has to find a new way to punish her body.

    It’s crazy.

  21. Bobbi D says:

    Karen,

    See that picture in the little box on your posts….that’s you…smiling, happy. Looks like you just did something fun….maybe something healthy…eat a bagel for heaven’s sake and let the cutie man be supportive of you…for love..

    • Karen says:

      Bobbi D – Everyone can calm down, LOL. I’m planning on a big plate of potatoes tonight and one of my own recipes. Frankly I think more than anything, what made me sick was eating someone else’s recipes for a full week. You know how when you go away on vacation the food seems great for the first day or two then by day 7 it’s enough to make you sick because it’s not your cooking? Yeah. I think that’s what happened. Blech! And you’re right. I forgot all about the fishing picture! Thanks! 🙂 ~ karen

  22. gr8skott says:

    Crossfit is awesome. It’s all about working out your entire body to gain raw, spontaneous, intense strength and force. It *is* hardcore, but it’s not any more likely to destroy your body than running. But you aren’t supposed to be doing it every day either.

    In my experience; the shock and nausea experienced by Crossfitters can be avoided by paying attention to when you eat, what you eat, and how much you eat the day before your workouts. It’s like prepping for a 5k or something; if the resources aren’t there ready for your body to use it is sure to let you know.

  23. That sounds like the worst thing in the world. I do 30 minutes on my elliptical machine a day and that already makes me want to throw up. Bottom line: your boyfriend is cray-cray!

    I hate diet stuff like that too. I tried to cut out sugar for a while and all I wanted for that whole week was – you guessed it – sugar. “Mindful eating” and weighing in everyday seems to be the approach that works best for me. Lost 25 pounds since the end of college and didn’t deprive myself of a thing. So suck on that, Paleo Diet! 😛

  24. Jan says:

    Cross Fit…… Cross Off My List!

  25. Oona says:

    I’d be supportive too if it meant getting to pet that belly. Nice.

  26. Dani says:

    My beau is into all thats kind of stuff, I am being supportive and going for daily jogs and just signed up for a street combatives course on April 3rd (for 6 months,) possibly an equivalent to cross-fit, I’m actually kind of looking forward to it. My beau did it for 6 years before he decided to try out for SWAT lol I played sports and stuff but never anything this extreme, I’ve been doing kick boxing for the last 6 months lol wish me luck

  27. Julie shinnick says:

    Oh such a sad, sad picture! My bottom lip dropped for you!

    I’d rather be making stuff than working out! Which is great for me at the moment because with a stuffed knee it is not a good thing to run or row or anything!

  28. Driving Miss Daisy! LOLZ

    • Karen says:

      Andrea – It’s actually a toss up between Driving Miss Daisy and Fried Green Tomatoes. He also loved the book Fried Green Tomatoes, so I maybe should have went with that. 🙂 ~ karen

  29. CJ says:

    Stubbing a toe in ballet class somehow just doesn’t compare…

  30. Susan says:

    Maybe you need to find another way to love and support him in his love of physical fitness? Perhaps one without the promise of puke?

  31. Jennbilles says:

    Hallo –

    I have very good friends who are urging me to attend Crossfit – I’m *positive* everyone involved would end up rolling on the floor while doing burpees and laughing their well toned tails as I went into shock, or had a seizure, or something similar! Also, the Paleo diet is caveman based, isn’t it? I’m sure my palate has evolved!

    • Karen says:

      Jen – LOL. Yes, the Paleo diet is caveman based. It’s not the Paleo diet we’re on though. It doesn’t allow coffee, which wasn’t gonna happen in this household. Besides … when’s the last time you saw a really healthy, good lookin’ Caveman? ~ karen

  32. Ellie says:

    That picture of you is the cutest thing ever.

  33. Chula says:

    This was so funny! I wet my Depends laughing! To each his own – if he loves it, great! I think blaring on the bed with the cats and a bag of cheetos sounds awesome.

  34. Dave says:

    Jaimee is right, newcomers need to approach CrossFit slowly and build up. The trainers at the gym definitely pushed you too hard too fast if you were cripplingly sore. I’m sorry you didn’t have a more positive experience.

    I’m a CrossFitter who works out with my wife. She works hard but is not crazy hard core. She goes 2 or 3 times a week. Her life does not revolve around it (the way mine kind of does), but even so it has completely changed how she thinks about her body. For the first time in her life she feels like an athlete! She can do things like pullups that she never thought she’d do (deadhang pullups, not just kipping pullups).

    I hope some day you give it another try with a coach who will ease you in properly. Thanks for the post!

  35. Cindy says:

    Once upon a time I forced myself to ride roller coasters in a show of support and companionship to one of my (ex) loved ones. After a couple of years of it, I progressed to breathing and opening my eyes while on said roller coaster!

    I don’t have to do that anymore. With my new hubby, companionship includes learning appreciation of single malt scotch.

  36. Bebe Ruth says:

    Saw this article and thought of you and your guy…
    http://fitbie.msn.com/get-fitter/inside-cult-crossfit

  37. andrea meyers says:

    i cant read this post without laughing and crying simultaneously. thank you.

    • Karen says:

      Andrea – That’s exactly how I felt while doing Crossfit. Tomorrow night he’s making me do Bikram Yoga. What a loon. ~ karen!

  38. Julie says:

    Karen

    You have moved me to take time from my busy day to comment 🙂

    My Husband Keith and I have just picked ourselves up off of the floor from laughing so much – I am still building up to Hot Yoga having just started Pilates!

    Ive just completed my 3rd week so am proud of myself – nothing compared to what you are currently putting yourself through – in the name of love – great post – one of your best

    Julie (of suitcase/globes around the mirrored fireplace fame!)

    • Karen says:

      LOL! Well … the Crossfit was a while ago. Now he’s trying to force me into Bikram Yoga. I’m not impressed. ~ karen!

  39. Nicole says:

    Sweet gloves. Cross fit sounds scary and I keep hearing about stinky steamy bikram….is it super stinky?

  40. Patricia says:

    Stumbled upon your blog by sheer accident and decided to peruse and read a bit.

    About a year ago my son & his girl started crossfit. He tells us that he worked out so hard he had to go outside and puke. A few weeks later he ask the husband and I to join them. Is he crazy?! Telling us he pukes then wanting us to willingly submit to that torture? I DO NOT think so 🙂

    You had me in tears reading this and I loved it!!

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  42. susan g says:

    are the animals on your boyfriend’s upper right arm practicing safe sex?

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