No Cook Cookies

Today, it is my pleasure, to introduce you to the gooey,  sweet goodness of “ies”.

What is an ie, you ask?  An ie is a no cook cookie.  Since we have removed the cook from the cookie, it simply becomes an ie.  To make things simpler we could also call them Date and Nut blobs.

Or, as they are known in this household … Hippie Cookies.

Why Hippie Cookies?  Because they’re made with dates and nuts and all natural hippie type stuff you’re likely to come across while traipsing through the forest in your Birkenstocks.  Why are you in the forest?  I don’t know.  You’re the hippie.  You’re probably chasing butterflies or trying to find that “special” plant you planted in the spring.

There’s no flour or sugar. They get their sweetness from the dates and dried berries and get texture from the seeds and nuts. See? Total hippie cookies.

The Hippie Cookie is also a good name because while you’re making them you inevitably get the uncontrollable urge to splash on some patchouli oil and browse Kijiji for a righteous Volkswagen van.

We were introduced to these cookies in that stupid meal plan I was forced to partake in because the guy who runs my boyfriend’s gym thought it would be a good idea for everyone to eat whole foods and no carbs at all, for 2 months.  Asshole.  These cookies were the only thing that got me through it.  If it weren’t for these and the bags of potato chips and McCain frozen pizzas I ate once my boyfriend went to bed I don’t know what I would have done.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the most delightful part of these cookies is the fact that you don’t cook them.  Yes.  I said delightful.

NO COOK HIPPIE COOKIES

Ingredients

2 cups dates

1 cup almonds

1/2 cup walnuts

5-6 Tablespoons mixed dried berries (blueberries, goji berries, cranberries, raisins etc.)

1-2 teaspoons cinnamon

1 Tablespoon Sunflower Seeds

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

 

 

In a food processor pulse the almonds, walnuts and cinnamon until they resemble coarse flour.

Like so …

 

Add the remaining ingredients and pulse.

 

It helps to pulse the dates a few at a time.

You may notice the manhands in these pictures.  It would appear I’ve had some sort of allergic reaction.

I have not.   They’re my fella’s hands.  He’s the designated Hippie Cookie Uncooker in the family.  Every Sunday afternoon he whips up a batch so he has some to share with the Wood Nymphs and Unicorns in the forest.   Or he eats them at work.  I can’t remember.  Either way he’s surrounded by animals.

Once the dates are in 1/4 – 1/2 chunks and the dough forms into a ball, stop mixing

Roll the dough into a long tube.  I’m really sorry, but it will look like poo.

 

Slice the dough whatever size you want.

 

Form into cookie shape and refrigerate.

 

Depending on the dates and how long you process the dough for, the ies may become oily.  This is normal.

No matter how I tried, I could not make these ies look delicious in a photograph.

They still look like poo.  They look better in real life.  But not much.  They taste much better than they look.

 

A few notes from my fella, the cook.  The original recipe called for Medjool dates. Apparently these are kind of expensive.  Approximately the same price per pound as plutonium.  So he substituted with honey or cooking dates and says he likes them better anyway.

Also, I forced him to make these cookies smaller than he normally makes them.  If I allowed him to make them his regular size you’d be looking at 3 massive cookies, one with a bite out of it.

This recipe will make approximately 36 normal sized cookies.

If you think you might be sharing them with an actual wood nymph make em a bit smaller.  If you think you might be sharing them with an actual hippie, make ’em a bit more filled with pot.
I apologize for the quality of the pictures. I was in a rush and we were doing the photos at night and I don’t own Photoshop to properly correct the lighting and weirdo hue of the photos. If you still have a problem with my pictures either a) fix them yourself and send them to me via email, or buy me Photoshop.


 

89 Comments

  1. Brynne says:

    I’ve been a reader for a while, but I haven’t commented yet… Just wanted to let you know that your writing makes me laugh every time. I love it! Thanks for teaching us how to do stuff. I like doing stuff 🙂

    • Karen says:

      Brynne – Thanks for commenting! Finally! I’ve been waiting. Seriously though … I love getting comments. It’s what lets me know people are actually reading what I’m writing. Which in turn motivates me to show you how to do more stuff. ~ karen

  2. Mindy says:

    Well, I can’t say they look delicious, but they do SOUND delicious! Funny as always.

  3. Centi says:

    They look alright. Compared to chocolate cookies… people are just used to waht they lool like.
    And don’t you worry about the pictures. Nothing’s wrong with them.
    Thanks for sharing the recipe!

  4. Shauna says:

    Perhaps you could call them “Mr Hanky Cookies” sorry, but Southpark reference!! And it sounds like you are really fond of the gym guy, he was fond of you too till he read this blog 😀 Thanks for the giggle again Karen

  5. liapez says:

    Ooh, these do look good, and my husband is currently doing the same thing your boyfriend is and it is driving me nuts (I snuck a brownie at work today. Shhhh.)

  6. SK Farm Girl says:

    I have found my crack candy – you and your blog!!! I love the way you story-tell! You are such a real person (as in a real nut bar) with real opinions (you don’t sugar coat the unfun stuff) and real projects that can be done without searching the corners of the earth to accomplish a simple project (real common goods hiding at yard sales/thrifty shops/# stores). As I mentioned, your blog is my crack candy. I simply cannot get into bed before reading your stories/projects! You’re fantastic girl; keep up the great work! Need an apprentice? I’m well known in my little town as the strange one with even stranger ideas with quirky outcomes 🙂 In the last two weeks I’ve convinced my neighbour lady (fellow crack pot herself) and my cousin to raiding back alleys for garbage the can be turned into treasure. They’re hooked 🙂

    • Karen says:

      SK Farm Girl – LOL. Thanks! Oddly .. I think of myself as perfectly normal. And I am! I think. ~ karen

  7. mimi says:

    Don’t know how you think up all the stuff for your posts, but they are interesting and, yes, funny.

    I think these look ok, especially in the last photo.

  8. Jen says:

    Well…I will finally comment too..since you’re waiting. I too love your writing! Some funny stuff. Who would have ever though watching you walk around Mike Holmes, and a bunch of guys with tools…ahem….that you were so fun! 🙂 I was introuced to your blog a few weeks back by Nester…but isn’t that sad, that another Canadian has to met a great Canadian blogger…by an American! Oh my…there’s much work to do. Love your blog….your attitude…can’t wait to see the Coop, etc. If you’re ever on the East Coast…Nova Scotia per sey….come on over and have a drink!

    • Karen says:

      Jen – Thanks for the invitation and I will! I’ve never been to the East Coast and have always wanted to go. 🙂 As far as Handyman Superstar Challenge, they cut out all my “funny”. When push comes to shove and they need to cut the time of a television show back, they always cut out the funny. Always. It’s considered unnecessary. As opposed to say, watching the guy almost cut his thumb off. Which is necessary. And sometimes funny. ~ karen

  9. Once again you make me smile and you also have motivated me to make something sweet that might actually be better ofr me than my carb laden chocolate chip cookie recipe!!! Make it a great day…

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Jo! That girls needs a makeover. LOL. I’m halfway done my own coop! It’s um, considerably larger. 😉 ~ karen

  10. terry says:

    Perhaps eating poo is underrated. They sound amazing and I’m going to put them on my list of things to make. Thanks for sharing.

  11. cred says:

    I can attest that although these look rather unpleasant that they taste yummy. I make something similar but form into balls and roll in coconut. I swear I’m not a hippie…. I don’t wear birks or use pot in my version…

  12. Jeffrey Lee says:

    First of all, you are a great girlfriend for supporting your boyfriends trainer/asshole food regimine. Second, I love your ‘it looks like poo’ comments. I know it makes me sound juvenile, but deep down don’t we all get a little giggle from poo refererences? Third, I will not try these. I am a firm believer that cookies should be baked, or at least heated on the stove and blended. Taking raw goods and mashing them into a cookie shape makes them…well..not a cookie. A sweet hippie snack maybe, but not a cookie. Plus, they really do look like poo. This is my opinion and I am sticking with it. 🙂

  13. Mike, the fella's dad says:

    When he was a young lad your fella was fond of eating uncooked Duncan Hines cake mixes out of the box with a spoon. He’s come a long way, or has he? Gotta love that boy.

  14. Cindy says:

    Once again~ hilarious! A blog post about poo and pot!!! COMEDY! I wear patchoulli oil but I do not associate with wood nymphs or unicorns. I do have a few hippies as friends, however. I’m positive they would like these “ies” so I’ll pass along your non-photoshopped blog post even though I’m not sure if they’ll have wireless internet out in the woods. 🙂

  15. magali says:

    this post is Karen at her best. loved it! (although the ies don’t seem appealing to me because I am not a fan of dates).

  16. m says:

    Medjool dates are delicious, and they’re really not expensive if you get them at Trader Joes…maybe 3 or 4 dollars for a large box. They’re way better than the usual grocery store dates which can be so dry and hard. Look for them!

    • Karen says:

      M – My fella tried both, and he really liked the taste and texture of the honey dates better. It probably depends on the grocery store and what their bulk department is like! I saw Dirty Jobs this week did a show on growing and harvesting Medjool dates. It’s no wonder they’re expensive. Lotta work! ~ karen

  17. Christina says:

    ” If you think you might be sharing them with an actual hippie, make ‘em a bit more filled with pot.

    You make me giggle. 🙂 Thanks for being so awesome.

  18. Lydia says:

    Definitely trying these – the last picture was great! They don’t look like poo there. Trust me, I have 2 kids and a 100 lb dog, I am a poo expert.

  19. marilyn says:

    they look disgusting! i will probably have to make some for my vegan nephew when he visits this summer as i am always looking for things to make him. but you are right, there is no way to pretty these puppies up they will always look like poo! nice try though karen with the pretty dish!

  20. Jules says:

    I have made these before and they are YUMMY! Totally forgot about them- Im so excited you reminded me… I think I got the recipe out of a RAW recipe book I have??? Honestly, the fact that they look like poo just makes you that much more surprised when you taste how good they are!

    • Karen says:

      Jules – You’re right! My mother took one look at them and squinched her face up. Then she ate one and now she loves them! ~ karen

  21. I know you don’t know me from Adam, but I feel compelled to express my disdain for no-carb diets. Being hypoglycemic and currently pregnant, I could no more remove carbs from my diet than paint my toenails. And your brain runs off carbs – do people really WANT to become zombies?! Feed your brain! Switch to real food (local stuff that will rot if it gets old), make your foods from scratch, and use only whole grains. Grind your own grains and cook immediately with them when possible. The benefits of eating this way are almost as awesome as the yumminess of the food you’re eating. Freshly ground whole grains supply the vit E we all lack now that our flour sits on shelves for weeks before we bring it home, keeps your body clean of toxins (imagine no more allergies, digestive issues or sinus infections), and is so yummy!! Seriously, carb-free is stupid. Thanks for letting me vent on your comments. 🙂 love your blog.

    • Conservatory Girl has a few good points but seems to fail to realize that no diet is likely to ever be zero carbs (unless you only ate meat – but since the plan I gave Karen’s boyfriend was originally designed for a vegetarian with options of how to integrate meat for those who chose to an all meat diet doesn’t reflect what I suggested in any way). In fact the diet I suggested (that Karen’s boyfriend and Karen followed) was more than 50% carbs by calories (many days hitting closer to 60%.. The problem is that people equate carbs with bread. The two are not the same). Breads are a form of simple carbs, but lettuce, root veggies, dates, fruit, nuts, seeds, etc are all made up of carbohydrates in some combination with proteins and fats. Just like people get foolishly obsessive over protein, others get obsessed with carbs. The trick is to eat real food. I suggested that they eat whole grains daily, tons of veggies, some meat, and no processed foods, flour products, and simple carbs. Grinding their own flour would be totally healthy, but a bit more than most are really interested in doing – as you can see, just asking people to avoid bread and cook different recipes was difficult enough for many. What Karen means when she says “no carbs”, is no bread, pasta, and junk food for 2 months – not because you can’t ever at those foods and be healthy, but because we eat so much of them without thinking about it, and this was a way to get people to think about what we eat, where it comes from, and how it’s prepared. The reason it was called a whole foods meal plan was because I told them to only eat real whole foods that they could have grown or found themselves, not the processed frakenfoods so prevalent in the grocery store.

      • Karen says:

        Sorry Adam – As you can see lower in the comments I cleared up the fact that I was talking about potatoes, bread, etc. I assumed people understood that’s what I was talking about since a “no” carb diet would mean you were existing on well … almost nothing. ~ karen! Oh! And in today’s post on Curried Chicken Salad, you’ll see you’ve been elevated from Asshole to “really nice guy”. karen!

        • Karen, thank you for not banning me from your comments sections. The pregnancy and hypoglycemia have rendered me utterly impulsive and emotionally charged, so I appreciate your patience! I think you’ll find my brain’s capable of logic, wherever it’s hiding…

          • Karen says:

            No problemo. I think it’s funny that you’re apologizing, while I’m the one who called Adam an asshole. Mind you .. I’ve also called my chickens, my fella and a piece of gum an asshole in the past week so I figured Adam wouldn’t take it the wrong way. ~ karen

      • Love the idea of whole foods! Sorry for the misunderstanding, Adam/Asshole/Really Nice Guy. When I read “no carb” I was reminded of the truly crazy people who used to shop the health food store I once worked at, truly trying to avoid ALL CARBS. Including potatoes and other root veggies, most fruits, and many seeds. Of course Karen has a functioning brain, so she would choose a dietician of similar mental caliber. I should have deduced that my previous definition of a no carb diet couldn’t possibly be what you or her would suggest. Thanks for setting me straight! 🙂

  22. Liz S. says:

    The cookies sound much better than they look. I’m going to try to make some this weekend. I’m turning more and more hippie every day. A friend of mine convinced me to mix up my own laundry powder and use white vinger as fabric softner. I thought she was crazy and now I’m in love and my laundry smells awesome.
    Oh and I love the old school food processor!

  23. Barry says:

    All the gluten-free lactose-free weirdos at work are gonna love these! Thanks!

  24. Bill Grigg says:

    “If you think you might be sharing them with an actual hippie, make ‘em a bit more filled with pot.”

    Karen, You now owe me a blog on how to clean my monitor after having coffee laugh-sprayed all over it.

    BTW, I’ve had similar hippie cookies, “both ways”, and they’re very good. (I DO live in BC).

  25. Brittany says:

    Are you/Were you Thrive Dieting (alternatively Thrive Fitness(ing))? My husband and I crossfit and we’re doing thrive diet which is a primarily raw vegan diet. I <3 it. I'm currently eating homemade energy bars that also look like poo. I had a coworker remark that they look delicious which makes me wonder about him…

    • Karen says:

      Brittany – I don’t know about this Thrive diet. It was from a Crossfit gym and the meal plan was your choice of Paleo or Whole Foods. Since I already cook primarily Whole Foods (without being insane about it) we chose that. I well … I hated it. LOL. No carbs, no nothin. I love food and cooking too much to live like this. The cookies were good though! 🙂 ~ karen

      • Brittany says:

        Gotcha. Thrive is essentially a Whole Foods diet that the author (Brendan Brazier) has whipped up with a whole long explanation of why it’s good for you. He doesn’t restrict carbs to a crazy extent..like you CAN have a bun with your almond flaxseed burgers, but it has to be a whole grain type thing. It’s mostly no-soy, no-dairy, no-meat, no-corn and primarily a raw diet. I’ll definitely be adding the cookies into it though. They sound delicious.

  26. This is a classic raw food treat – try adding some raw cacao and maybe form balls and roll in a little shredded coconut for a super yummy variation!

  27. Elen says:

    LOL That is too funny. If I can get over the whole “looking like poo” thing, I might even make these. So glad I found this blog. I tweeted and Facebook-ed this post today AND Skyped my Michigander of a sister. My work here is done. Cheers!

    • Karen says:

      Thank you Elen! Those Facebook posts, Tweets and Stumbles make a HUGE difference to me. It’s the best way to introduce my blog to more people! Which enabled me to continue to write this blog. Thank you! ~ karen

  28. Jenn says:

    These are homemade Lara or Cliff bars!

    Great post, thanks!

  29. Maureen says:

    Disclaimer: I don’t own a pair of Birkenstocks, I shower everyday and do not, let me repeat, DO NOT smell like patchouli but I am so going to make these cookies! I think my unicorn is going to love them.

  30. Kim Fahrni says:

    Hey….Your “no cook cookies” could be called Nookies!!! Lol, I’m just saying….

  31. dana says:

    Oh yay! As you can see by my email address, gluten is off-limits for me, and baking in triple-digit Phoenix heat is out of the question, so this recipe is perfect! My husband will also love these, since he’s into whole foods and all that shit.
    One thing, though–cookies you don’t bake, and which look like poo could be called…”pookies”.
    Thanks Karen, you positively crack me up!

  32. Alicia says:

    Ha. I LOVE Nookies, please, call them Nookies 😉

    They sort of resemble an Eat More so I wonder if they taste like that!

    How long do they stay good for in the fridge?? (not that your bf has probably ever let them go longer than a week, but I’m just curious)

    Alicia

    • Alicia says:

      I meant that I love the name Nookies, not that I love Nookies, whatever they are… So I just looked it up, and it’s actually in the dictionary, and it does mean what I assumed it did. Interesting.

  33. Linda says:

    Hilarious! Thank you for a recipe i can use! I just started up with the primal/paleo meal plan again and these are really going to help.
    Did your stupid meal plan help with migraines? That’s why I do it.

    • Karen says:

      Linda – No. No help w/ the migraines. I get migraines once a month. If you know what I mean. At a certain time of the month. If you know what I mean. I get migraines when I get my period. If you know what I mean. ~ karen

  34. Jeanie says:

    Well, this American, living in the Philippines, LOVES your blog. I always get a smile out of your post and sometimes laugh out loud and insist my husband listens to me read to him, as I will be doing with this post! Thanks!

  35. debbie o'rourke says:

    Karen! Roll those babies in unsweetened coconut flakes and you have the closest thing to a toasted coconut timbit! I’m almost certain that’s how the cavemen/women did it way back when….

  36. tea says:

    Karen you are such a hoot! I read your blog at work and am always having to let my desk mates know what’s so funny.

    Just have to comment on your “retro Cuisinart” – haven’t seen that model for a while — looks like it still whizzes up a mean hippie log.

    • Karen says:

      It does! To be honest I had no idea my Cuisinart was retro. I mean I know it’s old, but I don’t know what a new one looks like. Haven’t paid attention. I’m gonna have to go look one up now! karen

  37. Name Lastname says:

    This look great – raw food recipes can be amazing and very flavourful. But your gym guy is not only an asshole, he doesn’t seem to know much about nutrition, such as the most basic concepts, such as what carbohydrates are. In what universe does something packed with dried fruit have no carbs? (Plus if you really ate no carbs, which I don’t know how you would do because I can’t think of anything edible that really has NO carbs in it except maybe water, I think you’d die pretty fast.)

    • Karen says:

      Name Lastname – That’s my fault, not his. When I reference a no carb diet I’m talking about bad carbs from potatoes, pasta, bread, and all those things. The carbs that are actually enjoyable. Like Frito Lay carbs. Not things like dried fruit carbs. ~ karen

  38. B.J.M says:

    Love the list of Ingredients! How about: “Get Stuffed Cookies” as a name for these beauties?
    I’m trying to think of what they could be dusted with to make them appear less…ummm, intense? How about nut crumbs of some sort?
    Really though, when it comes to eating a cookie I’ve never really balked at how they look, as long as they haven’t been on the floor.
    I’ll be making these cuties.
    Thanks eh,
    Brenda

  39. LARPkitten says:

    Mmm, this looks really tasty. Not to mention FANTASTIC for helping regulate my blood sugar. I’ll have to try this recipe!

    I wonder if they would look more cookie-like if instead of rolling it into a log, you rolled it out on either parchment paper or more nut-flour and used cookie cutters to shape them?

    • Karen says:

      LARPkitten – You could give rolling them out a shot! Their consistency might prevent nice cookie cutter shapes, (they’re fairly soft and pliable) but who knows! ~ karen

  40. Sam says:

    I used some dates that were a lot drier than the ones pictured, so the mixture wasn’t sticky enough to hold together to form poo-dough; I don’t eat dates often, so didn’t realize this until the end. If anyone else has this problem, try adding a TINY amount of apple juice; we’re talking a couple of teaspoons, added gradually while mixing until the mixture binds into a dough ball and your food processor tries to jump around the counter-top. This is a fantastic recipe, Karen. Thanks for sharing!

    • Karen says:

      LOL – “your food processor tries to jump around the counter-top.” That is a perfect description of what happens! You must have got it right! ~ karen

  41. Barry says:

    I finally got to make these! My food processor is a wuss and didn’t quite turn the nuts into a coarse flour. And the overall mixture at the end seemed a little dry and chunky, so I skimmed a couple of oily tablespoons of Nutella off the top of the jar. Deeeeeliciousness! (Ever since I discovered Nutella, I try to incorporate it into as many things as possible. It makes me happy!) Of course I’m sure peanut butter would also work well as a binder. Thanks again for sharing!

  42. Nancy says:

    I am so terribly sad that I don’t have a food processor. I want some Pookies or Nookies or Hippie Cookies!

    • Karen says:

      Nancy – I just told my photography instructor about these and he’s going out to buy a food processor! Of course I also told him how great they were for pesto so that sealed the deal. 🙂 Hope you eventually get your pookie, nookie, hippie cookie. ~ karen

  43. jennifer tooseman says:

    These look good. You could also add a bit of dessicated coconut to these to make them not so sticky! Good for snacks for kids! Great for people with gluten intolerance!!

  44. Lori says:

    I think I’ll try these for my Christmas cookie exchange!!! No one said they have to be cooked cookies!
    Thanks for sharing

  45. Peggy says:

    I recently found these via a friend via Pinterest. Talk about memories from my childhood, yeah I was a child of the 60’s/70’s, these are my Grandma’s date nut roll. The only difference…. well there is no difference except hers just used raisins instead of mixed dried berries. I make ies rolled in cocoa powder or my eldest son’s favorite is a little chocolate protein powder mixed in plus rolled in the stuff. But I have to admit my family looks at me askance when I make these…. wearing my birks, a puka shell necklace, etc. I figure they’ll get used to it in time (or not since they are teens, ha ha!)

  46. Hahaha, you make me laugh. I am sure this was most likely covered in the comments above, but sounds like your ‘no carb’ diet is more of a no processed foods kinda thing? Those delicious looking Hippie cookies seem to have an good punch of sweetness in them, if I am not mistaken. (Lol,and yesss, I am another one of those Gym Assholes 😉 )
    Simone

    • Karen says:

      Hello Asshole! We’ve gone back to regular eating which is similar to this “diet”, but I’m allowed potato chips. 🙂 ~ karen

  47. anna says:

    I enjoyed reading your recipe! Very funny! I’ll have to try them.

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Anna! They’re really good. Well … they’re really good considering they’re an incredibly “healthy* cookie. 🙂 ~ karen!

  48. Delvalle says:

    OK Karen so I’m officially an addict of your site.

    Halloween is on it’s way and for the first time since I was 10 I’m going to Halloween party. This is not my idea of fun but I’m going and I’m going to have fun, damn it!
    Any ideas on cheep, run around the house and find something to call a costume, other than a sheet.

    Thanks for the laughs

    D

    • Karen says:

      Delvalle – Thanks! Well … when I went to Halloween parties I always went as people. Marilyn Monroe, Morticia Adams … but an easy thing to do is write book on your forehead and go as Facebook. Not a great idea, I know. I have a confession. I *hate* coming up with Halloween costume ideas as much as you do, LOL. Sorry! ~ karen

  49. Adele says:

    I found your website today from a link on Pinterest, I have bookmarked your site and “I’ll be back”! I love your sense of humour. and of course your great posts. You know when you meet someone and after a couple of minutes you think, we could be friends – that’s how I fell about you, my new best friend. That isn’t creepy right? Right?

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