Unveiling the 4-Day odyssey that is the grooming of Philip the Poodle. It's like trimming a topiary that moves and toots while you're nose to nose with his puff machine.
This is an abridged version of what I do every 6 weeks to my almost 2 year old blue standard poodle Philip, also known as Lip. I'm an awful, amateurish groomer with no technical skills at all.
Please enjoy.
Table of Contents
Day 1
Shaving his face, feet & trimming his nails.
Poodle hair grows everywhere and it grows constantly. Even though a typical poodle cut involves a shaved face, you don't have to do that.
Classic poodle haircuts and poodles in general elicit a visceral reaction from people. There are a lot of ACKS and BLECHS that come out of otherwise polite mouths.
A lot of poodle owners now let the face hair on their dogs grow out so they look like Teddy Bears.
It is called, appropriately enough, the dinosaur trim. Just kidding. It's the Teddy Bear Clip. The face isn't shaved, but it is trimmed to be round.
Like Lip's friend Sterling who looks like somebody pulled him off the shelf of a Steiff store.
In fact, there are a billion different combinations of heads and ears you can do on poodles.
Above, Sterling has a blended, round head & Philip has a defined topknot and ears. A year ago I had to watch all the YouTube videos on how to trim dog nails. Now I'm an encyclopoodlia.
For Philip I like a shaved face and feet so Day 1 of grooming is shaving his face, feet and trimming his nails.
Face and feet day takes about an hour.
Day 2
Line Brushing.
Poodle coats are wooly like sheep, very curly, and prone to matting especially anywhere there is rubbing or moving like under the arms and around the neck if they wear a collar all the time.
- Line Brushing - Line brushing is a grooming technique where you take very small sections of the coat and brush it out completely using a fine wire brush and then a comb.
Every single knot or tangle has to be removed right down to the skin so a comb can glide through it.
The full fluff is way too hot for the summer.
Once he's fully brushed (this can take anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 hours depending on the length and filth of his coat) he can get an initial quick trim.
This is a rough trim to take off excess hair. This is only done if you plan on taking the dog quite a bit shorter for their haircut. It shortens your bathing and blow drying time.
This is post initial quick trim. Notice the small mound of hair on the table. That will look comically small soon.
Day 3
Bath and blow dry day.
I heave all 65 pounds of poodle into the bath.
Nobody likes bath and blow dry day. The bath is done in my cast iron tub using a hand shower. Bathing takes a minimum of 30 minutes.
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After bathing there's a little ripping around time.
And then it's time for blow drying.
This is just the blow dry of his head.
Why do you have to blow dry? Why not let him just dry naturally?
Poodle coats naturally cord.
So if you don't dry the dog you run the risk of them becoming a single, large, obedient dreadlock.
So blow drying it is.
To blow out a standard poodle you need a high velocity dryer and a handful of pills that end in pam. Diazepam (Valium), lorazepam (Ativan) ... any of the pams will do.
After the blow dry we relax and repeat our mantra "Never again, groomers are worth every penny". Then we pass out.
Day 4
The cut.
The cut requires a pillowcase sized bag of treats, clippers, clipper combs and a variety of shears - some curved, straight and blenders.
It was during the clip when I had his back leg hoisted over my shoulder so I could trim his sanitary area and bum that he tooted in my face.
Specifically right in my nose. I could feel the puff of air.
The cut takes me at least a couple of hours. It involves contortion work on both our parts.
The Miami
I've trimmed Philip into The Miami clip. It's a poodle cut that has the entire body cut to one length, with poofs on the bottom of his legs.
Poodle people know those poofs as "bracelets", everyone else calls them pom poms. You shape a poodle's coat exactly the same way you would a boxwood topiary.
For this particular cut, I've left a neck on him which just means I've left the hair on his neck a bit longer and blended it into his short coat around his withers.
He looks pretty good, doesn't he?! He doesn't. He looks awful by show grooming standards. But the only reason for that is because I'm an awful groomer.
Every 3 or 4 months I take Philip to get a professional grooming job and then the grooms in between I use to practice.
Our next professional grooming job will be for Philip's August 2nd birthday when he'll turn 2 years old.
He'll get a big boy haircut with less floof and shaved ears so he will appear very manly and dignified. I'm imagining a Burt Reynolds vibe with more attention to the sanitary area.
Why 4 days?
Because as I mentioned - I'm an awful groomer and he'd be on the table getting groomed for morning until night otherwise.
That's too long for him and that's too long for me. By the end of the day we'd hate each other and wouldn't talk for days.
Granted, he's already not talking to me because of this ...
Norlaine Thomas
Thanks for this description and also now I feel I have permission to take multiple days to groom my old boy, Seamus. He's 14 and he doesn't like being groomed. Unfortunately, being a senior gentleman, he has a number of weird lumps and bumps on his skin, and I have found that professional groomers cannot be trusted to not cut them off, even when told to watch for them. His vet isn't worried about the bumps, she says old dogs get weird skin things just like old people, and if they aren't bothering him, just leave them alone. But he came home a couple of times from different groomers with open cuts where a bump had been lopped off. So now I clip him myself. Sigh. I am nervous and not very good at it, and he often looks "quilted" when I am done. But grooming is way overdue because of the busy-ness of Xmas, plus now he has laid down in something sticky and it's all over his front. I just came online to look for support and inspiration before I do the deed, and I found you. So, thank you!
Jayne
That handful of "pams" you mentioned- are those for Philip or for you? 😉 Sometimes I nurse a glass of beer while grooming my 2 standards. It helps everyone! Four days is about perfect. Phillip is gorgeous and you do a great job. I'm so impressed!
Karen
Thanks. Grooming is SO hard. I'm just barely feeling like I understand it. ~ karen!
Whitney
First your digs are beautiful and you do a great job. Im just starting on my poodle. He is a very handsome boy..Im going to see if I can do his face. Whish me luck.
Karen
Thanks Whitney. Good luck! I just helped a neighbour shave her poodle puppy's face and it went very well. Philip was a bit more of a struggle as a puppy. I got the job done but he squirmed and moved and didn't like it. Good luck and I hope it goes like my neighbours! ~ karen
Jessi
This had me laughing so hard as it's so relatable and similar to my experience trying to groom my standard... splitting it up into 4 days is genius! Thank you!
Vicky
How could you? He's a boy
Karen
He's my living topiary. ~ karen!
Ann
It takes less time to clip, groom and braid a horse for a show.
Karen
At least I don't have to pull his mane. ~ karen!
Leslie
You do a great job. I can't even trim my papillon's hair. But yes, poodle is work. I love seeing a real poodle cut. I once saw a photo of a standard poodle with dreds on its legs. it was very cool. probably smelly though
Leslie
I mean "dreads."
Anna
You know, I love how they look with a clip like this. However, my poodle is my running buddy. There is no way I'm taking him on the trail, throwing him in the river to cool off, doing our run, throwing him in the river again to cool off, and then taking him home for another bath followed by a 2 hour blow dry. We run four times a week. This would kill me. So his coat will remain short. Oh well.
Karen
It is a pain! I let him get as dirty as he wants to. We hike and go through mud and guck. Yesterday he played with a friend and spent half an hour wrestling and rolling in dry powdery dirt. I just brush him. But if he goes in stinky water? Yeah, then he absolutely has to have the full wash and blow dry. ~ karen!
Lynn
Dear Karen, there is something about big black poodles that tug at my heart. Do you show him? I think you must. I had a 95 pound black poodle. Grooming took 40 minutes. Every hair was three inches long. Done. He went swimming a lot at the dog park, where people would constantly, like everyday, compliment me on my beautiful Water Portuguese. "Why, how kind you are." Then we'd exchange knowing looks and giggle when they left. We liked the ringlets. You must show him.
Karen
Hi Lynn! No, I do not show Philip. I don't have time to add dog handler to the list of stuff I do. :) However, you have a good eye! Philip's father just retired from showing last year. You can see him here. In 2022 he was the 5th top show dog in Canada. I could have show Philip but we both really like obedience classes. ~ karen!
TucsonPatty
Lip looks sensational and you two are on speaking terms, so I call that a win! The dog groomer I watch on YT uses a Dremel-like tool for the nails. Nail technicians also use them. That sounds less scary than nail clippers. I think you’ve done an amazing job!
Karen
I use both. First I clip a straight bit off the ends. Then I round everything and take them shorter with the dremel. ~ karen!
J, from Hope
Karen-black boxes that should turn into videos-that won't no matter where I click! Please suggest,,,,,
Love your dog, love the standard poodle, so smart! But that coat is a lot of work,,,,,and I am sure that the grooming place charges $$$$$$. But Lip is a stunner!!!!!!!!
Karen
Hi J, from Hope! It could be due to a couple of reasons. 1) You might need to switch your browser to Chrome or something other than what you're using. 2) It could be that you have an adblocker on your computer. If you do, my videos won't show up for you. Or .. it could And thanks, Lip really is becoming a good boy. ~ karen!
ConCanDo
I’m exhausted just watching the videos.
Karen
It's definitely a bit of a thing. ~ karen!
Anne
Oh my gosh!! I thought I was the only one who took days for a full groom. Thank you for validating; I feel much better now. The dark nails terrify me, so off to Pet's Mart for the finish.
Auntiepatch
My 20 y/o female tabby needs a bath. You wouldn't want to take her on, would you? LOL!