Yes, you can. I'm telling you right now so you don't even need to read any further. You absolutely can grow a square cucumber. But it's a bit of a pain that I'm figuring out how to make easier.
I bought these cucumber molds for myself last year and I've been trying them this summer on both cucumbers and zucchini and they absolutely do work, they're just a bit stupid.
How are they stupid?
- When you buy the molds there's no way to clamp them together around the cucumber. You have to figure that part out yourself.
- The holes to screw or tie the 2 piece molds together are inconsistent sizes.
- They can inhibit or even stop fruit growth.
I ordered a 4 pack with 4 different shaped molds; square, star, flower and heart shaped.
Each mold is 9" long and has 12 holes along the side to bolt or screw them together. The problem is each mold has different sized holes.
Who cares?
These holes are a problem because ...
- You can't just buy one sized bolt and nut to screw them all together. And some of the holes are too small for even the smallest of bolts to fit through.
- Each mold has 12 screw holes which means if you hang 4 molds you have 48 bolts (or screws) to screw in. For 4 cucumbers. It's a lot.
- If it isn't properly secured all the way down, the mold won't work because the growing fruit is so strong it will push open the mold.
It's a well known fact that fruits spend an inordinate time in the gym so it isn't surprising they're so strong.
I began experimenting with alternative ways to clamp them shut rather than using the multitude of various sized screws and bolts.
- Short screws will fit through the holes where bolts won't. But you still have to stand in the garden with a screwdriver screwing and unscrewing.
- A piece of plastic or metal that could slide over the mold edges would work but they'd have to fit exactly and be made of something that's stronger than a cucumber. Like this chip bag clip that almost fits but doesn't.
(I removed the yellow centre part of the chip clip and it's still too small to fit over the 2 edges of the mold)
If on the other hand you need really good chip clips, these Gripsticks are easy to use and completely seal bags. One of my sisters got them for me for Christmas.
I'm currently trying toggle fasteners and waxed shoestrings.
Running the shoestring through the holes in a straight line gives the most secure closer but it's a pain because of how small the holes are.
The toggles aren't quite strong enough and slip when the cucumber grows.
Therefore, I've already abandoned this idea.
All of this feels like too much work for a single square shaped cucumber.
This is as close to a square as I've got so far, but it would have been much more successful if I'd just let the cucumber grow another day.
Letting the fruit fully fill the mold is IMPORTANT. If you don't, you'll have a partial heart or a partial star so don't be impatient. Let it grow.
This was the strangest thing that happened: the parthenocarpic cucumber (an expensive hybrid that doesn't need any pollination to produce fruit) turned Frankenstein when I put the cucumber mold on it.
The mold seems to have triggered the hybrid cucumber in some way. Two different cucumbers seemed to form - on the same cucumber. They were initially one normal cucumber, but once the mold was put it it became two that were attached like sausage links.
The top portion grew, while the bottom portion seemed to resist growing. It was weird.
But here's the thing. When cucumber molds work they really work.
The flower shaped mold produced perfect flower shapes.
This is an ongoing experiment until I can find something that's quick and easy to clamp the molds together. Binder clips is next on the list if I can find some lightweight strong ones.
If you have suggestions let me have them before my last surviving cucumber plant withers away into bacterial wilt oblivion.
And, Why?
Would this even be necessary? Or a want?
If it ain't broke ...don't fix it.
Because life without curiosity and experimentation is not as interesting as life with it! ~ karen
Spring-loaded clamps ... with flat pieces of material to spread the load and keep the clamps from cracking the plastic material of the molds ... might do the trick.
Or not.
Rust is an issue. Plastic clamps that don't rust are sold, but their springs still rust in the out-of-doors. I couldn't find any that use stainless steel springs, which is pretty stupid, except for the one and only clamps that are 100% stainless steel. I bought 'em recently. They're called "Greenhouse Clamps". However, they're no better than mid-pack for clamping force. Idunno, maybe that would be perfect, maybe it'd be too weak. Here's the you-might-make a commish Amazon link:
ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I've also bought these stronger-clamping ones. No stainless steel spring. :
I repeat: I think a load-spreader between clamp jaw and mold is probably essential, not only to keep the plastic from breaking, but also to keep and parts of the clamping area from being clamped too weakly and letting the plant grow out through that area. Some thin flat wood should do it, or if you have sheet metal around, you could cut that out and use it. If they work, you could paint them on a future cold Winter's day so they last a lifetime instead of succumbing to the elements.
Idunno why there are huge gaps in my posted text above. Wasn't me.
Did you try zip-ties?
Hey, Karen, could you use floral wire to twist each pair of holes shut? Time consuming, I’m sure, but it might work. And the different shaped cukes are so great!
Nice try!! Id re-drill the holes and zip tie or stitch them up. A long time ago Lee Valley sold some vegetable mold kits so you could grow a zucchini or pumpkin in the shape of a face. I’ll always regret that I didn’t buy the kit. And I check in their website from time to time to see if they’ve brought them back.
The price of beauty is usually high! I'd be so happy to have a round one but it is too hot and dry down here. Thank you Republicans haters of science and global warming!
I thought this was the one politics free place I could come. How sad and how unnecessary.
You are absolutely right and I'm very sorry for adding that - wish I could edit or remove this comment. I certainly don't want to ruin Karen's blog.
Have you lost your mind? Do you think of these things in the middle of the night? Never a dull moment with you around!!!!!
I suppose you could always just try the Zen approach and be at peace with cucumber shaped cucumbers and zucchini shaped zucchini? It does seem like an incredible amount of work to make a novelty veggie... although if my local grocery store started selling oddball cucumbers, I'd probably treat myself to one costing $10 each. lol
Twist ties or small zip ties?
How about butterfly clamps? Maybe not the smallest ones but larger ones are pretty strong. Old fashioned document clams are also strong and have a longer bar to hold the mold edge.
Also - if you want to invest in it - I would check out wood clamps. Some of them are supper strong. And small enough.
How about tarp or trigger clamps? Little ones obviously.
Canadian readers can get Gripsticks at Lee Valley at a cheaper unit cost https://www.leevalley.com/en-ca/shop/kitchen/food-storage/bag-clips/70439-gripstic-clips?item=EA179
I have lots of wood clamps Kt, but they'd be too heavy. Once I loaded the mold with all the clamps to keep it secure it'd be so heavy it would pull the cucumber off the plant. I think there's a case to be made for metal butterfly clamps potentially. ~ karen!
What about a piece of clear tubing? Or wrapping each mold in packing tape?
I love binder clips and I think they might work for you. I use them to hold a towel on my oven door handle because I didn't want to be bothered with sewing velcro onto all my dish towels they way Martha Stewart suggested. They work perfectly !
Zip ties?
Zip ties are actually too large to fit through the holes. The manufacturing of these things really was not thought out, lol. ~ karen!
What about putting a larger zip tie around the circumference of the mould?
I didn't even think of that actually. I'll try it but I have my doubts that it would work. Or maybe I'd have to use a lot (like 12) of them. ~ karen!
Could you sew them into their molds? Like running stitch, rather than sewing and tying up each individual hole. Running the stitching back and forth along the whole length a few times should make for quite a firm closure even if only using cotton. Then they can be snipped open. Worth a try? They look cute, I think they’re worth it!
I did the other side of the mold like that (toggles on one side, stitch on the other). The stitch held up very strong and the toggles did not. But it's still a pain to "stitch" and unstitch them. There has to be a better way. ~ karen!
Most of my cucumbers came out looking like limes and gourds this year (I have no idea why), and I have been too busy struggling to keep Septoria leaf spot from killing all my tomato plants to even think about getting creative with cucumbers! Those shapes are sweet, though.
Zip ties? Though I realize getting them off can be a pain if you cinch them up really tight.
That is exactly what I was thinking - zip ties. They are strong and cheap and can be easily cut off with wire snips when you want to remove the mold. :)
Hi Jennifer! Yes, zip ties were one of my first thoughts. But they're too large to fit through the holes in the mold. :/ ~ karen!
Is the plastic too brittle to drill through to make the holes larger? Or drill new jokes and skip the strange ones.
And reusable zip ties.
New holes. Not jokes, you always have something new.
How about velcro straps, the type that comes on a roll to tie up plants.