I Made Beyond Beef Hamburgers

I tried a plant based "ground beef" because I'm easily influenced when it comes to food. Once a waiter said to me, Go ahead, try the barnacles and I said Yes. That's how easily influenced I am when it comes to food suggestions.

The brand of fake meat I bought was Beyond Beef. It's a plant based product for vegetarians and vegans to make burgers, chili or anything else that calls for ground beef.

For carnivores it's a way to feel like you're doing something good for the planet once you've washed your Ziploc baggies out for the 3rd time and can't think of anything else to do.

For this I was excited, because even though I don't eat meat every day, I do like to eat it a few times a week.

I, like a lot of you, love hamburgers. I, like a lot of you, have been told multiple times over the years that cattle are bad for the planet because of their sky poisoning burps.

There's more to it than that I think, but this isn't a post debating the effects of cows on environment.

This is a post debating the effects of imitation beef on your appetite.

The Test

O.K. I will set the scene for you.

I sought out and bought Beyond Beef after watching a documentary on Netflix that was supposed to be about the eating habits of identical twins but ended up turning into a vegan slasher film.

They wanted me to slash buying beef.

I was perturbed for feeling like I was duped, but duped I was, so off to the grocery store for fake meat I went.

It's sold in the freezer section of the grocery store, so that's where I stored it as soon as I got it home. When I decided to make burgers a few days later I forgot to take it out of the freezer in time and ended up trying to defrost it a bit in the microwave.

The result was meat that started to melt into a revolting silly putty coloured plate of goo.

DO NOT TRY TO DEFROST BEYOND BEEF WITH A MICROWAVE.

I cannot advise you to do that. Don't.

The product was pretty soft after my microwaving mistake and to make the burgers hold I felt like bread crumbs were definitely necessary.

It shaped into a hamburger patty perfectly and easily.

I cooked the burger in a cast iron pan.

Cooking it

The really wonderful thing is the size you make your burger is the size it will be when you're done cooking it. No more having to cut your hamburger buns down to size to fit your shrunken beef burger.

It browns really well but faster than regular ground beef so lower your temps a bit and keep an eye on it.

I managed to eat half of my delicious looking hamburger before I had to stop because I just couldn't get the smell out of my head or nose.

The SCENT from the raw "meat" stayed on my hands after multiple washings and even using hand sanitizer. That smell just ran up into my nose and held on for dear life. You will find out exactly what that scent was soon.

I don't know if this is a well known thing, or if anyone else has experienced the smell issue but it really was unpleasant for me.

What's It Made Of?

Water, peas and a fair amount of hydrogenated oil.

Beyond Beef isn't a healthier choice than beef, it's just another choice. For a healthier choice, bean burgers would be your option.

Full Ingredient list

Water, pea protein, expeller-pressed canola oil, refined coconut oil, rice protein, natural flavors, dried yeast, cocoa butter, methylcellulose, contains 1% or less: potato starch, salt, potassium chloride, beet powder color, apple extract, pomegranate concentrate, sunflower lecithin, vinegar, lemon juice concentrate, vitamins and minerals (zinc sulfate, niacinamide [vitamin B3], pyridoxine hydrochloride [vitamin B6], cyanocobalamin [vitamin B12], calcium pantothenate).

Beyond Beef

1. Contains more grams of fat than lean ground beef.
2. Contains sightly less saturated fat than ground beef.
3. Has a lot more sodium than ground beef.
4. Has about the same amount of protein.
5. Has about the same amount of calories.

	Calories	Fat (g)	Sat fat (g)	Chol (mg)	Sodium (mg)	Carb (g)	Fiber (g)	Protein (g)
Impossible Burger (4 oz)	240	14	8		370	9	3	19
Beyond Burger (4 oz)	230	18	5		390	7	2	20
85% lean ground beef (4 oz)	240	17	6	80	80			21
Ground turkey (4 oz)	170	9	2	80	70			22
Black bean burger (Sunshine Non-GMO Original brand) (2.5 oz)	230	13	1		300	20	3	10

So don't pick it for your health because there doesn't seem to be an advantage.

Taste, Smell & Texture

RAW

Taste I couldn't bring myself to taste it raw. Mainly because of ...
Smell Beyond Beef smelled like a toasted bagel dipped in Jello to me. Yet it looked like meat. It was disturbing.
Texture In it's raw form Beyond Beef looked quite similar to a very uniformly produced ground beef. There were white bits of solid fats throughout giving it the look of beef.

COOKED

Taste It doesn't taste like beef. I hoped covering the burger in all the condiments available would distract from this fact. It really didn't.

Smell The Jello bagel smell was less pronounced but it was still there on my face.

Texture The texture was excellent. They've done a really good job of simulating ground beef in that department. It fries in a pan very similar to ground beef with browning and caramelization happening more quickly.

Cost

Beyond Beef costs $2.94 per 100 grams with a 340 gram package selling for $9.99. (as of March 2024)

Lean Ground Beef costs $1.65 per 100 grams

If I liked it, I was willing to pay nearly twice the price for Beyond Beef because I'm single, I have no kids and own all the designer bags I need (1, it's a large leather Prada). I can afford to be a Beyond Beefer.

Pros and Cons

In Summary

For me, the homemade Beyond Beef burger was a fail. The only other time I've only eaten half a hamburger was when it was my second hamburger of the night.

I wanted so very badly to like it. I didn't have to love fake meat, I just needed to not to have to wash my hands 97 times after touching it. It only needed to be 'fine'. A very slightly obstructed view at a concert fine. Tap water fine. Local news anchor fine.

I'm not giving up on my quest to find a decent ground beef alternative so I hope the food magicians and scientists aren't either.

I'm going to try this again (because I optimistically bought 2 packages of it) but I'll either make chili or meatloaf the next time.

I will not add in any barnacles.