Folded some laundry, bleached my dirty fingernails, did not write a post on kale salad, tidied the office, rearranged my bedroom, self soothed after a centipede spraying episode, trolled Facebook friends, made a prank phone call, and went to the dentist. These are all the things I’d done by 10:40 this morning in an attempt to avoid writing. The dentist thing was tricky because I had to make up a believable yet inexpensive and pain free reason to go. I went with the old “I think I have a weird edge on my tooth that sticks out and might cut my tongue off, but it might just be my imagination, p.s. could I get a free toothbrush and toothpaste“.
At this very moment as a matter of fact I’m sitting on my porch, laptop on my legs, staring at what I thought was a monarch butterfly in distress but just turned out to be half of a small Cheetos bag tumbling across the grass. No Cheetos in it. I checked. If I find I can’t muster up the enthusiasm to write in my office, I sometimes take my work outside to the porch or backyard where I can at least by entertained by nature and garbage while I don’t write.
It’s not that I don’t care about you or want to write a bunch of words strung together for you in an informative, yet entertaining manner, it’s just that it’s summer.
Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.
~ John Lubbock
Also did you know Taylor Swift and Lourde are friends?! I learned that while scanning Buzzfeed between the dentist and the Cheeto’s bag.
I manage to get all my work done in the summer, it just takes me more time, more focus and more money. I’ve also been browsing Amazon. So work avoidance is the one thing I manage quite regularly in the summer, the other thing is eating kale. For the past 4 years or so I’ve been eating this kale salad almost every single day from summer until my black kale finally dies back in January or February.
Black Kale, the only vegetable to be known by more names than Puff Daddy, is a less bitter kale than what you might be used to. Under most circumstances it is also less bitter than Puff Daddy.
Black Kale also goes by the stage names: Tuscan Kale, Lacinato Kale, Cavolo Nero or Dinosaur Kale.
Black Kale is the only kale I like.
Which is a good thing because as far as Kale goes (which we all know is a “superfood” blah, blah, blah) Black Kale has some very specific benefits.
The Health Benefits of Black Kale
- Black Kale contains a thing in its cells that gets converted to another “thing” once it’s chewed. This second “thing” has been proven to inhibit and destroy cancer cells. You will get 10X the anti-benefits if you eat the kale RAW. Here’s one of the studies if you’re the medical journal type. The “thing” is called aIsothiocyanates (ITCs) by the way.
- Kale is also anti-inflammatory which helps with arthritis, asthma and autoimmune disorders.
- Per gram, kale is packed with more calcium than milk.
- In 2013 a study was done and preliminary findings were that Black Kale in particular had neuroprotective and immunomodulatory effects. This means Black Kale is now being studied as something that could provide health benefits for people with MS.
So in between chasing Cheetos bags and prank calling Betty I have researched and established that kale is indeed good for you and Black Kale is particularly good. We have also learned on our little journey today that you get 10 X, TEN TIMES, the health benefits in terms of kale being an anti-cancer agent if you eat it raw. I didn’t know that. All I knew is that I really like this kale salad and I eat it a lot.
I’ve talked about it for years now and I figured with fresh, locally grown kale available to one and all, this would be the perfect time to lay it on you.
It’s my favourite salad for 3 reasons: It has very few ingredients, it’s easy to make and you can dress this salad and leave it in the refrigerator for a week and it doesn’t go soggy.
The actual salad is made up of just 3 things. Black kale, parmesan cheese and toasted breadcrumbs (or croutons). That’s it.
So the only prep work is making the dressing and cutting the kale.
Kale has tough ribs so I remove those first. Just slice down either side of the rib and pull it away from the kale. Then, because even though black kale is the least tough of all the kales, you still need to slice it fairly thin to make it easier to chew. I mean, it IS kale after all. I cut my kale into anything from 1/4″ to 1/2″ wide strips across the width of the kale.
Then I pour on my dressing (recipe at the bottom of this post) and perform the MOST important task with ANY kale salad. I touch it. I caress it. I give it a massage.
Massaging the kale does 2 things. It helps open the cell structure which makes the kale less tough and it allows the dressing to enter the kale giving it better flavour. Kind of like simmering a stew. Massage the salad and then put it in the fridge for a day. You can eat it right away but it’s much better after it’s been massaged and recuperated from it’s massage for 24 hours.
When you want to eat it, just pull a handful out of the bowl, top it with shaved or grated parmesan cheese and some toasted breadcrumbs. I use spelt crumbs when I can find them otherwise I just crunch up a few croutons with my fingers and sprinkle them over the salad.
- 1/2 cup olive oil
- 1/4 cup lemon juice
- 3 garlic cloves minced then mashed
- 2 Tablespoons white wine vinegar
- 1/2 tsp salt
- Big pinch of red pepper flakes1-2 bunches of kale depending on the size of your family and their appetite for kale
- Parmesan cheese to taste shaved or grated
- Bread crumbs or croutons
- Prep kale by removing ribs and cutting leaves into 1/4" - 1/2" strips.
- Whisk together the first 6 ingredients.
- Pour dressing over prepped kale.
- Massage dressed salad then refrigerate overnight.
- Add big shavings of parmesan cheese and a handful of croutons or crumbs and serve.
- Salad will keep, dressed, in the fridge for up to a week.
Two other things that help me out with making this the easiest salad ever is using one of my favourite kitchen tips, this little premeasured salad dressing bottle DIY and keeping the kale fresh in one of these bags prior to prepping it.
For someone who couldn’t get their ass in gear to write this post I’ve managed to work this simple salad recipe into a whopping 1,200 words.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to “lie on the grass under trees on a summer’s day”. Rolling around like a bag of Monarch Cheetos.
How on earth did you do that? You made Kale sound delicious. OK I’ll give it a go – but only because it’s you (and you rescued a cheetos bag). PS: I really don’t like Kale.
agreed!!
Nobody really likes kale. ~ karen!
I love that you are honest…but I’m going to pick up some of that kale and make it this weekend. My farmers market stallholder doesn’t call it black kale – calls it the “floppy edible one” 🙂
Ha! ~ karen
Thank you so much for this recipe! I have a hard time digesting raw kale so I usually avoid it but the ‘massage’ and overnight soak in acid will help break it down a bit so I too can enjoy the deliciousness and reap the health benefits. Genius!
It makes allll the difference. 🙂 ~ karen!
I finally tried it and….I love it! That dressing is so amazing I want to marry it. Seriously. I’m going to use it, and some version of it with different oils/acids, for all my salads from now on. I can’t believe I’ve been buying dressing all these years when I can make a much better tasting one at home. Thanks for changing my salad world Karen!
Love kale! Have you tried substituting seasoned rice vinegar for white vinegar in your dressing? Yum!
Also if you didn’t knew after almost 3 years of being the bigger person Katy perry became lame by releasing a very bad song about the feud with Taylor swift that none of the 2 had actually confirmed, just when everyone had lost interest and she was actually winning the fight by no acknowledging it
Also, happy early birthday to your youngest!
I *did* know that! Not that it matters to me. I’m team Selena. ~ karen!
Quintanilla or Gómez?
Meyers. From VEEP. ~ k!
Selina Meyer then! Isn’t JLD the best? With women like her and you I’m amazed at how some people say women can’t be funny
That’s right … Selina! Not Selena. Selena is Gomez. Selina is Meyer. Loveeeeeeee her in that show. INSANELY good! ~ karen
My teenage twin daughters HATE kale – especially cavolo nero. BUT, one of them has insisted on giving up dairy products, so I’m going to sell this salad to her as containing more calcium per gram than milk. Ha ha – I’m going to have such fun forcing them to eat it. I think it sounds delicious, by the way.
Okay – you win… I’ll try it. I like the idea I can make it in advance and it will last for up to a week. Good for work lunches. I can just add my own extras to it. Thanks Karen.
That’s the beauty of it Kathleen! ~ karen
I’ve been making this same salad for years, and this may sound odd, but instead of breadcrumbs I put in smoked almonds, chopped dates (or cranberries), and thin sliced onions. Maybe that helps with some add-in ideas? It’s addictive.
Sounds yummy. I’m definitely going to give it a try. I will prep it all this weekend and see how it goes next week. I will report my findings soon! 🙂
I like the fact your salad doesn’t involve remembering to buy pomegranates and walnuts (because the children have eaten the rest of the walnuts for breakfast). I’ll definitely try it.
I know as soon as anybody says they don’t like something, everybody else immediately feels the need to challenge it, but if you ever get the chance to try red russian kale (well, that’s what it’s called in the UK https://www.chilternseeds.co.uk/item_1758b_kale_red_russian_seeds ), I find it even more tender and less bitter than cavalo nero- I eat it from the bag it’s so good. Like a substantial salad leaf rather than kale. Anyway, you might like it.
Hi Hazel! I’ve grown pretty much every kale including … red russian kale. I’m gonna stick with the black. 😉 ~ karen!
Fair enough 🙂
I like the sound of the salad with any kale.
That sounded so yummy that I am going to have to give it a whirl. No breadcrumbs though – will have to try nuts or perhaps even chickpeas……..
Karen, Here are a couple more summer quotes to mull over while lolling in the grass:
“Hey! It’s summer! Be free and happy and fanciful and uninhibited and now-y!”–Terri Guillemets
“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.”–James Dent
I enjoy your musings about almost anything. Glad you were in the NYT.
Thanks Wendy! ~ karen
Omg – I eat exactly the same salad every night except I use a bit of Caesar dressing and sometimes I add beet tops, lettuce, and other greens. So yummy!
I make a salad very similar to this with a homemade yogurt Caesar dressing (that has a tiny bit of mayo too). Yours sounds delicious. I can’t wait until my garden kale is big enough to harvest – because the only kale the store seeks in northern Minnesota I’d the curly kind. But at least they sell any kale at all.
I’m struggling to believe that you can dress this salad and it will keep for a week but I’m going to give it a try.
It’s true. 🙂 ~karen!
I make kale slaw it is so good, I just do a rough chop and add it to my cabbage and then use my regular cole slaw dressing it is yummy..
You must have been very tired and went to bed early (having finished the post on your porch) since you haven’t responded to anyone and it is almost 7:30 AM! Good for you. BUT, probably you are out in your garden harvesting and even more tired but smart to get out in the heat before Noon. I do love kale and thank you sharing the difference between black and other kale.
I detested kale when I started reading this post and I detest it even more now. Masssage my food??? Nada.
Amen, Marilyn. All the wondrous benefits aside, kale is a big nasty weed. I’ll stick to spinach.
Hey Karen,
This looks delicious. I make a food.com “Massaged Kale Salad” from Aarti Sequeira that I love. I have a question–is there anything at all other than compost that can be done with the stems of Kale? PS. Just seeing your post in my inbox brings a smile to my face everytime.
I think most kale is pretty much garbage, lol. But the stems especially. I think the only thing the stems could possibly be used for is to flavour vegetable stock. ~ karen!
Get a rabbit, they like kale.
Ha! I knew someone would say feed it to pigs/bunnies/etc. unfortunately for me–no animals, thanks though!
Did you know there is a gizmo for stripping the stalks from the leaves of thing and leaving the stalk? It is a plastic disk about the size of the palm of your hand with little to larger holes in it. Using the tightest but useable hole you feed the stalk through and strip off the leaves. I have done kale and thyme. Kale is easiest. I got it at Lee Valley and I think it was worth it but then I like my Instant Pot.
Ha! Instant Pot lover. I haven’t seen that! I’d love one actually if it works because cutting the stalks is what takes the longest in this particular salad. ~ karen!
Hi Kathy, do you know the name of your stripping gizmo? I have been on the Lee Valley site, but I can’t find it.
I don’t know if this is the same one as you have, but I found this at Amazon by searching “leaf stripper.” There are a number of versions. https://www.amazon.com/Chefn-Chard-Collard-Greens-Stripper/dp/B00QWNRGS8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499556364&sr=8-1&keywords=leaf+stripping+tool&refinements=p_72%3A2661618011. Thanks for the tip!
I actually like the taste of kale, especially in fruit smoothies. It gives it a clean, summery taste. But I have a question. I planted a kale plant last year, don’t have a clue what country it hails from, and it kept me in leaves to mix with salad or put in smoothies right up until December. I live in PEI so not much will survive the winter and I was very surprised to see it turn green again in the spring, grow monstrously big and produce a lot of yellow flowers, much to the delight of the bees! I was thrilled, love to do my bit for the bees and there were line-ups for every blossom. Are you supposed to cut them back? And if so, when? And how severely? If it’s before blossoming, ain’t gonna happen.
Kale Yeah!
Okay, did my Amazon thing, bought some seeds. Not sure if it is too late to plant or not, but gonna give it a try. Because, kale yeah! I suddenly want to try this salad, haha.
Omg, if you haven’t already can you do a post on how you bleach your fingernails?? I’m always looking for a better way than what I do…
I spend most of my workdays trying to remember to hide my less-than sparkling fingertips (and that’s even with my nails clipped as short as possible).
Thanks!
Dig your fingernails into bar of soap before you start Gardening.
Oh, that is genius. Thank you!!!!!!
Keeps for week in the fridge? Sounds like my kind of salad!
Do chickens like kale? (Hint) Let’s hear about the ladies!! What’s new?
I have a ridiculous amount of Kale in my garden, so I’m definitely going to try this. I had no idea how prolific a producer Kale is! I figured a few plants would keep our family of 4 stocked for salad for the summer. However, even after I fill up produce bags with cuttings, the garden still looks exactly the same. I swear the plants all pop out several new leaves every night, especially with all the rain we’ve had in the GTA.
Karen, do love even your ramblings because I know you are always going some place interesting before you are finished and this posting was not disappointing.
Used to have a HUGE garden and kale and collard greens were always on my favorites list to grow and eat. Don’t have a viable garden any longer, since my husband tended to it and he’s now old and not well so the garden has gone to weeds! Sad but I already have way more on my hands to deal with to think of tackling the garden too so I buy my kale these days. I’m just lucky it’s healthy so expecting a wide variety of choices is probably too much to ask the grocery chains in Maine, LOL!
BTW, I bought one of those supposedly “GREAT” kale strippers and in my opinion it’s a colossal flop! You can’t get it to work on the big tough leaves and it breaks up the tiny leaves. Easiest way to strip kale from the stalks is a very sharp paring knife, hold the leaves vertical and just run the knife down the stalk on both sides. Quick, easy and definitely not frustrating.
Since I do love kale and had a freshly prepared batch in the refrigerator I fixed a garlic shrimp salad last night with thinly sliced curly kale and spinach, fresh diced BIG juicy tomatoes and cucumbers plus lots of slivers of parmesan cheese dressed with a raw cider vinegar, olive oil, garlic, Dejon mustard, s&p dressing! Delicious.
Salad sounds great.
I like the stripper because I am too good a chopping fingers with sharp knives. I need to dumb it down a little. My hand/eye coordination leaves something to be desired.
Good god almighty! This salad is the bomb! I have never been a kale lover but sought out some black kale this week and prepped the salad yesterday. Ate it for lunch today and seriously was so happy, loved it so, so much! Amazing how it will keep so nicely. Thank you so much for sharing, have been waiting (im)patiently ever since you mentioned it was coming.
Glad you liked it! Last night I had the last of the one I made up *over* a week ago. Still perfect. 🙂 ~ karen!
Thank You for this post! Just learned so much! Now Kale sounds delicious!
The only thing I got from this post was the shock of you cutting kale on your marble counters. WHAT! I know you wouldn’t do that! I’m still a bit disturbed.
I just took a food styling workshop, and after every scene, I couldn’t help but think “that’s not practical”. Pretty, yes, but not practical. I’m considering renaming my blog to “cat hair and stained tea towels” but I might be the only person who wants practical, believable things.
I cut on that marble all the time. It’s an antique marble countertop that’s covered in stains, etching and cracks. Which is how I like it. You can cut on almost any stone surface. The only thing that might happen is your knife will dull more quickly. And yes sometimes bloggers do put up things that might be seen as impractical but there’s often a practical reason for it. Like lighting options or how things look differently in a photo than they do in real life. Chairs need to be angled, plants moved etc. to fit into a shot. That’s just the way it is. It has nothing to do with trying to fool the world. Not in my case anyway. ~ karen!
Made the salad exactly as written. Came out perfect and so delicious. Thank you!!!
I’m eating this out of the tupperware right now. Partially because it’s good, and partially because it’s the only food in the fridge and I’m lazy. I have added hemp hearts and various seeds, so it’s practically a meal, right? plus it’s healthy!
I finally made this and WOoooOW!!! I will likely be eating it nightly, just like you. Thank you!!!
You’re welcome! ~ karen
I have a big garden and grow lots of Tuscan (+aliases) Kale . I don’t like how the curly kinds feel in my mouth. Here are 4 more ways to use it that most of my guests really like, even love. (I don’t massage the kale, I just dress it and let it sit in the refrigerator. It softens up all by itself.)
Kale Salad #1: To stripped and ripped kale, add chopped dried figs, chopped Italian parsley, toasted nuts (hazelnuts, pecans, whatever you like) and crumbled blue cheese. Dress with balsamic vinegar, olive oil, salt, and pepper. I eat it by the trough.
Kale Salad #2: To stripped and ripped kale, add grated parmesan or romano cheese ( I like bigger grated shreds, not tiny grated granules) chopped pears, and a handful of crushed amaretti cookies. Sounds weird, but the cookies add just a hint of a flavor and sweetness nobody ever can identify. Dress with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper again. Get out your trough again to serve yourself.
Wilted Kale Italian style: throw the stripped and ripped kale into a big frying pan with a little water. Cover and cook until it wilts, then remove from pan. Add olive oil to pan, saute some garlic, a handful of nuts and raisins together a bit. Then add kale, dance this mess around à la B-52’s old hit, add salt and pepper to taste. Yum.
Kale and apple juice: I find kale juice plain to be , in your words, yuk. But if you juice it with dilute it with apples (maybe half and half??) and some water and ice, it’s great.