O.K. This is gonna be short and simple ya hear me? It's 5 days until Christmas and I only found out today.
I have a crap load of stuff to do and I don't even know where to start. Please excuse me while I go into a closet and scream for a moment.
O.K. I'm back.
So bows! They're a ridiculously, stupid amount of money to buy. And they're usually ugly. So what does that mean? It means if you buy store bought bows you're stupid and ugly. No, wait. It doesn't mean that at all. It means your skimpy store bought bows are gonna cost you a lot of cash, look ugly and won't enhance your gift giving experience at all.
The person you give the gift to will graciously accept it (unless they're 7 and it's something they don't want) but behind your back they'll snicker at your stupid, ugly bow that cost too much money. I've even heard rumours about people getting punched in the nose for presenting a bad bow. But that's probably just a risk in my family. We get kindda ornery around gift giving time.
So what's a girl or guy to do? Well, over the next few days I'm going to give you a few suggestions on how to pimp your presents. All for little or NO money.
Starting today with the NO MONEY bow.
Here's how it works.
Start wrapping your present. You know ... the way you normally would.
You may notice there's all that extra paper at the end of the gift box.
I always, always have to cut paper off the ends of my presents when I'm wrapping them.
I'm sure you're the same. 'Cause we're alike you and I.
These cut off ends of paper are key ...
Because it's those leftover scraps of paper that are going to be your bow! Your not ugly bow!
Cut the extra paper at the ends of your present.
Finish wrapping the present like you normally would.
Gather the two end pieces you cut off and admire them. They will soon be your beautiful bow.
Cut each length of paper into 2 or 2 ½ " strips.
Once you have your ends cut into long strips, cut them into 7" lengths.
To make the bow you need 13 pieces.
Cut a square piece of cardboard or cardstock into a square. From 3" x 3" to 4" x 4".
The wider your strips, the bigger your square of cardstock should be.
I used an index card.
Tape all of your 2" x 7" strips together at the ends. Don't overlap the ends. Just push the ends together and run tape across the edge.
See? Like this.
Now place your square cardstock down and start taping the loops onto the edge of the card.
First tape four of them, centred, at the edge.
Then place your next 4 pieces in between the original 4 pieces.
Like so ...
Now you have 8 loops around the edge of the card.
I'm sure you can see at this point ... this thing is starting to look like a bow. A big one.
Now add your next four pieces in the remaining spaces.
Almost a bow! Good thing 'cause I'm starting to get antsy. I need to get a lotta sh*t done.
Did I mention it's only 5 days until Christmas? It's true. I looked at a calendar. A real one made of paper that hangs on the wall.
Now you just have the final loop to add to the centre of the bow. The huge bow.
And from another angle ... ta da.
And on the actual gift ... ta da.
Now you all know how much I love Dollar Stores, but seriously ... you won't find this at the Dollar Store. Where you will find it ... is under my tree.
Now leave me alone. I have sh*t to do. I'm sorry. How rude. It is the festive season. I have Christmas sh*t to do.
(One of the things I need to do immediately is find out who apparently stepped on the bottom of my mother's present. Dolt.)