If you have EVER stood in front of a mirror while pulling any part of your skin back, up or sideways - this little experment is for you.
Getting older is gross.
I'd love to say I think growing old gracefully is the way to go but I'm not so sure about that. There isn't anything very graceful about an ass that hits the back of your knees.
But at least you can improve your ass with a good pair of jeans. We can disguise flabby arms with long sleeves and bad hair with hats and ponytails.
But what do you do when you're having a bad face day? Botox and fillers are an option but they can lead to frightening results if they aren't used properly plus there's the whole issue with not being able to show your spouse that you're angry that they just farted next to you on the sofa.
So what's a gal to do when she wakes up one morning and realizes the face staring back at her is the very same one she had in high school. Only melted.
The buckle up into their face corset. Otherwise known as instant face lift tape.
That's what.
Would you like to save this stuff?
We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.
Yup. A couple of elastic bands and some super strength tape.
You too can have the face of your youth by wrapping your head in the packaging from a Barbie doll box.
Think plastic surgery for women is complete vanity? Yeah probably.
Why do more men decide to age gracefully than women?
My guess is it's because when men get wrinkled they look more manly, whereas when women get wrinkled they look more manly.
But what do I know? I'm just a young, fresh faced lass of 17. Sorry, that was the elastics speaking.
Dr.(ish) Karen Bertelsen
phD, BSc, oLd l.a.DY
The Instant Face lift sells for $16 on Amazon and gets a rating of 3.5 stars out of 5. The most brilliant stupid thing I've ever seen.
Jebberjay
Wow! That's awesome. I will get one for my bald headed father ... along with a nice long haired wig. Mom will say "John, I don't know what you've done but you look fabulous!" and they will skip merrily into the sunset, hand in hand.
Beckie
with my adhesive allergy, I think I'll keep my aging face as it is
the resulting skin-peeling rash would far less attractive, methinks
it is kind of ingenious, however
Debbie
I just keep imaging how traumatic it would be for everyone involved if one of the pieces of tape suddenly came loose and half my face was sagging and the other side looked youthful.
Su
OMG - too much effort....
Tigersmom
This would be the kind of thing I could only pull off in photos due to the high likelihood that I would have a similar experience as Leslie in comment 12. Only mine would injure not only me, but some poor innocent bystander as well.
Do you think this was discovered by some grandma making faces with tape with her grandkids? I can just see it.
"Hey Grandma, the tape when you put it on your eyebrows like that makes all those cracks around your eyes disappear!"
Grandma leaps up in a speed she usually reserves for suddenly necessary toilet runs and stares into the mirror thinking to herself, "I have found it...the fountain of youth."
Ruth
Oh. my. word! Someone is going to wet their pants reading these comments today.... may it not be me... Hahaha!
(I have to say that this discovery scenario seems plausible though...) :-D
Louise
OK, I'll confess . . . I actually bought this from Amazon. It's been sitting on my dressing table for 3 years and I've never actually tried it - it's just comforting to know it's there if I suddenly feel the need for it. This is the kind of thing that happens if you start cruising the internet late at night after a very bad day! (Don't judge me!)
Karen
I'm not judging. Like my title says "the most brilliant stupid thing" i've ever seen! There's a definite brilliance to this little piece of equipment. And I'm all for doing whatever you want to feel good. ~ karen!
meg
I wonder if this makes even looser skin; face pockets. Like hamsters but less useful on the outside of the cheeks...
TucsonPatty
This is sooo awesome! I remember on the daytime soap opera The Young and the Restless that Jeanne Cooper playing Katherine Chancellor got a face lift on the show. I remember seeing that she used something like this - tape with strings to the back of the head. This was in 1984. They say everything old becomes new again. I want this. For my saggy baggy neck. And jowls. And the allergy to tape - pshaw, I say!
Too funny - thank you once again for the laughs.
Lesley Williamson
OK I picture myself wearing all this ... face retainer ... (not this year but perhaps in 20 years or so) and attempting to smile, perhaps at at the grocery store, when suddenly the tape on my left cheek lets go, my jowl flops southward and the elastic whips around the back of my head and takes out my right eye. My shriek of pain almost, but not quite, drowns out the cashiers yodel of revulsion and terror. Chaos ensues. I can never visit this store, or go out in public, ever again. Its like that Star Trek movie - don't ask me which one but Patrick Stewart is in it - featuring a decrepit alien race who have used medical techniques to extend their lifespans by hundreds of years but have to resort repeatedly to ever-more-drastic cosmetic surgery to prevent their ancient skin from dragging around their ankles. Not pleasant. Not pleasant AT ALL.
TucsonPatty
"...the tape on my left cheek lets go, my jowl flops southward and the elastic whips around the back of my head and takes out my right eye."
Best visual ever. Hahahahaha
Ruth
LOL! *dying over here*
Ema
I remember that episode! It gave me nightmares! I was younger then...
Emily
Good lord! I just died so hard laughing both my girls came running from the back room to see if I was ok!
Best visual description ever!
Jenn
Also? Hello, Photoshop.
P.T. Barnum would be proud.
scarlett fiona reed
Karen I am honored you visited my site! Shopify didn't work so I do sell on etsy for now. https://www.etsy.com/shop/saffronandgenevieve?ref=si_shop I'll throw some more mended ironstone on tomorrow, I just scored a great piece in Texas!
jainegayer
I've always wondered how they did that!
scarlett fiona reed
This is funny, I actually found a kit just like this in my grandmothers things after she passed. The tape and string facelift has been around since at least the 50's. I personally wouldn't wear it, but: 1. I can see that it does work and 2. I don't think it is any weirder than hair extensions. Google "Westmore Beauty Book -- A Complete 1950s Guide to Vintage Makeup, Hairstyling and Beauty Techniques" . Or should I just send you the book? I think you'd enjoy it :)
Scarlett
Karen
I'm sure I would love it! I have decorating books from the 70's and they're GREAT. But if you want to send me something, send me the mended ironstone from your store, lol. I absolutely LOVE old mended china/pottery. You have REALLY great stuff in your shop. Fingers crossed one day you'll sell online. ~ karen!
Deb
Ok so a facelift costs around 6500 dollars. These are $15. I'm wearing these 24/7 until I save up for the knifing.
Vanessa
So what do you do when you wake up next to your fling who doesn't know he's 20 years younger and your tape has come loose? "Oh my god, my face melted!"
christine hilton
My computer is wearing coffee,thank you Vanessa.That was really funny.Best way to wake up.
Julie
it won't matter anyway since our boobs would be so saggy they'd hit him in the knees :)
Bobbi
I saw a woman on "Oprah" do this many years ago. I am surprised no one cashed in on the idea until recently.
Kathie
I also saw the same one on Oprah,I would love to see that show again!
Agnes
Wow. Ridiculous.
Mindy
Oh. Dear. Lord.
Alisha
Wow. "If you don't have long hair, you'll have to use a wig!" So now I'm not only concerned about my wrinkles, if the tape is showing and if it's falling off, but I have to be worried that my wig is on straight too. Geesh! That was actually harder to listen to than it was to watch.
Ema
Wow! I'm headed right over to Amazon and getting this before it sells out! You've done such a splendid job of advertising it. lol Seriously? I'll have to mention this to my 68 year old sister, recently widowed and on the prowl. I'm thinking she WILL jump on the bandwagon so fast she might break a hip. I'm a single gal... vastly aware of my aging body... I also am living with chronic myelogenous leukemia... I decided there's lots worse things I could be going through besides having sagging and wrinkled skin. Haven't figured out what it is yet, but I'm sure there is. :) I smile and carry on as best as I can... as gracefully as I can... as thankfully as I can...
Auntiepatch
So, your sister is on the prowl, huh? What happens when her new "friend" runs his fingers through her hair, releasing the rubber bands, and her face falls??? I can see it now: "Hey Honey, what is this in your hair? I'll get it." Snap! Sag! Screams from BOTH of them! LOL
Ema
lol You've made my morning! Thanks!
Leona
With any luck he'll lose an eye when the band snaps him and will blame her altered looks on his altered site. Wedding assured!