Getting older is gross.
I’d love to say I think growing old gracefully is the way to go but I’m not so sure about that. There isn’t anything very graceful about an ass that hits the back of your knees.
But at least you can improve your ass with a good pair of jeans. We can disguise flabby arms with long sleeves and bad hair with hats.
But what do you do when you’re having a bad face day? Surgery is an option but that’s incredibly frightening. Botox and fillers are an option but they can lead to frightening results if they aren’t used properly plus there’s the whole issue with not being able to show you’re angry with the spouse who just farted next to you.
So what’s a gal to do when she wakes up one morning and realizes the face staring back at her is the very same one she had in highschool. Only melted.
The stick on face corset.
Yup. A couple of elastic bands and some super strength tape.
You too can have the face of your youth by wrapping your head in the packaging from a Barbie doll box.
Think plastic surgery for women is complete vanity? Yeah probably.
Why do more men decide to age gracefully than women?
My guess is it’s because when men get wrinkled they look more manly, whereas when women get wrinkled they look more manly.
But what do I know? I’m just a young, fresh faced lass of 17. Sorry, that was the elastics speaking.
Dr.(ish) Karen Bertelsen
phD, BSc, oLd l.a.DY
The Instant Face lift sells for $16 on Amazon and gets a rating of 3.5 stars out of 5. The most brilliant stupid thing I’ve ever seen.
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