• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
The Art of Doing Stuff
menu icon
go to homepage
  • HOUSE
  • COOKING
  • GARDEN
  • HOW-TO
  • EXTRA
  • Subscribe
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
  • search icon
    Homepage link
    • HOUSE
    • COOKING
    • GARDEN
    • HOW-TO
    • EXTRA
    • Subscribe
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
  • ×
    Home » Garden Stuff

    SPEEDO GARDENING WITH A BEER IN ONE HAND AND A CIGARETTE IN ANOTHER.

    June 2, 2016 by Karen 65 Comments

    Pin8
    Share
    Email
    8 Shares

    Some of my earliest memories are of my father in a circa 1970's Speedo, standing over our backyard vegetable garden with a hose in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Actually if he was feeling particularly coordinated he had the hose in one hand, a beer in the other and a cigarette sticking out of his lips at the perfect angle to avoid getting smoke in his eyes.  He grew his own vegetables because it was healthier.

    Looking down the line of backyards through the chain link fence it was a similar vision, with the fathers, their Speedos and their vegetable gardens.  The women seemed to prefer the more genteel activities of the day like doing their nails and popping valium.

    I took after my father.  I loved vegetable gardening from day 1 and couldn't get over  how amazing it was that  you could plant a little spec of something and come back a few months later and find food.  Actually that's modern day me talking. When I was little I could barely wait the 3 weeks it took to make a radish.  Part of the other reason I got so into vegetable gardening was the fact that there was a huge, family owned organic (wayyyy before organic was a thing) vegetable seed distributor near our house.  William Dam Seeds was promoting organic seeds and growing when that sort of thing was just plain weird.  A passing phase for sure.

    I went through their seed catalogue the way most kids would go through a toy catalogue.  I grew butternut squash and Rainbow Swiss Chard and other things my mother looked sideways at. She hated gardening by the way.  Still does.   Why grow peas that didn't even have a can surrounding them?  It didn't make any sense.

    So when our community garden needed someone to organize their plant sale this year guess who volunteered!!    Not me.  I have too much stuff to do.  No, my name was forwarded, nominated and elected without me ever raising my hand.  So, as it turns out, I organized the plant sale.

    Where I sold chicken eggs.

    fresh-eggs

    And yes, plants.

    cell-packs
    table-plants

    There are about 50 members in our community garden and it's the widest range of people you could imagine.  Everyone from University students to octogenarians, black, white, gay, straight, they are all at the community garden.  It's great.

    wheelbarrow

    This fine lady is from Zimbabwe for example and showed me how to till the soil "African Style" with a massive, frightening looking hoe.  Africans apparently don't do shovels.

    Would you like to save this stuff?

    We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.

    tomatoes

    From Earl the octogenarian I learned you cannot trust someone not to steal just because they're an octogenarian.  Sticky fingers that Earl.  Just kidding.  Earl is GREAT and I'm pretty sure he's everyone's favourite gardener.  He even likes me even though he knows I swear when the weather is cold.

    egg-basket

    This vintage egg holder was the perfect thing for holding individual cells of plants.  It would also be perfect for ice cream cones but it's still too cold out.  Shit.  GARGTFF.  Shit.  Sorry Earl.  Just kidding by the way. It was cold the day of the plant sale but it's currently a bazilliokajillmazillion degrees.

    fibre-optic
    plant-sale-pinny 2
    buying

    Yup.  My Rough Linen Pinafore.  The big pockets were great for collecting money.  That I had pickpocketed.

    If you have a small organization this kind of thing is a great way to raise money by the way.  We rocked it.  A bunch of people (myself included) volunteered to grow plants and everyone who didn't grow plants showed up to buy some. We had a HUGE variety of stuff like cabbages, brussels sprouts (yeah they didn't get the note about how gross brussels sprouts are), an insane variety of heirloom and rare cherry tomatoes, my mix of heirloom tomatoes, ground cherries, turnip, herbs, aloe plants, onions, heirloom leeks, 3 different types of kale and a bunch of other stuff.  That's my excellent story telling ability showing it's head there.  "A bunch of other stuff" is often seen in great literary works of fiction.

    turnip
    black-krim

    You know one of the reasons I really wish my father was alive is so he could see just how much I've embraced vegetable gardening.  I'm sure he'd be proud of the gardens I keep and all the work I put into it all.  My mother? Well she's just proud I don't do it in a Speedo, with a beer in one hand and a cig in the other.

    Have a great weekend!

    signaturetransparent

    More GARDEN stuff

    • How to Keep Flowers Fresh in a Vase
    • Does Boiling Water Really Kill Weeds?
    • The English Cottage Garden Year 8 (Spring)
    • Garlic Scapes 101: Harvesting and Cooking Guide

    Reader Interactions

    Comments

      Leave a Reply Cancel reply

      Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

      Recipe Rating




      The maximum upload file size: 512 MB. You can upload: image, audio. Links to YouTube, Facebook, Twitter and other services inserted in the comment text will be automatically embedded. Drop file here

    1. christine

      June 05, 2016 at 8:33 am

      Speaking of gardening,the rhubarb is ready so once again I'm cursing that asshat Mindy and her cake I can't stop eating.

      Reply
      • Karen

        June 05, 2016 at 10:08 am

        I have so much rhubarb I don't even know what to do with it! I'd better just start picking it and freezing it I guess! ~ karen

        Reply
    2. pat

      June 04, 2016 at 10:55 am

      Black Krim; I've never had a problem growing tomatoes until I purchased a Black Krim plant last year. Never again. The plant wilted every time the sun shone while all the others types of tomatoes flourished. I babied that thing through the summer and said never again. If my plants can't handle what I think are normal conditions, they're not going to last long in my garden! Anybody else have this issue?

      Reply
    3. Cindy

      June 04, 2016 at 9:16 am

      I love that you have a community like this. We don't have that in my neck of the woods.

      I'm def gonna look up the Fibre Optic plant. So cool.

      What is Black Krim??

      Love your display signs Karen. You got a DIY how-to on them??

      Reply
      • Karen

        June 04, 2016 at 9:44 am

        Well. They're from Dollarama. :) The display signs, not the Black Krim. The one for the eggs is just a frame that I stick a piece of blackboard in. Black Krim is one of my favourite varieties of tomato. :) ~ karen!

        Reply
    4. Kelli

      June 03, 2016 at 9:23 pm

      What, you tease us with a description of "hot" dad in Speedos, beer and cig, yet you don't post a photo? The .

      It would only be a more perfect "dad photo" if that fashion statement were completed by loafers (or even oxfords) and black socks. OOH. WEE.

      Speaking of Speedos...my bro's were swimmers all through high school and they and their teammates were very fit, but even they looked questionable in 'em at times. Hey, even Rod shouldn't do them any more! http://tinyurl.com/hk8lvmc *grimace* *shudder*

      btw, you look adorbs in your gardening pinafore!

      Reply
    5. Heather (mtl)

      June 03, 2016 at 8:34 pm

      My mother had a veggie garden when we were young, but I also recall my grandmother's garden in the countryside of Halifax, NS. I still miss spending summers there (oh! the wild blueberries! She lived on a hill made of blueberries and we'd make Blueberry Grunt- yumm!) She was the epitome of pioneer as she chopped her own wood, recycled (flattened all her tins) and burned whatever she could. The compost pile was huge, the rain barrels huge and the freezer full (freeze whole cleaned fish in sea water with their tails sticking up for identifying)
      Gardening is soo much more than visiting a plot of land, as I have grown to know.
      Besides, on the days when my arthritis pain makes me cranky, working in the garden can be a wonderful distraction. At least I'm getting out, right?!
      Thought: if you get more than 1 chicken, how about a contest to name her?
      PS: my laptop (chrome) is slowing on your site again. I've cleaned the cache already.

      Reply
      • Karen

        June 03, 2016 at 9:16 pm

        Hey Heather! let me know if there are any video ads running. That is apparently what slows things down. Companies are using flash videos for advertising which are basically obsolete, which means the browsers don't support them anymore. In a year or so Flash will be gone completely. But until then I've asked my advertising supplier to stop running all video ads on my site. I was under the impression that was to start today but if your site is slow then maybe not! ~ karen

        Reply
    6. Rondina

      June 03, 2016 at 8:29 pm

      I think you should interview the lady from Zimbabwe and show how she gardens differently than we do. (Showing the massive hoe.)

      Reply
      • Karen

        June 03, 2016 at 9:14 pm

        That's a good idea Rondina! Even what she grows is different. They don't like sweet corn, they like corn that's ... more like cow corn really! Actually she has promised to teach me to make African polenta if I show her how to make a cob oven. I think she's getting the easier deal, lol. Her mother used to cook in cob in Zimbabwe but she never learned how to. So apparently I'm much more African than she is. ;) ~ karen!

        Reply
    « Older Comments

    Primary Sidebar

    SHOP ON AMAZON

    Use it 👆 to support my work. LEARN MORE

    My name is Karen Bertelsen and I was a television host. In Canada. Which means in terms of notoriety and wealth, I was somewhere on par with the manager of a Sunset Tan in Wisconsin.

    I quit television to start a blog with the goal that I could make my living through blogging and never have to host a television show again. And it’s worked out. I’m making a living blogging. If you’re curious, this is how I do that.

    So I’m doing this in reverse basically. I’m the only blogger who is trying to NOT get a TV show.

    More about me 👋

    Seasonal Articles

    • Today's Puzzle: 72% Chance of Greasefire
    • Today's Puzzle: Literature, SPF 30, & Processed Cheese
    • This Fruit Fly Trap Catches 25X More Than Your Bowl of Vinegar Does
    • Apple Watch Band Stuck? How to Remove It.
    • Cleaning Copper with Ketchup: A No-Rub Experiment
    • Garbage Apples, Jam Trauma, and the Beige Poppy Crisis

    Popular Articles

    • This Is Where I Try To Buy Your Love
    • Guaranteed Crispy Sweet Potato Fries & Sriracha Mayo Dip
    • A Year Full of Pots: Win Sarah Raven's New Book
    • The Difference Between People Who Eat Mayo & People Who Eat Miracle Whip
    • Your FIRST look at my new kitchen in Canadian Living Magazine.
    • How to Print an Image on Wood.

    Footer

    as seen in

    About

    • About
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy

    Newsletter

    • Sign Up! for emails and updates

    Social

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Twitter
    • Pinterest
    8 shares