The difference between saying you don't care what other people think when you're 25 and saying you don't care what other people think when you're 40, is that when you're 40, you actually mean it.
At 25 you say it because you want it to be true. At 40 it is true.
When you get older you get more confident in yourself and forming your own opinions and you just don't care as much if they're the same opinions held by everyone else. Sometimes in fact, you'll find what you think is the total opposite of what everyone else in the world seems to think. And you don't care. Sometimes you'll even voice these opinions of yours out loud.
And so it is with no regret at all that I tell you ... I don't like Hitler. I really don't. I think he was a real asshole.
I also don't like jabbing my eye with an infected needle, drought, monsters, really long lines at the grocery store or being stuck in traffic when I have to pee.
At this point you're nodding your head up and down in validation. YOU feel the same way about these things! That's because I tricked you. You thought I was going to voice an opinion on something that was different than yours. I didn't. But I'm going to now.
I don't like Game of Thrones. I not only don't like it, I think it's stupid and cheesy. And stupid.
NOW we're getting somewhere. Game of Thrones has gained cult-like status the likes of which haven't been seen since somebody dropped a piece of chocolate in peanut butter.
And I don't like it. Game of Thrones I mean, I LOVE chocolate and peanut butter.
I also don't like most desserts, porn, Shakespeare, chain restaurants or sunflowers. And I don't really like hockey unless it's being played by 6-9 year olds.
I'm guessing you disagree with at least one of those things and you disagree STRONGLY. But I don't care. I don't like 'em even if they are wildly popular things. And no, I'm not saying I don't like them just because they're wildly popular. That's a favourite position for some people to take as well. Saying they don't like something ONLY because everyone else likes it. Oh really? You love breathing? I don't like it, totally overrated. I prefer an iron lung.
And then there's brussels sprouts. I hate them. Everyone knows I hate them. I've mentioned many times on this site about how I hate them. By this age I know what vegetables I like and which ones I don't. Yet ... no matter what ... any time I mention my hatred of brussels sprouts someone tries to change my mind. I just haven't cooked them right, haven't used the right recipe, haven't tried THEIR brussels sprouts. I haven't tried eating your hair either, but I can tell you right now I won't like it any more than I like eating my hair.
I can't really blame people, it's what we do. If a person doesn't like something that we like, we automatically try to convince them it's worth liking. There's a certain pride we feel after we've changed someone's mind about something because it's such a difficult thing to do.
Just try it this weekend. Try to change someone's mind about something. Not even anything explosive or controversial like abortion or politics. Just try to convince someone who doesn't like John Travolta that they actually should like John Travolta. That they could like John Travolta. Betcha can't do it. If the person happens to be under the age of 20 you might have a shot (providing they know who John Travolta is) but you won't be able to budge anyone over 40.
I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this post or in fact if I'm going anywhere with it. I guess there isn't really a point to it.
And the beauty of being over 40? I don't care.
Shirley Walker
I have a 13 year old daughter. I might try to get her to change her mind about wearing yoga pants to school this weekend and see what happens. I HATE yoga pants - unless I am in a yoga class. It will be a pointless fight but may as well try......I should leave her alone as she likes brussel sprouts. The grocery store was totally sold out of them last night. Not sure what the scoop with that is. Lots of farting going on in Windsor, NS this weekend I expect!!
Lauren
Having just turned 30, my impression has been that it carries a free license to not give a damn- good to know that that licence gets even broader after 40!
For the record, I love brussels sprouts and always have, however every time I mention I don't like sloppy Joes (and never have) everyone loses their minds.
dede
Karen, it just gets better and better. At 61, I'm at the top of my "I don't care" game. Man, I can cause some blood to boil now. If I say "I don't like Jesus," at least one of you would come and stand next to me. But when I say "I don't like dogs," people are personally violated and will either suck all the air out of the room telling me how wrong I am, or they just start shrieking and throwing shit at me. It's hilarious! I don't like dogs and if you do, you're just wrong and I don't care.
IRS
Dede, I absolutely adore dogs (far more than people in fact), but I respect your right to not share my passion for them. Since you know you don't care for them, it's good that you don't have one. Kind of like me and kids. As long as you are never mean to a dog, you and I are good.
zoraida
You're a very funny lady. Like this post...a lot. Not caring about the opinion of others is part of getting older and more confident. It only grows stronger with age. It creeps up on you. Try it after 60 :)
Christie
Wow... Very strong feelings about so many things. I also HATE brussels sprouts - even though BFF tried to convince me that sautéing them with bacon was yummy. The bacon was good, but the brussel sprouts still tasted like stinky socks... I Love Game of Thrones - and loved the books - but it's also a bonding thing with my older son...
I am now over 50 and I care even less what other people think - it's very freeing!!!
Gail
My daughter says I've become a crotchety woman! Really?
Kim from Montana
I totally agree. The older I've gotten the less I care what others think about what I do and how I do it but I do still care about what people think of me. I surely would hate to be thought of as cruel or angry. On the flip side. Don't ask my opinion of something and then get ticked off because my opinion doesn't jibe with yours or may even be based on some truth you had never even considered.
I HATE garden hoses! Annoying kinky stupid things! I also hate Lima beans and have since childhood. Black licorice. Body piercing. Flies and cold wind top out my list.
What I love is The Art of Doing Stuff. Thanks so much for your hard work. Keep it up!
Jennifer
I LOVE your post! (Even though I like Game of Thrones) I totally get what you're saying -- maybe because I'm over 40 -- and I totally agree that it just doesn't matter what people think about what you like and dislike. Beets and kale chips taste like dirt and I don't care WHAT you put on them, they still taste like glorified dirt.
Keep up the good work because every time I read your blog, I feel like I've talked with a friend. (I apologize it's not ALL the time -- there are times when my eyes glaze over a little when you talk about gardening but that's only because I am death to plants even though I would love it to be different.)
Sarah @ onesuchlife
Seriously, Game of Thrones is such a bore. And there has never been a good brussel sprout recipe, I guarantee it.
But I am a hockey fan. And sunflowers - really?!
angie s
Great post and totally true. I pretty much agree with every single thing you listed. Wanna talking about convincing people of whatever? I'm vegan so I'm pretty much having "convincing conversations" with people every time they learn that about me... yes, I get enough protein, blah, blah, blah....
leslie
just wait till you're 55. You'll be spitting in people's hair and laughing wildly!
Linda
Well I HATE Pizza... and tons of other stuff as well, anyone want to stone me for that?? hahah I don't care.
Deb Brennan
This is hilarious...Agree..it seems the older one gets the more we can embrace the idea of really becoming who we want to be and to hell with what anyone thinks. What I especially enjoy as a 60+ girl now, is surprising people....like the time I almost arm wrestled an entitled teenager , with his Daddys Mercedes, to the ground at a gas station. He decided to be an arrogant little "p" and not back up his car a bit in order for me to gas up...He stood there aghast at the language that came out of this old ladys mouth...He and his Ralph Lauren wearing buddy slinked away and no doubt regaled the story about the crazy woman who let them have it...I was hoping it would show up on youtube...classic...woulda had a million hits :)
Carol Hogan
I'm over 40 - way over 40 - and I love Game of Thrones and I don't care if you don't like it. But I agree with you on the Brussel sprouts. I think the point is: like it, don't like it, whatever. Don't try to convince other people. Just live your life and let them be.
Jody
You are a woman, you made a typ-o,and you have contrary opinions. You must be hormonal or about to have a breakdown. Sheesh. Somebody needs to lighten up.
Ruth
I actually like when folk don't like some of the foods that I like... "Really? You don't like coconut-ty stuff? You're right... totally overrated... More fore me."
*Heads off to snack on a Bounty*
How do I love thee, coconut, let me count the ways...
Karen
LOVE coconutty stuff. ~ karen!
Lynn
Have to say Karen you are right on except for the sun flowers. :) . Being over 50 an still having people try to push their food loves on to me , just really sucks!!!
Karin
i agree it's very liberating to go ahead and not give a hoot about what anybody else is doing/thinking. but what's even more liberating to me is to be able to accept that other peeps don't give a hoot bout what everyone else is doing/thinking. no one has to proof anyhing, no one has to waste energy convincing one another of their POV. live and life, that's what i go by. that's what maturity and serenity is to me.
you don't like brussels n GoT? cool, more for me . you can have all the licorice instead :0B
maggie van sickle
I don't know what the Game of Thrones is nor do I care (I am 70). I will not try and change your mind on Brussel sprouts but someone did change my mind and now I love them but only certain ways. Shaved in salads or lightly pan fried with garlic and lemon. John Travolta I don't know him but he is not my favourite actor. The rest of the stuff in my opinion "I don't care" . Just sayin Karen Bahaha. Have a great weekend . I am heading to the Bala Cranberry Festival with my Sistas. Do you care?
Karin
live and let live, s what i meant to say
Deb Brennan
ooohhh I care..I'd love to be doing that this weekend! Have fun!
Nancy
I'm American, and I hate apple pie! Any pie for that matter as well as peas and any type of bean (except jelly beans!). I don't like Scandal or The Walking Dead, so please don't try to convince me how good they are. Maybe I'll make a list of all the things I hate; it feels good to verbalize it!
Lea
Cilantro makes me angry, and I go bonkers when people scratch their plates with their knives and forks.