The difference between saying you don't care what other people think when you're 25 and saying you don't care what other people think when you're 40, is that when you're 40, you actually mean it.
At 25 you say it because you want it to be true. At 40 it is true.
When you get older you get more confident in yourself and forming your own opinions and you just don't care as much if they're the same opinions held by everyone else. Sometimes in fact, you'll find what you think is the total opposite of what everyone else in the world seems to think. And you don't care. Sometimes you'll even voice these opinions of yours out loud.
And so it is with no regret at all that I tell you ... I don't like Hitler. I really don't. I think he was a real asshole.
I also don't like jabbing my eye with an infected needle, drought, monsters, really long lines at the grocery store or being stuck in traffic when I have to pee.
At this point you're nodding your head up and down in validation. YOU feel the same way about these things! That's because I tricked you. You thought I was going to voice an opinion on something that was different than yours. I didn't. But I'm going to now.
I don't like Game of Thrones. I not only don't like it, I think it's stupid and cheesy. And stupid.
NOW we're getting somewhere. Game of Thrones has gained cult-like status the likes of which haven't been seen since somebody dropped a piece of chocolate in peanut butter.
And I don't like it. Game of Thrones I mean, I LOVE chocolate and peanut butter.
I also don't like most desserts, porn, Shakespeare, chain restaurants or sunflowers. And I don't really like hockey unless it's being played by 6-9 year olds.
I'm guessing you disagree with at least one of those things and you disagree STRONGLY. But I don't care. I don't like 'em even if they are wildly popular things. And no, I'm not saying I don't like them just because they're wildly popular. That's a favourite position for some people to take as well. Saying they don't like something ONLY because everyone else likes it. Oh really? You love breathing? I don't like it, totally overrated. I prefer an iron lung.
And then there's brussels sprouts. I hate them. Everyone knows I hate them. I've mentioned many times on this site about how I hate them. By this age I know what vegetables I like and which ones I don't. Yet ... no matter what ... any time I mention my hatred of brussels sprouts someone tries to change my mind. I just haven't cooked them right, haven't used the right recipe, haven't tried THEIR brussels sprouts. I haven't tried eating your hair either, but I can tell you right now I won't like it any more than I like eating my hair.
I can't really blame people, it's what we do. If a person doesn't like something that we like, we automatically try to convince them it's worth liking. There's a certain pride we feel after we've changed someone's mind about something because it's such a difficult thing to do.
Just try it this weekend. Try to change someone's mind about something. Not even anything explosive or controversial like abortion or politics. Just try to convince someone who doesn't like John Travolta that they actually should like John Travolta. That they could like John Travolta. Betcha can't do it. If the person happens to be under the age of 20 you might have a shot (providing they know who John Travolta is) but you won't be able to budge anyone over 40.
I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with this post or in fact if I'm going anywhere with it. I guess there isn't really a point to it.
And the beauty of being over 40? I don't care.
Mel
Amen sister! I don't like hockey either and it is a very unpopular opinion to have as a Canadian! Being 33 with two small kids I don't care either.
Merrilee
I quite enjoy disliking John Travolta, and his weird "talk through the teeth" thing. I also don't care for Phil Collins, or Bruce Springsteen, or those stupid shoes called crocs. I'm also not going to try to convince anyone to like what I like, because I care equally less about what they like! But just in case anyone else cares....I like Tom Petty, Susan Tedeschi, Vincent Perez (you've gotta see Indochine), and Jenny Doan (a quilter who has quite the series of youtube tutorials). And avocados.
Debbe Van Ness
Question regarding formatting of the replies. In the upper left hand corner, there's a number. I always thought it was for the number of the reply, but the numbers are all over the place, sometimes duplicated. Is it just a glitch? I could say I don't care if anyone thinks I'm an idiot that is missing the obvious, but gotta say I do care. :::sigh:::
IRS
Individual comments are numbered 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 etc, but if you reply to a comment, as I just did to yours, it is numbered 1, if you are the first. If another person replies to the same comment, they are number 2. If someone replies to a reply to a comment, the numbers start all over again. It is sort of like a folder within a folder within........well, you get the idea. At least that's the way it's supposed to work. The gray and white backgrounds to the printed comments also help to organize where everything belongs. But yes, it gets confusing sometimes, especially when someone comments in the wrong spot, as I have sometimes done. And of course you're not an idiot. Asking a question to learn something should never be something you should feel bad about. If someone tries to put you down for it, just employ my favourite phrase. All together now: "F*** off!"
Ann Brookens
I would have answered your question but IRS took care of that. Now, you see the 2 in the upper left corner? 'Cause I am the second reply to your post!
Mondo | I bake he shoots
Fruity pies are pretty gross... and mayo on French fries? Eww! Who started that? Mayo is just a white glob of nasty! Someone made me a cheesecake once and I forced myself to eat it. Yuck! Sunflowers, though? I love sunflowers.
yvonne
Got my hubby (who is early 50's...shush...don't tell him I told you) to admit that Tom Cruise is a pretty decent actor. Do you know how long that took? Every TC movie on Netflix, every TC movie on tv, even Redbox. How long did it take? About a year. Was it worth it? Possibly. Now working on his ambivalence to John Travolta (come on...how could you not like him in Pulp Fiction, From Paris with Love and Wild Hogs?). I think I should have been in politics, behind the scenes, lol.
IRS
I have never considered John Travolta to be much of an actor, but I admit that him being a Scientologist is a large part of his creepiness factor. But Scientology aside, as he has aged, he really has become a creepy old man. Did you see the way he caressed the face of that young singer at the Oscars? It was straight out of "Silence of the Lambs". *shudders* And yes, I know that Tom Cruise also drinks the Scientology Koolaid, which also dampens my enthusiasm for him. At least he is better looking, and a much better actor IMHO than JT, and I must admit I love the Mission Impossible movies. And we finally get a new James Bond movie in a few weeks. Yay! But no more Daniel Craig after this one, because he has turned into a petulant little shit, who doesn't want to do them any more.
Stacey
So Karen, are you still even reading the replies? 'Cus baseball is on. To be honest I didn't read too far in, but I am annoyed with the GOT show only because I have read the books and they are taking waaaaay too many liberties for my liking. The books are much better. I like sunflowers and Brussel sprouts, but absolutely WILL NOT eat turnip , or rutabaga or whatever way you would like to disguise this vegetable. My name is Stacey, and I am over 40.
tiffany
we call them "poison balls" in my family.
Madeleine Whitfield
Now, I've got a confession to make. I don't like Elvis Presley. I'm way over 40 and was there when Elvis hit the scene. I didn't like him then and never learned to.
There. I've said it.
IRS
Conversations about personal likes and dislikes can be highly entertaining, as long as no one gets pushy about insisting that they are right. No sane or intelligent person could actually be upset that another person refuses to eat a food that they themselves adore. Conversations about less trivial things are a different matter. While it is sadly true that most people babble on about things that are stupid and unimportant, it is a good idea to keep one ear open for the occasional idea that floats by that is actually of interest. I have had conversations with people who held opposite opinions to mine, that really made me think. On a few occasions, the conversation actually led to me gathering more information, and ultimately changing or modifying my opinion. You don't have to eat something you don't like, or do something in a way you don't like, just because someone else is trying to strong arm you, but it is good to be open to new ideas. Use critical thought to evaluate them, and if you conclude that they are not for you, cheerfully move on. Life is a buffet; pick and choose what YOU like.
Rachel
I turned 43 yesterday. I live in the tropics and celebrate Halloween in an overtly Religious country with negative feelings about it. I constantly wonder about Fall, orange and red trees and what people mean when they say the air is getting cooler and crisper. My own countrymen constantly berate me for not loving endless sunshine and sitting around drinking rum all year long. My son is Autistic and because I am a teacher of Shakespeare, he's been reciting quotes from A Midsummer Night's Dream since he was 5, ( and Robert Frost poetry). I love GOT because it IS cheesy and it reminds me of the guilty pleasure shows of the eighties I grew up watching with my mom who died from cancer, except now, those shows are just pleasures. She would have agreed with me that Sansa was a recycled Lucy from Dallas and Jon Snow's death was "who shot J.R." all over again! Then we would watch Mad Men's finale and sob like babies. I love life's contrasts. My kid taught me that no matter how much the people in my world refuse to give something else a try, or try to see something in a different light, that there IS an "art to doing stuff" and I should always be open to changing my mind no matter how old I get, because I may find a diamond in what I thought was garbage. Your beautiful Thankgiving centrepiece looks like something from a scene in an Oscar award winning Shakespeare production, by the way, and it made me insanely happy! Thank you so much Karen. Can't wait to piss off my neighbours with your DIY spider web I plan to hang in my front window along with a barrage of offensive Halloween decor! I love all your articles.
Ann Brookens
Rachel, have a lovely Halloween! Sorry I can't send you some of our "crisp" air; there was frost on my car this morning!
jainegayer
Very refreshing comments. I'm 66 and never worry about what other people think of me, never have. But I did worry that maybe something was wrong with me because I didn't care. So happy to know that other people are content just being themselves. I loathe brussels sprouts. I gag if I even smell them cooking. Vile vegetable.
Thank you for the laughs, Karen.
Chris van Soolen
I can't stand brussel sprouts or leeks. I think Hitler was an asshat. I'm meh about Game of Thrones, and really didn't like the newer Battlestar Gallactica. AT ALL. Hated it, in fact.
And yeah, you're right. I'm over 40 and it honestly doesn't bug me if people disagree with me. I feel how I feel. If I don't want to wear pink, I won't wear it. If I think my teenagers look stupid the newest fad of clothing, I'll tell them. They won't agree with me, but then they're teenagers and have to deal with the kids at school where everyone wants to be liked by everyone.
So yup. You are spot on. :)
Vicky
Plus I'm 59 so I haven't given a shit about other people's opinions for a long, long time.
Vicky
My husband hates apple pie. Everyone tells him that their's is different. Now, hand him a whole apple that is ripe and he'll chomp the hell out of it.
I get what you are saying here.
Lifesart
Just wait til you're 65! Then you really won't care what other people think! And you still won't like Brussel Sprouts! (husband tried to make cole slaw outta them, 'they're just baby cabbages!' No they ARE NOT! Still YUCKY!!!)
Kelli
Oooh, and just wait till you're in your 50s, you won't give a rat's arse about anything! LOL. Or maybe that's just me. I don't care.
Ev Wilcox
Nothing wrong with opinions, if expressed as such. Trying to convince is a whole 'nother animal, which I try to not do! My only beef with G o T's is that I do not get it here-Damn! And I really like Brussels sprouts, but so what? Whether anyone else does or not means nothing to me! I would say that I HAVE NEVER found worms in sprouts, but I won't, 'cause the Garden Gods will fix that right up. And, my grown children seem to not want to hear any opinion from me on pretty much any subject. I am expected, and do, listen to theirs. Some times life just sucks, ya know?
Marcy
Karen, I like you and no one better ever try to get me to change my mind or even slightly disagree with me. I, too, don't like hockey, Shakespeare, Game of Thrones, chain restaurants, most desserts, porn, sunflowers and Hitler. I do like brussels sprouts, in fact, I love them. John Travolta--no one could ever convince me to like him. But, even you could ever convince me not to like Karen's The Art of Doing Stuff, it is my lifeline to a laugh a day.
LeAnne Osburne
I did discuss John Travolta with a twenty-something and told her she should watch "Urban Cowboy".S he wasn't moved. PS--I love "Game of Thrones". Did Jon Snow really die?
Ann Brookens
So I've been told; I don't watch GofT but I like Peter Dinklage and understood that he was one of the best characters on the show. Until they killed him off.
LeAnne Osburne
Actually, Peter Dinklage's character is still going strong. It's everyone else who has been killed off. We'll see next season who's left.
Ann Brookens
I'm glad to hear that; he is such a great character!
Karen Too
Just wait till you're 80. Then you really just don't give a shite! I feel the same about GofT for the record so you're not the only one.
K
PS. I am not 80 yet but looking forward to not giving a shite!