I did something remarkable this week. I accidentally came up with a New Year's Eve resolution. This is a remarkable event for me because I've always viewed New Year's Eve resolutions as a bit of a sucker's game.
Where the trusting and feeble minded are tricked into confessing their greatest faults to family, friends & grocery store cashiers.
Cashier: Any New Year's Resolutions?
You: You bet! I'm fat.
Stranger: Oh! I couldn't help overhear. I'm fat too. Plus I drink way too much.🤪
Cashier: I just need to get outside and walk more. (translation: I had to sell my car to pay off debts owed to an underground gambling ring that specializes in reality competition shows. I was sure the Masked singer was the Idaho potato man..)
For that first week of every year, that first week of January, we become weirdly, freakishly, absurdly honest.
I contend that this is why any couples who meet and get along from January 1st to January 7th have a 100% chance of being together for the rest of their lives.
If you meet while one of you is vomiting up the night's fun and the other is smoking 3 cigarettes at a time to try and get through the pack before midnight - you each have a pretty good idea of what what you're getting yourself into.
If summer romances are flings, New Year's Eve romances are forevers.
Neither of which have anything to do with my own resolution, which I am about to share with you because I am indeed feeble minded.
My resolution is to adhere to a fairly strict routine. (translation: I'm in jail)
Just kidding, it's just an ankle monitor.
I'm going to adhere to a fairly strict daily routine so I can be more productive with my work and my relaxing.
Just so you know how very serious I am about this, I have 35 posts going back to 2013 declaring that I am going to relax more.
I'm going to do less and achieve more. Which as I type it out loud, I realize sounds very much like a sales pitch to myself.
I'm shortening my work hours from 12 hours a day to less than that.
I want to get more work done in less time by being more focused.
Is this scene familiar? You Google something for a bit of quick information. How long you can leave raw chicken on the counter for example. It should take about 2 minutes online to get this information.
3 hours later you know how to trim a house cat to look exactly like a lion using Asian fusion cutting techniques you learned on Youtube.
And you decide on cookies for dinner because the chicken is now questionable and you don't have time to cook anyway because you're Googling cat rescue organizations.
I'd also like to have a quitting time. There are a LOT of positives to running your own business and I wouldn't do anything else but the one thing you don't get is a quitting time. Or dental coverage. Or office gossip or free toilet paper and pens.
I've decided 6 o'clock p.m. is my quitting time for the work that makes me money.
From 6-7 I'll keep working but on stuff that needs doing in my life or house.
Betty needs her Ring doorbell setup? I'll do it between 6 and 7. Groceries? Between 6 and 7.
And THEN from 7 o'clock on I can do whatever I want but if I watch television or a movie then my laptop, phone, ipad, notepad, and power tools all have to be safely stored away. Seed catalogues and flipping through Niki Jabour's Growing Under Cover are allowed.
I'm hoping 3 months of this will help me with that whole work/life balance so many people talk about.
I wanna be like this guy.
This is day 3 of my resolution.
I'm currently writing this post at 8 p.m. at night.
Also I'd like to start eating bologna sandwiches on white bread for lunch every day. And I should probably take more of an interest do laundry. And wash my hair. I need to moisturize more.
I need to use less words when I talk to people, listen more, NOT brush my legs with a boar bristle brush when they're itchy, and wear more argyle.
p.s. It just seems stupid to do all this and not get bangs. So let's add those and eating breakfast. Anyone wanna go on a date?