Welcome to my burn out. I had BIG intentions for today's post but every time I started to write - nothing happened.
The curtain is down on my brain for the year and as much as I'd love to give you the performance of a lifetime today, I can't. Cannot.
At the end of every year I am creatively BURNT OUT. I then pledge to actually relax for my time off between Christmas and New Year's Eve so I can recharge. I need and plan to slow the hell down for one entire week, even if I have to chain myself to a sloth to do it.
I'd TOTALLY chain myself to a sloth. I *love* sloths. I wonder where I could get a sloth. I think the most exotic thing my nearest pet store sells are the one eyed mice they sell to snake owners.
Before I leave you to your own few days of relaxation in the form of family fights, present returning and turkey burning, I will give you some insight into what I plan to do with my relaxation time until I see you again late next week.
My Relaxation List
- Sit
- Knit
CookI love cooking but I hate having to clean up after cooking so maybe I won't cook.- Forage for whatever food in the cupboard can be eaten out of the can.
- Wonder why the only canned food I have is Sweetened Condensed Milk.
- Contemplate whether consuming can of Sweetened Condensed Milk constitutes eating or drinking. Decide it's both based on it's more mainstream drink/food cousin, Boost.
Realize I have single handedly created a new rage drink by serving sweetened condensed milk in a cup. Make a note to find a modern version of a hipster boyfriend whom I canFacebook,InstagramSnapchat,Tik Tok, look at while holding my drink invention which I will serve in a bowl (now that I think of it) to make it even more hipster. - Feel ill from "dinner", strip naked and lie down on bathroom floor.
- Notice dirt.
- Ignore dirt.
- Notice dirt again. Curse dirt.
- Wash bathroom floor which leads to kitchen floor which leads to mudroom floor which leads to outdoors.
- Wave at neighbours looking curiously at my outfit which I now realize consists entirely of rubber gloves.
- Wave more enthusiastically as a way to distract them from my nakedness.
- Retreat indoors.
- Still unwell. Lay on the couch. Do not MOVE from the couch.
- Contemplate installing a refrigerator in the couch. No that's stupid, I should just move the couch into the kitchen.
- Bored on couch, move to computer.
- Look up ways to relax
- Find my own post on chaining yourself to sloth
- Fall asleep on couch, wake up and repeat.
Would you like to save this stuff?
We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.
Have a great Christmas and Hanukah, each and every one of you. If you're celebrating something else, let me know and I'll wish you a happy one of those.
Even though we all know this is technically the season of hope and love, you and I are smart enough to know it's also the season of outbursts and arguing. There are only so many Christmases we all have in us so don't waste this one getting worked into a fit for whatever stupid reason.
Sit.
Relax.
Chain yourself to a sloth.
Julie
Great news. Sloths are super easy to potty train. They always go in the same spot. Put a litter box in that spot, boom, potty trained.
Bad news? Worst litter box smell ever. Huge amount of urine and litter box spillage. And sloths can actually move pretty fast when they need to. Based on experience as a zoo keeper and vet tech.
Genevieve Dee Gonsor
Thanks for your blogs.Is that what it is? I enjoy your writings. Enjoy your down time. Thank you for what you do.
Tres
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Karen! I hope you can relax and recharge, all while enjoying your family.
Millie
I’m having trouble picturing anyone naked in Canada in the winter. But your post did make me LOL twice.
Troy
Karen. Thank you your amazing posts and content. Regretfully unsubscribing, way too many pop ups now. I wish you and all your more loyal subscribers the best.
Karen
No problem Troy! I'm sorry that always free all the time wasn't quite enough for you. ~ karen!
Shannan
Karen, this post made me laugh, which is bad for me right now, because laughing physically hurts. Here's why: woke up on Wednesday and thought a muscle in my back feels funny(funny=feels like I got kicked by a mule), ignored back pain and made a bunch of cookie doughs and did general house cleaning all day. Fed the kids all day(my son's are 9 and almost 2, so they eat like there's a conveyer belt pumping out snacks in the kitchen, but it's just me). Went to dinner with my kids and husband for mother in laws bday, chased my toddler all over the pizza parlor, swung him in my arms while arching my sore back like some kind of Mommy amusement park ride more times than I can count. Woke up next day and could barely breathe from the hot knife searing pain in my back. 3 days later, I am the sloth. Still have limited movement but the laugh I got from reading your list was worth the pain. Merry Christmas, cannot wait for a new year of laughs and no more back pain.
Jody
Thank you for laughter and inpsiration in 2023. Enjoy your sloth time and see you in '24....year, not miniutes or hours.
Petra
Glad you made it to the couch and thank you for encouraging me to be my honestly slothy self. It is time ....
christine Hilton
You forgot "think about getting a new couch" while you lie on the couch.
I ignored Christmas this year.l highly recommend it.
Leslie
Merry Christmas Karen. I thoroughly enjoy your posts and trying out all the stuff that you do.
Hettie
LOL! If any deserves to chain themselves to a sloth it's you, Karen. Looking forward to seeing what you'll be up to in 2024.
victoria a martin
You are hysterical
Thanks for your cleverness and the laughs.
Linda McDermott
Merry Christmas! I agree- you are the BEST! Thank you for everything you do
Rochelle M Fernley
Merry Christmas, Karen!
Your work is a bright spot of joy and, sometimes, snort-laughing for me. Please keep up your good humor!
Rochelle
Theresa Chickering
Karen - You're the BEST!
You entertain and inform us all year 'round.
Love and best wishes for the New Year!
Mark
Thanks for another laugh, Karen. Happy Festivus to you and may your wrestling prowess serve you well in the Airing of Grievances. Cheers,
Gerry Taylor
Merry Christmas Karen, keep up the good work.
Gerry
Linda in Illinois
Merry Christmas Karen and Lip. And to your family. Enjoy your time off chained to that sloth 🦥. See you next year.
terri kershner
Great advice!! Hilarious!!! Thanks for the laughs!!
Deb from Maryland
Do what makes you happy for your yearly recharge - sometimes that isn't sitting around; but whatever it is that allows a peace to seep in deep! This I say for two reasons: you are a friend I've never met, but adore and want nothing but the best for you and the other; I'm selfishly looking forward to major content from you next year. Rest up! ;)
Enjoy the winter solstice, everyone!
Theresa Chickering
I agree, Deb - I feel like Karen is a best friend!
Karen
Thanks Deb. I appreciate your help and support over the years. :) ~ karen!