I've been thinking a lot lately. About the earth & life and all that goes with it. But mainly I've been thinking about whether I'd rather go out in public with hideous hair & a nice outfit or a hideous outfit and nice hair.
As magnificent as life is in spring with its uniform blades of grass pushing up through the soil, and the scent of roasted coffee beans filling the morning air, it still can't hold my attention as long as my hair can.
In the summer a tiny little tomato seed will split open, releasing a tentative, thin thread of green that eventually becomes many leaves and stems heavy with full, ripe tomatoes. It's amazing. The entire world is amazing.
But hair.
So if I HAD to choose would I rather inhabit this world with nice hair or nice clothing?
It's not that I have to make the choice, I just wonder if I was forced to do one or the other which would it be?
For example, if I absolutely had to pick, would I rather go on a date wearing a beautifully cut Ralph Lauren silk dress with a head of hair that looks like it's housing an extended family of beavers?
Or would I rather wear an outfit, that looks very much like a clown suit, but not enough like a clown suit to mistake me for an actual clown - with perfect, Hallmark-movie-ready hair?
I've been thinking about this for 48 solid hours and the closest I've come to a decision is Googling what a beaver dam looks like.
It looks like this.
But also sometimes like this.
These are the two most memorable moments I've had attempting to have curly hair. The first, was a YouTube tutorial gone very wrong and the second a late 80's spiral perm because if you didn't look like Dee Snyder you were no one.
There's an argument to be made for the fact that if your hair looks good, you can wear any old thing and you'll still look fabulous but just how good does one's hair have to look to cancel out a massive polka dotted onesie with a ruffled collar?
And what could I possibly wear that would cancel out this?
In real life of course this wouldn't be an issue. A single beaver can weigh up to 70 lbs. My head could never support more than 2 or 3 of them.
I don't actually own a clown suit but I do have a few things in my closet that look kind of funny on me.
Every year or so I forget about how awful they are, try them on and then rip them off again. Yet for some reason instead of doing the logical thing - throwing them out or donating them - I carefully slip them back on the hanger and shove them back into the gangland where in one year's time I'll delight at finding the awful sweater, pants or shirt again.
It's like when you need something in the fridge and notice a container of liquified cucumber slices. Which instead of throwing out, you push aside to get to what you want. Over and over and over again for weeks you do this.
Who hasn't let something get so bad in their refrigerator that they had to throw out the entire container because opening it to dump out the contents would be considered biological warfare? No one.
I say all of this because we're coming into the season where there will indeed be garden cucumbers in my refrigerator, my hair will almost certainly look like it was styled by a sloth wearing mittens, and the clothing I wear will look like I just escaped from prison by crawling through a airplane toilet.
It's gardening season. The season where clown suits and beaver heads collide.
All winter I go along looking half decent with my hair done and clean clothing. I'd go so far as to say I look respectable. During gardening season? I look like someone you'd wear a hazardous waste suit around.
But I don't care.
I'm willing to walk around with beaver-nest head and dirt coloured clothing for months on end. It's a small price to pay for being able to sit outside for hours under the blue sky with a coffee in my hand - tending to those tomatoes.
I still haven't come to a decision but I think I'm leaning towards good hair/bad clothing except for the next 6 months which will be bad hair, bad clothing, bad hands, bad back.
Have a good weekend. Get dirty. Throw those liquid cucumbers out.
If your hair can support 2-3 beavers, mine could support a whole herd. Gaggle? Bevy? I’ll Google it later. My hair is to my knees. The bun is my go to. But sometimes after tackling a particularly vicious shrub I find little chunks of things caught up in it. I’d have to say since the hair hasn’t changed in 20 years maybe my wardrobe should. . . Excuse to go shopping?
As a hairstylist - it would be good hair for me. I rarely care about what I wear, and the past 3 years have me not caring what my hair looks like, but 3 years without a cut if color is taking its toll! It’s finally time to change this look! You have *the* best hair, Karen, and you’ve been very consistent in always keeping it awesome looking! That’s how I would guess you would choose. ❤️✌️😍
Curly hair, the bane of my existence. You can't imagine the things we used to do to straighten our hair when all the models were showing straight hair down to their waists. We would have our friends iron, wrap them in giant cans, or use ace bandages to make a unicorn horn around our head. Never mind the chemicals.
A unicorn horn that makes curly hair straight. Interesting. ~ karen!
I think you look perfect !
My theory is, if you throw the liquified cucumbers right back into the compost, you get bonus cucumber plants. My compost pile usually has a few escapees waving their flags of freedom. My coif is also alternating days between "Beethoven's bed-head" and "combed with an eggbeater." I thought it was just me. Thanks for relieving some of the guilt!
Oh yeah, it's us. And by us I mean everyone ever born. ~ karen!
Carry on, sister.
I'm sometimes tempted to ask my wonderful husband what he sees when he looks at me because some days are just what you said - bad hair and bad clothes together - ew! But then I remember that beauty comes from within (not that I consider myself any kind of a beauty) and what people think of the outside really doesn't matter one iota. You are to be considered one of the beautiful ones because of your overall work ethic, your sensible attitude, and great humor to pull everything together! Keep on keeping on...and yeah, toss the liquid cucumbers.
ALL MY CLOTHES LOOK LIKE GARDEN IN SUMMER GARAGE/SHOP WEAR IN WINTER, BUT MY HAIR LOOKS GOOD TO MY DOG. :)
But you have a Lee Valley hoodie. That is the classiest of classy clothing. You look wonderful. Garden on.
That's true. Their stores don't even have conveyor belts before the cash register. ~ karen!
The dirt definitely shows a more substantive woman! Maybe this is why I follow you!
Are you sure it isn't my hair? ~ karen
HAHAHA--you continue to crack me up!!
I think you've come up with a perfect solution.... good hair/bad clothes for 6 months, bad hair/nice clothes the other 6 months. Why pick one when you can have both?
I always opt for the bad hair slicked into a pony tail - but being born into a clan of straight haired blondes it is my best choice. I just hope that my “slick” hair detracts from my questionable fashion choices. Thankfully my chickens don’t give a —-, well you know! Thank you for making my day!
Don't be so sure. I've found chickens to be surprisingly judgey. ~ karen!
That first pic scared me, then I got used to the fright by the time i scrolled on to the next ones. Is it just me or why am I thinking you look like Ellen DeGeneres in drag in that photo?
I've had the Ellen DeGeneres comment before, but the in drag portion of it so far has been just you. Although now that you've put it out there ... I believe you'll get a lot of agreement. ~ karen!
"what could I possibly wear that would cancel out this?".... Why... nothing, nothing at all.
HAHAHAHAHA!! ~ karen