I've been thinking a lot lately. About the earth & life and all that goes with it. But mainly I've been thinking about whether I'd rather go out in public with hideous hair & a nice outfit or a hideous outfit and nice hair.
As magnificent as life is in spring with its uniform blades of grass pushing up through the soil, and the scent of roasted coffee beans filling the morning air, it still can't hold my attention as long as my hair can.
In the summer a tiny little tomato seed will split open, releasing a tentative, thin thread of green that eventually becomes many leaves and stems heavy with full, ripe tomatoes. It's amazing. The entire world is amazing.
So if I HAD to choose would I rather inhabit this world with nice hair or nice clothing?
It's not that I have to make the choice, I just wonder if I was forced to do one or the other which would it be?
For example, if I absolutely had to pick, would I rather go on a date wearing a beautifully cut Ralph Lauren silk dress with a head of hair that looks like it's housing an extended family of beavers?
Or would I rather wear an outfit, that looks very much like a clown suit, but not enough like a clown suit to mistake me for an actual clown - with perfect, Hallmark-movie-ready hair?
I've been thinking about this for 48 solid hours and the closest I've come to a decision is Googling what a beaver dam looks like.
It looks like this.
But also sometimes like this.
These are the two most memorable moments I've had attempting to have curly hair. The first, was a YouTube tutorial gone very wrong and the second a late 80's spiral perm because if you didn't look like Dee Snyder you were no one.
There's an argument to be made for the fact that if your hair looks good, you can wear any old thing and you'll still look fabulous but just how good does one's hair have to look to cancel out a massive polka dotted onesie with a ruffled collar?
And what could I possibly wear that would cancel out this?
In real life of course this wouldn't be an issue. A single beaver can weigh up to 70 lbs. My head could never support more than 2 or 3 of them.
I don't actually own a clown suit but I do have a few things in my closet that look kind of funny on me.
Every year or so I forget about how awful they are, try them on and then rip them off again. Yet for some reason instead of doing the logical thing - throwing them out or donating them - I carefully slip them back on the hanger and shove them back into the gangland where in one year's time I'll delight at finding the awful sweater, pants or shirt again.
It's like when you need something in the fridge and notice a container of liquified cucumber slices. Which instead of throwing out, you push aside to get to what you want. Over and over and over again for weeks you do this.
I say all of this because we're coming into the season where there will indeed be garden cucumbers in my refrigerator, my hair will almost certainly look like it was styled by a sloth wearing mittens, and the clothing I wear will look like I just escaped from prison by crawling through a airplane toilet.
It's gardening season. The season where clown suits and beaver heads collide.
All winter I go along looking half decent with my hair done and clean clothing. I'd go so far as to say I look respectable. During gardening season? I look like someone you'd wear a hazardous waste suit around.
But I don't care.
I'm willing to walk around with beaver-nest head and dirt coloured clothing for months on end. It's a small price to pay for being able to sit outside for hours under the blue sky with a coffee in my hand - tending to those tomatoes.
I still haven't come to a decision but I think I'm leaning towards good hair/bad clothing except for the next 6 months which will be bad hair, bad clothing, bad hands, bad back.
Have a good weekend. Get dirty. Throw those liquid cucumbers out.