Who Among Us Hasn’t Let a Cucumber Liquify in their Fridge?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately.  About the earth and life and all that goes with it.  It’s quite magnificent if you really pay attention to all that makes this world around us; from the sky to the countless uniform blades of grass pushing up through the land.  Just think of the journey your coffee beans take to make it to your delicious smelling cup every morning. Hand picked coffee cherries, plucked from trees by the hands of a local on the other side of the world, dried in the sun and packed into burlap bags before they’re shipped to a roaster.  And in the summer a tiny little tomato seed will split open, releasing a tentative, thin thread of green that eventually becomes many leaves and stems heavy with full, ripe tomatoes.  It’s amazing.  The entire world is amazing.

So I’ve been thinking about that but mainly I’ve been thinking about whether I’d rather go out in public with hideous hair and a nice outfit or a hideous outfit and nice hair.

It’s not that I have to make the choice, I just wonder if I was forced to do one or the other which would it be?

Like, if I absolutely had to pick, would I rather go on a date wearing a beautifully cut Ralph Lauren silk dress and Chanel shoes with a head of hair that looks like it’s housing an extended family of beavers?  Or would I rather wear an outfit, that looks very much like a clown suit, but not enough like a clown suit to mistake me for an actual clown  – with perfect, Vidal Sassoon hair?

I’ve been thinking about this for 48 solid hours and the closest I’ve come to a decision is Googling what a beaver dam looks like.

There’s an argument to be made for the fact that if your hair looks good, you can wear any old thing and you’ll still look fabulous but just how good does one’s hair have to look to cancel out a massive polka dotted onesie with a ruffled collar?

In real life of course this wouldn’t be an issue. A single beaver can weigh up to 70 lbs.  My head could never support more than 2 or 3 of them.  Plus I don’t really own a clown suit but I do have a few things in my closet that look kind of funny on me.  Every year or so I forget about how awful they are, try them on and then rip them off again.  Yet for some reason instead of doing the logical thing – throwing them out or donating them – I carefully slip them back on the hanger and shove them into the closet where in one year’s time I’ll delight at finding something that I probably only imagined looked like it was sewn by a sloth wearing mittens.

It’s very much like when I need something in the fridge and instead of throwing out the container of liquified cucumber slices I just shove it to the side to get to what I want. For weeks.  Who hasn’t let something get so bad in their refrigerator that they had to throw out the entire container because opening it to dump out the contents would be considered biological warfare?  No one.

I say all of this because we’re coming into the season where there will indeed be garden cucumbers in my refrigerator, my hair will almost certainly look like it’s home to any number of animals, and the clothing I wear will look like I just escaped from prison by crawling through a airplane toilet.

It’s gardening season.

All winter I go along looking half decent with my hair done, clean clothing, polished shoes or boots.  I’d go so far as to say I look respectable.  During gardening season?  I look like something you’d wear a hazardous waste suit around. But I don’t care.

I’m willing to walk around with  nest head and dirt coloured clothing for months on end. It’s a small price to pay for being able to sit outside for hours on end under the blue sky with a coffee in my hand – tending to those tomatoes.

Have a good weekend.  Get dirty.

 

 

 

 

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100 Comments

  1. Diane says:

    You are the best. That’s it, that’s all. The…BEST!

  2. susanne says:

    you look mahvelous dahling!!! too bad i didn’t take a selfie when i ran to the tile store today for 3 single tiles so we could finish the tub surround…serious competition, baby!!! 🙂

  3. TucsonPatty says:

    I don’t care if I have horrible clothing, but I’m a hairdresser, so I need kind of decent hair, but I have to have my eye makeup. Cuz that’s how I roll.

  4. Amy says:

    Karen,
    This brought huge tears to my eyes. Living in dirty garden clothes and messy, sweaty hair is my dream. I admire your hard work!

  5. Robert says:

    You could have honestly walked out of a Demna Gvasalia show in that last photo and none would be the wiser.
    Or wear that almost clown outfit and you’ll be straight out of a Gucci ad.

    I wonder how many containers with living food still inside get thrown out every year?

  6. Amy says:

    You can plan your life around this: You need a good haircut, good shoes, and good teeth. Everything else can come from Wal-Mart if you go classic. Write it down 😗

  7. Jane S says:

    Your hair still looks fabulous!

  8. Teri on the Wet Coast. says:

    So, about the container carefully placed in the suspended animation chamber, otherwise known as the fridge. Good ol’ CBC used to have a program called ‘The Wanted Word’ wherein people submitted words that didn’t exist, but should. That container is called ‘tupperscare’. Had a few of them over the years.

  9. Madeline says:

    Hi Karen, Your hair looks nice in the photo, so I guess that day you chose hair over clothes. What are the plants in the raised bed? I’m sorry to say that I did not buy one of th clown suits on offer because non of them looked ironic enough, although they were all scary.

    • Karen says:

      Oh nooo my hair is not looking good there, lol. But thanks, at least I know when I think may hair is looking it’s worst it might not be as bad as I think. The plants are strawberries! 🙂 ~ karen

  10. Robert says:

    Well that was a small part of the intention

  11. Erin says:

    Ah! I love it. Personally I’d wear the clown suit if I could have perfect hair (I think to myself as I shove liquefying cucumbers to the left and then behind the cilantro)…. happy dirty days!!

  12. Lois Baron says:

    “. . . get so bad in their refrigerator that they had to throw out the entire container . . .” roflmao. I literally did this *today.* It’s just as well all my containers are reused deli containers or I might feel worse about it. Well, OK, I do feel a tinge that I’m not recycling the container, but that’s mostly about worrying my husband will see it because he is the recycling Nazi at our house.

    I’m so thankful you’re alive & writing a blog.

  13. K says:

    Well, I would think if one has a sexy outfit and nice make up – maybe aweful hair could be pulled off under the assumption of ” an exciting tussle offscreen”? Hmmm… that ‘just out of bed head’ … I guess I’d choose the outfit? 😏
    I feel so guilty when I throw out liquified veggies and I’m so glad it’s actually common enough to be a blog post title 😉 Do you have suggestions for fertilizer that’s safe for growing plants that kids may consume sometimes straight out of the dirt ? ( obviously I’m going to promote washing but this is our first attempt at a summer garden and I was unsure if some soils are considered more breeding ground for dangerous bacteria? Or maybe I’m just paranoid?)

    • Karen says:

      Hey! I don’t use fertilizers I just use compost. But even compost can be dangerous in some cases because it often contains animal manure and if it hasn’t been properly composted there can be pathogens. I compost my own so I know it’s all been composted at a proper temp. Really I wouldn’t worry about it though personally. ~ karen!

  14. Brin says:

    You look great wish I could say the same in my bee keeping suit. I don’t have bees though. I’m getting ready to annihilate a squadron of black wasps and yellow jackets so I can grow a tomato plant. I know, clothes can be an issue. Btw, what brand of clothes washer do you have? Mine went out (I don’t know where) a month and a half a go. I am tired of beating my clothes on the rock down by the creek. It’s the weekend, have a great one! 🙂

    • Karen says:

      Rock washing is the worst. 😉 I have a Bosch set but they’re both on their last legs at 17 years old. ~ karen!

      • Brin says:

        Seriously! 17 yrs. is awesome. I am impressed. I do think appliances were made better back then.

        • Karen says:

          Don’t be too impressed. I’ve fixed it myself countless times from replacing the motor brushes to fuses to belts. ~ karen!

  15. Brin says:

    P.S. I threw out my liquified cucumber in the baggy last week and replaced it with a new one. It’s in a baggy in the door where I can keep my eye on it. lol

  16. Sia says:

    And here I thought you had discovered the great mystery of upcycling liquified cucumbers. Happens too often.

    • Melissa says:

      Sia, part of me almost gagged at the thought, but then another part of me wondered if Karen had some kind of fermented-cuke-health-water idea brewing- no pun intended.

      I do like Kombucha : ]

  17. Miriam says:

    Never mind the hair or outfit, you have a shovel that is as tall as you!

    Get dirty indeed!!!

  18. Sabina says:

    Yesssss! And I wear a bathing suit under mine so I can just walk right down to the beach when I’m done 😎

  19. Marilyn says:

    Starting this weekend I will have dirty nails for weeks. I hate gloves and I scrub and scrub but sometimes it’s just impossible..

    • Karen says:

      I wear latex surgical gloves for most gardening. I hate hate HATE the feel of dirty hands. Creeps me out. ~ karen!

    • Jane C. says:

      I can’t garden wearing gloves either. I’ve tried. I just have dirty fingers from spring until fall. I have been known, in moments of desperation, to soak my hands in warm water and bleach.

    • Marion Gibson says:

      Lee Valley sells scrub brushes that will get your hands and nails clean yet won‘t destroy your skin. Very soft plastic non bristly bristles! They come in a package of 12 which have lasted me many years even though I have given some away to friends in need. I even use one to scrub vegetables. I think they‘re like the ones used in hospitals. And the best part – they‘re
      Inexpensive!

  20. Jenny W says:

    LoL! The sidebar on my Mac listed products I might be interested in, and there were 6 photos of clown suits 😀
    My fridge has the super power to liquify anything.
    Good hair over an outfit every time – dark sunglasses glasses and lipstick put it up a notch
    Snows finally gone here on the east coast, though most of it is underwater due to flooding, so I have an entire back yard of melted dog poo to clean up this weekend.

  21. Erin G says:

    Dirty nails until November, here we go!

  22. Claudia Volano says:

    So how DO you avoid letting a cuke go liquid besides eating it?

  23. Rose says:

    Hair and strawberries look great! No time for the rest. This weekend, have to plant the garden, pull out the summer clothes, put away the winter clothes, clean the windows, wash sheets and hang outside on the line,paint the bathroom, and ride 50 Km on my bike. Then stop for coffee.

    • Hillary says:

      This sounds like an amazing weekend!!

    • Karen says:

      That sounds like a perfect plan for a Saturday morning! ~ karen

    • Jan in Waterdown says:

      That sounds like my entire freekin’ summer. Except for the plant the garden part. And I don’t do windows or paint. Ride 50K? Not happening, but I do like coffee. Gawd I’m lazy (& retired). It’s wonderful.
      Hope your weekend is grand!

  24. Leslie from Hampton says:

    Gosh your hair always looks good Karen!! I know I look like a rag a muffin all growing season. I love putting my bare hands in the dirt. No gloves for me unless I am dealing with raspberry canes! Nothing better than sticking your hands in your garden.

  25. Mary W says:

    What I saw in that picture was a very hard working, cute girl with nice hair. She is standing in a nicely worked garden in front of a tiny bush of lemons. Wait – what are those yellow globes? I was so afraid to read you this morning – the thought of making some kind of soup with leftover, cucumber moosh was overwhelmingly a bad idea. I do love happy endings!

  26. Susan says:

    Anything from Lee Valley is hot, dirty or clean. But I’m disappointed. I got all excited when I saw your header and thought you had some marvellous way of keeping cucumbers longer. I love my cucumbers and balsamic vinegar and hate having to go to town more than once a week. On a liquified cucumber related note, I sincerely hope that whoever makes no name freezer bags has nothing to do with the production of condoms.

  27. Jane Walker says:

    You crack me up 😆🤣
    And often make sh*+ load of sense.
    Authenticity shining through❣️

  28. Ann Roberts says:

    You do realize tomorrow is world wide nude gardening day, right? I want to see “those” pics!! I have plans on getting creative tomorrow so my hubs can take a pic that shows me nude without showing me nude, LOL……..I bet you could hold veggies, or chickens, or something and also get a creative nudie. Are you up for the challenge?

    • Karen says:

      Nnnnnnnnnope, lol. My garden is in the middle of a community garden. And the only plant growing in there is a 3 inch tall kale plant. And I’m not willing to pull that out of the ground to cover a nipple. ~ karen!

  29. Jennifer says:

    Oh come on, you look fine–your garden gloves are an actual matching pair. Very presentable.

  30. Jen says:

    I didn’t even notice what you were wearing in the picture because STRAWBERRIES! Happy gardening!

  31. Hillary says:

    Dear Karen,
    If you’re ever asking yourself if you should make a post about nothing, ask yourself, “Does it have more than one beaver joke?” and if so, then the answer is always YES. I enjoy your writing very much, so keep ’em coming!

  32. Susan D'Achille says:

    I love today’s post. I can so relate!! Just came in for breakfast after working in my small hoophouse getting ready for gardening season. I can honestly say I look dirtier than you at the moment slugging around in mud up to my ankles. But in a sick kind of way I LOVE it!! Everybody should get out in a garden and get dirty. We would have a much better world for sure. Happy gardening and wishing you reap tons of veggies.

  33. Heather says:

    I don’t imagine you think of yourself as “delightful” but you are! Thanks for a fun start to the day.

  34. Rebecca says:

    I love the photo! Your hair Is Perfect as is your oufit.
    Spring… time to cut my nails short. They’re already stained from gardening any way. No shoes till October! My hub inspects my feet before I climb into bed. Terminally dirty all summer. I wonder how many times I’ve been all dressed up to go out and as I reach for the car door I realize my hands are all muddy! Wasn’t even aware I stopped to pluck a few weeds. Clean hands and feet are overrated. Gardeners embrace magic.

  35. celestial says:

    I think you are beautiful. You are so funny that you don’t need a clown suit. Rein on.

    • Karen says:

      Well thanks. Can’t say I agree about the beautiful (at least not in this particular shot) but thank you for saying so. ~ karen!

  36. You are such a fabulous and entertaining writer! I can’t help but laugh when I read your posts and yet I actually learn alot at the same time. I’m so glad I found you!!

  37. yvette says:

    haha! I think it’s hilarious that Amazon now thinks I need a clown suit because of your article!

  38. linda in illinois says:

    oh please !! if my hair looked that good on a bad hair day, it would be a miracle. You look fantastic.. my favorite color is “DIRT”. lol

  39. Andrea says:

    You can do either! As long as hair Or outfit looks fabulous AND you have good makeup, it looks like you did the other as a fashion statement. But you gotta own it to pull it off!

  40. Christine says:

    I always tell my neighbors that when I’m gardening “it ain’t pretty”. But they all garden too, so they understand.
    However, one neighbor gardens, has long, beautifully manicured nails and seems to keep them that way all summer. Not sure how she does that!

  41. Cathy Mamer says:

    Hope my Gravatar takes….

  42. Jeanne says:

    Gardening allows me to play in the dirt all day without looking like a weirdo. Though my husband does find it amusing and I often wonder how some people can work in their garden and not get dirty. I go to water the plants and come back looking like Pigpen.

    * btw, I’d go for the nice clothes and the beaver family…

    • Sherri says:

      Oh yeah, love the feel of good garden soil, pulling up a rascally weed roots intact. I’ve ruined many pairs of shoes while running out for a quick peak. Cheers to the next few months of dirty fun

  43. Jacquie Gariano says:

    We compost a lot. But sometimes there is something in the refer that I don’t know what it is and don’t want to know. Garbage, sorry. I’d like to look that good gardening.

  44. Leisa Joan says:

    I always tell people my house doesn’t get properly cleaned once I start gardening again…I don’t have the time, and I’d rather be out in the garden.
    oh, & I used to have a pair of old crappy green sweat pants that I gardened in, nicknamed “mean greens” and patched & fixed them until the elastic was no longer usable…and that’s when my dog would get loose in the neighborhood & I had to track her down in those mean greens & my wellies…those were the days.

  45. Melissa says:

    Everyone in my family find clowns terrifying so I would always go with good hair if forced to make a choice. I don’t know about you but as I get older I give a lot less fucks about how I look and more on how I spend my time. Bring on gardening season!!!

  46. Benjamin says:

    Karen, Just a friendly reminder that Saturday is International Garden Naked Day!! I hope you’ll snap a few pics to share with your readers. With a well placed garland of glitter and bedazzle of course. Those melon seeds aren’t going to plant themselves… Have a great day !!

  47. Marion says:

    I love that one of the sidebar ads on this post wants me to buy clown costumes from Amazon! Bahahahaha.

  48. SusanR says:

    Setting aside entirely the point you were making, if in your life you purchase one, good human hair wig in a suitable style, and take care of it over the years, you’ll never have to make the decision of hair or clothing. You’ll be able to have the Chanel Shoes and Ralph Lauren silk dress, no matter what your hair actually looks like. So long as you haven’t cemented it into actual cement spikes on your head, you’ll be able to just slip on that wig and be ready to dance the night away or pop off to the grocery, whatever.

    I cannot recommend too highly the stress-free hair life that a good wig provides.

  49. Kristin Ferguson says:

    Sometimes, when I’m working on dirty work, I wish I could just not have hair for the duration. My hair is long, and it gets tangled no matter what I do. Last night’s marathon of tiling a shower alcove is a case in point.

  50. Joel says:

    I love and dread gardening season. Excited to do the work and see the wonderful produce we will harvest… dread that something will go wrong and plants will die. I worked on a farm when I was a teenager and the farmer was always worried about something (frost, no rain, too much rain, pests, weeds, …).

    How do you cope with the stress of gardening?

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