If you’ve been doing things right this summer there are two things you have in your possession right now. A speeding ticket and a garden full of vegetables. Who can resist the urge of rolling down the windows on a hot summer night, blaring Southern Rock on a dusty country road? Filled with radar detectors.
Having said that, I should point out that if you speed you probably never get ticketed. If, on the other hand, you rarely speed because you realized at a young age that your wages from the store in the mall couldn’t pay for both a pair of bondage pants AND a speeding ticket … you probably get ticketed for speeding quite often. Because THAT is the way the world works.
It’s the same law that ensures the day you’re finally getting your hair cut it looks fantastic, the one time you go out wearing pajama pants with a mustard stain on the crotch, wearing a fork as a barrette you run into an ex, and the grocery cart you pull out is always the loudest one in the store that rattles and bangs you around the store in a cloud of noise embarrassment which would only be worse if it were farting.
Then there’s the vegetables. If you planted even the smallest garden you should be overrun with vegetables and flowers by now. Unless cucumber beetles passed some sort of stupid wilt onto your zucchini, in which case you’re not overwhelmed with vegetables but merely overrun. There’s a difference.
To save zucchini seeds, by the way, you have to let the zucchini get to mammoth proportions so the seeds are big enough to harvest. The size of zucchini you’d normally eat barely even has visible seeds. So let it grow, let it grow, let it grow.
Most people also have flowers blooming, tomatoes growing and herbs going to seed. So NOW is the time to start collecting seeds to use next year. At the very least now is the time to print out really cute Art of Doing Stuff seed packets for free.
I made these just for you.
Just click on the packets above and you’ll get the full sized image which you can print on your computer and then cut them out for seed packets. 2 of them should fill an entire standard size piece of computer paper. If it doesn’t fill the entire page check to make sure your printing mode is set to full size, or just increase the percentage until it’s large enough. The cleaver on the package is my own, actual cleaver by the way. I took a picture of it and then fiddled with the photo until it looked just right for the seed package.
You can print the seed packets on regular computer paper or do what I did which was use plain brown paper. Just cut the brown paper to the size of standard computer paper.
Print the packets, cut them out and fold them along the fold lines. Glue the back together and start sorting seeds.
As your seeds start to become available NOW you won’t have to origami paper ineffectively, therefore losing all your seeds. You won’t have to use regular envelopes that are way too big to hold the few seeds you have and might accidentally get mailed to the hydro company along with a very terse letter about how it wasn’t your fault you had to wash mustard out of p’jamas in the middle of the afternoon and you’d like the discounted “off peak” rate please.
So print at will and print as often as you like.
If you missed the link up top, here is the link to the seed packets.
And just say no to speeding. On the other hand I don’t want to hear that any of you have EVER turned down the volume of Sweet Home Alabama.