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    Home » Me

    Dear Earth Hour 2025. You Can Suck It.

    March 26, 2020 by Karen 137 Comments

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    That's right. I said it. Earth Hour can suck it.  My lights are staying on. Here's why.

    Hold on a second ... before you begin reading this, go grab a coffee or a cocoa, some nice comfy p'jamas and settle in for a long, heartwarming story.  There will be love, betrayal and even a chase scene!  We're talkin' real Hollywood stuff here.   

    This is all about Earth Hour. An event, observed for the first time in 2007 in Australia.  The event is tomorrow night as a matter of fact.

    Every year since then, between 8:30 and 9:30 in the evening, people have been encouraged to show their undying love for Mother Earth by turning their lights off for one hour.  

    And that is exactly what I did several years ago for our big bulbous globe.  I turned every single light off in my house ...  for 45 minutes. 15 minutes less than the amount I was supposed to. More on that technicality later.

    I did this, even though I didn't have any children tugging at my skirt threatening to tell their teacher on me if I didn't.  I did this because I wanted to do what I could for the greater cause.  

    I wanted to take a part in a candle lit global revolution.  I wanted to feel like I was in a Police video circa 1983.

    Also, this was something that could make me feel more highly evolved than all of my electrical light burning neighbours, so that seemed like fun.


    Earth Hour

    Let me set the scene for you. The year was 2008 and the very first global Earth Hour was about to take place. 

    It was neither a dark nor stormy night.

    This is an accurate account of how Earth Hour played out on the evening of March 29th 2008 in a small brick cottage in a small town in Ontario, Canada.

         As the Earth hour festivities got underway I took a walk around the neighbourhood to see how few people were taking part.  I expected to see lights blazing from every window. Maybe even someone with their furnace running while all their windows and doors were wide open. Or powering their electric toothbrushes with a Hummer.

    Something to help me feel smug as I contemplated my own house swathed in darkness a block behind me.

    But no.

    It seemed I wasn't any more enlightened than everyone around me. The streets were dark as pretty much everyone observed Earth Hour. That was disappointing for me. What I was most hoping to accomplish with Earth Hour was an ego boost.

    Even that guy a few doors down who never misses an opportunity to tell me that  "recycling is for suckers"  had his lights off.  Of course, he could have just retired early for the evening, under a blanket of beer cans while watching a Monster Garage marathon.

    I got  home and fumbled through the dark into my living room.  I thought, it felt good to be taking just one measly little hour of my life to help the world, as I started a fire in the fireplace.  And it wasn't just me ... it was the whole world taking part to help save the planet.  

    It was like we were all giving Mother Earth a great big, green hug.  The kind you'd get on St. Patrick's Day  from a large, wobbly stranger but without the fear of being vomited on.  I sat down by the glow of the fire and admired my neighbours dark windows.

    I was already resolving to do this Earth Hour thing every year for the rest of my life.  Even if it was inexplicably cancelled in the future - because of  people burning their houses down from lighting candles, for instance - I was gonna do it.

    Would you like to save this stuff?

    We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.

    I love feeling like it's the olden days, so this "turn off the lights" thing was perfect.  It made me feel like Laura Ingalls.  

    For some reason I got up to do something - maybe look for my pinafore -  when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.  Of course, being pitch black in the house I couldn't see what it was. I felt my way to the closet, running my hands along the walls for guidance, so I could grab a flashlight.  There were 15 minutes left in Earth Hour; I didn't want to turn on a light for fear of being ridiculed by my neighbours.  

    As I knew I would ridicule them.

    I made my way back to where I was and aimed the flash light in the general direction of where I saw something.  It was around the tablecloth in my centre hall.  I flicked the overhead light on and immediately felt nausea that went from the tip of my head right down to my toes.  You know that feeling when you almost fall down the stairs and your feet start to tingle from the fear and then you have an actual stroke, followed by a heart attack and then an aneurysm?  

    I had that.

    There were CENTIPEDES crawling up my floor length table cloth.  Lots of them.  I ran to the nearest switch and turned on a blaze of lights.  There were centipedes everywhere.  They were crawling up the inside and the outside of my tablecloth, they were on my stairs and making their way up the walls. The same walls I ran my hands all over making my way to the closet.

    I really felt kind of ill now.  My heart was pounding and my brain recognized this as a time my face should squinch up into the "Oh my God, I see a bug look" but my brain just couldn't cope with the overload so it froze, in a sort of ghastly version of  the Home Alone kid before turning itself inside out. 

    I don't know if there's been any scientific documentation of pulling a nose muscle, but I did it that night. 

    Turning all the lights off for an hour wasn't only an event for me.  It became a full-on festival of fun for the centipede army living in my basement.  And they came out to party like it was 1999.  I distinctly saw one of them was wearing a little purple satin coat.

    And just like that I despised Mother Earth.  I sunk to my knees, shook my fist at the sky and howled  WHYYYYYYYY?????. I can be very dramatic when given the chance.  I couldn't believe after all my work, all my effort she had done this to me.  Betrayed me in this way.   Because it was HER ... it was SHE who created these little monsters that were crawling all over my home (and they weren't the Lady Gaga little monsters).  THEM I would have accepted with open arms.

    Centipede Drawing 2

     
     

    Now, I love every animal ever made - except centipedes.  Centipedes are the Devil's phlegm and should be sprayed with the most lethal thing you have in a can.  

    Which this night was hairspray.  

    With every light on in the house I ran around spraying every centipede I could, which wasn't very many because they're quite a fast moving bug, the centipede.   If they ever did decide to go the Lady Gaga monster route they'd make quite a group of backup dancers.

    I'm sure this was quite a site for the neighbours.  All of the street darkness with my house lit up like it was on fire offering a perfect view of me running around with a can of hairspray, convulsing and jumping an interpretive dance of death.  

    After an hour I had gone through 2 cans of hairspray, the remnants of a can of Raid and all of the pills that might act as some sort of tranquilizer - which at the time turned out to be out half a bottle of chewable Gaviscon. 

    Every object in my house was held in place with maximum hold, letting off the sickly stench of a hair salon fogged with death chemicals.

    For the most part the centipedes had just craned their necks around, looked at me and scurried into a crack to further their party back home.  I couldn't sleep for days.  Obviously something had to be done.

    The next weekend saw the arrival of the Great Centipede Purge of 2008.  I threw out, cleaned, and sprayed my 170 year old basement with the most lethal chemicals I could find. Cans that had pictures of skulls, crossbones and upside down bugs with legs sticking straight up in the air on them.

    I think you'll be surprised to find out that I do still celebrate Earth Hour.  One can't be completely selfish.

    I mean, sure she created centipedes but Mother Earth is also responsible for the pretty trees and flowers around in the springtime.  And the butterflies I help raise every summer. Butterflies! Now there's a group of friendly, sensible bugs who would never even think of house squatting.

     So yes, I still celebrate Earth Hour.  And I still turn all my lights off.   I just do it in my own special way.  

    From 2 to 3 in the afternoon. 

    Dear Earth Hour 2025.  You Can Suck It.

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    1. Barb Gardhouse

      March 31, 2025 at 3:44 pm

      OK, this actually made me laugh out loud!
      Great minds think a like, my first reaction was GRAB HAIRSPRAY! (It was my weapon of choice for battling bed bugs).
      Miss you my friend.

      Reply
      • Karen

        April 04, 2025 at 11:18 am

        I miss you too Barb! I was so happy to see you here as I went through my comments this morning. Centipedes can fuck off. ~ karen!

        Reply
    2. Julie

      March 21, 2025 at 5:24 pm

      I need to search up your butterfly post. I had butterfly babies on my dill and nowhere for them to cocoon!

      Reply
      • Karen

        March 21, 2025 at 11:13 pm

        Those were probably swallowtails if you found them on dill. Here's the start of the butterfly series.

        Reply
        • Julie

          March 22, 2025 at 11:30 am

          Yes! They were. And I actually saw one lay the eggs! My family thought I was losing my mind I was so excited. 😆

    3. Ada Berry

      March 21, 2025 at 4:39 pm

      Dear Karen,
      FYI I live in Oklahoma, which is an all bug species haven. I use Borax to keep them out. I sprinkle it all around the perimeter of my house every 6 months or so and it works really well. This won't do anything for the ones living in your attic and walls, but it will keep more from joining their friends!

      Reply
    4. Carrie Anne

      March 21, 2025 at 11:54 am

      First of all…lol lol lol!!!
      Secondly Karen, it’s interesting you have sent the wrong link not once but twice in a week which happens to include St Patty’s Day!☘️☘️
      Are we nipping a little too much leprechaun juice or are you just trying to remove the memories of those nasty centipedes???? 😂
      FYI those things are so disgusting they don’t even have an emoji for them! 🤢🤢
      As always, thank you for the smile! 😊

      Reply
      • Karen

        March 21, 2025 at 12:03 pm

        Sorry, I do'nt undersand your quyestion. Hic. ~ karen! ;)

        Reply
    5. Michelle Strimple

      March 21, 2025 at 11:04 am

      LOL!!!
      Great read/laugh!!
      My boss isn't as impressed, as I didn't share this with her....she just heard me laughing, and just knew it wasn't related to work!! :-P

      Reply
    6. Mary W

      March 21, 2025 at 10:42 am

      You are definitely one of a kind - I'm so happy I follow you!

      Reply
    7. Olimpia

      March 21, 2025 at 3:14 am

      THE DEVILS PHLEM! OMG I was laughing so hard Karen. You are just the absolute best. I love reading your stuff. But seriously though, centipedes oh hell no. I would have ran down the street, fists in the air cursing the heavens. Crazy story. Your all that is awesome in the world!

      Reply
      • Karen

        March 21, 2025 at 11:59 am

        Thank you Olimpia. I am here to entertain, teach and stomp out centipedes. It is my role in life. ~ karen!

        Reply
    8. Randy P

      March 21, 2025 at 1:31 am

      OK, I'm 70 plus six and a comfortable and accomplished curmudgeon. Somehow the existence of a thing called Earth Hour has eluded me until just now, 12:23am on 3-21-25 here in Chicago, IL, US of A. Now that I am aware of it the contrarian in me will most likely want to turn on every electrical device I own for said hour. The realist in me will accept that I'll more than likely forget about the idea and do nothing, which will indeed provide positive reinforcement to my profound apathy towards such 'feel good' events. Potayto -Potahto. p.s. Death to centipedes!

      Reply
      • Olimpia

        March 21, 2025 at 3:18 am

        Well said. Bravo hehe

        Reply
    9. Jacquie Gariano

      May 01, 2020 at 1:55 am

      I just love and all your readers. I get suck a great laugh out of so many blogs. Good info too. But really, when I need a laugh you come through for me.
      I don't do well with any crawly creatures and I don't have any awful stories about them. But one time my son, then about 11-12 brought home a snake and freaked me out, I took a swing at it (him too) and it got away. I had him, my other son and my husband looking for that sucker for days (weeks) and we never did find it. Not even when we moved out of that house, not even his dried up skin.

      Reply
    10. Linda

      March 28, 2020 at 6:43 pm

      Dear, dearest Karen et. al
      There is one wee very important factoid that I fear typing out in case I am forever blocked...hence the typos I had to type three damn times to get it out there. Those particular gargantuan, yes, I always exaggerate, bloody buggers are needed in basements to keep silverfish etc. away from anything paper and many other materials. Puhlease do not banish me, there are moments when I am actually a nice person. Very rare, as in true blue moon rare but age seems to be bringing them on occasionally now!
      shaking in my boots surrounded by centipedes may just be going down the third time.
      Linda

      Reply
    11. Alli

      March 27, 2020 at 10:19 pm

      I'm sleeping with 2 cans of hairspray and a can of dry shampoo.

      Reply
      • Karen

        March 28, 2020 at 10:31 am

        I think that's for the best. ~ karen!

        Reply
        • Linda

          March 28, 2020 at 6:45 pm

          Nope, there are flour sources in the dry shampoo of which they would be very fond of, bwahahahahah. Face it, we are screwed in North America. Those b*sTurds probably would survive the damned Arctic Circle.

      • Melissa

        March 21, 2025 at 7:02 am

        The picture you provide depicts a rather angelic little creature, as opposed to the crawlies emerging from the root system where Bilbo and company are hiding while eluding the first ring wraith in the first LOTR movie.

        But still, a parade of anything emerging from one's basement would be a lot to endure(!)

        Reply
    12. May

      March 27, 2020 at 10:15 pm

      Is it me, or is your centipede drawing flipping the finger at us?

      Reply
    13. Ritz

      March 27, 2020 at 8:09 pm

      L'dOL! It's wonderful that you're a funny lady.

      Reply
    14. Fiona Mae

      March 27, 2020 at 6:03 pm

      Actually, you shouldn't worry about the centipedes. It's what they are after you should be worried about.

      They eat all kinds of little critters, which make me shiver more than the little centipede. URGLE!! (<---my word for ugh and eew and gurgle, it works for me).

      From Wikipedia:
      House centipedes feed on spiders, bed bugs, termites, cockroaches, silverfish, ants, and other household arthropods. They administer venom through forcipules. These are not part of their mandibles, so strictly speaking they sting rather than bite.

      If you have a lot of centipedes .... then they have a big food source.

      And it ain't you. Thank goodness!

      Reply
    15. Maryanne

      March 27, 2020 at 3:13 pm

      BWahahaha - your centipede drawing is giving the finger. I almost sprayed my tea at work XD

      Reply
    16. Lolla

      March 27, 2020 at 2:31 pm

      Just so you know we are binge watching The Killing based on your recommendations and love it!!!!

      Reply
    17. Genevieve

      March 27, 2020 at 1:10 pm

      🤣🤣🤣
      I love your solution to participating sensibly! I lived in a tent in the woods for almost a year once. The only spray I had to use was mosquito repellent. But back to living indoors and got no respect for my spruce from undesirable critters and I stocked up on big poison quick!

      Reply
    18. Janine B

      March 27, 2020 at 12:37 pm

      OMG! that is a horrifying story. I am terrified of them. I had to scroll superfast past the image. I have used hairspray on them as well.... felt a little bad about that but not enough to stop.

      Reply
    19. Vikki

      March 27, 2020 at 12:32 pm

      when we lived in Arizona, we had a "nest" of scorpions in/around our house. The bug extermination company said they had nothing that would kill scorpions--apparently cockroaches and scorpions are the only things that will survive a nuclear bomb. The only thing I ever found that would kill them is a hammer.

      Reply
    20. Diana Radney

      March 27, 2020 at 12:12 pm

      Karen, you are my spirit animal.

      Thanks for telling it like it is and the laughs.

      Reply
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