My Scare With an Intruder.

Two weeks ago I had one of the biggest scares of my life. I’ve always wondered how I’d react if I came face to face with an intruder.  Here’s the good news; now I know.

Most break-ins happen in the middle of the day, in nice weather, in the summer.  Those who break into homes don’t like venturing out at night and certainly don’t want to go to work when it’s raining and risk frizzy hair.  So really, burglars are just like you and I, only they’re missing a conscience.  And a hairdryer. Plus they’re shitheads, so there’s that.

Here’s what happened.  If you follow me on Instagram you know that I’ve been building something lately. When one builds something one needs power tools.  And sometimes one needs to borrow those tools from her sister who owns enough power tools to build a suburban subdivision.  Pink Tool Belt had a compound mitre saw I wanted to borrow and it was at a house that she’s renovating. At around 5:00 on a Friday afternoon I grabbed the key from her and drove over to the house.

I pulled into the driveway, gravel crunching under my tires, and walked towards the back door.  My sister had given me a couple of keys to try because she wasn’t sure which one fit the lock on that house.   After running through a couple of keys, I slipped the right one into the keyhole and opened the door.  I walked into a house that had that weird feeling of a home that isn’t lived in.  An empty shell where sounds bounce off the walls like lottery balls in an air chute.

Knowing no one was supposed to be in the house working, I was taken aback when I thought I could hear some sort of sound when I got inside.  A kind of shuffling for somewhere in the house but I couldn’t pinpoint where the sound might be coming from.   At that  point I did what everyone does when they hear something alarming.  I ignored it.

I took a quick look around to see some of the work my sister had done and then went to the basement, yes, the basement, the dark, scary basement, to get the saw.  I don’t mind telling you I didn’t entirely want to go into the basement. Something didn’t feel right about this whole episode.

I ran upstairs out of the basement with the saw (yes, I really ran, the saw is extremely lightweight which is why I wanted to borrow it) and set it down to turn the light off.  That’s when I heard noise again and this time I knew I couldn’t ignore it.  I knew this because I got that tingly feeling in my toes and a dribble of pee escaped.

And then I did something really stupid.

You know in horror movies when the next idiot who’s about to get killed goes TOWARDS the ominous sound instead of away from it?  Yeah, I did that.

And because I’m a blogger, I also whipped out my phone.

Have a good weekend.  Stay safe.

 

 

 

 

→Like to Sweat, Swear and do Stuff? GET MY POSTS emailed to you 3 times a week←

 

 

96 Comments

  1. cASSAndra e says:

    So many smiles on my face. And I haven’t heard squirrel nut zippers as a moon. Thank you!

  2. Nicole says:

    I’m really hoping it’s worth the 3 min ad. Lol!!

    • Karen says:

      Hi Nicole! You should be able to stop those 3 minute ads. :/ If you encounter one again just reload the page and another one will pop up. Usually a 15 second one. ~ karen!

  3. Shauna says:

    HA, I knew it was going to a squirrel…or a raccoon, you know because they’re the OG burglars. Great video:)

  4. Heather says:

    That was funny! You got me. I imagined some horrid villain. Squirrels are just horrid. They’re okay in trees but horrid in the house. I once came home and found one in my kitchen. The little devil had chewed through a screen and was on my counter. Weirder was a chipmunk who got in somehow and refused to leave. I came into my kitchen and heard the sound of his (her?) nails screabbling on the tiles as he/she tore off. Next thing, there she was on the back of my couch. I tried chasing her towards open doors, but she refused to exit. I kept asking her: “What is it? Is there an owl out there? A snake? Why won’t you leave?” Finally, I had to buy a live trap, bait it with strawberries, and capture her. I let her go about a km from home. She’s never been back. Thank goodness! 😀

  5. Dana says:

    I enjoy that Pink Toolbelt also has a pink lawn chair!

  6. Kathy O HARTZELL says:

    OK, I’m so glad you got to see your intruder run away. You know he wasn’t trying to do any harm, just looking for a safe space to bury nuts. I was an au pair for a family with a large house, but not so large that I didn’t hear a lot of poodle and collie commotion in the laundry room. They had “treed” a mouse behind the freezer. I shut the door on the dogs, and blocked one side of the freezer with a box, and made a path out the back door from canned goods (didn’t occur to me that this mouse could climb) but, he did follow the path. Then, the dogs got thru the door, lunged at the mouse but never got to him – he dropped dead. Seriously, had a heart attack on the back stairs! Scared to death. If I didn’t watch it I’d not have believed it. Not a drop of blood on little Mickey, not a bite mark, just trembled himself to death.

    • Jacquie says:

      Awww, I hate mice and rats but “just trembled himself to death” made me sad for him; so near to freedom yet so far.

  7. H says:

    New subscriber. Not a poster, but…
    Hehehe. Great build-up!
    Thanks for that.😊
    Glad you’re safe too. Really enjoying your random wit.
    H

  8. Amy Watson says:

    Karen……you scared the shit outta me….damn it.

  9. Yabut says:

    LOL…I am glad it was just a squirrel, and I do hope he wasn’t trapped in there long enough to cause any damage. I thought I heard something here when I came in one day too. There is a big stick by the door that I picked up before venturing further. It’s not a smart thing to do, going looking for trouble like that. Luckily, though I checked every room carefully, there was nobody here. I wear a hearing aid and don’t always recognize common sounds so there’s no telling what it is that I actually heard. We both should know better though, eh.

  10. Marilyn Meagher says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

  11. Lindy says:

    Oh Karen,

    You just gave me such a gift. First time in just over three years that I could laugh at an intruder story and I did, heartily. My intruder story did not end so well because a soul lost their life…I was afraid to watch your video which is my “norm” these days regarding intruders. I thank the universe for your story today. What fun you will be having with that story now that your heartbeat went back to normal!!!! Do have such a lovely weekend on your journey of life.

  12. Deb Ketchum says:

    you used squirrel nut zippers

    LOLOLOL!!!!!

  13. Orval Redenbacher says:

    I knew it would be an animal of some kind based on the build up and as soon as the eerie music began it was 100% an over dramatic setup

  14. Kara says:

    KAREN omg stahp

  15. Leisa Joan says:

    Thanks for my laugh of the day. loved it.

  16. HA HA HA! Best song choice ever! You’re the master Karen.

  17. Sabina says:

    OMG YOU MADE MY WEEK!!! I have a few friends that I have this running theme of squirrel memes, gifs, jokes, etc. with, and now I can’t wait to share this with them!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Art of Doing Stuff
Pin
Share
Email