Two weeks ago I had one of the biggest scares of my life. I’ve always wondered how I’d react if I came face to face with an intruder. Here’s the good news; now I know.
Most break-ins happen in the middle of the day, in nice weather, in the summer. Those who break into homes don’t like venturing out at night and certainly don’t want to go to work when it’s raining and risk frizzy hair. So really, burglars are just like you and I, only they’re missing a conscience. And a hairdryer. Plus they’re shitheads, so there’s that.
Here’s what happened. If you follow me on Instagram you know that I’ve been building something lately. When one builds something one needs power tools. And sometimes one needs to borrow those tools from her sister who owns enough power tools to build a suburban subdivision. Pink Tool Belt had a compound mitre saw I wanted to borrow and it was at a house that she’s renovating. At around 5:00 on a Friday afternoon I grabbed the key from her and drove over to the house.
I pulled into the driveway, gravel crunching under my tires, and walked towards the back door. My sister had given me a couple of keys to try because she wasn’t sure which one fit the lock on that house. After running through a couple of keys, I slipped the right one into the keyhole and opened the door. I walked into a house that had that weird feeling of a home that isn’t lived in. An empty shell where sounds bounce off the walls like lottery balls in an air chute.
Knowing no one was supposed to be in the house working, I was taken aback when I thought I could hear some sort of sound when I got inside. A kind of shuffling for somewhere in the house but I couldn’t pinpoint where the sound might be coming from. At that point I did what everyone does when they hear something alarming. I ignored it.
I took a quick look around to see some of the work my sister had done and then went to the basement, yes, the basement, the dark, scary basement, to get the saw. I don’t mind telling you I didn’t entirely want to go into the basement. Something didn’t feel right about this whole episode.
I ran upstairs out of the basement with the saw (yes, I really ran, the saw is extremely lightweight which is why I wanted to borrow it) and set it down to turn the light off. That’s when I heard noise again and this time I knew I couldn’t ignore it. I knew this because I got that tingly feeling in my toes and a dribble of pee escaped.
And then I did something really stupid.
You know in horror movies when the next idiot who’s about to get killed goes TOWARDS the ominous sound instead of away from it? Yeah, I did that.
And because I’m a blogger, I also whipped out my phone.
Have a good weekend. Stay safe.
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