As someone who makes their living hosting television shows, you’d assume I’d have no problem making a video as simple as “How to Peel a Kiwi”. It’s peeling a fruit for God’s sake, it’s not like I was trying to peel an actual resident of New Zealand.
As a professional “hosty” person this shouldda been a piece of cake. I mean, over the course of my career I’ve been covered head to toe in snakes, appeared in bed with Jerry Springer, and interviewed Mel Gibson.
That’s a lotta snakes.
Yeah. Sometimes I have long hair. And a weird mouth.
If I could do all those things in one take without a bead of sweat on my brow surely I could knock off a “How to Peel a Kiwi” video in a minute or two. I mean … I’m a professional. And stuff.
Heh heh. Seems I was having an “off” day. I have those sometimes. This is exactly why I decided NOT to become a power-line technician.
However, being the stick-to-it, I don’t care if my video sucks, kindda gal … for your viewing pleasure …
How to Peel a Kiwi. (the least bad version)
How to Peel a Kiwi
How to peel a Kiwi with a teaspoon. Take 4.
You’ll notice the video improved vastly when I made the executive decision to not show myself in this version. Well, I showed my manhands … just not the rest of me. I’m thinking of bringing in a professional hair and makeup crew from here on in. Maybe dressing up a bit more.
And I’m bouncing back and forth on whether or not to get fitted for a flipper.
At this point in my scintillating post *cough, cough* I would like to give a hands up in the air “shout out” to my fella who took the “Men Climbing Mt. Kiwi” shot you see attached to this post on the homepage.
I love it. Too bad it wasn’t a video. Too bad he isn’t a makeup artist. Thumbs up that he isn’t a snake.
I want to try new styles
Wow, I just bought 4 kiwis today (I’m attempting to make a Green Monster smoothie…) Now I can peel em like a pro!
Now you can! :) ~ karen
That’s the most amazing thing I have ever seen.
I have four white porcelain kiwi cups. Like egg cups but with little spikes in the bottom, it’s an all in one deal so all porcelain.
Share the bitterness and envy around….no? Tsk.
So amazing. You never cease to make me LAUGH SO MUCH. Every video. Always.
The internet is nothing to me without your blog.
Thank you Teresa! I’m sorry to inform you that I just quit doing my blog. Until next Monday. See you then.
Karen,
I love love love the fruit bowl in the back ground. where can I get it?
Terri-Lynn – are you being a Jackass? (for those who aren’t in the know … Terri-Lynn is my niece) She’s been known to partake in Jackassian behaviour. On the off chance that you’re being serious I’ll tell you how I acquired this bowl. First off I live in an area that’s dense with clay. I dug up approximately 3 square yards of clay from my front yard. I then spent 2.4 weeks cleaning it of debris and worms and such. I then cut off a chunk and formed it into a bowl with my bare hands, using a rotating cake pedestal powered by trained mice in lieu of a pottery wheel. I have outfitted these mice with tiny running shoes with velcro straps instead of laces. I then bleached my newly formed bowl through a secret process and dried it in my kiln. Yes. I have a kiln. It’s right through a secret door in my basement which is normally only used by my pet hairless pygmy unicorns. Then I glazed the bowl, did whatever it is you do after glazing and filled it with fruit. Or I bought it at Homesense.
I didn’t realize the world suffered from not knowing how to peel a kiwi! Imagine my surprise to find my method of PEELING IT is entirely wrong. In the future, when I raise my own Kiwi, I will eat them fuzz and all.
My favourite part was the tah dah! My jaw dropped open. Totally. I’ve never seen this trick before. Next time I eat my semi-annual kiwi I will have to remember this.
I second the need to see you peel a mango. This is brilliant. Really.
Please do a mango!! After the kiwi, I think it is the only one I’m stumped by. Pleeeeaaaassseeee. You culd even add the snakes, I don’t mind.
Ah! I’ll be honest, I’ve never peeled one since I just slice them in half and then eat in an egg cup with a spoon. Good to know!
Excellent.
Most excellent. :)
I had to giggle at the thought that you had those little plastic guys from the “mount kiwi” photo just sitting around your house. You try to be all adult and grown up, but tell the truth. After the picture was taken you and your fella played with the plastic guys. You forced them to climb the mountain and dive off the top into a sink full of water. A few were unfortunately crushed when the mountain rolled over them and then the kiwi had little plastic guys stuck to it. Ok. I might be projecting what I would have done if I had little plastic guys and a few kiwi “mountains”. It’s a little harder to get away with stuff like that when you have kids. They think you are starting to lose it and they begin planning your future at the assylum. It’s happened once or twice.
And this is why I love you. I was just wondering this morning, as I stared at the strange kiwi, how to peel the cursed thing! As usual you swoop in and save the day. :)
Mmm, popping the kiwi out of the skin looks satisfying. Like squeezing a nice ripe juicy spot.
YES i derive satisfaction from that. I am not the only one and i know it.
OMG. OMG OMG OMG. OMG.
Holy shit, you’re a genius. You should see the kiwis I’ve mangled in the past while jonesing for a fruit salad.
that is brilliant!
At least it’s not “how to pick your nose”. Drivers on the highway over the weekend seemed to really be good at that. Shall I take a video for you?
I did 1 and only 1 video recipe. After watching it I very quickly decided I would need to lose like half my body weight & have dramatic plastic surgery before I ever appear in front of a camera again. It’s frustrating not being able to micromanage my appearance.