Today is the first day of The Christmas Pledge! Yes, indeed the time has come around again for you to proclaim it WAY too early to start getting ready for Christmas before you slam your head into a wall, shake your fist at me and then relent to take part.
I don’t want to make a big deal of this but Christmas is happening again and there are only 2 ways forward. You can calmly start getting ready now with The Christmas Pledge – or you can wait.
If you calmly start now you will have a calm December.
If you wait, you will panic 3 days before Christmas, have an asthma attack, develop hysterical blindness, bump your shin and admit yourself to an insane asylum. That wouldn’t be so bad, but your psychiatrist will be unsympathetic (she took the Christmas Pledge) and have an irritating case of post nasal drip.
What is the Christmas Pledge?
For those of you who don’t know, The Christmas Pledge has been my gift to you every year since 2011. A month long calendar filled with reminders from your cheery little Christmas dictator, Karen.
Each day in the month of November has a different holiday related task assigned to it. Follow the instructions on the calendar and …
You’ll be completely ready for Christmas by DECEMBER 1st.
That leaves the entire month of December for:
- Relaxing with wine.
- Watching television with wine.
- Braiding hair.
- Joining a book club.
- Learning more about the forgotten Brady Bunch kid, cousin Oliver.
- Making cookies.
- Eating cookies.
- Eating cookies with wine.
- Making marshmallow snowmen.
- Managing an all girl punk band.
- Naming your elbows.
Alright. Having said all that – I DO NOT feel like getting ready for Christmas this year. I want Christmas to just appear without effort like it does in movies and soap operas.
It’s *possible* I’ve taken on too much this year with my regular blog work, The Fun Stuff work, buying a rental property and … getting a puppy.
I’m not complaining, I’m just saying I hate this, this is stupid, why do I do so much, my arm is itchy, I’m so tired, why isn’t there a pill you can take to make your toenails stop growing, I don’t want to do laundry but I’m all out of underwear and WHO ATE ALL THE FUDGESICLES???
I’m so sorry. I had a little toot and feel much better about everything. I think I was just gassy.
Great! Now I’m ready jump out of a box with a Christmas tree tied to my head wearing a sequinned elf costume.
I present this year’s Christmas Pledge.
TO PRINT THE CHRISTMAS PLEDGE, DOWNLOAD IT HERE.
RED blocks mean you have those days to catch up on whatever you’re behind on. If you’re on track use the red days to help others get ready. Just kidding. Those suckers should have taken the pledge. Do whatever you want on those days.
On days 2 and 4 there are notations. They wouldn’t fit onto the calendar so here they are …
* Want to feel really good? Get a list of names from your local retirement/care home and
ask for the first name of residents who don’t have family. Come back in the middle
of December with a stack of cards for them.
** If you do your own nails or rarely do them, book a night on your calendar to do them yourself. It really will make you feel better the same way taking your casual sweatpants off to put your dress sweatpants on does.
If you think/know you’re the sort that needs to be held accountable and watched and maybe even pushed around a bit, you can join The Christmas Pledge Facebook Group here. Any one of the 1,000 members or I will be happy to set you straight.
Also it’s a great place to show off your decorating, wrapping, baking, and superiority over all other Christmas celebrators.
I understand you do not like me right now. You’ve never mailed me potato chips so I do not like you right now either. However, once you finally submit and agree to take The Christmas Pledge your feelings toward me will change. I on the other hand, will still not have any chips.
On your mark. Get set. Ho.