I Know You do Dumb Things Like This too

Which is why I have no problem confessing to my own dumb moves like this one involving ice, a moving car, and intestinal issues.

For those of you in warmer climates who might not be familiar with the frosty grip of winter let me explain something. Your car can be transformed into a frozen fortress, encased in ice. Your entire car sealed shut like a tomb. This is never as fun as it seems in Frozen.

Your hood, trunk, and doors can freeze shut with ice. Your tires can even freeze to the ground.

On the upside, I've ever once seen a scorpion, poisonous snake or spider around my car.

Car windows often freeze shut. As was the case with my car one February, January, maybe it was even a March morning. I can't remember. All I know is at some point last winter, instead of scraping the ice away or waiting for the car to heat up enough to melt it, I instead chose to manipulate the power window button to break my driver's side window free from its icy prison.

Up, down, up, down, up, down, accompanied by a symphony of mechanical noises, until finally, with a resounding CLUNK, the ice cracked free, and my window eased down. Victory!

I am a winner. The best of the best. I fixed my frozen window faster than ANYBODY else could have.

Since it was winter and there really was no reason for me to have my window open, I put the window back up. Half of it obeyed.

The other half scraped and screeched downward until my driver side window was up on one side, and down on the other.

This is when I realized it would have been smarter to try to fix my stuck window while the car was parked.

NOT WHILE DRIVING.

I performed this entire operation when I was comfortably settled in my car and driving to my destination. To save time you understand.

Only a loser with nothing better to do would try to fix their car while it was PARKED.

That kind of time wasting indulgence is for people who don't need to buy Diet Coke and coffee cream.

Which I don't need to tell you is a very important time sensitive emergency.

Don't worry. I'm not entirely dumb. Once I realized that I fixed my car window by breaking it, I immediately pulled over to the side of the road because it's dangerous to drive while under the influence of regret.

I up-down-up-down-up-downed the window again and it eventually righted itself.

And then I put yellow masking tape over the driver's side window button and didn't open my window again until the weather got better and I could fix it myself.

Yes, I could have taken it to my mechanic to get it fixed but then I'd have to explain about the Diet Coke emergency and why I also only had 1 working headlight.

And no wiper fluid.

I'm not completely irresponsible. I simply chose to only drive in rainstorms during daylight hours last winter - for the most part.

Speaking of wiper fluid.

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Did you know you can get wiper fluid in tablet form??!!

I just discovered them last week. They're blue tablets that dissolve in water. You just drop them in your wiper fluid tank, add water and you're done. You can buy a bag of 100 tablets, to make 100 gallons of wiper fluid for $12.

In Canada the wiper fluid tablets are more expensive at $32 for 100 of them.

O.K. back to the regularly scheduled post.

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This weekend afforded me the weather to fix all 3 things that needed to get done on my car. Refill the wiper fluid (so easy), replace both of my low beam headlights (ridiculously difficult and rage inducing, thank you so much to the wad of chewing gum that engineered the 2007), and take my car door apart so I could assess the guts.

Reasons for broken electric car window

1. Fuse
2. Faulty electrical wire
3. Burnt out motor
4. Window regulator
5. Window track is out of alignment

I could eliminate reasons 1-3 because the window had power and the motor was working. That meant it was either the window regulator, whatever the hell that was, or the window was just off its track.

After watching this Youtube video that showed me how to remove the interior panel of my car door and replace the regulator.

The Regulator Sliding Block, which sounds very, very important and expensive, I found out is actually a small square piece of plastic that holds the window arm in place. I first asked my mechanic if he had one to sell me but he did not, so I bought 10 of them on Amazon for $12.

Fixing the window involved removing the interior door panel, shoving the blue thing into a slot, popping the arm back in and putting the door back together.

Total cost, $12. Time to fix, 30 minutes.

Lessons learned?

1. I learned how to repair a power window.
2. I'd still rather live in a country with winter windows than summer scorpions.