To those of you who emailed ... Is it done? To those of you who asked ... Did it work? To those of you who commented ... Will we ever see it?
The answer is yes. I got butt implants, they totally worked and maybe a lucky few of you. Also I finished my hack of the Restoration Hardware Aspen Collection. Just in time to pack it away for winter!
I'm not going to interrupt your scrolling with too many words in this post.
Because the clumsiness of my words will only detract from the beauty of my hack.
Although I should mention I haven't actually finished the coffee table yet. I still need to chamfer the edges (I'm holding out until someone decides to give me a router and chamfering bit).
It is not a lightweight collection. Knowing I'd have to move it around eventually I decided to put it on casters. The only casters even remotely strong enough to support it were appliance casters. I wouldn't say it makes the sectional exactly slip across the backyard like a letter carrier on ice, but ... it can be done.
That chair there? I have relaxed in that chair. Not for long, but long enough to be able to claim I've relaxed in that chair.
There were more than a few hiccups along the way. Which could have been due to the wine now that I'm getting a good look at the whole picture.
The chair's seat and back are at what is considered the perfect sitting angle, 100 degrees. So the seat of the chair slopes towards the back a bit and the back is at a similar angle, making you feel cradled.
I wanted to have the same angles for the couch and built it that way until I realized that you can't have a sectional couch built like that because once you get to the corner your angles are going all sorts of different directions.
DAMN YOU MATH.
So I built the seat straight on the sectional and fiddled around with it by adding extra bits of lumber here and there to sort of fake an angle. More on that in a later post where I focus on how I actually built this thing.
Bread, olives and wine. The PERFECT snack ( if you replace the wine with Diet Coke).
The next step is to make or buy some sort of cover for the whole thing. A pergola is out of the question because that'll be just a bit too much going on in this little backyard of mine. My choices are either a couple of those sail cloths or one of those massive cantilevered umbrellas.
I might get a few weeks of sitting out here if the weather cooperates. And the butt implants.
MrsChris SA
WOW WOW WOW and again WOW
It is beautiful!! Well done you!!
billy sharpstick
All you need for a chamfer is a circular saw, or table saw. Clean it up with a belt sander or wire wheel on an angle grinder.
A router will make a nice "roundover", aka "quarter round". (Forget the 1/4" router. Spring for the 1/2". You'll be glad in the long run.)
Edith
Dang Karen....you did a great job on that. It's beautiful! I love how it blends with your area back there. Rustic but modern. I'm impressed!
Bev
You are a giant among women, and men. Your furniture is epic. It's your enthusiasm that is fun to watch. Bravo.
holly
It is simply beautiful, Karen. Great job! I knew it would be. Of course. Because it is done by Karen! I don't know how you do it. You have an extremely good eye regarding decorating. That is a true talent.
Enjoy!
Pam'a
Of *course* it looks amazing. But I won't consider it a success until/unless you actually sit your fanny down and relax on one of those pieces of furniture for at least an hour. [insert maniacal laughter]
Lucy Price-Murofushi
Why would a talented, beautiful woman even say that nasty word $&(( !?,)$@/;.
Well two words but you had better not. Aunt Lucy is horrified at what your generation is thinking of. We burned out bras for this? Say it isn't so.
nancy
I KNOW it!!! re: burning bras. And why do we have to shave anything to be "acceptable" and now people shave their genitals. They apologize before an exam "Oooh sorry, I haven't waxed/whatever they do to whatever they call their private parts". Seriously I don't care and who wants to have sexy time somebody that looks like an 8 year old anyway?
Oh, I'm a nurse, that's why I have to see all this. And I see CORSETS on Pinterest?? Women have never been more objectified than now, we have only gone backwards. All that work for nothing.
Carey
Wow, Karen, it looks amazing! You really can do anything you set your mind to. Very impressive!
Sherry in Alaska
Well, once again, you have triumphed! The yard is now officially, certifiably GRAND!
Sails would be my choice if you don't have lots of wind. Possibly just covering the furniture with tarps if you get much snow........?
In any case, you better schedule in some relaxing time for next summer.
Grammy
I expected it to be fabulous, but that is just the best! But don't try to pull the old "butt implants" trick on us. We've seen your butt and you didn't need any. Just please tell me you didn't get collagen lips. I can't stand collagen lips.
Regardless, I just showed my husband the furniture and he said, "Invite her here." And that has nothing to do with whether you may or may not have butt implants -- he wants you to make him some furniture.
Bonnie cramond
Ok. So, are you really human or are you from some planet of super women? I really wa T to know. I'm hoping it's the latter so I won't feel so incompetent and lazy.
Muff Hackett
Karen it looks absolutely wonderful! And perfect in your back garden - such a great idea and you have, as always, done it up right.
Beware the huge cantilevered umbrella thingy - I happened to be under one that decided to catch the wind and blow over (it was anchored - that didn't help) and damned near bought it - I've been terrified of them ever since.
Deana
I agree. Bought one, anchored it to our deck railing along with the heavy bottom on the umbrella and a few mornings later, there it was laying in our pool with the hunk of railing that ripped off with it. Never again a cantilevered umbrella.
Erica m
What did you use for the cushions?
Joann
Following….
Nice job
Molly Evans
SHUT UP! Awesome! You're always impressive, but this, THIS, this is epic! Well done, girl. Well done.
Linda in Illinois
My words exactly !! Well done Karen !!
Lynn
Beautiful is what comes to mind. As for sails or umbrella there are upsides an downsides to both . You just need to figure out if you need the mobility of a umbrella, or the stability of the sails. Either way you rock it Karen you have a fabulous yard .
Bobbles
Fabulous! Really big, so I thought I wouldn't like it but I do! My deck is just waiting for delivery!
Laura
I knew it would look great. It does! It really does. And inviting and comfortable and like a lot of love and sweat went into the construction of it all. Pretty cool, Karen.
Sue
This is reallocate quite awesome!
Sue
That should be "really quite . . ."! Damn!
Jeannieb
Really beautiful Karen. Let's hope the weather holds.
Monika
OMG! You did it! And it's fabulous. Massive, but fabulous. It looks so good.... I'm green with envy. You rock, Karen! I hope you do get to relax in it before packing it away. And I highly recommend two triangular sail cloth thingies from Costco. They were $20 here in the US this summer and they are wonderfully effective. Great job!
Ronda
Ikea also has sail cloths. They're what I'm planning for our patio. 4 4x4 posts "planted" in some great black square planters from Loew's. Should do the trick!
Mary W
What she said!
Brenda
Lee Valley has them in differing size and shapes too. Voting for sail cloths wherever to get them - knowing you though you might get one boob job done (so you can keep your better side and have a funny side) and make them yourself <- the sail clothes.