This is how it usually goes when I buy hydrangeas:
I’m at the grocery store for the sole purpose of buying 1% milk. I need this milk because I can’t go to bed unless I’ve had my glass of milk and exactly 2 ginger snap cookies, whether I’m hungry or not. This is because I’m probably crazy. I mean, I’m not positive, but I’m pretty sure. I’m O.K. with it because this particular type of crazy is also the thing that ensures we never run out of toilet paper and that I know the exact location of my Scrabble board is at all times.
20 minutes and $150 later, I leave my half full grocery cart with the cashier who just checked me through so I can run back and get the 1% milk.
On the way out of the grocery store I exit by the flower department. I could take the shorter route out of the store via the coffee bar but it’s filled with highschool girls admiring each others belly rolls. They appear to be involved in some sort of slut-off and I don’t want to interfere.
Whoever isn’t telling Mariah Carey she looks like a jackass, also isn’t telling these girls the same thing.
I make my way through the flower department without incident until I see the huge bucket of hydrangeas. A great, big, huge bucket overflowing with huge soft heads of hydrangea petals. So of course I buy a couple of bunches.
I do this even though I know within 2 hours of bringing them home, anywhere from one to all of them will wilt and die.
I will then curse my stupidity (and maybe the outfits on those girls once more) and throw them out vowing to never, EVER buy hydrangeas again. Never, will I ever buy another hydrangea.
This scenario happened to me about once a month for 10 years.
Then I discovered a solution that actually works. It’s a tip I’ve used over and over for the past few years without one single failure. So if you too have an issue with a wilted, sorry-ass hydrangea follow this advice:
1. Get the kettle boiling.
2. Fill a heat resistant cup with boiling water.
3. Wrap paper towels around the stem of the hydrangea to protect the flower from the hot steam.
4. Cut about an inch off the end of the stem. A sharp knife is better than the scissors I’m recklessly using because a knife doesn’t squish the stem.
5. Immediatley put the freshly cut stem into the cup of hot water. Let it sit for as long as it takes for the flower to refresh.
My wilted hydrangea after 1/2 hour in hot water.
My hydrangea after 3 hours in hot water.
It works EVERY time. I mean, obviously if you’ve had the flowers for 2 weeks and they’ve lived a good long life you should just allow them to die a dignified death of natural causes. But if you bring them home and they wilt within the first few days, try sitting them in hot water. If you do everything I say you’ll be more than happy with the results.
Come to think of it, if the highschool girls keep dressing like they do, they may also find themselves in hot water.