I'm Danish. I've always been Danish, I'll always be Danish, I look Danish, speak 4 Danish words and part of my general knowledge includes knowing that Viggo Mortensen and 1980's supermodel Helena Christensen are Danish. So. Clearly. Danish. The only problem is, as it turns out ... I'm Irish. IRISH.
In 2016 I got my mother and myself one of those DNA tests for Christmas to find out if we were Jewish. There's a long kept secret in our family and no one knows what it is. Based on a name change, some rather sketchy word of mouth rumours involving a mercantile, a whisper and a generations-ago cosmetic surgery, several of us thought this secret was that we were Jewish.
That's the sort of thing people used to have to keep secret in order to stay alive, so those kinds of secrets are taken quite seriously and they tend to stay secret long past the need for it.
So when I sent in my spit to be analyzed I was fully prepared and excited to embrace my new Jewessness. L'chaim! Most of my high school friends were Jewish so I know the customs, I've been to plenty of Shabbat dinners and have the whole back of throat "Ch" sound in Challah and Chanukah down pat.
Jewish. That's me! And Danish of course, but that's from my father's side and we all know he was 100% Danish, making me 50% Danish as evidenced in my ability to make Klejner, Danish Christmas cookies and my uncanny resemblance to It was the other 50% that we were all unsure about.
The 23andME test results came back and as soon as I checked whether or not I was likely to die from some rare and incurable disease (I'm not) I barely glanced at my ancestry other than to see if we were indeed Jewish. We were not. Booooo. I don't give a care, I'm still going to eat latkes. Then a few weeks ago for some reason I went back in and looked at some of the DNA results more closely.
The things they predicted about me based only on my DNA were impressive. They had no pictures, no history, no nothin', other than my dancing little chromosomes passed down from generation to generation.
For instance, I am more likely, according to my DNA, to be a sprinter rather than a distance runner. Pfttt. No kidding. I'm basically Hussein Bolt. Everybody knows that.
Here I am taking a much deserved break from watching someone else exercise.
Also, according to 23 & me:
I am likely to have blond hair.
I am likely to have blue eyes.
I am likely to have straighter than average hair.
I'm likely to have wet ear wax. ( Um. O.K. )
I am likely to consume more coffee than the average person. (3-4 cups a day?)
And ... I have an average sensitivity to the odour of sweat.
Allllll true.
If you're now clamouring to get a 23&Me spit kit I have an affiliate link.
I clicked on my circle of ancestry that tells you what percentage of you is from what country and ... I had to do a double take. According to the percentages ... I was ... I was Irish.
Or British of some sort. London or Manchester England most likely.
UPDATE: I just checked my results again in 2023 and I am still Irish. But now things look like they're leaning more into the England territory. I think.
It's entirely possible I'm not reading this thing right, but it's looking like I'm more British & Irish than anything else. Which is making me feel a bit off kilter.
What with me being Danish and all.
I never knew much about my maternal ancestry. When I was growing up whenever I asked my mother what nationality her side of the family was she'd always answer with "I don't know ... we're just Canadian. Now go play with your potato."
This gave me the slight hope that by "Canadian" she meant that we had a long ancestral history going back to the First Nations. Like maybe we were Micmac. Or Metis or Mohawk.
Which, wouldn't explain my love of Challah but would explain my love of beaded suede.
But according to my mother's side of DNA I wasn't First Nations, I was 29.3% British and Irish. This whole maternal Irish thing has since been confirmed by my Uncles Conor, Seamus and Padraig. You'd think one of them would have mentioned something about our being Irish it at one of our monthly Irish Stew and Soda bread dinners over the years.
Just kidding. Kind of. It has been confirmed through other more "ancestry interested" relatives that my mother's side of the family is indeed Irish. How she never knew that, I have no idea. Maybe she was thrown by the fact that none of us were born with Irish accents.
I wish I understood these DNA results a little more than I do, but from the look of it ... yeah ... Kiss me. I'm Irish? But maybe from London.
Since I'm relatively new to this whole Irish thing feel free to make any recommendations on this, my 7th St. Paddy's day as an Irish person. See? I've even learned that it's "St. Paddy's", not St. Patty's.
I'm basically the most Irish person ever born who for some reason has an above average command of cooking Danish Christmas cookies.
omg. this explains so much about my relationship with potatoes.
Gail Lawlor
After a wonderful visit to Ireland last fall, I learned that with the very high Ireland emmigration to all parts of the world, the Irish like to say - "There is a little bit of Irish in everyone !! " They were also baffled by our Cdn love of St. Paddy's day - we celebrate more heartedly than they do on the Green Isle.
Janet
Just sent for my "Spit Kit". I've been playing around on a genealogy site and am totally confused. Maybe this will help. Thanks!
Lorraine
These days, I can identify as being Irish and voila...I am Irish.
Question...are the 4 Danish words you know naughty words? Today is my son's 40th birthday. Happy birthday to him and Happy St. Paddy's day to your followers.
Karen
They're food related, lol. ~ karen!
susan MacIsaac
Congradulations on your Irishness. Welcome to the Clan. I've heard of issues with 23 & me, I would try ancestry.coms test. It's used by finding your roots and seems very accurate. It can pretty much pin pointing where you come from.
Millie
Sounds familiar..my husband grew up thinking they were Irish. Turns out they’re 3/4 Scotch. I know, tomato tomahto. He never baked Irish cookies so nothing lost. P.S. love that photo of you on the grass. Looks like you were knocked down and in your shock looking for the perp before bothering to get up.
Jan in Waterdown
3/4 Scotch?? Omg that’s a helluva lot o’ whisky!!
Sandra
She has your eyes lol
Holly
Lol!
Vikki
Zing! That was great!
Jan in Waterdown
SNORT!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣👍
renee pearman
When I was 40, I found out my mother's side was Irish and my immediate reaction was, "IRISH???!! I don't want to be Irish, I want to be Scottish!" Aside from the fact that my maternal grandmother was named Mary, and my mother was named Katherine, there was no mention of or pride in being such; the boys were named Clifton, Kermit, Daniel and Texas. And that may have been the 'family secret' for both of us. The persecution against the Irish in the US was ferocious. There's word that there were even Irish slaves in the deep South.....?
Susan MacIsaac
If you watch the episode of finding your roots with Jane Lynch and Jim Gaffeghan the whole issue of Irish American (and Canadian as both countries were being settled by the British) is brought to light. Also from family history, many were indentured slaves who could after many many years pay off their servitude. But wages were so low that they were often elderly before that happened.
A Ann Brookens
There were a LOT of indentured Irish, either forced or voluntarily signed, agreeing to be servants for a certain number of years in exchange for passage to America, plus room and board. Unlike slaves, they were NOT property, but, while bound by a legal contract, were protected from gross mistreatment and guaranteed freedom in a few years.
JennieLou
You know, the Danes were Vikings too, and were the predominate attackers of Britain. It was mostly Norwegians who attacked Ireland, but they all brought back slaves from the two islands. Maybe that's where your gene pool started?
Warren
The Irish say they could look at workers digging up potatoes in a field and know which of them were Catholic. The claim was that the Catholics put their left foot on the spade, and so were known as "left footers". My mother's family were from Munster, never ever grew pratties.
Marilyn Meagher
I too had my dna done. I started out 86% Irish but with the discovery of more new relatives it has now jumped to 98%! I wasn’t the least bit surprised. Nor was I surprised when it said I had the muscle composition of an élite athlete! Smirk.
Ann
My those Celts got around! Wait...wait... so did those Vikings!
Karen
I definitely put the blame on the Vikings for this one. ~ karen!
KimW
Irish may SORT OF be connected to Danish if you think about it - because Dublin was founded by Vikings. For real.
(Also, the "Ch" sound is in Irish Gaelic, fun fact!)
Karen
Yesssss, it was the marauders. ~ karen!
Lynne
LOLOL....you are Hilarious as well as Scandi-Irish!
Marsha
I’m Danish as well. However, my ancestry test was insisting that I was Norwegian. They were wrong after a year, so they finally started getting into the Danish part.
Jill
Does "They were wrong after a year, so they finally started getting into the Danish part" mean that 23 and me or ancestry sites update their results as time goes on?
Arli
I don’t know about 23, but Ancestry updates their results often. I guess depending on more and more info in their data base to compare dna to. Whether or not I’m part English has varied wildly through the years.
Jill
Oh how interesting. Do you have to pay for a subscription to get the updates or when you pay the first time they'll keep updating you?
Karen
They do. They constantly update the information. ~ karen!
Karen
Yes, it'll constantly change as new info comes in.~ karen!
K. Olson
Same thing for us: we Olson girls were, ya’ know, Olaf’s son’s daughters, so we were 50% Svenska. ya think? Turns out, our forebears (wait, there were four bears?) were a marauding lot who spent some time down in those Isles where the wools were woven in plaids and the bonny lasses often had very rosy cheeks. And those northern men sired offspring who sired offspring who …….a and they found their way back to their northern lands with a lot less Swedish than British Isles genetic material…
My sister did her DNA test years before I did, so I was actually forewarned, but still, I thought, maybe her company got it wrong…tho, when you look at what stances my Swedish ancestors took when it came to settling refugees from Eastern Europe, I am not disappointed to lose some of the connection.
Karen
Yes, we figure that's what happened. I'm happy to have the potato connection. ~ karen!
Lynn
Before DNA tests I realized that as humans we have big tendency to forget foremost we all are of the human race. There for we are related to all humans, yet we all try so hard for some reason to forget this fact.
We are the only race that does. Other mammals don’t, never saw a different mammal ( animal care if a different coloured version or sound differently or ate different foods) no talking behind paws, lifting noses or trunks or what have you. If we were more like our animal mammals we would have more peace in the world.
Sandra
I've always thought that, too. Watch a field of cows; all black, with one white one - nothing goes on; the white cow pushed to the edge of the fence; everyone just knows it's another cow.
Sandra
DIDN'T get pushed to the edge..... sheesh, read before hitting enter (saying to self)!
Sandra
DOESN'T (omg; I'm quitting)
Karen
You're drunk. ~ karen!
Karen
True! Except we'd regularly eat each other. And our weak children. So there's that. ~ karen!
Ritz
Evidently you come from funny people. And that's how you got to be so funny, and you're 100% of that. Thanks, Karen for the laughs!
Karen
Yes, some of us are funny now that you mention it, all hailing from the sarcastic clan. ~ karen!
Lynn
Your family story may be similar to mine, meaning almost unbelievable. The story begins with a laird who had 2 daughters and no sons. Times were tough so everybody worked including the girls. Their job was to row out to a nearby island, milk the cows, and row back twice a day. One day a storm came up and they blew out to sea. A Norwegian fishing vessel picked them up and headed home, a small island on the west coast of Norway. The laird received a letter months later saying, in effect, we are alive but we are married and staying here. By the way you are soon to be a grandpa. The laird was very unhappy and put his land into a trust for 100 years so his daughters immediate family couldn't profit from the young women's disobedience. One hundred years, in the 1980's, my grandmother got a joint letter from the English and Norwegian government announcing they had some land for her if she could prove she was a descendant. Most old churches in Norway were made of wood including the church on the very small island Grandma was from. It burnt to the ground in the early 1900s. No proof, no land for us, but the letter is a wonderful keepsake. :-)
jane
Quick, someone get the rights and turn this into a movie script!
Karen
Wow! I had no idea such a thing could even happen! ~ karen
Randy P
I REFUSE to make a childish reference to your Erin-Go-Bra... or any other intimate clothing for that matter. Also I wonder if you'd get similar results from a competing DNA outfit? I know exactly from what parts of Poland my Maternal and Paternal side originated. But our USA roots go back to the 1870's in Chicago so though 'raised' Polish Roman Catholic, I tend to claim more authentic Chicagoan with no religious beliefs. But it IS good to know your roots if you're going to know yourself. Fun stuff.
SUSAN E COADY-BUTLER
Well of course you are Irish....creative, good sense of humor, spicy language, brilliant....I'm surprised you didn't know. Happy St Paddy's Day to you and your whole damn latke eating clan!!
Karen
Thank you! I spent the day getting the dog professionally groomed and then working. I don't think that's what the organizers of this holiday had in mind.😆 ~ karen!