My Halloween Pumpkins Part II

Every year around this time I start convincing myself I’m not going to carve a stupid elaborate, time consuming pumpkin.  This facade usually lasts until around 3 hours before trick or treaters arrive, at which point I swear a few times, grab my pumpkin carving tools and pull an Edward Scissorhands.

But this year … it’s true.  I’m NOT going to carve an elaborate pumpkin.  I may even go with something as simple as the traditional triangle eyes and wide grin.  I have a lot of things going on this coming weekend, and I just don’t think carving a pumpkin for 3 hours is gonna be possible.

At the same time, I, being as ego driven as the next pumpkin carver, want to hear at least a little oooing and awwwwing from the front porch.

So, as much as I’d like to think I won’t do anything more than a typical Jack-o-Lantern … I’ll probably end up doing something like this.

My pumpkins from 2007.  Another year when I was in a bit of a rush.

There’s a little bit of sculpting with these pumpkins, but not so much that the thought of doing it makes me angry.  It’s the stupidest thing really, because I love to carve pumpkins.

The issue is that pumpkins are like my hair.  I never know how it’s going to turn out, so until everything’s done and perfect there’s a lot of anxiety.  And head sweat.



I adapted these pumpkins from a design I saw on the Internet. Years ago. On some site. Don’t ask me which one. If they’re your pumpkins lemme know and I’ll be sure to credit you.

Just so long as you come over and do my pumpkins for me this year. Or make my step-son’s mummy costume.   Or rake the neighbourhood leaves that only year after year fall ONLY on my lawn. OH OH OH!!!  Or hand out the CANDY!

I’d rather eat a bowl of scabs than hand out Halloween candy.   Come to think of it, if I handed out the bowl of scabs, I might kill 2 birds with one stone.  Get rid of the bowl of scabs, plus cut down on the number of kids who come  trick or treating at the house.   O.K. that’s a slight exaggeration but I really don’t like handing out candy very much.

So, to the person who’s pumpkin design I pilfered,  there you have it … your choice.

Personally I’d go with the leaf raking.  Unless you’re afraid of giant, jumping spiders.  Which to all the neighbourhood children reading this post … my yard is filled with.  Filthy with giant, jumping spiders.  Heh heh.

For more pumpkins see “My Halloween Pumpkins Part I


  1. My relatives all the time say that I am killing my time
    here at web, except I know I am getting experience daily by reading
    such fastidious articles.

  2. Personally, and given your distaste for handing out candy, I truly believe you should stick the candy inside Jack’s mouth. Put a big sign with an arrow that says “Candy” just above their mouths, and video tape the reactions of kids and their parents having to reach inside. I would love to see that as a follow up post. Pretty please?



    • Elise says:

      Love that idea! I think I may have to try that one as well… and maybe leave some extra guts in there just for giggles. But knowing some of these kids, we may wake up with a tp-ed house.

  3. Rebecca says:

    If you hate handing out Halloween candy, giving the kids full-size chocolate bars is not the way to get rid of them. Knowing you do that, I’d visit your house myself if I had your address. And if Texas and Canada were closer. :/ (Oh, and nice gourds.)

  4. deborahinPS says:

    Love the back molars on the pumpkin :)

  5. Alisha says:

    Bowl of scabs … HAH! I think my face scrunched up inside itself.

  6. Natalie says:

    Oooooooo I like the little pumpkins next to and inside the blind, canibalistic large pumpkin. Is that wrong?

  7. Korrine says:

    i don’t know how to spell the barfing noise, but “eat a bowl of scabs” deserves it.

  8. Liz S. says:

    A couple of years ago my husband’s little brother came to spend Halloween. He was so excited because I told him he could carve whatever he wanted. Classic teenage boy carved a puking pumpkin. It was rather entertaining. Only problem was I forgot to place his pumpkin on a tray of some sort, so it was completely disgusting to clean up and it was full of bugs. Yuck!

    • Karen says:

      LOL. I did the throwing up pumpkin years ago and I had the EXACT same problem. Sliding and sticking to my porch post. Dried pumpkin is like crazy glue! ~ karen

  9. Liz says:

    I love love love these pumpkins.

    I’m going to copy them and you can’t stop me. Unless you fancy hopping a plane to the UK. Then you could easily stop me. But we could also have tea.

    • Karen says:

      I could stop you if I *really* wanted. I’m not exactly sure how but it would involve a knitting needle, an elastic band and some trick luggage. As it turns out, I’d prefer tea. Ginger please.

      • Liz says:

        Ooooh, the evil pop-up stabby knitting needle to the face trick. You are so crafty. But you should know that if i receive a mystery suitcase in the post, i won’t be opening it.

  10. OK, these are pretty cool! I like the pumpkin eating baby pumpkin. Poor baby pumpkin :(

  11. Fifi says:

    OMG. Your 2007 pumpkin idea came to ME last week. I thought I was a genious! So I’m not original… I plan to just Sharpie the faces on the little pumpkins, though. I’m kinda lazy.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Art of Doing Stuff