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Broccoli Soup & The Hairy Soap

Last night my boyfriend asked me go grab him a bar of soap before he jumped into the shower.   Apparently he couldn’t get it himself because he was naked and didn’t want to go wandering around the house with the blinds open whilst naked.

I don’t know why not.  He does it all the time.  Men, I’m convinced would grocery shop, mow the lawn and change their oil naked if they thought it wouldn’t involve a trip to the local police station afterwards.   And whether they have a good body or not has absolutely no bearing on their decision to prance around naked.  Where women have disproportionately poor body images, men have equally disproportionate inflated body images.

This gut?  This one here?  Show’s I’m determined!  And that I always clean my plate.  And my beer bottle.    And  more importantly, I’m ready to dress up as the always hilarious pregnant nun at any given moment.  Besides.  ”Outie’s” are sexy.

What does this have to do with broccoli soup?  Nothing. But it’s a good story.

So I then asked my fella why he couldn’t use the soap that was already in the shower?  He picked up the 3 largeish slivers or soap from the soap dish and proclaimed “I do not use slivers!” before dramatically throwing them into the hair filled garbage can with a flourish.

It was at that point I informed the fellow that we didn’t have any more bars of soap.

So he had to fish the soap out of the worst, most disgusting garbage in the house. The bathroom garbage.  I felt kind of bad for him.  It definitely took the wind out of his sails having to bathe with soap filled with ick.

The moral of this story?  Don’t read a broccoli soup recipe expecting to hear a story about broccoli soup.

What you can expect, however, is … eventually … a broccoli soup recipe.  This one’s perfect for a quick meal.  There’s no measuring, very few ingredients and it only takes about 15 minutes from beginning to end.

No Measure Broccoli Soup

Ingredients

1 bunch of broccoli

1 box of chicken broth (can use vegetable broth for you vegetarian types)

Salt & Pepper

Garlic Croutons

Cheddar Cheese (optional)

Half & half Cream (optional)

 

Get your broccoli …

 

 

Get your broth …

 

Put your box of broth in a pot and get it boiling.

Cut your broccoli up into bits.

Reserve some bits to add to the soup later.

Below are my “later” bits.  I’ve cut them smaller than the rest of the broccoli which I’m going to make the soup out of.

Cook the “later” bits in the microwave for a couple of minutes, or steam them.  They’ll be added to the soup after it’s blended.

If you don’t like “bits” of stuff in your blended soup, skip this step.

 

Add your broccoli to your boiling broth. (Not your later bits, the bigger bits)

Throw in some salt and pepper.  (no salt if your broth is already full of it)

 

When your broccoli is soft (not firm at all) drain the liquid.

 

Put your broccoli in a blender and blend away.

If you only have an immersion blender that’s fine. Use it.

If you only have a potato masher, you’re probably going to want to invest in an immersion blender.

 

Little by little add the broth that you drained until the soup is the consistency you want.

If you added the liquid in at the same time as the broccoli and blended it you might end up with too runny of a soup.  Then your life would be ruined and you might even take to eating something like processed cheese and bread sticks for dinner instead.  Which would be bad.  Well … on a regular basis it’s bad.

 

If you like cream in your soup (I do but didn’t add any in this particular soup on this particular day) now is the time to add it.  Pour in a 1/4  or so and give the soup a stir.  If you want more add more.  Simple as that.  Isn’t this easy?

If you’re one of the ones out there who likes “bits” in their soup, add them to the blender now.  Do not blend afterwards.  Dummy. Then you’d lose your bits.

 

Shred a little cheddar cheese and put it in the bottom of a bowl.

Pour the hot broccoli soup on top.

 

Top with garlic croutons and enjoy.

 

And don’t forget to pick up soap.


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62 Comments | Filed Under: Kitchen | Tags: ,

62 Responses to Broccoli Soup & The Hairy Soap

  1. Jennifer says:

    I am right there with ya on the nakedness and the no-sliver users, and I loved your sly dissing of the potato masher. But I can never, never eat broccoli soup again without thinking there’s hair in it. Thanks.

    • Karen says:

      Sorry ’bout that. :/ ~ karen

      • Marti says:

        No worries… I’ll try this potato soup this week… while Jennifer is trying the cauliflower pizza recipe. Have you tried that, Karen? I know it doesn’t look nearly as good as regular pizza, but I have a friend who is GF and I’m starting to feel guilty about enjoying life so much.

        • Marti says:

          Potato? I meant broccoli. No potato soup. Blech. Half a step above baby food, potato soup. Sigh. You should delete BOTH these comments.

          • Karen says:

            You’re drunk aren’t you Marti? ~ karen

            • Marti says:

              I just got back from three weeks with my mother. What do YOU think?

              (No, but I am very tired… I was waiting up to see your Monday post.)

              • Marti says:

                Yep, this was great… lots better than that overly creamy-cheesy stuff that most people make.

                So I added a couple of tablespoons of lemon. Have you tried that, Karen? You might try that sometime… not enough to notice but maybe just “brighten” the fresh-flavor?

                • Karen says:

                  Excellent. Was this the first time you made this one? I had it last night! I love it ’cause it’s so fast and easy but tastes great. Croutons make it. Lemon would probably be great in it. Mind you I think most things are better with a bit of lemon or lime. Best steak sauce ever? Mayonnaise with a huge squeeze of lime in it and some lime zest. Really good with leftover cold steak. Pumpkin soup recipe coming up once my Kabocha squash are ripe in a month or so. ~ karen!

  2. Denise says:

    You’re right on about men. I try to enjoy the view without feeling like a *complete* pervert. ;-)

    That broccoli soup looks yum, but not with hairy soap, please. :-)

  3. liz says:

    Nom nom nom. I like a little bit of roasted garlic in there too.

  4. You had me at no measure! That’s my kind of cooking, baby! You had me laughing out loud on the big belly men part–so true.

  5. Teresa says:

    Absolutely wonderful write ~ the soup recipe is wonderful too!

  6. Jen says:

    I don’t use bar soap, but my husband does- to solve the sliver problem, he presses the sliver into the new bar. Tadaa! No waste, and no slivers. Hairy soap made me shiver!

  7. stephanie says:

    I find the broccoli soup more disgusting than the hairy soap….just sayin’

  8. jenn b says:

    Thank you very much for the easy recipe; and for not closing your blinds ~~ ;)

  9. Kristen says:

    My guy won’t use soap slivers either and it drives me crazy! That is still soap, it’s soap till it’s gone but no. He gets down to a sliver and he needs a new bar too. He’s been lucky though he’s not gotten to the point that he doesn’t have another bar waiting when he creates a soap sliver yet. Maybe though I should just hide the soap till he uses all that he has.

  10. Amanda says:

    Found your blog from reading Centsational Girl and I am SO glad I did!! You make me laugh! Love the hairy soap story!

  11. Paulina J! says:

    I came accross something yesterday and you reminded me of it as soon as you mentioned soap slivers. If your fella likes to use a sponge this would be the perfect solution:

    http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/25-bathroom-organizers#slide_12

    I started liking broccoli within the past three years, so I’ll be making this soup soon :)

    • Karen says:

      Paulina! That’s a great idea if it works! Thanks for the link! He doesn’t use a sponge, but I’ll be going out to buy one immediately. So by tonight … he will. :) ~ karen

  12. Erika says:

    Hi Karen! LOVE, love your site! I’ve sent the link to two friends, one relative, and a client so far. :)

    What is UP with the male nakedness thing, anyway? Can’t drive down the street around here without some shirtless man hoving into view, generally with severely-less-than-perfect physiques. Why do they think we want to see all that?

    • Karen says:

      Hi Erika. Thanks for passing my site along! I appreciate every single forwarding of it. :) And I don’t know what the deal with men and nakedness is. I think it goes back to caveman days though. ~ karen

  13. Mindy says:

    Stick those slivers of soap in an old nylon and tie it next to your hose outside. :o) Not the hairy ones though. Grosser than gross.

    I saw a quote today and thought of you:

    “Regard it as just as desirable to build a chicken house as to build a cathedral.”

    ~Frank Lloyd Wright

  14. joanne says:

    Whoa… yesterday was a picture of the fella coming out of the surf… he could’ve been nekid for all we know… and today you’re talking about him nekid. Whazzup with that? I’m drooling all over my keyboard, and the tech guys are going to start to wonder!

    • Karen says:

      Joanne – I know. I didn’t mean to do this. It just happened. No more naked fella references. I promise. ~ karen

  15. Lydia says:

    No pictures of naked dude picking up hairy soap? Whatever. This blog is going downhill!
    Soup looks yummy, I made your “ies” last week and took pictures – and linked to you (trying to be a good doobie blogger) :-)

    • Karen says:

      Lydia – How’d the ies turn out? I know when we make them they seem to turn out a bit different every time! Depends on the dates I think. ~ karen

  16. Lydia says:

    Sooo good. Although I forgot that dates had pits until I almost blew out the motor of my food processor :-/

  17. Mr. Pickles says:

    Mr. Pickles makes a very similar soup (sans hairy soap) but instead of cream, I add three potatoes and one coarsly chopped onion while boiling the broth. When potatoes are almost tender, I add broccoli and cook that until tender too and then blend with an immersion blender. Voila – quick, easy, vegan “cream” of broccoli soup that I then immediately ruin ALL nutritional value by adding far too much cheddar cheese to.

    • Karen says:

      Mr. Pickles – When I’m feeling fancy and energetic I add the sauteed onions too. Adds a lot to the soup. This is a quick and dirty (literally) version. :) For a cat, you know a great deal about cooking. Vegan cooking at that. ~ karen

  18. marné says:

    Ack! Hairy soap is one of my most-hated things!

    Broccoli soup, however, sounds delicious and easy. I’m glad you ended on that high note. And my immersion blender is far superior to my potato masher, you are totally right about that.

  19. Great recipe, thanks Karen.

  20. karen says:

    soap slivers are the awesomest for marking things you need to mark on fabric, especially when cutting something out to sew. win win.

  21. Amy in StL says:

    My dad won’t use a bar of soap once it’s about half gone. It always drove my mom nuts so she started to make her own soap out of the slivers by cooking down the slivers with water. Just make bars out of them, we discovered the balls are kind of slippery when wet. Ha! Seriously, though.

  22. Jenn says:

    You can substitute greek yogurt for the half-n-half. Yumm!

  23. marilyn says:

    ok i would be more than happy to personally deliver several bars of soap to said male specimen and possible enjoy a bowl of soup whilst there! we can’t have him using hairy soap now can we? just saying..

    • Karen says:

      Marilyn – LOL. I have lots of soup left. I’m not willing to share the other thing thing. Not unless you have a really good Peony specimen or something. Maybe then we could do some sort of tradesies. ~ k

  24. kellie says:

    Hey karen,
    Its the total opposite at my house. I am the one who prances around naked. I figure if the neighbors look, they will be so disgusted, throw-up in their mouths and will never,NEVER look again. So, its a one time thing and problem solved.

    Thanks,

    Kellie

  25. Mr. Pickles says:

    Mr. Pickles knows his way around the kitchen. Some of his vegan/vegetarian recipes can be found on a good friend’s (*cough* one “band-y” kind of guy) blog: lifeandleaf.com

  26. Meg says:

    Even though it is around 110 degrees today, I am an oddball in that I love hot food in the summer and cold things to eat in the winter. Ice cream in the summer? Nope. I love it when it’s cold outside. So this soup is perfect right now! Thanks.

  27. Missnicoleo says:

    ok, seriously, are you looking at my google searches? just yesterday I was looking for a simple broccoli soup, none of them rocked. Then you came along.

    • Karen says:

      Yup. Here I am. Mr. Pickles is right by the way, sauteed onions also make this soup great. This version is the most simplified yet tasty version of my broccoli soup. ~ karen!

  28. gf says:

    akk!

    When I quickly read the title I thought it said: “Broccoli Soap & The Hairy Soup” Which sounds like a book my daughter (second grade) would read.

    Thanks for another funny post.

  29. Pam'a says:

    I think “Why do men think we want to see that?” is the wrong question to ask. A better one, IMHO, is “Why do women think men give a crap whether we want to see it or not?” In other words, they’re oblivious, they don’t care, and they do it because it feels good. If you’ve never bared your chest outdoors, you should try it at least once. Probably not at the mall, though.

    Oh. This was a post about SOUP. I forgot. It looks divinely simple and delicious, Karen! As always!

  30. Evie says:

    Hilarious!! I thought my hubby was the only one who refuses to get a new bar of soap while naked and the blinds are open. Never did understand that “can’t use soap slivers” thing either, but I’m glad to hear he isn’t the only one! : )

  31. Diane says:

    I’ll be making this next week…only cause you missed my grocery day with this entry. Shame on you! :P

    Men…nakedness…umm, yes that’s horrible to think of…lol

  32. Sara says:

    Mmm…preggers here…so broccoli is a banned food because of the smell for at least another five months. Also, Karen, I know you said you were just doing a quick and dirty recipe here, but two words for you…homemade stock. It’s will change your life forever! Not trying to be a food snob (I’m generally not), but stock is just one of those things that needs to taste like Grandma made it, and I just can’t seem to find that full flavor in any of the commercial varieties. Lastly, many years ago my hubby started using my gel soap. Now he refuses to use a bar.

    • Karen says:

      Sara – Oh, you don’t need to convince me. I make my own homemade stock all the time, (beef gelee and chicken) but because broccoli is so strong I don’t waste it in broccoli soup. You can’t taste the difference when you use homemade or store bought in broccoli soup. I find it makes a big difference in potato soup and of course gravy. Also, this was intended as a simple, simple recipe. If you don’t have homemade stock on hand … not so simple. :) ~ karen!

  33. Ana says:

    Any ideas on what to do with those slivers? I thought if I squeezed them together enough, they would bond and magically transform into a whole new soap! But they just fall apart. Other than a Tyler Durden-esque romp in the kitchen, what can I do with them?

    • Karen says:

      Hey Ana – There are a few ideas in the comment section including a link to a Martha Stewart idea! ~ karen

  34. Sam says:

    Just finished making this – so delicious, yet very easy to make, that I had to post immediately to give thanks for sharing this recipe. Also, that grated cheese on the bottom thing? I’ve never even thought of doing this before, but I love the way a simple hidden garnish makes this recipe extra special. You rock, Karen!

  35. Nathalie says:

    Hi Karen,

    I will definitely be making the hairless broccoli soup. Right up my alley.

    BTW I found a way to deal with my slivers of soap. I make my own liquid soap using this recipe.

    http://www.savvyhousekeeping.com/how-to-turn-a-bar-of-soap-into-liquid-hand-soap/

  36. Liz S. says:

    I made this soup last night and it is yummy!

  37. Tricia Rose says:

    Another reason to love Pears soap, when the bar is just a slender oval, press it into the dimple on the new bar and they magically fuse. It means I have been using the same bar of soap since 2001.

    We both wander around naked all the time, I just take my glasses off. Being is more important than self-consciousness.

  38. Sherry says:

    Okay I’m just gonna say it… I don’t like the links on the side… I’m like a cat chasing its tale. I had a few blog posts to catch up on and I am finding the side bar soooooooo distracting and now I am completely lost in the ‘Karen’ maze. HELP, I’m lost in a world of soup!!!!!! or soap!!!! I don’t know where I am!!! I like it on the bottom…(well not all the time… :) but the links were something to look forward to not to distract me. :(

  39. Marti says:

    Yep, today was the first time for this soup. I have never liked the whole “cheese-y thick paste with broccoli” thing… and those big packs of broccoli at my favorite store (Costco) were too much for me, so I’d stopped eating it. So this soup was a break-through. The second bowl was “no” to the cheese, but I think I could very happily go for homemade croutons.

    The pumpkin soup is the one I’ve been waiting for, yes? :) Definitely timing it right.

  40. Jana says:

    Dear God Karen……

    I am aware of the seasonedness (not a real word but it should be) aka: age of this broccoli soup post however serendipitously it caught my eye today and thank god for my ADD as I was reading another post by you when this beauty caught my attention or I never would have seen it…..

    Haven’t even made it thru the entire article yet but seeings as how the mental picture in the first part of it literally brought me to hysterical tears, I felt the need to thank you for brightening my day and burning into my minds eye the below listed painted picture:

    “He picked up the 3 largeish slivers or soap from the soap dish and proclaimed “I do not use slivers!” before dramatically throwing them into the hair filled garbage can with a flourish.

    It was at that point I informed the fellow that we didn’t have any more bars of soap.

    So he had to fish the soap out of the worst, most disgusting garbage in the house. The bathroom garbage. I felt kind of bad for him. It definitely took the wind out of his sails having to bathe with soap filled with ick.”

    ^^ I’m still hysterically laughing….

    Thanks! hahahahahaah!

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