Experiment!
Opening a Bottle of Wine with a Tree Trunk
A certain YouTube video was recently brought to my attention by The Art of Doing Stuff fan, Jenn.
The video depicts a distinguished French gentleman dressed in his fancy dress up clothes, with his fancy accent, standing beside his fancy car. Mr. Fancy Pants then proceeds to show us how we can easily and in quite a poised manner, open a bottle of wine by sticking it in a shoe and smashing it against a tree.
This I assume is for people who have recently stolen a bottle of wine and didn’t have time to steal a corkscrew as well. I suppose perhaps, it could also be for the people who are on their 3rd or 4th bottle of wine and just can’t identify a corkscrew anymore.
Either way, I was fascinated with this video. The ease! The quickness! The grace with which one can open a bottle of wine with a stinky old shoe and a dirty, bug filled tree astonished me.
I am usually only astonished by lies. (Hey Karen … you look GREAT in those coolots! Hey Karen … I just killed all the weeds in my garden with this environmentally friendly weed killer! Hey Karen … I honestly think spider veins are kindda sexy)
So this got me to thinking. I wonder if this video is a lie? Could it really be this easy? Could I really look this distinguished while trying to open a bottle of wine on a tree trunk? I certainly hoped so. Because this would be the best party trick in the world, second only to dangling a teaspoon off the end of your nose.
So I gave it a shot, and here’s how it went.
Conclusion: You literally need to manhandle the bottle of wine for this to work. It does not knock out with a few quick smacks on the tree. I’m not sure I ever could have dislodged the cork on my own. For one thing, there’s the underlying terror that the bottle is going to explode into razor like projectiles of glass. Which, although entertaining for a YouTube video or a Wile E Coyote cartoon … is not nearly as amusing in real life.
For those who are curious – here is the original video. It differs considerably than mine.
Sure thing Mr. Fancy Pants. However, chances are I won’t be able to make it to Bistro Bordeaux on account of my pulled shoulder muscle, sore back and disgusting foot from standing in the dirt, shoeless, for 8 minutes.
Special thanks to my mom Betty (who was only there so she could leave with the cheap bottle of wine I bought for the experiment). Also big thanks to my fella, who due to a strict Crossfit regimen and insane fitness level could actually dislodge the cork on this bottle.
I’m not sure who filled in for Mr. Fancy Pants when the cameras weren’t rolling. Someone with enormous strength or anger issues. My guess would be Godzilla or a woman who was recently criticized for her spider veins.
Lynn
How that poor tree suffered for your wine! LOL
Jacqui
ohh!! as a science teacher i think this needs some investigation.. what about hammering on the wall.. or the ground? a fence post? Does cold wine v warm red make a difference?
of course i’d have to drink the wine after it was opened or it would be a waste…
*trots off to the shop*
Sandra Neights
oh darn i’m gonna have to try that now!
Karen
You might want to do a little training first. Push ups, pulls ups, shotput … that sort of thing. :) – karen
Liz
How bizarre! I was just looking at a video of this on youtube the other day.
I wasn’t nearly as sceptical as you. I was all filled with the bright light of optimism and hope that one day, when caught at a party with a bottle of wine and no corkscrew in the household, that i would be able to pull this off as a party trick.
I’m glad you’ve spared me the embarrassment.
Karen
That is bizarre. It’s like we’re psychically linked. Do you think we’re psychically linked?
Liz
Definitely. I hear your thoughts all the time.
You should definitely start wearing a tin foil hat because there are some things i just don’t need to hear…
Lori
Hahahahaha!!!! I love it. I posted that video on my blog last week and have been going around telling everyone about this fabulous way to open a wine bottle.
BTW, your video, by far, is more entertaining than the stuffy french man. :)
Karen
Thanks Lori! My video is more entertaining because it’s always more fun to watch someone make an ass of themselves.
Jenn
*giggles heard from offstage*
Susan
Okay, in the spirit of comparing apples to apples, I think a red wine (room temp) with a true cork cork might have come out sooner. Also I believe the man’s shoe with a hard heel was key. That said, a girl should always have a little corkscrew in her purse which can be useful in many situations. Thank you for the funny video complete with family cameos.
Karen
You’re welcome! Family cameos are a must with my videos. I’m quite boring without them. Dull even.
Langela
Your mother cracks me up! I don’t drink so there’s no need for me to try this, but I did wonder how many times your fella would have had to hit it to get it to open. I love these experiments that don’t go quite as planned. Very funny!
Karen
Langela! I’m not what you’d call a drinker but I HAD to try this. Maybe I’ll become a drinker. Drinker’s always look like they’re having so much fun. Until they throw up or pee themselves.
Langela
No need to start drinking. I think you have plenty of fun sober. Since you aren’t afraid of doing things that might seem wacky, as a drunk you’d probably just sit there and mumble incoherently about someone’s shoes.
Karen
Pftt. You’re probably right. Better than yelling at someone’s shoes I suppose. – karen
Robert
I can’t stop laughing, you made my day! :)
Karen
Thanks Robert! Glad to have made ya laugh.
j.
I think the major difference between your cork success and the original is the cork itself. I’ve probably opened hundreds of bottles of wine (I managed a fine restaurant years ago) and when they began bottling wine with those plastic-type corks, presentation became a pain in the ass. The original CORK corks were softer, oh! And I believe the original tight ass guy was opening a Bordeaux, which is a red, which makes the cork even softer!
In hindsight, I think you should try your experiment again with a bottle of red wine that has an actual cork stopper.
But thank you for the entertainment and I LOVE your blog!!!
Karen
J. Yes. .. Um … i won’t be doing this again. Mr. Fancy Pants inferred this could be done with any wine, PLUS for the most part, most women drink white wine. Nope. No more bashing my tree for the sake of wine! :)
Jenna
#&*(@Q. I am laughing so hard inside! lololol. At work, trying to keep it inside. Clearly, Mr. Fancy pants edited the crap out of his video. You should do an edited version too. Just the first and last tap – and the cork is popped.
Good work!
Karen
Jenna, OMG you’re right!! I should have done a super-edited version. Boom, boom, WINE! Maybe I’ll still do it. Just for fun! – karen
Meghan
Your mom is a hoot! All that work to get the cork out and she say, “Oh, I don’t want wine. It’s not happy hour yet.” Any hour is happy hour when you bust a cork out of a bottle with nothing but a tree. LOL!
amy
a well deserved “salut” – and your mom is too much!
Phyllis
That was stinkin’ funny. Thanks for the laugh – what a great way to start the day.
I want to try it now, but it’s early morning and I don’t have any wine.
Karen
Thanks Phyllis!
Tessa
Karen- you’re blog makes me laugh everyday, this one had me crying. Commentary from all, including Mom Betty = priceless.
Karen
Tessa! Thanks for letting me know I’ve made ya laugh. Sitting here at home, I have no idea what people’s reaction is unless they comment. I’m glad to know people aren’t just staring blankly at the screen thinking “what the hell” … this chic’s dull.
Megan
I’ve been reading your blog for some time and I had to comment- you are amazing.
Thank you for testing out the validity of this- I want to figure out how to make this a party trick – if I can figure out how to do it quickly.
Karen
Megan! Thanks for supporting my blog. (by reading it … not monetarily. You haven’t sent me money have you? Did you send me money? A cheque maybe?) If you want to figure out how to turn this into a party trick I would suggest you start by increasing the size of your biceps by blowing into your thumb.
j.
Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like a Mrs. Fancy Pants or anything. ;)
Karen
LOL. I will now refer to you as Mrs. Frilly Pants … distant relative of Mr. Fancy Pants.
Erica J.
I like you! You’re fun! I should stop reading/watching your videos where there are other people who aren’t watching/reading with me. I look and sound a bit crazy laughing and saying “no way…” Yogurt tampon followed with a glass of wine sitting watching birds in my homemade bird bath wondering how long it will take for my tree to recover from it’s recent beating.
Karen
LOL! Well, evidently you’re fun too! – karen
Yvonne
An absolute laugh riot, Karen! I love your blog. Have to admit though that I’m a bit of a skeptic re – the original video – the camera cuts away, then suddenly he comes back with the cork at the end of the bottle for him to remove by hand. At that point, look closely, I would say that he has an empty bottle in his hand as he lifts it to drink. I think it took him more than 6 whacks – if I ever have a bottle and a handy tree I’m going to try it.
By the way, you have gone International, I forwarded your post to my sister in Scotland,as a ‘must read” – daily giggle. cheers
Shauna Wobeser
OMG…ahhhh, deep breath!! My 7 yr old has come out twice during this video to tell me that I am laughing too loud for him to sleep!! Well great! Now what, I was going to try this at work this weekend in hopes of a big tip…so much for that!! I guess I will just do what all the other girls do and resort to a low cut shirt!! jk Thanks for the fun Karen!!
Ann Marie
That was entertaining. Thanks!
Beth
SO funny!! I’ll be smiling all day thinking about this.
Steve G
Very entertaining. I notice that you tried to open the bottle with the foil on but “Mr Fancy Pants” removed the foil completely before “smacking the tree”. It’s hard to tell from the video if you trimmed the end or not. I wonder if that is what made the difference.
Karen
Hi Steve. No … I didn’t try to open the bottle with the foil on. It was off. So that wasn’t the problem. The problem is that people put things in commercials, or on television or on the Internet making things look easier/better than they are. The magic of editing as they say. THAT’s the true difference between his video and mine. :)
Cheryl K
Remember, “the internet lies!”
Karen
Indeed. The Internet is a big fat liar. Not *my* Internet though. Mine only tells the truth. :) ~ karen
Shannon S.
That is absolutely hilarious!
Meg
I’m not even sure how I came upon this website, but that video was simply hilarious. You’re amazing!
Tori
Karen you are hilarious and since yesterday I’m now addicted to your blog!!! Thanks to Design Sponge, you’re my new regular dose of entertainment! Thank you! :-)
Mary Hagenston
Just to rub it in a bit, here is a short similar video a friend sent me that makes it seem soooo easy! Take a peek and see if you are inspired to try it again, as we all need another good laugh! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYn4CDMh_tA
Schmidty - Man Vs. Style
I think Ill just stick to using a cork screw.
Although a lot of wine nowa days have twist tops to avoid the wine becoming corked years down the track (i.e. no waste in years to come)
Andy
You were doing it in the wrong order. You needed to drink some first and then try. Here’s another demonstration from someone who is clearly a seasoned vet!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv8RvNxy6uM
Astex
Seems to be an Illinois commercial ?
Would need to let the wine cool down after you open the bottle.
Alyssa
Scenario: 11:00pm, first night of weekend long family reunion, commonly refered to as the “Stand’n'Drink.” 12 bottles of wine and no corkscrew. (The point isn’t so much the quantity of wine present as the fact that someone managed to pack that much and not bring anything to open it with…) After a long day of travelling, sitting in construction zones, losing cell phones, getting lost, and “cloud bursting” (The Men who stare at Goats, anyone?) so we wouldn’t have to tent in the rain… it was time for a sangria “nightcap.” And no 24hr place closer than 30 minutes away, requiring an hour wait.
Experiment: Is it possible to remove a cork from a wine bottle with a tree and a shoe?
Conclusion: Yes. Most emphatically yes. In fact, we liked it so much, we did it again the next night. (Read, we all mananaged to forget to stop and buy a stupid corkscrew between the multiple trips to nearby stores.) It took my Uncle 20 whacks… and my sister’s boyfriend did it too. But not in 6. Reading your blog made the whole weekend that much more enjoyable. Thanks.
Karen
OMG, that’s great! Thanks for letting me know. Glad to be of service. :) – karen
Laura
Just came across your blog from a friend’s rec – HILARIOUS! There aren’t too many trees in NYC to try this on, but maybe I will make “being able to open a bottle of wine in six smacks” my new workout goal. Motivation!
Lisa
This is the funniest thing I have seen in a LONG time. I’m sitting at the kitchen table laughing. I made my boyfriend watch it just so I can see it again. You just gotta whack it like you want it!
Karen
Thanks Lisa! Maybe that was the problem. I really *didn’t* want it. Had it been a Diet Coke, that thing would have been opened in a heartbeat. ~ karen
Rhonda Nesin
Even seeing the little pic next to the link for this on your Steven and Chris post made me laugh in remembrance.
Last time I read this post, I wanted to ask if you knew how to Bonsai a champagne bottle – which is way more spectacular than the shoe/wine thing, and much more predictable. No worries, small trees are not harmed. (Can’t remember why I didn’t post that time. I think I just wimped out.)
Take the back edge of a butcher knife, i.e. the not-sharp edge, and run it along the ‘seam’ of the champagne bottle in one long, fluid, committed motion. No extreme force necessary, but you have to mean it. When the knife blade meets the rim of the bottle, the entire top of the bottle flies off in a clean break! You will lose a little bubbly, but who cares?
Practice with Andre first, or your choice of cheap champagne.
Rhonda Nesin
OK, after watching the YouTubes recommended above, I did a search on the champagne thing, and now realize that sabering champagne must be pretty widely known – sorry for that.
But, if you haven’t seen it before, this is a pretty good video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHHSOKFzmYQ&feature=fvsr
Watch some where they whack the neck of the bottle instead of running the knife along the seam, and they ruin it every time.
Jess
I found your blog through the Nester, I love it here. :) I can’t watch videos on my work computer so I actually searched for this video on youtube on my iPhone while I was sitting at my desk… so glad I did.. it was hilarious! I watched a couple others just to see how “easy” it was supposed to look, and I agree, the French guy totally edited. I’d like to try it, but the only big tree I have is in the front yard… wonder what the neighbors will think? hahaha
Lou Cinda
Oh Em Gee!! I had not seen this before…SO I had to watch it THREE times!! So funny!!! Your mother!! Hysterical!! I am going to try this! For real! I don’t feel good about it…..keep you posted!
Lou Cinda ;)
OH! And enjoy your Canadian holiday….while I am at work….on a non-holiday here…. :(
Susan
Ah Ha! Notice at 40 and 41 seconds into His video, there was a cut in it to a close up. THERE’S where there were 151 whacks in between.
I just adore you and it was fun to see you “in person”. Thank you for keeping this blog and me knowing I’m not the only one who has some of the same conversations in my head. <3 S.
Jenn
Okay, that was my first viewing.
One – you’re not already imbibing before you start this? Oh, my, you have more fun than me!
Two – you don’t even like wine.
Classic.
Rachel
I’m thinking they cut a lot of the smacks against the tree out of the Mr. Fancy Pants video. Oh the ease of opening your wine with “only the bottle and your shoe.”
Karen
Rachel – Yes, the video has definitely been edited to make it appear a little more “boom, boom, boom, wine!”. ~ karen
pat
Nice work Karen. Is he wine chilled? The botttle looks frosty. Or is it all that shakin’ goin’ on?
Liz
Hysterical! Personally I prefer your video – much more entertaining!
janey
lmao!! you guys are nuts (in a really fun way). wow.
Karen
Janey – Wait’ll you get to the “folding a fitted sheet” video, LOL. ~ karen