Betty's All Better for $1,000

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Here it is 10 p.m. again and I'm just starting to write tomorrow's post. Why you ask? I was on the phone explaining they/them to Betty.

I want you to imagine how many hours that took and then add another 4 days onto it. Betty has mainly got over Covid. So she's feisty.

She had a couple of sketchy days this week with either a bit of rebound or something else entirely, but her only symptom now is feeling tired and incessantly reminding me to get my booster shot. (done)

Betty has taken to watching Jeopardy over the past couple of years and every time someone is on that she deems interesting, she demands I also watch.

Earlier this year it was Canadian contestant Mattea Roach. Every night she was on I'd get a text message that said "Jeopardy", which was inevitably followed by a text at 8 p.m. that said "She won".

My response was either "Oh good.", "I saw" or "Who is this and how did you get my number?".

We are now at the latest Jeopardy contestant of interest, Rowan Ward. I spoke to my mother on the phone earlier today and she said I had to watch Jeopardy tonight. I hadn't heard that since the tragic big bet loss of Ryan Long.

She told me I had to watch because she liked Rowan. Also, Rowan was something a bit different - Betty just didn't know quite what. So I said, yes I'd watch Jeopardy to see what she meant.

After watching for a few minutes I texted Betty with my assessment.

So that's when, even though I knew it was going to be a struggle and possibly lead to both of us having an acute aneurysm - I explained they/them to Betty.

She's 87, AND she's watched Orange is the New Black, so Betty knows a thing or two. Especially about 30 second long lesbian sex encounters in prison cafeterias.

This is how I explained it, and at this moment I ask all the they/thems among us to please forgive me if I've made a mess of this.

I told Betty that the best description I could give was that there are REALLY feminine women and REALLY masculine men. And then there's everyone else.

I'd say I'm lower down on the feminine side. I really don't have a lot of traditionally feminine traits other than being smokin' hot.

Both of my sisters are MUCH higher than me on the feminine scale but neither one of them could ever wear the queen of femininity crown. Pink Tool Belt has her "manly" saw collection (miter, table, jig, band) and Fish Pedicure always, always, ALWAYS has her nails done and loves pretty things but she's 100% going to give you the finger and curse you out if you anger her on the road.

I believe I used Zsa Zsa Gabor in a desperate attempt to describe ultra feminine to Betty, but really Zsa Zsa was probably not a good example on account of she assaulted a police officer after he pulled her over for expired tags.

"Nice" feminine women don't drive around with a flask of Jack Daniels in their Rolls Royce, slapping police officers. Or anyone probably.

I'm losing control of this post and I only have 1 minute before midnight.

Would you like to save this stuff?

We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.

Shit, (there's that lack of femininity in me) I have to hurry this up.

So I explained to Betty that there are degrees of femininity and masculinity. Some are high on the scale, some are low, and some people feel like they're kind of neither. Or both. Sort of in the middle.

This is all according to our culture's stereotypical traits, at this moment in time. Feminine and masculine looked different in the 1400's for example. And the 1500's and 1600's and ... you get the picture.

I tried to make it as basic as possible for her to grasp the idea and did a lot of gesturing with my hands in the form of a U graph which was only seen by my cat, Philip and a possible piece of fluff / possible spider on the kitchen counter where I stood.

This is what I was trying to convey ...

Yes, there's more to it than this, yes I'm sure my explanation has angered at least one person to the point of their head exploding like a piece of popcorn. But the answer seemed to satisfy Betty.

They won by the way. Rowan. They'll be on next week's Tournament of Champions on Jeopardy.

I'm not sure which night it is, but I am sure Betty will send me a text to let me know whether they won.

Oh. And I know you're wondering about the skirt in the text message. It's a plaid wool skirt that Betty has decided is awful, but not as awful as she thought it was going to be. I bought it at a flea market for $20 last week and it was hanging to dry.

She wanted to see it.

I will look smokin' hot in this. But not as smokin' hot as Harry Styles would.

A new puzzle and the puzzle winner from last week for you tomorrow because I ran out of time tonight. The puzzle is Halloween themed which is why the first photo in this post is a skull, lol.

Click below if you want to pay 7 bucks and join me and hundreds of other procrastinators in this year's Christmas Pledge (deluxe)