My mother doesn't swear. She'll tell you that if you ask her. Ask my nephew and he'll give you a different answer. When he was 6 years old he declared that "My gramma, smokes, drinks and swears a lot" to his Kindergarten teacher.
In his defence, the teacher did ask what his grandmother was like. The photo above is my mother's "I'm in public so I can't swear face." Notice the pinched smile and hands gripping her knees.
Of course my mother was mortified when she heard about what my nephew said to his teacher. He hadn't even mentioned her sassy fashion sense.
So I get my love of clothing, my migraines and my colourful language from my mother.
Unless you ask her. In which case she'll say she doesn't know what the hell I'm talking about.
Of my two sisters, one swears and one does not. As in, I have never heard her swear a word in my entire life. Ever. Not once. Not even in secret I bet. She also doesn't drink, smoke or lie and has natural blindingly blonde hair. She's no fun at all.
My OTHER sister? She's lots of fun.
I first published this post asking if you swear, TEN years ago and haven't looked at it since. I cannot wait to start scrolling through the comments. I have noticed in that time I've adopted a very weird habit.
Instead of swearing, sometimes out of the blue I say "Darn it all to heck". Mainly in place of one of the lower grade swear words like shit. For instance if my toast burns it might get a Darn it all to heck, whereas a few years ago it definitely would have elicited a SHIT.
I maybe just don't care as much about toast as I used to.
So tell me my little assheads. Do you swear? And before you answer no, think of the second thing that would pop out of your mouth if you were to smash your shin on a glass table. (I'm assuming the first thing would some sort of grunt or cry)
I'll go first. Yes. I swear. And it isn't because I have a poverty of vocabulary. I'm simply a fan.
Savannah
My husband said I sound like Roy Kent from Ted Lasso, so yeah, I swear! xoxo
Lisa E
Let’s put it this way… my daughter immediately turns off the speakerphone when the kids are in the car and she sees that it is me calling… not that I would cuss in front of my grandkids of course (she just knows I can’t see them there) And I do try to use restraint with my language unless I am suddenly and severely provoked.. hahaha
Wendy Thomson
Sure I do, quite often and quite eloquently. Except when I’m In the presence of my oldest sister. People will look somewhat taken aback because I’m 73 years old and look kind of sweet. I find it very liberating.
Petra
Indeed I do. but I'm selective since I discovered some people actually think "crap" is a swear word...I mean WTF is that about?
Cheryl P.
Yes, on occasion. Like last night when I rammed my little toe into the dresser and broke it. The toe, not the dresser. The air became blue with my effinheimers, offered as noun, verb, adjective, and possibly adverb. The air is no longer blue, but my toe, sadly, is.
Joyce
Broke my toe last week…tripped over a bundled up heavy rug. Totally my own f’ ing fault. Son-of-a-bitch!
TexasKat
I do and then I quit. Ask God for forgiveness and 5 minutes later, I am dropping the "F-bomb." I have used colorful words for a long time, but still trying to quit.
suzy charto
you find out how much you swear when you are with young kids and you can't. I need a bandage over my mouth
skk
lol, I love to swear, but not around kids or in a professional situ. At home alone, my swearing borders on being vulgar.
Linda Wade
I swear like a Philadelphia dock worker and have done it all my life. I actually like it. Makes other people cringe but I still do it.
Randy P
I'm 74, a Vietnam Vet and a lifelong resident of inner-city Chicago. You bet yer ass I swear, sometimes rising to the level of an art form. Because now and then it truly is the appropriate thing to say.
JennieLou
I have the vocabulary of a well-educated sailor! (Although I do know when not to use it!)
cricket
I swear like the fucking lady that I am. People who don't swear make damned nervous. And I usually, albeit secretly, think they're assholes.
Slackerjo
I used to work in tech support. Early Sunday morning tech support call. I heard an agent trying to help a client with an internet issue. The agent was speaking in French.
Agent (in French) Are you in front of the computer?
Customer cannot answer this yes or no question for some reason.
Agent again (in French) Are you in front of the computer?
Customer cannot answer this yes or no question for some reason.
Agent again again (in French) Are you in front of the computer?
Customer cannot answer this yes or no question for some reason.
Agent for the FOURTH TIME (in French) Are you in front of the computer?
Customer cannot answer this yes or no question for some reason.
Everyone could hear the agent bang the mute button and yell "Tabarnac fucking moron!" Everyone sitting near him burst into laughter. The agent unmuted the customer and returned to his Patience of Job Voice and asked. "Are you in front of the computer?"
Yes bilingualism swearing is alive and well in Canada.
My favorite swearing combination is "Fuckity fuck fuck fuck!"
Oriah
I've earned a silver medal in cussing....some other-mother fucker took home the gold.
I consider cussing to be actual verbal punctuation. In case you didn't hear the exclamation point or question mark via tone, i include a "fuck", "hell", "damn", "dick", or "c*nt" to help you to understand the sincerity and depth of my emotional response.
I'm a nurse and i work at a teaching hospital so there are newly minted doctors running around. One day i asked one of the family medicine residents if labor and deliver nurses (which was my specialty at the time) talk dirtier than other nurses. He sheepishly reported, "Well...i've actually been pretty surprised by how 'dirty' nurses talk and labor & delivery nurses are definitely 'the sailor of nurses.'"
Louann
Yes. All the time. With effing regularity.
Amanda
I swore in middle school. A lot. My parents had taught me not to, but I wasn't cool and thought swearing would make me cool. It didn't. So I challenged myself to stop, and I did. It has been twenty years, and I only once cussed at my hubby when we were having a good old row, but I figured once in 12 years of marriage is pretty good. I don't like hearing swearing in general, but if it is particularly funny or well timed, I certainly can appreciate it.
safety dog
I do swear, but only with certain people or in certain situations. I have acquaintances who would be shocked to hear me swear. After having kids, I've tried to moderate. My favorites for public consumption: crikey, dagnab it, and diggedy dogs. Although I did say "what the fuck" the other day in the car, and neither child commented or seemed surprised. Maybe I haven't been as careful as I'd thought.
Elisa
I swear but only at work or if it's funny. My husband on the other hand, swears when he's mad. We were lost just this weekend and my 13 year old daughter was in the back seat listening to it. She later told me it was like Dad had made a cuss word salad and the F-word was the lettuce.
Mari
My sisters sent me a picture of a t-shirt that read," I am an intelligent, well educated, classy, woman who says Fuck - a lot!"
Meg
Yes, ma'am. It's definitely worse, too, because I work with all dudes.