Because of the kind of person I am, my nails are rarely "done". Because of the kind of person I am this sometimes bothers me. I love clothing, love style, worship Issey Miyake and Tom Ford BUT ... even if I do my own nails or get them done they don't last longer than say .... 13.7 seconds.
I'm a bit of a mess that way.
It's a struggle of a life when you love looking like a runway model and building chicken coops. And I swear to you, the only thing keeping me from looking like a runway model each and every day of my life (even in my sleep with my mouth hanging open and my cats ass in my head) is the fact that my nails are never done.
I manage to keep on top of my hair because my friend Renee does it and last time I let my hair go too long between cuts she told me I looked great anyway. That kind of bold faced lie really makes you reflect on what a horror you must really be.
I have good intentions. I think I'll do my nails. But then I do something else instead. Like eat. Or sleep. Or powerwash the neighbourhood.
But when I saw the black matte and gloss manicure while I was Googling about how to do another type of manicure ... I was hell bent on doing my nails.
The other manicure I was Googling, by the way, was the quilted nails you see here ...
See quilted nail tutorial here.
This particular tutorial uses tape to create the quilting effect. Other tutorials say using a hand held dental floss pick works great to dent your nails into a quilted pattern. It does not. I repeat, it does not work great. At all. I know this becuase I bought those little hand held dental flossers for the sole purpose of quilting my nails. 'Cause it seemed so easy and all. It was not easy. At all.
It looked like a bird with warts on the bottom of its feet walked over my nails.
That's when I remembered the other manicure I came across while searching for a quilted nail tutorial.
The black, matte & gloss french manicure.
I love it with all of my heart for two reasons.
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We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.
It's exactly my style AND it really is easy to do. Foolproof in fact.
The manicure is a copy of the YSL Tuxedo manicure which is in tribute to the classic black silk on wool, YSL tuxedo jacket.
What you need:
Base coat
Regular nail polish
Matte top coat.
Steps:
1. Base coat.
2. 2 coats regular, shiny nail polish over entire nail. (let dry)
3. 1 coat Matte top coat over entire nail. (let dry)
4. Paint tips with regular, shiny nail polish
(you can also use a clear, shiny top coat for the tip portion)
I would like to take a moment to advise you that there will be no more DIY blog posts including, but not limited to cooking, cleaning, home repair, building, chickens, cats, hammering, washing or scratching. Until I get sick of this manicure.
Join me here tomorrow when we'll just look at each other.
MindyK
Wow. It's a whole blog post worth of comments from people like me. I am so thrilled to know I am not alone in my hopeless ruination of manicures because I insist on having a rather active, hands-on, dirt-under-nails sort of life--but you've gone me one better and discovered ways to have pretty nails AND a proper life. I have found my people. :)
Erica
I'm sure you've probably already tried it, but my favorite is the shellac manicure, where they cure the special polish under uv lights and it gets super (SUPER) hard and never chips. I love it and it's the only polish I can wear that lasts more than 20 minutes.
Karen
My niece is an aesthetician and she doe shellac. The only thing I don't like about it is you can't scratch well with it, LOL. ~ karen!
Amanda
I've painted my nails at least three times - senior prom (date was gay), wedding (date not gay), and for a black tie thingy we went to. Every time my hair and clothes looked fab, but nails...not so much. Why can I paint a wall with razor crisp trim lines, but can't get nail polish to look good? Never tried French. Manicures, that is. Tried lots of other French things I liked! But I think they were all more enduring than a FM would be on me.
Kim from 3 peanuts
Oh my! They look great and it is exactly the multi dimensional aspect of you that I adore so much.
Feral Turtle
I have a terrible time with polish. My niece did a fancy gel manicure....not the gel nails, just polish with a special light, and before she got the second hand done, I had ruined two nails from the first. I am just destined to be a plain nail....K that didn't sound very good but you know what I mean.
Ira
I swear to god I'm the exact same position. How am I supposed to dig through potting soil or take apart old TVs w/ a perfect manicure? It never lasts!
Erin
Okay, for reals...I haven't had my nails polished in over 15 years for many of the same reasons you haven't. I didn't have the time, hated how they looked when they chipped after 47 minutes of wear, I kept my nails short anyway so I didn't get dirt under them while gardening etc...but I recently have become a convert. I started getting schellac manicures. Currently, I have been wearing the same color for 3 weeks! I kid you not. In those three weeks I have: gardened, shuffled paper, done 21 nights of dishes, cleaned bathrooms and gone CAMPING (which means I cut wood, built fires, cooked on a camp stove, etc) and I don't have a single chip. The only thing one might notice is that my nails have grown so you can see about an 1/8" of new nail, but who cares!? The finish is still shiny and it is a joy to look at my nails now...woo hoo. For anyone thinking about doing this for the holidays or just because...DO IT!
Julie
I've been loving the look of matte nailpolish for a while now, this just affirmed my love & need to get some. awesome.
Diana
I don`t have the patience to dry every single coat...
"Is it dry?... sure - let`s open jeansbuttons or something like that."
If I want to use nailpolish somebody has to tie me up on a chair... whith stapled hands on the table... and in an empty white room... under hypnosis! lshmsfoailmt
mimiindublin
I thought this read "The Polish Alcoholic" on the quilted picture!
just home from a great night out, maybe that's why!