My Favourite Manicure.
Gloss on Matte French Black Manicure.

Because of the kind of person I am, my nails are rarely “done”. Because of the kind of person I am this sometimes bothers me. I love clothing, love style, worship Issey Miyake and Tom Ford BUT … even if I do my own nails or get them done they don’t last longer than say …. 13.7 seconds.

I’m a bit of a mess that way.

It’s a struggle of a life when you love looking like a runway model and building chicken coops.   And I swear to you, the only thing keeping me from looking like a runway model each and every day of my life  (even in my sleep with my mouth hanging open and my cats ass in my head) is the fact that my nails are never done.

I manage to keep on top of my hair because my friend Renee does it and last time I let my hair go too long between cuts she told me I looked great anyway.  That kind of bold faced lie really makes you reflect on what a horror you must really be.

I have good intentions.  I think I’ll do my nails.  But then I do something else instead.  Like eat.  Or sleep.  Or powerwash the neighbourhood.

But when I saw the black matte and gloss manicure while I was Googling about how to do another type of manicure … I was hell bent on doing my nails.

The other manicure I was Googling, by the way, was the quilted  nails you see here …


Quilt Tutorial 2

 See quilted nail tutorial here.

This particular tutorial uses tape to create the quilting effect.  Other tutorials say using a hand held dental floss pick works great to dent your nails into a quilted pattern.  It does not.  I repeat, it does not work great.  At all.   I know this becuase I bought those little hand held dental flossers for the sole purpose of quilting my nails.  ‘Cause it seemed so easy and all.  It was not easy.  At all.

It looked like a bird with warts on the bottom of its feet walked over my nails.

That’s when I remembered the other manicure I came across while searching for a quilted nail tutorial.

The black, matte & gloss french manicure.

I love it with all of my heart for two reasons.

It’s exactly my style AND it really is easy to do.  Foolproof in fact.

The manicure is a copy of the YSL Tuxedo manicure which is in tribute to the classic black silk on wool,  YSL tuxedo jacket.

What you need:

Base coat

Regular nail polish

Matte top coat.


1. Base coat.

2.  2 coats regular, shiny nail polish over entire nail. (let dry)

3.  1 coat Matte top coat over entire nail. (let dry)

4. Paint tips with regular, shiny nail polish

     (you can also use a clear, shiny top coat for the tip portion)


I would like to take a moment to advise you that there will be no more DIY blog posts including, but not limited to cooking, cleaning, home repair, building, chickens, cats, hammering, washing or scratching. Until I get sick of this manicure.

Join me here tomorrow when we’ll just look at each other.