Natural Yeast Infection Cure that Actually Works. Frozen Yogurt Tampon.

So about a month or so ago I got that itchy feeling “down there”.

What’s that? You’d like to go for dinner, handsome man? Sorry, but I have to stay home and scratch at myself.

O.K. …. I assume after that first sentence, it’s just us girls here now, so I can be frank.

I was pretty sure it wasn’t a mosquito bite and almost positive I threw my poison ivy underwear out, so it couldn’t be that.  This was looking more and more like a yeast infection.  I hadn’t had one in several years, but it’s kind of like riding a bike.  You don’t forget it and it can give you a funny feeling down in your nether regions.

It wasn’t what you could describe as “raging”.  I certainly didn’t have to sequester myself inside the house so I could scratch between my legs with a bottle brush, but it was definitely something that would need taking care of.

So … as I am want to do, I headed to the trusty (pfttt) Internet to see if there was some sort of home cure.  There were a bunch of suspect cures on there, suggested by obvious whack jobs, but there were also a few actual possibilities.

One of which was the frozen yogourt tampon.  Hmm .. sounds kind of plausible.  The more I thought about it, there was no way that perfectly reasonable solution was suggested by a whack job. I was gonna try it!

Basically what you do is take a plastic tampon, (remove the actual tampon) fill it with plain yogourt, freeze it, then shove it up your hoo-hoo.  The natural bacterial cultures, plunged deeply into your inner womanness then go to work like little vagina chimney sweepers, getting rid of the bad bacteria and building up the good.  Check out the video to see how it all turned out!  Yes, I said it; there’s a video.

Don’t worry … it’s safe for kids and the office. As far as I remember anyway … don’t quote me on that.

Natural Yeast Infection Cure.

 

 

All this scratchin’ is makin’ me itch. Testing out the theory that making a tampon out of frozen yogurt will cure a yeast infection!

 

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129 Comments

  1. Erica J. says:

    You made my day! I laughed, I cringed, I was glad you said it didn’t need to be frozen. I am so very glad that you are brave enough and smart enough to do all the things you do…and then share.

  2. Amanda says:

    Yogurt works wonders! But, so does a simple clove of garlic. I know most women are gonna say, “Ew!!!”, but seriously, if you insert a peeled clove of garlic (organic, of course) into your vayayay the itching is relieved at once, and you can even “wear” it while you work/ride a bike/sing songs. I usually leave it in for 8 hours, and the infection is gone. It can be a little challenging pulling the sucker out, but if you’ve ever put in a diaphragm it’s just about the same… Also, what I LOVE about these methods is that the cost is minimal in comparison to the expensive, yucky, chemical creams sold at the drugstore. Karen, you are brilliantly hilarious. Thank you for writing such a fabulous blog :)

    • Robin says:

      Yes, garlic works as well and it’s easier and less messy! In response to Amandas post about it being tricky to remove simply poke a hole in the center of the clove and thread with dental floss. You can make it into a little garlic tampon. I do it at night and remove in the morning. The funny part is you wake-up with garlic breath!

      • Kristy says:

        I am just NOW, TODAY, finding this site and THIS topic… You guys have me literally laughing out loud- so much so that I am reading these aloud to my husband! His reply “I can’t hear about this stuff anymore!” (insert squinty eyes and a sucked-on-something-sour expression) hahahahahahaha!!

      • Manelyred says:

        OMG, now THAT one make Me laugh…..a garlic tampon at night and you wake up with garlic Breath……LOLOLOL

  3. Lori says:

    This went PERFECTLY with my evening glass of wine! bwahahahaha! dinner and a show. I loved it. And that, folks, is why you are my ultimate girl crush. hee hee (still laughing and honestly, I’ll bet it does work. hat’s off to ya)

  4. sera says:

    Yep! The yogurt totally works – but while initially freezing it sounds like a good idea, cold is just as good. Yep, maxipad, and yep eat some too. And from someone who was plagued by yeast infections and UTI’s I highly recommend that the moment a UTI starts coming on, drink tons of straight unsweetened cranberry juice (or take the supplements)and eat the plain yogurt and then you don’t end up on those pesky antibiotics that destroy all kinds of good things.

  5. I have one question:

    Doesn’t it just all pour out once it un-freezes?

    Wait another one:

    Isn’t it REEEEEAAAALLLLYYYY cold in your hoo-ha?

  6. Lisa says:

    Ditto, Lara. Laughed out loud when I read “scratch between my legs with a bottle brush”!!! Been there…almost. I found out about probiotic capsules long ago, and they’ve saved me from many raging yeasties.

    Karen, I just found your blog yesterday. So glad I was here for this entry! Love your “after” expressions in the video. Gives a whole new spin to “frigid bitch,” doesn’t it? hahaha!

  7. mick says:

    Note to self…..
    Tell daughter Sam to check out this fantastic idea.
    Phone Betty to tell her that Karen used the hoo-hoo word again.

    • Karen says:

      Note to Micky – Betty’s the one who taught Karen the word hoo-hoo. BAH HAH HAH HAH. No. Um … no she didn’t.

  8. Jenn C. says:

    Hahaha! You’re fantastic! Sadly, we share the same tendency towards OCD (but I wouldn’t change it for the world). :)

    When I feel the itchin’ and a scratchin’ a comin’ along, I grab some probiotic capsules. Same effect as your yogurt idea, without having to insert anything into your vajayjay.

    • Karen says:

      I”ll give em a shot next time! OCD rocks!

    • Kat says:

      Actually, you CAN insert probiotics capsule “up there”.
      It is suggested to do so before bed, to make sure they don’t fall out, I guess. Of course, trying to get them up there is another matter. LOL *voice of experience* haha

  9. Shauna Wobeser says:

    I LOVE IT!! Maybe not the yogurt idea so much but that you are willing to talk about this stuff!! I love reading your ‘stuff’…it’s REAL!! And just a note to above “binder”…I can just imagine going to IKEA and thinking…’Wow…you know what those ice cube trays would be perfect for!!’ lol You know you have a great site when girls phone each other to say…”Have you read it yet?” lol keep it up!

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Shauna! I appreciate it. Nice comments are better than money any day. Oh who am I kidding. Could you send me some cash?

  10. Langela says:

    I wonder. Did you realize this post would bring out so many comments?

  11. Lynne says:

    OMG,You crack me up!
    Thanks for that giggle this morning, hope you feel better really soon.
    If you haven’t got a pastry bag use a Ziploc sandwich bag with the corner snipped off to fill the tampon.
    Still laughing and grateful that I’m not having to deal with that today.

  12. Kate says:

    Whoa! Hilarious but WHOA! I knew I liked you when I read that you let a chipmunk hang out on your shoulder. This, icing on the vag… I mean cake. (this is the line. this is me probably jumping over it with a sparkler in my hand.)

    • Karen says:

      “This is the line. This is me probably jumping over it with a sparkler in my hand.” I am now officially stealing this line. I love this line. It is hilarious.

  13. Joni N. says:

    I’ve heard about the yogurt thing before but haven’t attempted it.

    Two suggestions:

    1) To get the yogurt in the empty tube use a pastry bag and tip to squirt it in;

    2) Insert yogurt before bed that way you’re lying down and they’ll most likely be less oozing.

    -joni

  14. Susan Margaret says:

    Wow~! Hysterical yet practical.
    For someone with a bajeenie, (as my daughter used to call it), you sure have the balls to put this out there. ;)

    • Karen says:

      Thanks Susan Margaret. Yes … I’ve made my family proud with this particular post.

    • Amanda says:

      I was going to say something similar :) Thanks, Karen for having the guts to put this out there!

    • Sophia says:

      Bajeeni! I am on the floor. Literally!

      When my bajeeni is giving me that (not so) lovin’ feeling, I use an empty (and very well rinsed) single-use douche bottle to get the yogurt where it needs to go. Then I lie on the floor with my bum up against the wall and my legs straight up. It’s a pretty good stress-relieving yoga pose called Viparita Karani and frankly, if I have a yeast infection and yogurt up my bajeeni, a little stress relieving is a good thing!

  15. binder says:

    been there done that… frozen yogourt and all, btw Ikea has a perfectly shaped ice cube tray for such purpose…

    ps. haven’t laughed this hard reading and watching your post since watching Wipeout.

  16. Langela says:

    My mother told me about the yogurt thing (not the frozen kind). One thing to check for is the freshest yogurt that you can get so that the active enzymes?/cultures/whatever that do the work are still living. I have yet to try it myself, though. Thanks for trying this for us. The next question is, will you do it again the next time you get the itch?

  17. Nicole says:

    laa laa laa still ignoring the entire concept of putting frozen anything in my vajayjay…but I ran across something, and given our mutual love of dollar stores, I had to share. Weddings at the 99 cent store! http://tackyweddings.com/2009/09/14/nine-couples-wed-at-99-cents-only-store-on-9-9-09-for-99-cents/

  18. amy says:

    omg – thank you for the morning hysteria of laughter with your post and youtube. i am now more informed.take *THAT* CNN!!

  19. Debbie Doodles says:

    That absolutely makes good sense! Wish I had heard about this that time I had to be sequestered! Ooo ouch! Thanks for the tip.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Debbie! I thought every one of us had been sequestered at one time, but I got an email from a friend of mine today (after seeing this post) and she admitted to NEVER having had a yeast infection. She also admitted to being part man. It was quite an email.

  20. Liz says:

    Haaaaaaaaaaa. I can’t admit to finding this post useful without admitting i have a yeast infection.

  21. susan says:

    total genius … so much better than trying to slap dash the chilled goopy stuff on, knowing that 2/3rds will puddle off in minutes. thanks for sharing!

  22. lara says:

    … with a bottle brush … spewed Popsicle juice on that one. still having a hard time catching my breath.

    lara

  23. Jenn A says:

    I once was driving home from the eye doctor – where I’d had my eyes dilated – and got that “oh no” feeling. Fast forward to me at the drug store, blinded by the bright lights, desperately trying not to buy fake nails for each of self-scratching.

    And yes, I agree that yogurt works. I laughed my head off at the frozen yogurt (must be for the ragers) and my husband looked over and said, “I don’t want to know.”

  24. Kathy Jones says:

    I heard of the “yogurt tampon” back in the 70’s, but never a “frozen” one. Keep us posted – or maybe not. :)

    • Karen says:

      hah! No, I think that’s the beginning and the end of my yeast infection posts. Thought it was important to do though cause … I mean … who HASN’T this happened to at one point?

    • med researcher says:

      It is very likely that Johnson and Johnson is working on a time released version of this with a medical device customized for most fittings. 3d molds anyone?
      Email me if my idea is being worked out already! Thanks , just want to see if my mind visualization is up to par. I want to gain reputation credibility.
      Thanks !

  25. shannon@bakeandbloom.com says:

    I haven’t watched the video yet but I assume this is for plain unsweetened yogurt…not the chunky kind with peices of strawberry?

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