There are 2 things you can do in life that will make you look better than you really are.
3 things if you include wearing Spanx.
Firstly, if you’re giving a gift that’s kindda crappy you should always spend as much time as possible wrapping it. Use beautiful paper, silk ribbon and fresh flowers … anything to make the gift look more expensive than it is. Pretty packaging almost always fools us into thinking what’s inside is better than it really is. That’s how beautiful celebrities get away with being such assheads all the time.
Secondly, if you can’t cook, make sure your dinner table is dressed to the nines. Again … it’s all in the packaging. If what you’re eating is presented beautifully, on a perfectly laid table, chances are you won’t notice the food tastes like 15 year old shag carpeting.
Infested with weevils.
One easy way to improve the look of your dinner table is to take part in the good, old fashioned tradition of napkin folding. It might seem a bit intimidating but it really isn’t. With a bit of guidance and a big napkin, you too can fold a napkin. And therefore, you too can fool everyone into thinking your cooking is terrific!
Don’t be a chicken. There’s nothing to be frightened of … you can do it in 1 minute flat … take a look.
How to Fold a Napkin like a Chicken
How to fold a common dinner napkin into the shape of an elegant dead chicken.
If for some unfathomable reason you don’t think a dead chicken is the direction you want to go with your dinner party, you can opt for folding your napkin a little more elegantly. Here’s my tutorial on how to fold a napkin like a tuxedo jacket.
Although really, I can’t imagine any occasion that wouldn’t benefit from a dead chicken napkin.
That was SO Freakin’ Hilarious! I was not expecting that … you’re my new best friend. Hope you love being cyber stalked. LoL. : )
Nice to meet you Laura. I think. :) ~ karen
I’ve only just discovered your fantastic website Karen and had to say THANKS for the huge belly laugh. I love your (wicked) sense of humour, right up my alley!
Cheers
Dee :)
(Australia)
savage sense of humor
Yes m’am! ~ karen
Girl, you kill me! :D
Well before I became a makeup artist, I worked for a few catering companies as a server and learned how to fold a napkin into just about anything you can imagine.
When we finally meet (and I hope it’s soon!), remind me to show you the napkin I learned to fold for an Xtra event. ;)
OMG! Karen I laughed so hard and so long my boys thought I was going to die. I had to post it to my facebook friends and can’t stop thinking of who else I can send this to. Too too funny. I love you, girl.
Marsh – Thanks for the compliment and the Facebook post! Off to think of other funny things. ~ karen
That also kinda looked like something else… but that’s a whole nether topic… bu-dum-dum!
Karen, thank you for graciously providing me with the answer to my Easter question: “How can I entertain my guests while we are awaiting our feast?”
Which happens to be…chicken! We shall view your video on the 52″ flatscreen and create our own homage to the Easter Poultry.
Further, I can teach you how to make a “Bar Crab”. And it’s not what you think, so get your mind out of the gutter.
First, open a bar napkin and twist its corners until they resemble the hand-made bugger-catching Kleenexes of our youth.
Procure a lemon, and place the napkin over it. Shape it around the fruit. Then–WHEEEEE! Send it careening crab-like down the length of the bar!
And you’re welcome. xo
LOL! The sick part of me wants to fold my napkins like this while throwing a dinner party for vegitarians.
You’re the best Karen!
Haha! See, and here I was thinking you were just bringing back more porn. Before I saw the “chicken” it totally looked like a vagina to me. LMAO!
ARGH! I think my work is blocking the video because all I see is blank space in this post where a video most surely should be.
Shauna – It’s true. Your workplace is blocking my hilarious and educational video. Watch it at home if you can. ~ karen!
Hilarious!!
Bwahahahaha! Love it. Whenever I have a real whole chicken I usually make it dance for the kids. I’m gonna do this for them because it will take a lot less hand sanitizer afterward!!!
You videos are my faves!!
I’m wondering if I can do this with paper napkins. Oh, I plan on finding out!
In fact, with Easter weekend coming up I’ll probably be the last one in the office. I think that means I have to make one of these for each chair at our conference/lunch table and leave them there for the early birds on Monday morning.
Fancy + Comedy = The Art of Doing Stuff is now my favorite.
Love,
Z
Thanks Zom! I liked your Ageing Gracefully post. :) ~ karen
Oh, thanks!
I’m pretty sure I don’t share those magic aging genes, but heck, wishing hurts not-at-all.
Chicken napkin folding, however, hurts a ton. Those laugh lines are gonna SHOW.
Omg I am laughing my ass off right now!!!