There are 2 things you can do in life that will make you look better than you really are.
3 things if you include wearing Spanx.
Firstly, if you’re giving a gift that’s kindda crappy you should always spend as much time as possible wrapping it. Use beautiful paper, silk ribbon and fresh flowers … anything to make the gift look more expensive than it is. Pretty packaging almost always fools us into thinking what’s inside is better than it really is. That’s how beautiful celebrities get away with being such assheads all the time.
Secondly, if you can’t cook, make sure your dinner table is dressed to the nines. Again … it’s all in the packaging. If what you’re eating is presented beautifully, on a perfectly laid table, chances are you won’t notice the food tastes like 15 year old shag carpeting.
Infested with weevils.
One easy way to improve the look of your dinner table is to take part in the good, old fashioned tradition of napkin folding. It might seem a bit intimidating but it really isn’t. With a bit of guidance and a big napkin, you too can fold a napkin. And therefore, you too can fool everyone into thinking your cooking is terrific!
Don’t be a chicken. There’s nothing to be frightened of … you can do it in 1 minute flat … take a look.
How to Fold a Napkin like a Chicken
How to fold a common dinner napkin into the shape of an elegant dead chicken.
If for some unfathomable reason you don’t think a dead chicken is the direction you want to go with your dinner party, you can opt for folding your napkin a little more elegantly. Here’s my tutorial on how to fold a napkin like a tuxedo jacket.
Although really, I can’t imagine any occasion that wouldn’t benefit from a dead chicken napkin.
That was SO Freakin’ Hilarious! I was not expecting that … you’re my new best friend. Hope you love being cyber stalked. LoL. : )
Nice to meet you Laura. I think. :) ~ karen
I’ve only just discovered your fantastic website Karen and had to say THANKS for the huge belly laugh. I love your (wicked) sense of humour, right up my alley!
Cheers
Dee :)
(Australia)
savage sense of humor
Yes m’am! ~ karen
Girl, you kill me! :D
Well before I became a makeup artist, I worked for a few catering companies as a server and learned how to fold a napkin into just about anything you can imagine.
When we finally meet (and I hope it’s soon!), remind me to show you the napkin I learned to fold for an Xtra event. ;)
OMG! Karen I laughed so hard and so long my boys thought I was going to die. I had to post it to my facebook friends and can’t stop thinking of who else I can send this to. Too too funny. I love you, girl.
Marsh – Thanks for the compliment and the Facebook post! Off to think of other funny things. ~ karen
That also kinda looked like something else… but that’s a whole nether topic… bu-dum-dum!
Karen, thank you for graciously providing me with the answer to my Easter question: “How can I entertain my guests while we are awaiting our feast?”
Which happens to be…chicken! We shall view your video on the 52″ flatscreen and create our own homage to the Easter Poultry.
Further, I can teach you how to make a “Bar Crab”. And it’s not what you think, so get your mind out of the gutter.
First, open a bar napkin and twist its corners until they resemble the hand-made bugger-catching Kleenexes of our youth.
Procure a lemon, and place the napkin over it. Shape it around the fruit. Then–WHEEEEE! Send it careening crab-like down the length of the bar!
And you’re welcome. xo
LOL! The sick part of me wants to fold my napkins like this while throwing a dinner party for vegitarians.
You’re the best Karen!
Haha! See, and here I was thinking you were just bringing back more porn. Before I saw the “chicken” it totally looked like a vagina to me. LMAO!
ARGH! I think my work is blocking the video because all I see is blank space in this post where a video most surely should be.
Shauna – It’s true. Your workplace is blocking my hilarious and educational video. Watch it at home if you can. ~ karen!
Hilarious!!
Bwahahahaha! Love it. Whenever I have a real whole chicken I usually make it dance for the kids. I’m gonna do this for them because it will take a lot less hand sanitizer afterward!!!
You videos are my faves!!
I’m wondering if I can do this with paper napkins. Oh, I plan on finding out!
In fact, with Easter weekend coming up I’ll probably be the last one in the office. I think that means I have to make one of these for each chair at our conference/lunch table and leave them there for the early birds on Monday morning.
Fancy + Comedy = The Art of Doing Stuff is now my favorite.
Love,
Z
Thanks Zom! I liked your Ageing Gracefully post. :) ~ karen
Oh, thanks!
I’m pretty sure I don’t share those magic aging genes, but heck, wishing hurts not-at-all.
Chicken napkin folding, however, hurts a ton. Those laugh lines are gonna SHOW.
Omg I am laughing my ass off right now!!!
Spectacular! My mother-in-law thinks I’m an idiot so it is my pleasure to validate that by doing silly things like folding my dinner napkins like chickens just to mess with her. I love you for contributing to my delinquent efforts!!
You absolutely crack me up! I think I will do this for Easter lunch…. add alittle something to the table for those that don’t like ham :)Ha!
You simply crack me up :D
Thanks Deborah. Pass it on. ~ karen
HAR! I’m totally doing this for Easter dinner. You should have a specialty link in your blog called “The Art of Folding Stuff”. I’m sure you could do a block of Tofu for the vegetarian population.
Bahaha. I was about to click away when I saw “(If you’re at work…)”. I thought to myself, “Well okay, Karen. I suppose I’ll give it a shot since you wrote that little remark just for me.”
I still wish I had watched it with sound. But it was in fact entertaining anyway.
Maybe you said this in the video, but would you ever actually put chicken napkins on the table at one of the dinner parties you never have? Cause personally it grossed me out a little.
Christina – When you get home … listen to the sound. :) ~ karen
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
snort!
THANK YOU. Your daily entertainment is priceless. If we didn’t live in different countries I would love to invite you to a dinner party. However, most of my dinner parties include beer out of a barrel and an absence of forks….however just think how all of that could be enhanced by fancy folded napkins!
You can invite me to one of your dinner parties anytime! Forks are for schmucks.
I wasn’t going to watch because I have tons to do then I thought “Oh don’t you want to learn how to do this so you can impress your friends?…make them envious of all I do and make them believe that to be me is soooooo effortless….”
Thank GAWD I watched!
I’m still giggling…thanks!
xo xo xo
Blake – You should know by now … there’s *always* a reason to watch/read. I always try to put a little something extra in the posts for those who don’t like the elegant crafts. :) – karen
You are so hilarious! This would be a great at the Thanksgiving table too…pre-roll everyone’s napkins, then guide everyone thru producting their own “turkey” …for some reason this all reminds me of Mr. Bean…
Oh Canada! You’re so clever….you sucked me right in (which I guess is better than be sucked out, and boy, don’t both of those sound really wrong!)
Laughing first thing in the a.m. is the best! I can always count on you. Have you been holding out on us? Who knew you could do such things? Anyone who can do that can do anything! I challenge you to make a napkin look like a cat nursing kittens. That’s right, I challenge you!!!
Sherry – PFttettttt! Only *you* would come up with so graphic a challenge. You’re on! ~ karen
Nothing like a good belly laugh that sprays tea out of one’s nose first thing in the morning…..thanks….!??!
That was great!
Thanks Rita! Everyone should get a little surprise every single day. Consider that video yours. :) ~ karen
I’m trying to decide if my vegan friend would find this more hilarious than I do….or whether she’d be downright horrified. Feck it, I sent it to her anyway!
Oh My!!! I live in the Philippines where, for many years, we could not even buy paper napkins. Cloth napkins are inexpensive, so I DO fold napkins and set a pretty table just for our family. (I also have the culturally expected hired househelp). I was ready to learn a new napkin folding technique and ended up with the best laugh! Thanks!
Bahahaha. Excellent!
That is the only napkin folding I can do – the chicken. I saw “don’t be a chicken” and I thought I’d have to show you my chicken trick, but then you started doing the roll-up part and I didn’t really think you were going to do it, but you did! Bravo! It’s simple and elegant.
OMG, you are hilarious! I thought I’d read enough of your blog to expect your irreverent sense of humor by now, but this totally caught me by surprise! I’ve been reading your blog for about a month now – still haven’t made it through all your posts yet – and I absolutely love it! You have such great style, so, I was expecting something really elegant…
You’re crazy, right?