I made a naked cake.
A cake that is naked.
Naked cakes sprang up at hipster weddings across the land last year. Since I am neither a hipster nor getting married there was no reason for me to have a naked cake. And I made a frowny face that lasted a full year. But when I realized Betty would need a cake for her 80th birthday I rejoiced. Turn that frown upside down. I was finally going to be able to strip.
I made an 8 layer sponge cake which I thought was a chiffon cake but evidently is a pound cake. Apparently what I think of as a sponge cake is not what the British think of as a sponge cake. I didn't know. I don't speak cake.
So I had an 8 layer lemon verbena "sponge" (actually pound) cake. In between each layer I spread thick layers of homemade lemon curd and vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream.
The outside was decorated with fresh lemon verbena leaves, local raspberries and green tails Amaranths from my cutting garden. Also there's the bunting banner I made which I unabashedly copied from a similar banner I saw on ... wait for it ... this is so weird ... Pinterest. I know. A bunting on Pinterest. That's almost as rare as a wart on a witch.
It was a thing of beauty this cake. Allow me to explain how it made it's journey to my sister's house, a 10 minute drive away.
I placed the cake, marble cake stand and all, into the trunk of my car. I sat the cake stand on a non slip pad and closed the trunk. The hot, sweaty, festering, trunk. It was like placing the cake into the armpit of a dry cleaning business.
And then I prayed. And then I realized I don't actually have a religion and had no one to pray to. So I prayed to the one person I thought could really understand my anxiety. I prayed to Martha Stewart.
I started the car, put my hazards on, took a deep breath and slowly stepped on the gas. Now I had a problem. The cake was melting at a rapid pace but if I went anything over 10 km an hour I risked the cake falling over. But the cake was more likely to fall over if the icing and curd melted.
Then I had an anxiety attack inside my car, did some thrashing, banging, hitting myself on the head ... you know, that sort of thing and cried in a way Martha Stewart would never. At the very moment I was about to get really dramatic a deep calm came over me and I felt a hand on my back nudging me forwards. Thanks Cake Boss.
14 hours later I made it to my sister's house with a puddle of cake in the trunk. Just kidding. Both the cake and I made it to the party with only a bit of melting and slanting.
As you can see, by the time she saw the cake Betty was slanting a bit too, so to her the cake was straight.
The biggest question everyone seemed to have was how do you slice a cake like this? Well it's pretty straight forward. You don't slice it. Everyone gathers 'round and smashes their face into it.
At least that's what I suggested but nobody went for it. 80 years olds can be annoyingly stuck in their ways.
What you're looking at is really 4 cakes, stacked on top of each other. I cut the top cake in half and that made 2 slices. Then the next cake was cut into 4, making 4 slices. And so on.
And then everyone smashed their faces into it.
If you're a hipster, getting married or turning 80 I highly, completely and enthusiastically recommend a naked cake. It's a horrible travelling companion but it makes a great entrance.
Have a good weekend!
Kathleen
Gosh Betty looks good! I'll have some of what ever it is she's taking!
Hope she had an awesome day.
Have a great weekend.
Anne
Geez Karen, is there anything you can't do? First, I thought you were a carpenter, then a decorator, gardener, farmer (chickens) crafty type and now, I find with all of that, you are also cake baker/decorator. Wow! Oh yes a TV personality AND a comic. I open your "articles" before going to bed no matter how tired.
Stacie
I had one at my wedding last year. Guess that makes me a hipster.
Whatever. Like I care. Cakes are stupid. I prefer craft beer. *puts on glasses and rides away on old-timey bicycle.
Pam
Ha ha ha!
Karen
LOLLLLL. ~ karen
Pam'a
If you cared, you wouldn't be a hipster. :)
Jay
Clarifying transatlantic baking terms:
Your pound cake is our Madeira cake - a denser structure than a sponge cake so better for stacking tiers.
A sponge cake would get squished under the weight.
A "true" sponge cake uses eggs for the volume and no butter/fat. But most people mean a "Victoria sponge" when they say sponge cake - equal amounts of egg, butter, sugar and flour. (Plus raising agent like baking powder if you're not using self-raising flour)
Hope this is useful - I've been a self-employed baker for 6 1/2 years so I've got the hang of swapping between different regions' terms
(Don't get me started on crochet!)
Karen
Yes, it's a Victoria Sponge. I meant to say that in the post! I got so worked up over telling about the transportation of it that I forgot. ~ karen!
Lin N
Awesome looking cake...you going to supply recipes for cake, and fillings? Does tilting cake taste the same as straight up cake? Inquiring minds wish to know....
Carol Hudson
You nailed it! Bravo!
Mindy
Mine wasn't quite as homemade as yours, I took some shortcuts, but it was friggin delicious. And the best part, I didn't have to transport it. ;)
http://rindymae.blogspot.com/2015/04/angel-food-cake-with-fresh-berries-and.html
Four thumbs up. It turned out really pretty and I'm sure slanted Betty loved it.
Keelea
Recipe, yo!
Bobbles
I was looking for a likely spot to insert the same request. Karen! Recipe! Or it didn't happen! (Especially the recipe for that Swiss something something buttercream!)
Madhu Ramakrishnan
looks really yum and delicious
Carolyn @ Our Gilded Abode
You had me laughing so hard as I read this!!! The cake is beautiful and the story is priceless!!!
Pam
I would gladly smash my face into that gorgeous naked cake!
Rondina
It's gorgeous and looks yummy. I love the little flags and that tablecloth.
So, the British sponge cake is a pound cake? That thing had to weigh quite a bit.
Please tell Betty that those red glasses look great on her. I almost bought a pair, but chickened out. I'm going for red next time because she looks so good in them.
Donie Jensen
Congrats to you for your courageous transport and to Betty for turning eighty!! She looks so beautiful! I just lost my Mother last month at seventy-eight... I envy you but am happy to see and read of your celebration! Here's to many, many more birthdays... Cheers!
Karen
I'm so sorry Donie. ~ karen
brenda
OMGosh … green tailed amaranths … at first I thought it was broccauliflower babies strung together WOW … so much work and I can't believe you put it in the trunk (I would have put it on the floor of the passenger seat so I could watch it disintegrate and fall apart while I drove there) … you are one smart cookie
the banner made me want to weep … I can't wait to make one for my Mom now (she's going to be 92 or 93 next birthday) she seriously has lied about her age all her life and has promised to be buried without us knowing (Dad was a year younger so it was a big deal then as liars do - they get stuck in their lies and have to go to hell if they believe in that sort of thing) … she has recently stopped going to church - she's a smart cookie, too
Kitty Nix
Brenda - google it. Census doesn't lie.
Heather Eggert
"I prayed to Martha Stewart". Crap you make me laugh. All of the time. You are my favorite blogger ever.
christine hilton
ditto
Kitty Nix
My niece Erica told us about you about 5 years ago, it was opening either a sugar or flour sack with those braided strings across the top. We couldn't stop laughing!
Karen
That stupid bag! It was chicken feed! ~ karen
Nancy C
It looks scrumptious and yes, traveling with fragile food can initiate a religious experience. It is my understanding that atheist caterers are few and far between.
Karen
LOLOL! ~ karen
nancy
That's beautiful! Uber Pinworthy. Every Easter my grandmother made a fresh coconut cake with 4 layers and 7 minute icing and used so many toothpicks to keep it all straight it was frightening. We were always afraid and hopeful of Uncle Albert getting too drunk and getting somehow impaled on toothpicks.
Happy Birthday Betty!!!
Madeleine Whitfield
Thanks for the info about those crazy British and their so-called sponge cakes. Coming from that part of the world myself, I have tried to make English sponge cakes and couldn't figure out why the recipes didn't call for the egg whites to be whipped up and folded in like we do here. Now I know why my cakes turned out dense and flat!
Becky
I made a three tiered cake for my cousins wedding. I stacked it after transport.....It was fine until the music started. The vibrations, and the base from the DJ made it start to tilt.
The bride and groom had just finished smashing it in each others faces when it fell over. Luckily, I caught it.
lesson learned? make darn sure all your dowels are exactly the same length. I had one that was a smidge taller and I think that was the culprit..... that and the fact that the DJ was one level down, exactly under the cake.
TucsonPatty
It looks beautiful and sound absolutely delicious. Makes you wonder how the heck did all those hipsters get their cakes there without melting and sliding. The cakers (I just made that word up) have to make it at the venue, but that took exactly how much time? Longer than the ride over to the party, yes?
Wonder ful photo of Mama Betty. I trust she loved it!