It's almost Valentine's Day!! A holiday fraught with two of everyone's most favourite things - waxy chocolates and unfulfilled expectation.
To be a truly successful blogger you must, MUST celebrate each and every holiday with steroidal vigour. As if failing to create a St. Patrick's Day themed dinner party complete with live leprechauns glued to your wall in the form of a wreath will result in a man named Rocco showing up at your front door with a baseball bat and an unhealthy obsession with your knees.
Actually, scratch the baseball bat thing, if he's a blog enforcer obviously he'll beat you with a piece of a broken down pallet accessorized with some washi tape.
There are two other things crucial to being a successful blogger. I mean it isn't just about holiday frenzy.
The first being an ability to write. The second being an ability to photograph, manage, market, promote, beg, schedule, code, cry, recover, create, make, convey, invent and be perfectly content living for days on end without any real human contact beyond talking to your cat who you sometimes dress in pants because then it kind of feels like you have a co-worker, albeit a co-worker who never contributes anything significant to the business. So very much like upper management.
You get all those skillz down and you, my friend, WILL BE A SUCCESSFUL BLOGGER.
One of my attempts to make it into the world of successful bloggers was coming up with the cherry tarts I featured last week.
Why do these if I hate Valentine's day? As I do. Because WOOOOOOOOOOOO it's a holiday and we must all celebrate the holidays even if we don't like them and think they're stupid and would rather eat a bag of toenails.
#bloggerlife
The tarts are really good and really easy by the way. Nothing like a bag of toenails.
I do not like Valentine's Day. I think it's stupid and silly. And kind of embarrassing really; mostly for men. It's a holiday that at its heart seeks to point out that men, if unreminded, would go years on end, possibly even an entire LIFETIME without buying their wives cheap, skanky underwear. That's just dumb. Any men I've come across have to be reminded to NOT buy their wives cheap, skanky underwear.
Enter Valentine's Day, which conveniently and concisely reminds men throughout the world that nothing better assures a woman that she is loved and cared for, than a man coming home from work, pulling a newly purchased Valentine's Day card out of a plastic bag, signing it in front of her and handing it over with a self assured "I got you covered." smile. Once a year.
If the inventors of Valentine's Day were really serious about their job, the international symbol for it wouldn't be a heart, it would be the silhouette of a man with a drill and a romance novel tucked into his toolbelt while taking out the garbage in front of the whole neighbourhood wearing a thong. Handy, romantic, well read, funny, confident and helpful.
But because I'm a blogger and wish to maintain my status of successful blogger I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a good Valentine's Day DIY for this year. Maybe some food or a decoration or perhaps a recipe for how to make your own edible underwear. You know. Something classy.
I couldn't do it. Really the only Valentine's Day decorations I like are the super cheesy paper cutout hearts that you stick to your windows. You know, kindergarten type stuff. Which makes sense since I also like those old fashioned classmate Valentine's Day cards which are just a cutout of a slightly misshapen cartoon puppy holding a heart.
You'd have to have the cold, cold heart of a man named Rocco to not love that.
It's not that women don't like romance or grand gestures or even chocolate.
There's just something insincere about telling men, forcing them to prove their love through red roses and cheap chocolate on one of the 365 days in the year.
For most women the most memorable gestures of love rarely involve lace. Usually it involves a beverage. Like making you a coffee or pouring you a glass of wine, miraculously just knowing when you need it.
Maybe even on June 23rd. Or October 5th. Or noticing something that needs to be fixed and ... just fixing it. At the very least calling someone and arranging to have it fixed. Now THAT'S romance.
And don't even get me started on what a libido revver it is for a man to cup your chin in his hand as he draws your face close to his mouth and whispers "I want you to be in charge of the remote tonight."
So for right now, I've got nothin' for ya. No red wreath made out of cutout cupids, no chocolate beverage with a homemade heart shaped stir stick. No Valentine's dinner, dessert, printout or cutout.
Nothing.
But if you've learned anything from this post you've learned that doesn't mean I don't love you.
Barb
You got it, Karen! Maybe we can do away with Valentines Day and pretend spouses have adult enough enough relationships to show appreciation all the time ( okay, maybe not when he keeps you awake snoring. But the rest of the time) I figure my DH shows me he cares every morning when he makes the coffee(coffee, yes!) or builds retaining walls in the garden and listens to my pinterest flights of fancy. Valentine's Day always brings memories of being the only kid in the class not to get any, due to being the "new" kid (at least I hope that was the reason....)
The puppy is mega cute though. You can send me one of those.:-)
Elizabeth Luzier
Bravo!
Scout
I've never met a cat that wasn't upper management. Big picture thinkers. Solar powered. If they don't absorb all the excess gravity on my desk or in my laundry, everything would float away. I think. Seems so. Afraid to ask.
Elizabeth Menard
God, I hope there are lots of men who read this, and take it to heart (pun intended). Doing the dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage...great foreplay!
Anne MacKay
Wow, sounds like you really hit a nerve with this one! Yep, it's not my favourite day for grown-ups. In my younger years, I broke up with boyfriends on two separate occasions.
But the BEST Valentine's Day I've had was taking myself off to New York City to see the Christo exhibit in 20015... remember, those saffrom curtains hung in Central Park? A little scared going on my own - a usually standoffish city where everyone had a childlike wonder for two weeks during this event. It was a wonderful experience of being responsible for my own happiness! Exhilarating!
Kmarie
I love this picture of you. Another reason why I love Valentines Day. To me- any holiday can be ridiculous and celebrated for the wrong reasons...and any one can be beautiful. I am guilty of loving Valentines Day as one of my favourites...I can see your reasons and do agree with the sentiments a bit from that perspective. But I love seeing hearts to remind me to love others. I love the pink and red colours because they are so vibrant at a time when everything is so blah. I guess I am a romantic as my therapist often states... Plus my hubby is a Journeyman Carpenter so I already have the dream! Ha ha. Yet seriously, since I was little, I took the time each Valentines Day to use it as an excuse to pick a few friends or family and take the time to write why they were special, in my life, and the beautiful aspects of them. I still keep that tradition with my children. I like buying them little gifts of love from the thrift shop for Valentines Day. It's often a time when money is tight from Christmas but I also like doing gifts...so I go to the thrift store and find things for their personalities or rooms, disinfect them and wrap them messily in reds and pinks- and they love it!:)
I can't even apologize for it even though I see the legitimacy in arguments against it- I just love it:) I think love can be shown in many ways- even the cheesy gimmick ones and I love the consumerist aspect simply because shops are filled with colour and at least the symbols...and then we can make of it what we wish. That said, there are some terrible associations that can be made of it too that are legitimate.
Anyway, for this Valentines Day I wanted to say to you:
Thanks for making me laugh often. For giving your time to a bunch of people who have differing lives and opinions and putting in so much effort. The world needs more people who just live out their gifts, care for the earth and the people in it and make hearth and home beautiful. You are one of those people. I hope you get your beverage!
Lynn
Have baby sister born 14 February so we celebrate her not Valentine’s Day. Youngest is February 17 it’s celebrated rather than a hallmark picked dad.
Oldest daughter born 12 may so we always celebrate her day rather than Mother’s Day
In family the list keeps going on and on.
So as result we celebrate family birthdays not made up days.
An to be honest they really have gone nuts as they have a day for everything, it’s all a cash grab an I have never understood how people need said day to celebrate, love, life, happiness or just plain willing to be thankful of those that make our lives beautiful.
Vikki
Amen!!! what she said! What I value is him being there when I need him and for him to share the load when life gets heavy.
Celia
Let's celebrate Lupercalia instead!
(It's the Roman holiday Valentine's Day is loosely based on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lupercalia)
Joy
Couldn’t have read my mind any better!!!
Kim Wasserman
Just so you know your influence is real and all the time you take thinking and plotting is having an impact, I bought two cans of cherry pie filling at the store the other day. Haven't made a cherry pie in years, but those little tarts got me going. But I'm going to make the whole pie, since eating six of those little tarts would seem glutenous!
valerie mason
Simply put, "You're awesome"!
Marlene
I don't like imposed holidays and the expectations that come with them, don't like to get flowers either (I like them better growing in the garden). The longer I live the less I care about forced on you holidays and the more truthful to myself I become! Yay!
christina heggs
Too bad you people can not enjoy a little Valentines day. What about all the bad news we have in front of us daily. Too name a few, Government adults that act like children, Covid that is knocking people out of life, children behind in school, the elderly people seem to forget. Count your blessings if you can walk, talk, breathe clean air, and have friends and family. A day like Valentines Day is a little fun and not a day for regrets. Enjoy it even though it is what it is. A day of fun and beautiful red hearts. Come on Karen give us something happy
Barbara
Although I agree with the holiday bashing, I did send my mother and mother-in-law cards, notes and photos of their recent great grandson. There is little excitement at age 93 and 95 these days and those cards will bring great pleasure.
Leanne
Valentine’s Day also happens to be my birthday. So, every year, I remind my husband, and my daughter in hopes that she will also remind my husband, that I do not like plastic-wrapped roses and spray painted flowers or boxes of assorted chocolate or cake. (Last year it worked! Thank youuuu.) I do not like stuffed animals, pink hearts, and cards that say sappy things that aren’t even true. I like yellow and white mums that don’t die in one day, a packet of teeny tiny forget me not seeds, or yellow tulips planted in dirt so I can keep them and try to get them to bloom again. If you want to be sweet, how about a short, hand-written note? The obligatory card, flowers, and chocolate from the gas station on the way home just feels gross and then I feel guilty for not actually feeling grateful. Ick. The exception, for me, are yummy scented candles. Yes please, anytime. (As long as it doesn’t have hearts thrown up all over it.) Give a gift or an act of love in a way that shows you actually know the person for whom you are buying and that you see them. Feeling seen is free and it’s really what we all want. And maybe don’t wait for Valentine’s Day.
Elizabeth
As a longtime Valentines Day cynic myself, I have to admit I've come around this year with my daughter in Kindergarten. I initially rolled my eyes when I realized it was coming up and we'd have to make things for her classmates, BUT in the process, I realized *this* is what it should be all about -- not reminding husbands to buy cheap shit and everyone groaning as they try making reservations at a restaurant when everywhere good is already booked -- but an annual opportunity to take stock of ALL the people in our lives who we love and taking a minute to think about them, write a note or smush-paint a big heart for them and just let them know, "hey you're important to me and I love you." Her joy about making these big colorful hearts for everyone with little notes inside made my frozen heart melt a little...
Dorothy Borders
You are awesome! Thanks for the chuckle this morning, most mornings really. 🤣
Claudia A Luiz
What a great read - THANK YOU!!
Rachel Boggs
Gurl. You are so right. I’ve told my guy never to even THINK about bringing me a dozen red roses. But if you want to go fill my car up with gas and wash it, I’ll be yours forever. Can’t think of anything more romantic than that.