You're never too old unless you're dead.
About a week ago I took a woodworking class. I had no real interest in taking a woodworking class or working on a lathe. I mean, I was interested in it the same way I'm interested in pretty much everything, but I never had the deep-seated desire to turn wood, hold it up and declare to the world I MADE THIS HUNK OF WOOD OUT OF A HUNK OF WOOD!
But, my mother and one of my sisters ran into a guy who gave woodworking classes at some craft show a while ago and that was it. They were taking a woodworking class in an old Cotton Factory in town that now houses a bunch of artisans and business owners who understand nothing makes you more legit than working in a century old warehouse in the bad part of town. Seriously. An old building that the wind can whistle through and mangled wood floors smack dab in the middle of the hood. It's like a sticky trap for cool people.
NOT hipsters. Cool people. There's a difference. Hip is now, cool is forever.
How could I let my 83 year old mother be cooler than I was (yet again)? I signed up for the class immediately.
At 11:00-ish a.m. sharp we made our way through the maze of Cotton factory corridors and buildings until we came upon Y Knot Woodturning. Our classroom for the day. Instead of books there were chisels, instead of desks there were lathes and instead of apples on the teacher's desk there were bandaids. Other than that, same same.
We were told we could make almost whatever we wanted. Most of us wanted to make a pepper mill but Betty had to be different, and asked to make a salt box out of Ebony. When she was told Ebony would cost an extra $60 she gave a little snort and declared walnut her wood of choice.
Hugh, our instructor. I don't think he gave us the good tools to work with. He's smart like that.
In total I think we dropped our tools or rammed them on the lathe approximately 894 times.
Yet this is how happy he was to have us there.
In fact everyone was happy. We were all smiling like simpletons who had just been given new cardboard boxes to play with.
Betty refused to wear an apron, a dust mask or accept a seat during our 5 hours there. I on the other hand crouched on the floor due to exhaustion several times, wore safety glasses and a face mask and made sure I knew where the emergency exit was on the off chance someone's arm was taken off and I needed to make a quick escape to avoid vomiting in Hugh's workshop.
If you've never worked on a lathe before or have any idea how wood is turned, it's pretty archaic. You literally just clamp a square hunk of wood into a wildly spinning machine and hold a very sharp implement to it and hope the square hunk turns round before the wood or the chisel flip in the air and make their way to one of your important arteries.
Please accept that lesson from me to you, free of charge. You're welcome.
Now let's walk you through the process of making my pepper mill from start to finish.
This is what my pepper mill started out as. A long, square piece of wormy maple. Hugh cut it to length for me and then I was on my own. He told us how to use the lathe and safety precautions to take and that was really it. You were the official lathe operator from then on.
The first step to making most things is turning the square hunk into a round hunk. To do that all you do is hold a chisel against the fence of the lathe until you have wood shavings in your underwear. Once you have that, your hunk of wood is probably round.
We always had a lathe in our home because my father was a machinist. But he was making metal bits of stuff and it never interested me. NOW I wish I'd paid attention or shown some sort of interest. But mainly he liked to be alone in his workshop and drink while using dangerous power tools, so it's probably better I was uninterested.
Once you have your round shape, you do a bunch of stuff I don't remember because it all happened so fast. You have to drill holes so the mill is hollow on the inside, plus a couple of holes in the bottom for the mill gear to fit. You have to cut off the top and do a bunch of other things that, like I said, I don't remember. Every once in a while Hugh would wander over, grab something out of your hand, fix something that was about to go horribly wrong, and then he'd whistle over to the next person and do the same thing.
One of the last steps is shaping your pepper mill. You can do anything. Make it all bumpy like a typical, traditional pepper mill, or make it completely straight up and down, WHATEVER YOU WANT. It was so overwhelming I had some kind of breakdown. Everyone else knew they wanted a bumpy pepper mill and my mother was making a salt box so she didn't have to decide on anything. I wanted to make a bumpy pepper mill because it seemed more fun to do ... but ... I also wanted something a bit sleeker. Against my better judgement I went with a sleek design.
There's no template, no pattern, no guide at all. You just grab your chisel, freehand the pepper mill and hope for the best. Once your shape is done you sand it until it's like glass and then you grab a big pile of wood shavings from the floor (or your underpants) and sand the pepper mill once more with those. Then it's like wet glass.
Now all you have to do is put the hardware in the pepper mill, sign it and decide what you're having for dinner.
Ta. Da. My Scandinavian pepper mill, right down to its finish of Danish Tung Oil. I kept telling everyone I just needed to lick it, but no one got the joke. I'm Danish you see.
If you look at the spot on the pepper mill that's directly in line with the middle of my palm you'll see two holes that look like snake bites. Those are the worm holes. And corresponding to those holds are dark stripes down the wood. Those dark stripes are created by an enzyme released by the worms. It discolours the wood.
5 hours it took to make that baby. Hugh says I could sell it for $85. The course cost me just over $100 and took 5 hours of my time so I'm not sure it's the best way for me to make some side cash.
With our completed projects.
At home in the kitchen.
Which brings us full circle to my first point. Betty is 83 and still taking courses and learning new things. Just a few months ago she told me she learned a LOT by watching the show Orange is the New Black for instance.
So the next time you think to yourself I'm too old to (insert ANYTHING here), tell yourself to shut the hell up. If 83 year old Betty can learn how lesbians have sex without a penis then you can learn how to skydive. Or play the drums or the piano or poker.
You're never too old. Unless you're dead.
Have a good weekend!
Edie Marie's Attic
This is so cool Karen! It's fun to try something you've always had in the back of your mind. Mine is to snow ski... but at my age I really think it's too late for it. I now have visions attached to it that shows me in casts for broken legs or a pinned hip! So I just keep the vision for old time sake. Your wood piece looks great. I took a stained glass course years ago and felt very pleased I could create a beautiful glass piece even with bandaged fingers from glass cuts! My best friend "Kitty" & I love your blog and your wonderful sense of humor. My friend has your same sense of design and she loves that I compare her to you, she's quite flattered with that. Anyways we wish you a very very Merry Christmas and incredibly wonderful things in 2018!
Blessings, Sherry @ Edie Marie's Attic & my friend "Kitty"
Karen
Thanks Edie. You should upload a picture of your stained glass. ~ karen!
Jenny W
Reading your posts simply makes me Happy :)
They also make me want to dye my hair blond, run away, and join your family!
Keep on learning new things to share with us Karen - cause there's an Art to Doing Stuff <3
Karen
Thanks Jenny W. :) I plan to continue. ~ karen!
Der Karhu
But, you really MUST try a blacksmithing course!
The power to shape iron and steel; it's "elemental": fire, iron, hammering... and, the permanence of the things one can make is unlike almost anything else we do. (Stone sculpture and good ceramics/glass work fall into the same class, of course)
After taking a knife-making course in Finland (forged blades, NOT just grinding away at steel), I took a course in Sweden, for 8 days, at Gränsfors Bruk (Lee Valley carries their wonderful axes), and "made stuff". Dirty, loud, hot, but something "real"!
debbie d
Gorgeous!
Karen
I'd love blacksmithing! Partly for the leather aprons, but everything else I'm sure would be great as well. Love your candlestick. GOOD job. ~ karen!
Der Karhu
Thanks to both of you (Debbie D & Karen) for the compliments :-)
It was a great time, and one can end up with useful, and long-lasting items...
Catt-in-Kentucky
Love this post! Your pepper mill is fab!
Karen
Thanks Catt. I loveeee using it. I've never added so much pepper to my cooking in my life. ~ karen!
Marna
Beautiful! I love learning new things. I have many interests.
J
MERRY CHRISTMAS! YOUR BLOG IS A PRESENT ALL YEAR LONG!
[and yes I am shouting!!]
Glad to know you and Betty!
Karen
Thanks J. :) ~ karen!
Jayne fortman
This was made for my Mom by a neighbor 51 years ago. Love it so much, watched him carve it with a pocket knife. Nothing like the real thing. Oh, by the way my best friend of 52 years dad whittled it. His name is Donald Greear. Also made me a true blue CUBS fan.
Jayne Fortman
Sorry the picture is upside down🙃 guess I am a little topsy turvy too. LOL
Jayne Fortman
New at posting too😉
Karen
:) That's O.K. I get the idea. The boot looks great. :) Really great. ~ karen
Teresa J
Guess Fish Pedicure isn't into woodworking like you and Pink Tool Belt hey Karen! Hot yoga niece doesn't fall far from the apple tree. Absolutely want to be Betty when I grow up ! Guess I had better tune into OISTNB!!! Could learn something it sounds like!!!
Karen
Fish Pedicure probably would have loved it but was at work. ~ karen!
Teresa J
Ok that explains it. Merry Christmas Karen, to you and yours from Prince George, BC.
Amanda
I would have definitely laughed if I was around to hear you say, you’re going to lick your sleek pepper Mill. I plan to be just like Betty in 40 years.
Karen
Thank you. At least someone gets me. ~ karen!
TucsonPatty
I understood, and laughed here in Tucson! You probably couldn't hear me, though. Right?
Janet Urquhart
I LOVE Betty!
Barbie
I love your pepper mill!! It beautiful Karen! I like the sleek design the best! What a fun thing to do with the gals! Most of all I loved the picture of all of you holding your finished project!! Sister, neice, mom, correct? Gave me wam fuzzies!
Merry Christmas Karen
Karen
Yes ma'am! :) Good eye. Fish Pedicure was at work. ~ karen!
Tina
This is something I’d love to try! But I’m in Boston and that’s a long way from you. Regardless, it looks fun!
Nicole Sparks
I bet the Elliot School in JP has a wood turning class. Seems like something that'd be up their alley. If they had an alley.
Gayle M
My husband would never let me go near a lathe--I have to have permission to use the pruners ever since I cut my left forefinger to the bone about mid-nail vicinity. I have so many scars from stitches on my left hand. The dr stitching me up from the pruner incident asked me why I had so many scars on my left hand. Duh, I personally thought it was obvious, but decided to state the obvious: "I'm right handed..." "Oh." Must have been his lesson for the day. Then there was that time we were negotiating for a discount because my husband had to show the dr how to open the "surgical" glue (really, just super glue, she said) so she could glue my wound closed. Ha! No chance.
So you see why you won't ever see me near a lathe. But...I'd sure like to carve me a pepper mill, too. Cool job, Karen!
Melissa
(shivers) you made my bones tingle with your first sentence. Gah-
Sarah
Am I the only one who thought the beautifully-ribbed piece behind the lathe (in the first photo after the one where Karen is using the lathe) was one of Hugh's masterpieces?!
(Which I now realize it is not :-) )
Karen
LOL. That was part of the venting system. :) ~ karen!
Jules McShera
Me too!
Clare Hollingsworth
Me too!!
Kimbydee
Me too! Lol
We should form a club!
Dot
Beautiful pieces and beautiful people!😍. However I don’t think I’ll ever get that picture of Betty being educated by Orange Is The New Black🤪 out of my head.
Karen
You're welcome. ~ karen!
MrsChrisSA
Betty is a legend!!! If I get to be that age, I hope I have her thirst for learning and living!!!
Kristina
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!! (Intentional shouting, ty) My husband always jokes that if someone offered to show me how to milk a cow or rebuild a scooter or to graft 20 different fruits onto one tree, I will be there! I'm 46 and I hope I can keep that love of learning. I don't learn well from books but dangit, I can learn darn well by hands on doing!
Karen
Thanks Kristina! I hear ya, I'm a hands on learner too. p.s. Milking cows is FUN. ~ karen!
Katie
Milking goats is easier and they (usually) don't try to kill you - LOL. I love that your mom (and you and your sisters) are still willing to try new things! I am a big fan of trying new things...for my 50th, I plan to go indoor sky-diving (I don't think I will *ever* be willing to jump out of a perfectly good plane, but you never know)
Katie
P.S. I am now 48.25 :)
Linda
Your Mom is such a great sport! She is always up for something. I sure hope I have the same energy and interest in life as she does when/if I am her age.
Diane Amick
I love you....Merry Christmas!
Karen
That's because you haven't seen my wood shaving filled underpants. ~ karen!
TucsonPatty
I want to know how long it took to get the wood shavings *out* of your underpants! Like cutting hair, those little suckers are yours for life?? They live in your bras and shoes, too. Those are beautiful wood turnings! OITNB is my favorite and I definitely learned some new things, including how to thread eyebrows with a tampon string! Awesome shit, that!
Karen
LOL! See? Lots to be learned from that show. ~ karen!
Maria Campbell
I was reminded of your frozen yogurt tampons. I'm not sure but I think I have a dirty mind. It looks like you are having a lot of fun. And I did too. Thanks and Merry Christmas!
Karen
Thanks Maria. That post was one of my classics. And very near the beginning of this blog! ~ karen
Linda
Now that is a blog I missed! Where's the link? My curiosity is piqued about frozen yogurt tampons!
TucsonPatty
https://www.theartofdoingstuff.com/frozen-yogourt-tampons-all-this-scratchin-is-makin-me-itch/ That search bar is awesome! Thanks, Karen!
Caris
I signed up for your site because you're hilarious, and this was hilarious, along with added suspense, danger and excitement. I really like your sleek take on a pepper mill. It's quite beautiful. And I like the homily about age. Well said.
Karen
Thanks! On all counts. ~ karen!